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Incredibly Ace Moments


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2 minutes ago, Acing It said:

A ledge would be enough? Creates a lot of extra space in any room!

You'd be right at home here then πŸ˜„ 31b322_c6855f5fee734a2bbe27ff7393ebe180~

I can't imagine carrying an overnight kit rock climbing, let alone that thing instead of relying on a natural ledge.

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Just now, FreeWalker said:

I can't imagine carrying an overnight kit rock climbing, let alone that thing instead of relying on a natural ledge.

Having done some climbing, you normally never know for sure how far you end up so it's important to be prepared. As for the bed, I'm sure it's Ikea style πŸ™‚ They'd better not drop their allen key! I remember some people using those that just look like a reinforced sleeping bag you crawl into. It feels slightly safer but really isn't! You really have to trust your gear and skills 100%.

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6 minutes ago, Acing It said:

Having done some climbing, you normally never know for sure how far you end up so it's important to be prepared. As for the bed, I'm sure it's Ikea style πŸ™‚ They'd better not drop their allen key! I remember some people using those that just look like a reinforced sleeping bag you crawl into. It feels slightly safer but really isn't! You really have to trust your gear and skills 100%.

The extra weight and bulk though...I don't see anything but pinchers, there's that overhang above them, and *shudders*. Ha, dropping the key. 😁

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Janus the Fox

Nahhh.... thanks for sleeping like in the pic lol.

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Yesterday my sister told this story, that I had completely forgotten about.

When I was about 11, my family and I went on holiday to Paris. While we were there, we went to Montmartre to see the Moulin Rouge, becauseΒ Moulin Rouge!Β is one of my mum’s favourite films ever. The problem was that the Moulin Rouge is in a fairly red-light district, and walking around it you couldn’t help but see a lot of adult shops. After a while of going past these establishments, I innocently asked β€˜Why would pants need to be edible?’ I guess I assumed they were in the same category as novelty chocolates - that they were simply that shape for the sake of being interesting. Looking back,Β I probably could have asked some even worse questions judging by what those shops sold.

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It just occurred to me being ace is probably a significant portion of my being utterly baffled by celebrity crushes.

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41 minutes ago, FreeWalker said:

It just occurred to me being ace is probably a significant portion of my being utterly baffled by celebrity crushes.

I'm just baffled as to why it's so important to know who a lot of these people are. Am I supposed to care that Chrissy Tiegen shut down her Twitter account? I have heard of her but I have no idea what her vocation is, I don't think she's a singer or actress.

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2 minutes ago, will123 said:

I'm just baffled as to why it's so important to know who a lot of these people are. Am I supposed to care that Chrissy Tiegen shut down her Twitter account? I have heard of her but I have no idea what her vocation is, I don't think she's a singer or actress.

Ohmygahd sheΒ what?Β Chrissy Tiegen is a...Chrissy Teigen is a model, TV talking head, and entrepreneur who got popular a decade ago for looking ok in a swimsuit and...and appears to have recently dyed their hair silver, and it usually has a tight curl/crimp to it. I didn't look that up.

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cloudcarrot
1 hour ago, FreeWalker said:

It just occurred to me being ace is probably a significant portion of my being utterly baffled by celebrity crushes.

the amount of times people around me that have shown me a celebrity who they find attractive and gone omg theyre so hot etc, and i just didnt understand why they would think that way shouldve made me realise i was aro ace a lot sooner

i reckon all my close friends and family shouldve figured that one out sooner as well, theres been so many hints

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7 minutes ago, cloudcarrot said:

shouldve made me realise i was aro ace a lot sooner

Yeah, I feel that one. I just chalked it up to "well, it's not like I'd ever meet this person, and if I did they'd be out of my league" whenever I was expected to have a name in my pocket. Don't really have an excuse for other signs though. πŸ˜„

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I remember Kate Beckinsale catching my eye...

Β 

:ph34r:

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Dr. F Roy Dean Schlippe

When I was...I dunno, young-ish, (before I knew I was ace)Β my parents would tell me to cover my eyes whenever a "sexy" scene came on, and I did without fuss. Β Now I'm an adult who doesn't cover her eyes at "sexy" scenes,Β and it looks as weird now as is sounded back then. Sexy scenes are just plain weird.

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WhoReallyCares
3 hours ago, FreeWalker said:

It just occurred to me being ace is probably a significant portion of my being utterly baffled by celebrity crushes.

Tell me about it!

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WhoReallyCares
3 hours ago, FreeWalker said:

It just occurred to me being ace is probably a significant portion of my being utterly baffled by celebrity crushes.

Tell me about it!

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3 hours ago, will123 said:

I have heard of her but I have no idea what her vocation is

Same. But then her name reminds me of Cheryl Tiegs.

Β 

1 hour ago, will123 said:

I remember Kate Beckinsale catching my eye...

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:ph34r:

same, too. :)Β 

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2 minutes ago, daveb said:

Same. But then her name reminds me of Cheryl Tiegs.

Β 

same, too. :)Β 

Great ace minds think alike? Mind you her three big movies at the time were when I still thought I was straight.

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4 minutes ago, will123 said:

Mind you her three big movies at the time were when I still thought I was straight.

Ms Tiegs? I didn't even know she made any movies until looking her up just now. :PΒ 

Β 

Or Ms Beckinsale? I've only seen a couple of her movies.

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2 minutes ago, daveb said:

Ms Tiegs? I didn't even know she made any movies until looking her up just now. :PΒ 

(sorry I didn't edit what I was quoting) No Kate! LOL

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10 hours ago, will123 said:

No Kate! LOL

Ah

I rememberΒ watching Cold Comfort Farm (kind of weird and quirky), Serendipity (rom com, which I enjoyed because of her (and John Cusack)). Didn't remember her being in The AviatorΒ (but it's been a while since I saw that and DiCaprio was a big presence in it).

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Autumn Season

A friend tried to kiss me, which I evaded. Later we had a conversation about wtf is our relationship. They confessed their feelings to me, I thanked them. I brought up that they know I have a partner. They said they weren't sure whether we were "really" together, since it is long distance, thus not physical. I reassured them that my feelings for my partner are romantic. Since they were so open and vulnerable, I also found it fair to out myself as ace. They weren't too surprised, but they asked me "why" I was ace. Whether I am afraid or have had bad experiences. I explained that I tried out everything I wanted to try and didn't try what I didn't want to and I want to keep it this way. The conversation was okay, but it felt a bit like the friend was being disrespectful towards my relationship, about how well I know myself and how honest I am.Β 

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cloudcarrot
1 hour ago, Autumn Season said:

they asked me "why" I was ace. Whether I am afraid or have had bad experiences.

oof, thats rough. ace people don't really get as much outright abuse for our sexuality like others do, but we get way more invalidation and the feeling that there's something wrong with us (like past trauma or a hormonal imbalance, which is just not true)

like come on, its 2021 already, you closed minded fools!

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I have a good one from recently.

Β 

I was with my roommate and we saw a guy who lives in our complex.

Β 

Me: Oh he looks like [local celebrity].

Roomates: *shocked laughter*

Me: Oh no! That wasn't really a compliment....

Roommates: *even more laughter*

Me: ....Or an insult!!! It was just an observationπŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ

Β 

I later came out to one of my roomates as ace and she said "yeah, that makes sense".

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On 3/18/2021 at 5:00 PM, Black Tourmaline said:

my mom walks into my apt while i'm watching "Lovely2" MV's. she's all like "these girls are like 12!" and i'm like "i know right? they are so talented!"
later on i realize maybe she thinks i'm sexually attracted to 12 year old girls. 😡 i should really just come out to her already.

15 hours ago, cloudcarrot said:

the amount of times people around me that have shown me a celebrity who they find attractive and gone omg theyre so hot etc, and i just didnt understand why they would think that way shouldve made me realise i was aro ace a lot sooner

i reckon all my close friends and family shouldve figured that one out sooner as well, theres been so many hints

This possibly feeds into my first story. Getting into kpop recently I keep forgetting that most people are genuinely attracted to the members of these groups. It's either oversexualisation or infantilisation and both are reallyannoying. I just think they're amazing performers.

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Also the fact that liking a celebrity/artist means you think they're attractive especially if that's supposed to be their selling point when that couldn't be further from the case for me. I never understood (and still don't understand) why would you want to actively follow anyone just because they look good.

Β 

Β 

On 3/19/2021 at 10:35 PM, WinterAce said:

My friends were speaking about boy and girl problems, I was just there listening and I never really wanted to get into the conversation since I never knew what they truly meant. They then said something about a problem where two people of the same friendship group both had a crush to this one person and I couldn't relate at all. The conversation moved onto what everyones sexual crushes was and I have not came out to all of the people in the group but one of my friends (who knows I'm ace) helped to steer the conversation away from it coming towards my time to answer.Β 

Your friend is a legend.

Β 

On 3/22/2021 at 6:14 PM, Blue Eyes White Dragon said:

I was taking intro to psych last semester and we were talking about motivation and the drive reduction theory. It mentioned that sex is a primary drive. I remember thinking "it is?? I seem to be missing that one, is something wrong with me?" This was before I found out I was ace lol

I don't know what it was about reading this that made me feel so seen. One of those moments when I remember why I love coming back to this website.

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On 3/25/2021 at 4:44 PM, will123 said:

I wonder if non-hetero and/or gender conforming folks are more apt to understand us being asexual? That being said all the people I'm out to are straight but only one has any familial connection to the LGBT+ community (her niece is a lesbian). (I hope I didn't phrase that wrong).

Well I do have a group of friends that's mostly queer, so somehow because it was already within the group's 'culture' it's something they just took on as new infoΒ and barely questioned me about it. In other cases I take a gamble with whoever I suspect may also be queer (my queer-dar tends to be pretty good it seems).Β Anyone else I've come out to I made sure I knew they were relatively progressive enough to take for my word that I'm ace, that they knew it was a queer identity and as an ally they'd know better than to dig deeper than they should. The last subset is people I just vaguely tell 'I'm not interested in relationships right now, and I might never be' and they will often be the ones to 'but you won't know until you try'

Β 

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cloudcarrot
1 hour ago, Cee Fox said:

I wonder if non-hetero and/or gender conforming folks are more apt to understand us being asexual?

definitely! the majority of my friends are a part of the LGBTQ+ community in one way or another, and were super accepting and supportive when i came out to them. as i knew they would be like this, i found it extremely easy to come out as i was sure they would make me feel valid and welcomed.Β 

Β 

on the other hand, my mum told me i was too young to know, i shouldnt put a label on myself and i should keep an open mind (shes one to talk). i tried to convince her otherwise and that i wasnt going through a phase that i would grow out of, but she wouldnt have any of it. shes cis het, and so is less understanding of this type of thing i guess? not having had to question orientation and/or gender is super easy, and sometimes those who dont have to go through that process simply dont understand how damaging that sort of an attitude can be.

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theres also a generational thing to keep in mind - generally younger people will be more accepting of different orientations and genders, but older people wont as they grew up in a society that shunned people who werent conforming to their rules.

my grandma, when she found out my brother had a girlfriend, said 'oh! so youre normal then' which was just so awful (she had no idea that it was not something you should say), and we were both cringing like we had just eaten a whole lemon

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coming out to friends and peers i found much easier, and am completely open about it in their company, but have only talked about it with my family on 3 occasions, 1 on 1. still havent got the guts to have the conversation as a 4. i definitely recommend coming out to friends first (disclaimer of sorts, it might not be for everyone), to kindaΒ test the waters, and have a most likely more understanding audience.

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Of the eight or so friends that I've come out to, the only 'negative' (well kind of) comment was in relation to my disclosure that I was still a virgin at 57. The second of the two guys that I've told responded, "I thought you and Cathy..." I cut him off. "No! Contrary to popular belief, we've never slept together."Β "Oh", he said bewildered.Β 

Β 

Cathy is a woman that I've known since my teens (and still in contact with). In our 20s we hung out together and a lot of people thought we were 'an item' which we definitely were not. I'm sure he was thinking, "How could he not had sex with her?"

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My dream as a middle schoolerΒ was to literally be a crazy cat lady (have cats and make pancakes was my dream)

Β 

bonus: IΒ literally startedΒ crying during β€œthe talk” because I don’t understand why people would want to do that.Β 

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17 hours ago, AbbySaysHi said:

My dream as a middle schoolerΒ was to literally be a crazy cat lady (have cats and make pancakes was my dream)

I was the same!Β  That'sΒ what I'd always say whenever my friends started talking about "when we're all grown up and married..."Β :P

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6 hours ago, iyote said:

I was the same!Β  That'sΒ what I'd always say whenever my friends started talking about "when we're all grown up and married..."Β :P

it got to the point where one time my friends asked me who I liked and I said literally just my catΒ 

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WhoReallyCares

When I played the game of life with my family a couple years ago, I got to the marriage spot and I told them that I didn't want to get married. It was mandatory for you to get married when it said you have to. I put the wife in the back seat. And when it came to the space where you have kids, I did about the same thing.

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Then somewhat after, my sister and I took our cars that had the kids and the married couple and made them fly in the air and ruin the game. The kids and the married couple fell out of the car. I think this was close to after when we got the kids. I think I just wanted to get rid of them all, IΒ really made it clear to my family that I didn't want a wife or kids.Β  (Edit: as in inside the game.)

Β 

Has anybody wished they could just skip any of those spaces?

Edited by WhoReallyCares
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Having a conversation with my mum about sex before marriage... (before I'd heard of the term asexual)

I said that, for me, I would be happy to share a double bed with someone before marriage, but personally I wouldn't feel comfortable having sex before marriage (or, to be honest, after it but I didn't say that).

I can’t remember her exact reply but she said that it would be too difficult for most couples to share a bed and not have sex and I genuinely couldn't fathom why that might be.

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