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7 minutes ago, Adon shun said:
28 minutes ago, Cee Fox said:
On 5/4/2021 at 10:24 PM, Karst said:

Always amazed by people who wear short shorts... it's like they don't hate the idea of others looking at sexualized areas of their bodies...

I can give an answer to this one. It's hot here, I like the way they look, and I just don't give a damn. People will sexualize me anyways, and I find the frequency of that happening doesn't change based on what I wear, so I'll just wear whatever I want.

I feel that, on both accounts. I felt super distubed at the thought of people sexualizing me for what I wear and was super careful about my clothes(even bough a binder to feel more comfortable) but you realize that if they want to they will always find something, I still don't wear things that show too much skin when I know people outside my family are going to see me but I stoped stifling myself in so many layers out of fear. What I want to say is, dress up for yourself, if that means wearing no shorts because you don't like then it's totally fine but it's not right to feel like you can't wear something because how they are going to see it.

To be fair, I guess there are people who wear short/skimpy clothes to be noticed and/or found sexually attractive. It wasn't personally anything I considered until I made a more conservative friend who told me the way I dress would be considered scandalous where she's from😂. I think another part of people's fear is being perceived as promiscuous or attention-seeking. I just come from a place where apparently everyone is 'provocative' so I never grew up with those perceptions about dressing a certain way and I always thought I was fairly modest lol. It's also due to the household I grew up in, they let me wear whatever I wanted.

 

I guess it comes down to not caring what other people think of you. I'm not usually a very confident person but the way I dress has never been an aspect of me where I cared about anyone else's opinions, never mind a stranger who either sees me as a piece of meat or an attention-seeker. I don't stare at people who bundle up, I don't expect to be  stared at for wearing a tank top and shorts. They're just clothes.

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13 minutes ago, Adon shun said:
18 minutes ago, Zagadka said:

When I was about 10 I got a waterbed, which I had all through my teens until I moved out. Apparently, that is a sex thing, and I'm still not sure quite how a waterbed makes sex better.

Wait what? I always thought of it as a legit piece of furniture  that maybe helps with back problems. Well tbh I don't want to think much about the how or why of it but I don't see it either.

Aaand I'm laughing again🤣🤣 Why is that a thing? Wouldn't it make it harder? I just thought it was a cool bed. Oh my word I'm cackling!

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3 minutes ago, Cee Fox said:

Aaand I'm laughing again🤣🤣 Why is that a thing? Wouldn't it make it harder? I just thought it was a cool bed. Oh my word I'm cackling!

Yea, I have no idea! I don't know... the... leverage seems like it would be harder?

 

It was a comfy bed that let me sink in and could be heated in the winter, that's all I know.

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So I googled it😅, it seems that despite it originally being for sleep it eventually became a sex thing more that anything. The logic('cause there is no experience to speak of) seems sound of why some people could enjoy it but for others it wasn't viable.

 

https://www.sleepadvisor.org/waterbed-sex/

Edited by Adon shun
The link I used
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Though not ever heard if the waterbed being a sex thing, I’ve heard of the coin operated vibrating bed, that’s probably a sex thing :P 

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It must be terrible uncomfortable, I once tried such a bed, even rest on it normally, this is a test. And if you need to move...

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11 hours ago, Zagadka said:

I'm still confused and curious now. Any people with more experience who can explain?

No idea

I just remember people using a phrase something about the "motion of the ocean". Maybe more because it rhymed than for any sensical meaning. :P 

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13 hours ago, Adon shun said:

So I googled it😅, it seems that despite it originally being for sleep it eventually became a sex thing more that anything. The logic('cause there is no experience to speak of) seems sound of why some people could enjoy it but for others it wasn't viable.

 

https://www.sleepadvisor.org/waterbed-sex/

Uh.... okay??? I'm also more confused😭

 

13 hours ago, Zagadka said:

Yea, I have no idea! I don't know... the... leverage seems like it would be harder?

That's what I would think?!? I assumed having a good sense of balance would be pretty important.... Then again I really wouldn't know about preference lol.

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https://insidebedroom.com/waterbed-sex/

 

Quote

 

Why Sex on a Waterbed is a Good Idea – Or a Bad One!

Here are some other reasons why sex on a waterbed may be a good idea:

  • It makes little noise! A spring mattress can create a noise that lets everybody within listening distance know what you are doing. It is difficult to understand why this should be an issue because without sex humans would die out.
  • It’s bouncy! A waterbed is bouncy and offers the bounce that lovers like when having sex.
 
  • A waterbed enables your combined body weights to be distributed equally over the entire bed. This means that you can have sex in any position you prefer without losing the support of your bed or mattress. A waterbed can support you both in whatever position you prefer, and wherever on the bed, you prefer. Waterbed offers other health benefits as well.
  • Easy to Clean: It is easy for a regular mattress cover to become contaminated with fluids during and after sex. Even if you use a separate mattress cover, it is possible for the mattress itself to become contaminated. In many cases, this can invalidate your warranty should you ever need to make a claim. A waterbed mattress has a vinyl top that is easy to clean.

 

Here are some of the negative aspects of sex on a waterbed – or what to look out for.

  • Lying on a waterbed can give you a feeling of unwanted movement as the water sloshes about in the mattress. This movement can put you off the reason for being there.
  • The constant movement of a waterbed could make you and/or your partner slightly nauseous. If you are having a sexual encounter with someone who is not familiar with waterbeds, then the experience can make a big difference to his or her experience. As the water flows below your bodies, you may find it difficult to focus only on your partner – or vice versa.
  • The after-sex experience may be less than you might have wished for. Your mattress should be comfortable enough for you and your partner to lie down and cuddle each other before going to sleep. Many mattresses do not allow this to happen, so check out with various people how their mattresses work for them in this respect.

 

 

The "easy to clean" bit reminds me of disturbing things.

 

From

 

https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=269490

 

(I have no idea why that site showed up high on my search)

 

Quote

I've had sex in my parent's waterbed a couple of times and you guys are right...you can't get a rhythm going. I hate being on top in the water bed too, it's better if the girl is riding cowgirl style if you are gonna screw in a waterbed.

Quote

I remember some quote of Ron Jeremey's in which he says some of the worst porn shoots he did involved waterbeds because he cant get any good/solid footing.

Quote

Forget the typical rhythm. I had one when I was married and what you do is, in a standard missionary position, push down on the mattress with your arms like you're doing pushups. That will cause the waves to start and then you just ride them. When the waves raise her pelvis up you thrust in. When her pelvis goes down you pull out.. Let the mattress do all the work for you because it won't work the "normal" way.

It'll take a little practice but will be worth it.

In his parent's waterbed? EWE. 

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Incredibly Ace Moment of the day: reading all these comments about sex on a waterbed and going "Holy crap that bed would do wonders for my back"

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On 5/9/2021 at 3:21 PM, chalkozyn said:

Today I learned that "Netflix and chill" doesn't mean just chilling. I actually used it sometimes. Meaning eating cookies under a blanket while watching. I hope no one got any weird ideas.

It was embarrassing how long that took me to figure out. Luckily, I never used the phrase. Hubby and I prefer "Hulu and Hang". 

 

 

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Realising that yes, baking is indeed more fulfilling than even think about what sexuality and sexual attraction are and cupcakes are so much better than thinking about useless stuff anyways. 

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an~imperial~votress
On 5/10/2021 at 10:54 AM, Thujaplicata said:

I was thinking about that more yesterday and realized that aside from not noticing the apparent hotness, it also never occurred to me that anyone would want to be warned ahead of time about that. I've read and heard enough that I sort of understand that attractive people can be distracting but it doesn't seem real to me. Like, if it's a situation where you have other stuff to do you just ignore that, right? I guess it's harder than that. There's all those tropes of people blushing and being unable to converse normally around people they like/find attractive...

Wow. I somehow did not know that until just now. Weird! 

On 5/10/2021 at 10:54 AM, Thujaplicata said:

 

Some boy liking me was my worst fear in high school. Cause then I'd have to deal with it. (Tell him to go away.) There's still a small anxious part of my mind that throws an absolute fit if I'm with a guy in what someone else might interpret as a romantic situation. It's really irritating.

Yes, I was afraid of this too. There's the one side where you want them to for sure know you're not interested, and then the other where you don't want to be seen as mean or something (though out of fear of this sort of attention I have been known to be a somewhat unfriendly person at school). And then what if you don't realize they like you and just think they want to be friends, and unknowingly mislead them? Fortunately I experienced this only as a theoretical debate. I'm glad school is online for me now for this reason, I don't have to interact as often with people at school whom I don't know well and group projects are thankfully (for more than one reason, as they tend to be horrendous arrangements in my experience) no longer a thing.

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On 5/11/2021 at 12:36 AM, dhjunglejape said:

Someone had to explain to me what WAP was on Youtube.

I didn't what was until months after it was a big deal. 100% regret looking it up on YouTube and seeing the music video. 😳😬 On a positive note found the parody Well Armed Peasants soon after.

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9 hours ago, an~imperial~votress said:

Yes, I was afraid of this too. There's the one side where you want them to for sure know you're not interested, and then the other where you don't want to be seen as mean or something (though out of fear of this sort of attention I have been known to be a somewhat unfriendly person at school). And then what if you don't realize they like you and just think they want to be friends, and unknowingly mislead them? Fortunately I experienced this only as a theoretical debate. I'm glad school is online for me now for this reason, I don't have to interact as often with people at school whom I don't know well and group projects are thankfully (for more than one reason, as they tend to be horrendous arrangements in my experience) no longer a thing.

I had a small group of friends and focused on the teacher to the extent that I didn't know many of my classmate's names. I was always pretty friendly, but outside of class people would go "hey!" and I'd be like "hi...." while mentally floundering because Who? I assume we share a class... why are you talking to me?

My tendency to chat with strangers and smile at all and sundry has gotten me unwanted attention though. I've been asked out by men I'd barely spoken to at least 5 times that I noticed (and 2 of those I didn't realize till 2 years later). Fortunately, most of them have been quick to back off when I said no. 

I tend to use "I'm asexual" as a shield. Or perhaps a large and pointed stick. Keep your distance! I'm ace! And NOT INTERESTED. Of course, now I'm dating my best friend so... (She's not ace but knows I am and was very patient with my generalized confusion, if bemused by how oblivious I remained to everything. She insisted I research queer platonic relationships before we decided on anything because she wanted to make sure I knew of all my options.)

I posted earlier in this thread about a coworker when I was an intern who was flirting with me and I hadn't realized it! It was very embarrassingI had no idea until another intern asked if I was flirting in return. Really funny in hindsight though. I have definitely missed many indications of interest, but most of them passed by without incident so...good enough for me!

Group projects are truly painful. Really fun if you get good teammates but that happens rarely... 

I'm glad the online schooling is working for you! I'll admit, I only had one quarter of college online and I struggled. But there are some advantages for sure.

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Article in today’s Guardian newspaper: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/may/13/is-oral-sex-more-covid-safe-than-kissing-the-expert-guide-to-a-horny-healthy-summer

 

This starts with: 

“Hugs,” everybody keeps saying. “Who do you most want to hug on 17 May?” It’s an absurd act of prudishness. The real headline of next Monday is, of course, that this is the first day on which it will be legal (in England and most of Scotland, but not yet Wales or Northern Ireland) to have sex with a stranger since 22 March 2020. 

 

No. No! NO! I was looking forward to a hug. No prudishness. No euphemism. Just a hug. All clothes on. This article has ruined that for me.

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Last night, I had a dream that I told a girl I like (not one IRL, just in the dream) that I was ace, and she said, "mmm, that's cute."

 

This literally made my morning. It gives me hope.

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4 years ago I went to some dates with a guy I really liked.

 

And in one of them, the plan was to go to my home to watch the last season of Game of Thrones, because he hadn't watched it yet (he was waiting for the season to finish to be able to watch it in one go).

 

And so, we did this.

 

Nobody believed me at the beginning when I talked about the date, because of course everyone assumed there would be someting sexual, and when I just answered things like: "well, the plan was watching GoT, so we did that", my friends gave me weird looks 🙄

 

In retrospect, that was a big hint about my sexual orientation 😅

 

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I was checking out Uncle Buck movie memes (it’s a gold mine of prefabs), most of which are good, but when I saw the spoilered one I cringed, turned away slightly and thought in a sarcastic tone “Thanks for letting me know”.

 

I’ve seen the movie dozens of times and I never noticed.

 

 

spacer.png

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7 hours ago, Tystie said:

Article in today’s Guardian newspaper: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/may/13/is-oral-sex-more-covid-safe-than-kissing-the-expert-guide-to-a-horny-healthy-summer

 

This starts with: 

“Hugs,” everybody keeps saying. “Who do you most want to hug on 17 May?” It’s an absurd act of prudishness. The real headline of next Monday is, of course, that this is the first day on which it will be legal (in England and most of Scotland, but not yet Wales or Northern Ireland) to have sex with a stranger since 22 March 2020. 

 

No. No! NO! I was looking forward to a hug. No prudishness. No euphemism. Just a hug. All clothes on. This article has ruined that for me.

Another article on redit I've read... something to do about COVID affecting the men's ability to become erect, interesting read with those doing oral, passing on the COVID in this way.

https://www.reddit.com/r/EverythingScience/comments/kb3tsh/yes_covid_penis_is_a_thing/

https://www.reddit.com/r/psychologyofsex/comments/kbpylp/erectile_dysfunction_ed_is_a_likely_consequence/

Links are safe, click through the Reddit articles at own risk of course

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an~imperial~votress

 

13 hours ago, Thujaplicata said:

had a small group of friends and focused on the teacher to the extent that I didn't know many of my classmate's names. I was always pretty friendly, but outside of class people would go "hey!" and I'd be like "hi...." while mentally floundering because Who? I assume we share a class... why are you talking to me?

Yes, that's happened to me before! Someone would say "Hi, [name]!" and I'd be wondering how I even know them (and how they know my name when I don't know or remember theirs). Once it was someone from my art class (turns out I'm better at recognizing drawing styles than faces :P) and we did become friends for a while, which was nice; most of the time though it's just bewildering because I wasn't bothering to keep track of it all and just minding my own business. 

13 hours ago, Thujaplicata said:

 

My tendency to chat with strangers and smile at all and sundry has gotten me unwanted attention though. I've been asked out by men I'd barely spoken to at least 5 times that I noticed (and 2 of those I didn't realize till 2 years later). Fortunately, most of them have been quick to back off when I said no. 

I tend to use "I'm asexual" as a shield. Or perhaps a large and pointed stick. Keep your distance! I'm ace! And NOT INTERESTED. Of course, now I'm dating my best friend so... (She's not ace but knows I am and was very patient with my generalized confusion, if bemused by how oblivious I remained to everything. She insisted I research queer platonic relationships before we decided on anything because she wanted to make sure I knew of all my options.)

I posted earlier in this thread about a coworker when I was an intern who was flirting with me and I hadn't realized it! It was very embarrassingI had no idea until another intern asked if I was flirting in return. Really funny in hindsight though. I have definitely missed many indications of interest, but most of them passed by without incident so...good enough for me!

I do get concerned about how I might deal with this kind of situation when it comes up, but I suppose it's not something I should be all that worried about because I don't have control over any part of it but myself. I know that I wouldn't be being rude, only honest (if saying no) or just sincerely unaware (if I didn't realize), and be understanding of myself and know I have no responsibility for any other person. I can only take responsibility for myself and getting worked up over how other people could be reacting to my existence wouldn't do me any good.

(That's kind of a weird way of phrasing that, but whatever.)

13 hours ago, Thujaplicata said:

I'm glad the online schooling is working for you! I'll admit, I only had one quarter of college online and I struggled. But there are some advantages for sure.

Yeah, it's not great, but better to focus on the positives of it and just keep doing the best you can.

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Thujaplicata
5 hours ago, an~imperial~votress said:

I can only take responsibility for myself and getting worked up over how other people could be reacting to my existence wouldn't do me any good.

(That's kind of a weird way of phrasing that, but whatever.)

That is strange phrasing, but it resonates. Here I am, just living my life. It's not my problem if you think I'm attractive enough to warrant asking me out randomly.

I'm wearing clothes that please me, I'm friendly because I want to be, I'm smiling because it's sunny - none of it was ever intended to attract attention, especially not sexual attraction or whatever. Sure, that influences how others see me, and some of that will likely be in a sexual way. (Which still just...doesn't quite compute.) But I really hate the idea of changing how I present myself because of unwanted reactions. So yeah. It still worries me from time to time, but I mostly try to just be myself and deal with other people as they make themselves an issue.

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Red Sun Rises
14 hours ago, Tystie said:

Article in today’s Guardian newspaper: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/may/13/is-oral-sex-more-covid-safe-than-kissing-the-expert-guide-to-a-horny-healthy-summer

 

This starts with: 

“Hugs,” everybody keeps saying. “Who do you most want to hug on 17 May?” It’s an absurd act of prudishness. The real headline of next Monday is, of course, that this is the first day on which it will be legal (in England and most of Scotland, but not yet Wales or Northern Ireland) to have sex with a stranger since 22 March 2020. 

 

No. No! NO! I was looking forward to a hug. No prudishness. No euphemism. Just a hug. All clothes on. This article has ruined that for me.

OH MY GOD PEOPLE STOP IT.  Hugging is fine!  Hugging is great!  Please, allosexuals, staaaaahppppp!

 

Also, my Incredibly Ace Moment of the last few days was watching some movie or TV show and some characters having sex all of a sudden and I was like... "How do y'all know that you don't both have STDs?  Where are the blood tests?  Where is the doctor paperwork?  Condoms will only protect you so much!"

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On 5/13/2021 at 5:02 AM, Cowgirl_Kat said:
On 5/11/2021 at 6:36 AM, dhjunglejape said:

Someone had to explain to me what WAP was on Youtube.

I didn't what was until months after it was a big deal. 100% regret looking it up on YouTube and seeing the music video. 😳😬 On a positive note found the parody Well Armed Peasants soon after.

Somewhat ironically I love the song I randomly quote it all the time.

 

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On 5/13/2021 at 12:03 PM, Tystie said:

Article in today’s Guardian newspaper: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/may/13/is-oral-sex-more-covid-safe-than-kissing-the-expert-guide-to-a-horny-healthy-summer

 

No. No! NO! I was looking forward to a hug. No prudishness. No euphemism. Just a hug. All clothes on. This article has ruined that for me.

An update of sorts... Another article in the Guardian today (https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/may/14/hankering-for-a-hug-heres-a-guide-to-post-lockdown-greetings), and I’m delighted to say that this one doesn’t mention sex at all!

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I just hope shaking hands doesn't become expected practice again.

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AbbySaysHi

Ok so apparently prom is like known for people having sex? According to the tv show I watched anyway... I didn’t do that... I don’t think I know anyone who did that... I don’t wanna think about it. I guess my question is did anyone else know about this?

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