Incidence of self harm among asexuals?

[Marvin]

So in this poll I'm using the term "self harm" to refer to any deliberate destructive behaviour used as a coping mechanism; i.e. cutting, burning, eating disorders, alcoholism, trichotillomania, etc.

See.. the term deliberate is what I have difficulty with here. There are myriad things I do which would probably be classified as self harm, but I'm barely conscious of most of them, I just get myself into a state of agitation/dissociation/both and find myself doing them. I haven't deliberately (i.e. made a conscious effort to do so) harmed myself in around 9 months though. At least, not to what I'd consider a noteworthy extent.

To the actual question.. Asexuality is not why I do such things. It could be a contributing factor, it's certainly cause to feel more alienated at times, but it's not a defining reason, I have more than enough of those to begin with.

[Whatsername]

I chose the one where I self-harm because of factors unrelated to my asexuality. I'm not ready to give up the bad habit yet, but maybe one day I can survive without it.

[Luvdisc]

I chose the one where I self-harm because of factors unrelated to my asexuality. I'm not ready to give up the bad habit yet, but maybe one day I can survive without it.

I'm kind of with you there. I'm doing better though.

[niku-bot]

I've self-harmed for about... five years now. It's completely unrelated to my sexuality, or lack of. I'm trying to kick this awful habit, though.

[InfiniteNull]

I voted never, but I actually have...

I didnt think "other" would fit as well because I never made a habbit of self harm... it is something that I did once in my life... was related to some major emotional adjustments that I went through...

although now that I think about it... my drug use started out as a form of self harm... I wanted the drugs to make me sick and to kill me... :\

I forgot about that...

they just became so fun later on lool

[squiggle]

I have bitten myself on a lot of occasions in the past out of sheer frustration. No knives though. I'm scared of the sight of blood. I haven't bit myself for donkeys' years though...

[Elliott Ford]

I've never self harmed physically. I used to self harm mentally if that makes any sense (with music and whatnot). Nowadays I look back and think that was a pretty sad and ignorant thing to do. It didn't cause any kind of permanent scars but I feel awfully stupid because I used to do it

I do that. Quite often actually.

And i've deliberately hurt myself, made pretty scratches all over my arms... Never drawn blood though. I have just about enough self-control not to. wel,, most of the time i do.

Never. No matter how hard life gets, no matter what happens....ultimately, I just can't justify it.

That's why i'm still alive. Every time i feel suicidal i know that i can't really justify why i shouldn't be alive any more - so i stay.

[Member #27415]

used to do some cutting (not all thru the wrist kinda thing and not so much but have some permanent scars) and still do some hitting sometimes. not related to orientation, rather to some self-esteem issues, peace-with-self or rather with the lack of the latter.

[mandamoo]

I am a self harmer, and my husband (I think) is asexual where as I am sexual. I feel frustrated and rejected at times which would want me to self harm but I would never upset my husband by telling him that he is one of the reasons I do it.

Hope that makes sense.

[please delete this account]

As follows:

See.. the term deliberate is what I have difficulty with here. There are myriad things I do which would probably be classified as self harm, but I'm barely conscious of most of them, I just get myself into a state of agitation/dissociation/both and find myself doing them.

(quotes to avoid repitition, and also don't like talking so useful using others' owods)

Never. No matter how hard life gets, no matter what happens....ultimately, I just can't justify it.

That's why i'm still alive. Every time i feel suicidal i know that i can't really justify why i shouldn't be alive any more - so i stay.

*thinks*

*quite likes the idea of turning that question into a negative*

*thinks*

*concludes that sometimes thinking isn't helpful*

-distraction-

This is a very personal thing, i'm partially surprised people are being so open really.

I used to have an elastic band, it was very helpful but someone i know effectively confiscated it.

Also, ice may be useful.

I was told that clenching fists as hard as you can is a biological distraction, but personally found it useless (may help some people though).

[gwitcoy]

i have never self harmed but my sisters have.

im sure they have their reasons but it always seemed a competition, comparing the cuts and what not .. what do you call them chicken scratches or something? i dunno...

i would never ever lecture someone who does it, i would never think less of them but my first fleeting feeling is one of anger because of my sisters silly challenge .. although im sure they started because of something

i understand why people do it, but there is that initial anger, but not at them i suppose, just the memory.

[Angelnoir]

I have never self harmed, I can't stand any pain.

Though I have anemia and I could go to the doctor and begin to cure it, thus I wouldn't suffer of some things that can happen like fainting or losing strenght,hyperventilation....well,stuff like that but I don't go there.

But that's because I don't have the time and when I have time, I don't want to spend my time going to the doctor...so I suffer because of my own conduct..... but I wouldn't consider this self harm though it's harming me (and I could change this)....well but it's not harming me that bad,too....so.....

The point is I would not actively and consciously self harm because I have no reason to do that and I don't like pain.

[Marvin]

This is a very personal thing, i'm partially surprised people are being so open really.

I used to have an elastic band, it was very helpful but someone i know effectively confiscated it.

Also, ice may be useful.

I was told that clenching fists as hard as you can is a biological distraction, but personally found it useless (may help some people though).

1) The internet is a wonderful thing...

2) The clenching fists thing works better if you have long(ish) nails, but if you're doing that then it fits some definitions of self harm anyway. It's kind of a damage limitation thing, same as with the elastic band. (Get a new one, if it helps. Or an elastic hair tie, which I find is actually more effective.)

There's a rather comprehensive list of things to do here, for anyone who feels the need to read it.

[Porygon]

I've never intentionally hurt myself, but I have trichotillomania as part of my OCD, which means I compulsively pull out my hair. It's classified as self-harm by some, but it doesn't really hurt or do anything more than leave a mess and a bald spot or two (unless you're careful. :P) and it's certainly not because of my (a)sexuality or self image. At least..I'm pretty sure it's not. I think it actually evolved from when my habit I had when I was little of chewing on my hair..

If I could, I'd stop it.

[Kamtoad]

I have never self-harmed. I used to think about it, but never actually did anything.

[C.nick]

I picked other, because though I don't consider it self-harm I have pulled my hair scratched myself and have done other behaviors that one might consider self-harm. I do them basically for the sake of repetitiveness and I believe they have more to do with my perfectionism than anything else.

[carried in bags]

other - i havent cut for over a year. i think asexuality had a lot to do with the confusion and hurt. but not all

[AkiraCoinTykiGotBetaMuffin]

I used to due to depression and stopped, I recently started again due to depression and I continue to do so now as I like the pain, its very pleasant.

[TheMelbourneMethod]

I've never self harmed physically. I used to self harm mentally if that makes any sense (with music and whatnot). Nowadays I look back and think that was a pretty sad and ignorant thing to do. It didn't cause any kind of permanent scars but I feel awfully stupid because I used to do it

Yeah, same here.

2) The clenching fists thing works better if you have long(ish) nails, but if you're doing that then it fits some definitions of self harm anyway. It's kind of a damage limitation thing, same as with the elastic band. (Get a new one, if it helps. Or an elastic hair tie, which I find is actually more effective.)

Well, if you don't count that. Also, does dripping hot wax on your arms/wrists/hands count as self-harm? I used to do that all the time. Part pyro-fascination and part I-don't-know-what. Those were tough times. I still like it though; it's like a more extreme version of a glue gun. In gradeschool all the boys in our class and me loved glueing up our hands with hot glue. Which doesn't count. (The previous comparison is invalid. Glue guns are not about self-hate.)

[knout]

"I self harm because of factors not related to my asexuality"

It's hard to say if it's related or not.

I've been cutting for a little over a year, that's the first time I'm talking about it. I cut my thighs because that's a place no one will ever notice.

[gray_imagination]

I've self harmed for lots of reasons but never anything related to being asexual. In fact, I think being sexual would probably be more of a problem for me, LOL. Being asexual is usually one of the LEAST stressful things in my life.

[Sabriel]

I chose that I've never self harmed, although if you count getting ridiculously drunk to try to make myself happy/blank out what was going on, I've done that a couple times. I wouldn't call that self harm though, I only did it a couple times and I realised it didn't work at all :P I could never cut or burn myself though, I just couldn't.

[FallenAngel]

I haven't done it in a while, but I stopped mainly because it was summer and I'd be wearing less clothes and more skin will be shown.

I would have bouts of cutting and stopping that would last a few months. They're brought on by self esteem issues, definitely, and pressure from myself and pressure from my parents andandand yeah just a lot of things haha

Now that I think of it, I've always harmed myself for as long as I can remember. I remember hurting myself intentionally in elementary school when I'd forget a book at home or when I got into trouble... hm...

[FallenAngel]

Well, if you don't count that. Also, does dripping hot wax on your arms/wrists/hands count as self-harm? I used to do that all the time. Part pyro-fascination and part I-don't-know-what. Those were tough times. I still like it though; it's like a more extreme version of a glue gun. In gradeschool all the boys in our class and me loved glueing up our hands with hot glue. Which doesn't count. (The previous comparison is invalid. Glue guns are not about self-hate.)

YESSS!! I remember my art teacher in elementary school (I guess it's also called grade school) used to use glue guns. And I'd always just touch the hot glue when she wasn't looking. I loved that feeling.

[Blerdivor]

I've never self harmed myself or considered it.

[Cupcake_Master]

Self harm?

I do have anxiety related biting problems, but that's when I get really worked up. I just start biting at my hand, but I never cut the skin.

I do tend to peck at my fingers though, that counts as self harm, believe it or not.

[Guest member25959]

EDITED: Referring to later post

[vanillio]

ouch. I once tried self harm just to see what all the fuss was about (there was a big fuss about it when I was a teen anyway). It hurt like a mother******, so I never did it again. Man, it would not matter how depressed I got, burning and cutting would not hurt any less! I don't know if people who do it just have like no pain sensitivity or if I have extreme pain sensitivity. But OWE. How?

Anyway, obviously this was a social activity, not related to sexuality.

I just wanted to point out that this poll won't help answer whether asexuals are more at risk than heterosexuals for self harm. You'd have to get a bunch of heterosexuals and asexuals to answer a poll.

Hmmmm... I did it to see what it did, and next thing I knew i had cuts here and there... and depression may cause alot of pain, when you have no more tears, you feel you may release the suicidal tension this way... and between the 2, i feel the former (cutting) is "better"...

Unfortunately, my friend, an ex-cutter who has been telling me about his experiences on my demand has noticed and feels guilty.... I must admit that the first time was caused by influence.

I hope your happy now, im all tense. And my depression is directly related to my sexual orientation... when i found out my little brother was no longer virgin, i could not fall asleep till i cut and x to my upper arm...

[the Lady Ashuko]

I chose present tense unrelated, though it may not count...I pick at my skin because of my OCD. Mostly on my arms and back and it's like I start with one (either on purpose or because my hand found a spot and went on its own) and go for forty minutes or more!

In elementary school I used to stick my fingers in hot candle wax because I liked the feeling (and peeling it off after it cooled!).

[Moon Thief]

I've never self harmed before.