Incredibly Ace Moments

[Tystie]

6 hours ago, Slgold said:

Having a conversation with my mum about sex before marriage... (before I'd heard of the term asexual)

I said that, for me, I would be happy to share a double bed with someone before marriage, but personally I wouldn't feel comfortable having sex before marriage (or, to be honest, after it but I didn't say that).

I can’t remember her exact reply but she said that it would be too difficult for most couples to share a bed and not have sex and I genuinely couldn't fathom why that might be.

This reminds me of a conversation I once had with my sister-in-law. I was a final year university student, and somehow we got onto the subject of sex. Not sure how the topic came up, but I said my friend had her boyfriend stay over in her room and they weren’t having sex. Sister-in-law told me that they were lying if they said they weren’t.

 

I had no problem believing my friend.

[introvertedteacher]

On 4/1/2021 at 10:18 PM, WhoReallyCares said:

When I played the game of life with my family a couple years ago, I got to the marriage spot and I told them that I didn't want to get married. It was mandatory for you to get married when it said you have to. I put the wife in the back seat. And when it came to the space where you have kids, I did about the same thing.

 

Then somewhat after, my sister and I took our cars that had the kids and the married couple and made them fly in the air and ruin the game. The kids and the married couple fell out of the car. I think this was close to after when we got the kids. I think I just wanted to get rid of them all, I really made it clear to my family that I didn't want a wife or kids.  (Edit: as in inside the game.)

 

Has anybody wished they could just skip any of those spaces?

Yes actually. Playing the game sometimes I feel a little weird when it is time to get married because it reinforces that societal idea that it is a milestone all people should reach. It is not a choice in the game. 

[Acecream]

I only played the game a few times when I was in elementary school. So I don’t remember a lot, but actually back than I was totally convinced that being married and having children would be my way to live too and I had no problem to imagine this (now I have it). But I just thought this would be the normal way everybody goes and i didn’t connect it with falling in love or having a sexual relationship , I just thought this all would necessary happen one day

 

sometimes I think it’s funny that I am an aromantic asexual, bc when I was around the age of 11/12 a friend and me used to invent stories about our teachers which included very sexual plots.

(fun fact: while I am aroace, she is a very sexual person and every time we see each other (it’s not that often since we both study now in different places and have not that much in common) she only talks a lot about her relationships)

 

she was actually the first one I tried to talk to about my asexuality, but back then I wasn’t very confident about it and after I tried to explain that sexual interaction bores me, she just said something like „yeah sometimes it’s like this when you have no romantic feelings for the person“ and I didn’t speak on

[MoonSedai]

When I played Life, I almost never landed on the "you have a baby" spots. 

[AbbySaysHi]

22 hours ago, MoonSedai said:

When I played Life, I almost never landed on the "you have a baby" spots. 

True, but you always had to roll for how many babies you have at one of the “stop” spaces. 

[Zebrafinch]

Dream husband? Never existed. 

Dream boyfriend? Didn't last. 

Dream pets? Medium sized zoo.

[Nick2]

On 4/4/2021 at 11:49 PM, MoonSedai said:

When I played Life, I almost never landed on the "you have a baby" spots. 

Was there a 24 hour 7 days a week  day care spot to drop them off at?

[Nick2]

5 minutes ago, Nick2 said:

Was there a 24 hour 7 days a week  day care spot to drop them off at?

Or was it possible to "rent" some of your kids out to other players?

[AbbySaysHi]

10 hours ago, Zebrafinch said:

Dream husband? Never existed. 

Dream boyfriend? Didn't last. 

Dream pets? Medium sized zoo.

That’s such a mood. My dream involves a shed full of cats. 

[Bronztrooper]

On 4/4/2021 at 1:44 AM, Acecream said:

I only played the game a few times when I was in elementary school. So I don’t remember a lot, but actually back than I was totally convinced that being married and having children would be my way to live too and I had no problem to imagine this (now I have it). But I just thought this would be the normal way everybody goes and i didn’t connect it with falling in love or having a sexual relationship , I just thought this all would necessary happen one day

I felt the same way, and at times I'd try to imagine what the wedding would look like (due to my being athiest and not very big on big events, I tended to visualize smaller weddings away from churches), but while I could imagine almost every other detail, the one thing I simply couldn't visualize was what "my wife" would look like.  I would just imagine the standard wedding gown on a female-appearing body with no real detail to the body (and face) itself, which kind of concerned me because nearly everyone else around me knew the kind of person they wanted to end up with and it rarely included anything beyond physical appearance, while I was there with no idea what I wanted.  I also resigned myself to the unevitability that I'd have sex with my future partner and assumed I'd have the fabled "sexual awakening".  Once I learned about asexuality and figured out that I didn't have to get married (first the latter, then the former), all those assumptions just vanished.

 

As for the game, once my family played and my sister never got married while I did and had 3 kids- ironic, considering how she's engaged and I haven't slept with anyone

[AavaMeri]

Today, at an online tabletop roleplaying game, the game master (my friend) narrated a NPC talking about human nature: "In the end, beneath all our morals and virtues, we all have lizard brains that make us want to eat, kill, and procreate."

 

Guess what part made me go internally "ummmm"

 

More ace moments with "Stardew Valley", spoilers ahead:

 

Spoiler

The game gives you benefits if you marry someone, for example your spouse can tend crops and make meals. It bugged me when I browsed candidates and felt like "as much as you folks are cool, I really don't want to marry any of you because ugh". Then I found out that there is a way to get a room mate out of a specific NPC! The NPC doesn't offer quite all benefits, but still many of them. Also the roommate hugs you instead of kissing you in order to restore your energy.

 

[Acecream]

Cn drugs

 

 

 

i was trying to make a joint (I’m not good at it at all!) and didn’t manage it. So I said to my roommate: „please, just do it for me!“ and he was like: „no do you it, bc it’s very attractive, when woman are able to do so.“ me: „umm... yeah?“ him: „yes, when I would date you, I –“ me: „wait, I wouldn’t date you“ him: „yeah, I’m just saying, when you date...“ me: „but I wouldnt“ him: „yeah, alright, doesn’t matter if you would date me or not, but if I would date you – I mean, look at me as a standard of every man – I would find it totally attractive if you could twist a joint.“ me: „umm... yeah, if you say so...”

[MoonSedai]

On 4/6/2021 at 5:12 PM, Bronztrooper said:

I felt the same way, and at times I'd try to imagine what the wedding would look like....

I could go for HOURS about how horrible my family was at my wedding. By Family, I mean "Father and his wife" because that's who were horrible.  
I didn't even want a wedding, I wanted to run off to Vegas or the courthouse or something. We did the wedding so my hubby could have a big day. Like my prom, I still wish I'd gone with my gut. 
 

[jkmlynch]

This occurred long ago, back when I was still trying to be heterosexual. In fairness, I had never heard of asexuality, and I was not attracted to guys, so attempting to be heterosexual made sense...I guess. I am beginning to ramble. That happens with age. Just tell me to get on with it if I meander too far off topic, like I am right now.

 

So... My mates decided to take me to a strip club for my twenty-first birthday. I had never been to such an establishment and had no desire to go to one. But we first stopped at a pub where I imbibed twenty-one shots. By that point I was ready for anything. Or so I thought. My mates told me to bring a wad of one dollar bills to the club. I did not understand why I needed to do so, but I exchanged a couple twenties at the pub anyway. Once we arrived at the club, a woman, clad in undergarments that left nothing to the imagination, began to dance on the table in front of me. Her dance bored me. My eyes wandered, and I began to scrutinize the other patrons in the establishment. All of who were blokes who seemed disturbingly interested in the menagerie of women performing on the various circular stages. Imagine not eating for a week and then being surrounded by your favorite food. That was the impression the other patrons imparted onto me. The woman in front of me grabbed my hand and placed it on her breasts. My shock sobered me up. I did not want my hand on her breasts. Nor did I wish to be rude, so I let her guide my hand over her body. It was awkward for me. I imagine she must have felt the same since the other patrons appeared to enjoy touching the performers whereas I continued to look around the club. The song ended, and the young woman released my hand. I held my wad of forty dollar bills toward her. "Don't you want to put it in my thong?" she asked me. My response: "Not really." She took the money, and moved on. I spent the rest of the evening at the bar, quite content to further my inebriation as my mates watched the dancing women. I woke up beside a parking meter the next morning. Not sure how I got there, but that part of the story appealed to me more than the strip club.

[Aloney]

On 4/8/2021 at 1:19 AM, AavaMeri said:

Spoiler

The game gives you benefits if you marry someone, for example your spouse can tend crops and make meals. It bugged me when I browsed candidates and felt like "as much as you folks are cool, I really don't want to marry any of you because ugh". Then I found out that there is a way to get a room mate out of a specific NPC! The NPC doesn't offer quite all benefits, but still many of them. Also the roommate hugs you instead of kissing you in order to restore your energy.

 

Wait! Is this true!  I had no idea! And all the while I've just been marrying the villagers in my different safe files! I mean I like to experience all that a game has to offer so I've had the character marry different people and have kids in a couple of files, too, but, egh. The kids in Stardew are creepy to me 😅 And I like that the new updates have made it possible to get rid of the crib in the kids' room without erasing the room itself, it's much better as an aquarium room, anyway! :'D And in my current safe, I barely even see my wife anyway, since I mostly live at the tropical islands 😅

[jkmlynch]

4 minutes ago, Aloney said:

Wait! Is this true

Yep. It is not an obvious character.

Spoiler

Visit the sewers and befriend Krobus.

 

[Aloney]

On 3/31/2021 at 2:08 PM, AbbySaysHi said:

bonus: I literally started crying during “the talk” because I don’t understand why people would want to do that. 

Haha, well, I don't even really remember if my parents gave me the talk, or if I heard the specifics at health and bio class. All that I know is that I've been somehow educated about procreation, the risks, and contraceptive options. During the time, I guess I just thought "Huh. I guess that's another human function", and never drew the conclusion I would be expected to do it 😅 I don't remember giving any thought to sex as a concept in any way pertaining to myself, until I was maybe around nineteen? And even then I was just very confused :'D I've always felt like a complete alien about things relating to sex and things that people call "erotic", since there's a huge disconnect in my mind about those things and they just don't raise any kind of emotion in me? In theory, I understand having sex would typically be an activity that brings a couple closer to each other and builds togetherness or something like that, but in reality? I have a really hard time connecting the motions to any kind of emotion they're supposed to awaken 😅

 

On the other hand, talks that did make me cry: "So, periods are a thing and they're going to start for you soon" and "You're now in the age to start wearing bras". I was so distraught about periods and that I would have to deal with that for like forty years! 😂 

[Yellow Boots]

So I've only just come to realise I am asexual but it's got me thinking about past interactions with people. I'm heteromantic and one time, during my university years, I liked a male friend of mine and we got terribly drunk at a party. I figured out about half-way through the night that he might like me back. We were always friendly with each other in the past but that evening I noticed that he would single me out and try to talk to me alone in the quiet corners of the party. So, because I had this crush on him I was very pleased. So skip forward to the end of the party and a female friend of mine says we can all crash at her house because her family isn't home and there will be enough beds to hold the 5 people who would be staying over. This conniving friend of mine arranged it so that me and this guy would be sharing a double bed in a bedroom separated far away from all the others. I didn't even think about it. We just got in the bed, lay side by side without touching and went to sleep.

 

In the morning, that female friend pulled me aside and asked me if anything had happened. Her surprise when I just gave her a confused 'no?'. She was aware that we liked each other but couldn't understand why we wouldn't immediately want to have sex.

 

And then I went on a date with that guy but on the second date he asked if he could spend the night at my house. Again, without even thinking about it, I made up the spare bed for him. (WHICH NOW, 6 YEARS ON, REALLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN A SIGN FOR ME!). We never went on a third date. 

[lemon_lime]

1 hour ago, Aloney said:

 In theory, I understand having sex would typically be an activity that brings a couple closer to each other and builds togetherness or something like that, but in reality? I have a really hard time connecting the motions to any kind of emotion they're supposed to awaken  

I really relate to this. I know that sex is supposed to be good for our relationship and my friends talk about how their relationship with their husband has been great lately and they’ve been having more sex or something and I just don’t get it. My husband is attracted to me and when he wants to have sex I should feel flattered but it just makes me feel used. I know that’s not why! I know he loves me! But I have a really hard time understanding how love = sex. 

[jkmlynch]

1 hour ago, Aloney said:

I don't remember giving any thought to sex as a concept in any way pertaining to myself, until I was maybe around nineteen

I can relate to that. In high school, I usually hung out with women more than I did with men because they did not talk about sex as much (at least around me) so I felt more comfortable being around them... Until one of my friends started to exhibit signs of romantic interest in me. She liked to walk arm in arm through the hallways at school. That was...I hate to use the word awkward because she enjoyed it, but that is how I felt. Then her mom began to urge her to dump her boyfriend for me... Yeah, try explaining that you just want to be mates to a woman and to her mom when you did not understand who you are/were. Fun times, I assure you.

[jkmlynch]

1 hour ago, Yellow Boots said:

And then I went on a date with that guy but on the second date he asked if he could spend the night at my house. Again, without even thinking about it, I made up the spare bed for him.

That is fantastic. My apartment was known throughout campus as the party place back in college. And for a good reason: We excelled at having a good time. I am talking Doctorate level stuff here. Our best party by far was when we set up a bunch of black lights and told everyone to wear a white t-shirt. As people came in, we handed each of them a highlighter marker. Folk had such a good time writing on everyone's shirts that they did not drink much. My roommates and I ended up with several weeks worth of free beer. Our parties were so well know that people I had never met would approach me to ask when the next shindig was to occur.

 

But I am rambling. Let me get on with it. Every so often some woman would become too drunk to drive home. I would let her spend the night in my bed while I slept on the floor. Several of these women invited me to join them in the bed. I was always fine with the floor. My roommates thought I was a heterosexual god. Nothing I said would dissuade them of that notion.

[AbbySaysHi]

3 hours ago, Aloney said:

Haha, well, I don't even really remember if my parents gave me the talk, or if I heard the specifics at health and bio class. All that I know is that I've been somehow educated about procreation, the risks, and contraceptive options. During the time, I guess I just thought "Huh. I guess that's another human function", and never drew the conclusion I would be expected to do it 😅 I don't remember giving any thought to sex as a concept in any way pertaining to myself, until I was maybe around nineteen? And even then I was just very confused :'D I've always felt like a complete alien about things relating to sex and things that people call "erotic", since there's a huge disconnect in my mind about those things and they just don't raise any kind of emotion in me? In theory, I understand having sex would typically be an activity that brings a couple closer to each other and builds togetherness or something like that, but in reality? I have a really hard time connecting the motions to any kind of emotion they're supposed to awaken 😅

 

On the other hand, talks that did make me cry: "So, periods are a thing and they're going to start for you soon" and "You're now in the age to start wearing bras". I was so distraught about periods and that I would have to deal with that for like forty years! 😂 

I’ll be honest I didn’t get any specifics about what it actually was and it was my grandma like don’t ever give your body to someone who you don’t want to and I was like uh why would I ever do that. 

[Zagadka]

My mom found out that the school was going to do sex ed and pre-empted them by renting a VHS from the library to educate us before they did. All I remember was that it featured a cartoon of a couple under a blanket on a bed... not that the school did a much better job. I think I found out most about sex and anatomy from the internet in like 1994.

[mercaesan]

11 hours ago, Zagadka said:

My mom found out that the school was going to do sex ed and pre-empted them by renting a VHS from the library to educate us before they did

My mom gave me a book that taught sex ed and puberty and stuff, and was basically like, "Let me know if you have any questions."

[will123]

3 hours ago, mercaesan said:

My mom gave me a book that taught sex ed and puberty and stuff, and was basically like, "Let me know if you have any questions."

I never got 'the talk', maybe they figured it would be falling on deaf ears.

[lemon_lime]

4 hours ago, mercaesan said:

My mom gave me a book that taught sex ed and puberty and stuff, and was basically like, "Let me know if you have any questions."

Was that a good method to do it or bad? 😅 Cuz I have kids and I’d love if it were that easy. 

[AbbySaysHi]

1 hour ago, lemon_lime said:

Was that a good method to do it or bad? 😅 Cuz I have kids and I’d love if it were that easy. 

I got the book too, but like to this day I still don’t understand lot of stuff. So it wasn’t a good method for me because I didn’t exactly wanna ask those questions when I wasn’t clear on it. 

[mercaesan]

2 hours ago, lemon_lime said:

Was that a good method to do it or bad? 😅 Cuz I have kids and I’d love if it were that easy.

It worked for me, I read it through like three times and didn't have to have any awkward conversations! But I guess I also wasn't close to a typical teenager.

[Nick2]

9 hours ago, mercaesan said:

My mom gave me a book that taught sex ed and puberty and stuff, and was basically like, "Let me know if you have any questions."

Was it pass/ fail?

[BunchOBees]

My sister was 8 and I was 11 or something close to that, and she heard the word ‘sexy’ on tv. She asked what it meant and I said “Like pretty or attractive but in an inappropriate way, so don’t use that word.” I still stand by that definition.