Incredibly Ace Moments

[Pomelord.]

I had this boyfriend about a year ago before I realized that I was probably asexual. Since he was the total opposite of asexual, it didn't work out. Who would've thought?

At any rate, we were watching this movie together and some sort of shape-shifting guy, trim, in his forties, stands on a cliff, naked, chewing on a bloody animal heart he'd ripped out before. I laughed out loud, causing my boyfriend to look at me strangely and asking what that was about.

To which I more or less answered: Well, there's this guy, and it's obvious the movie is trying to make him look powerful and male and, you know, grand – but he's just awkwardly waddling around naked on a very cold Skandinavian cliff. It's hilarious.

I still think I kind of offended him with that answer. I also still think that naked men on cliffs don't look very powerful. A suit might be the better choice :-D

 

I also went into my parents' room when I was a kid, looking for a movie since my mother kept some of them there. I spotted quite a few more high up on a shelf in their wardrobe which was usually closed.
Me (delighted): Oh, I didn't know you had more movies up there! (Ready to look at the titles)

My mom (awkward): Yes, well, you'll have to ask your father what those are about.

*Awkward pause*

*Understanding occurs: My father watches porn*

*Internal meltdown*

*Fleeing the scene after mumbling some sort of answer*

[Pomelord.]

Oh, also during my puberty, I continued hugging my father regularly and with great pleasure (I love hugging); until he one day told me that "At first, I was worried you didn't stop hugging me when puberty hit. But now I just accept it as part of you."

I was seriously hurt since I just couldn't understand what could be wrong about showing affection to my father and how it could be worrisome that I did. I left disturbed, feeling like I'd gifted someone with affection and been emotionally slapped for it.

[Aiv]

On 12/18/2020 at 7:57 AM, SocialMorays said:

Apparently there are urban legends about shoe size correlating with dick size too.

 

People are strange.

Once, I was telling my mom about this Norse myth about the goddess Skade choosing a husband from among the Aesir, and how wacky it was that she was only able to see their feet when she was picking them. And of course this is what she comes up with. I had never heard of this before and was completely disgusted. . .

And it's a little sad because I like Skade a lot and generally catch myself thinking she's aroace. The husband she ends up picking she doesn't get along very well with (Wow! Such a surprise! Of course picking a partner by their feet would work out perfectly!), and they live in different houses and are essentially just friends; also she is a hunter goddess like Artemis.

[Morays]

3 minutes ago, an~imperial~votress said:

(Wow! Such a surprise! Of course picking a partner by their feet would work out perfectly!)

Yeah, I'll bet things worked out great for Cinderella too.

[Wholock314]

20 hours ago, SocialMorays said:

Yeah, I'll bet things worked out great for Cinderella too.

Well in the older set of Cinderella stories (I won’t say original since it’s one of the oldest stories and has a many historical and cultural influences) their marriage didn’t work out so well, in some versions the stepsisters (one or both) are living in the castle and may or may not sabotage it, in some it’s their own doing, sometimes the step mother gets involved, in a few the step mother remarries (I think to a noble, but I’m not certain) and wants special treatment, and so on. A prime example of why you can marry someone for looks or something equally external and trivial. Aesthetics might be the reason you choose to say ‘hi’ the first time, but after that it should be down to the individual and their personality - that’s just my opinion though. Feel free to disagree. 

[Morays]

7 hours ago, Wholock314 said:

Well in the older set of Cinderella stories (I won’t say original since it’s one of the oldest stories and has a many historical and cultural influences) their marriage didn’t work out so well, in some versions the stepsisters (one or both) are living in the castle and may or may not sabotage it, in some it’s their own doing, sometimes the step mother gets involved, in a few the step mother remarries (I think to a noble, but I’m not certain) and wants special treatment, and so on. A prime example of why you can marry someone for looks or something equally external and trivial. Aesthetics might be the reason you choose to say ‘hi’ the first time, but after that it should be down to the individual and their personality - that’s just my opinion though. Feel free to disagree. 

I don't disagree at all -- my post was completely sarcastic.

 

That being said, I didn't know that there were earlier versions of the story that involved their marriage unraveling -- that's quite fascinating!

[Wholock314]

4 hours ago, SocialMorays said:

I don't disagree at all -- my post was completely sarcastic.

 

That being said, I didn't know that there were earlier versions of the story that involved their marriage unraveling -- that's quite fascinating!

Oh I didn’t miss the sarcasm, I just get REALLY excited about myths/legends/fairy tales, and since I didn’t have the chance to respond to the latter portion of the earlier Artemis/mythology discussion I jumped (in an unnecessary amount of detail) on Cinderella. Sorry if you felt like I missed the intention of your response. ✌️
 

And yeah, the old set of fairy tales are very twisted and very interesting. Basically Grimm and earlier are the ‘fun’ ones, and almost every culture has some version of ‘the Cinderella story’ a fact which I find most intriguing. 

[Barbio]

Oh, to be an aroace individual reading/listening to George Orwell's classic "1984" for the first time, not entirely sure what I was getting myself into at first...

 

(Gonna hide the rest of my post under a spoiler tag for those of you who are unfamiliar with the story, which I don't recommend if you're especially sensitive to old-fashioned ideas about human sexuality)

Spoiler

I haven't finished the story yet, but I just got to the part where the "black-haired woman" reveals her true identity & expresses her affection for Winston... and even though I was kind of expecting a plot twist like this, is it wrong that my heart was secretly wishing that she'd turn out to be this epic asexual "bad" guy who would kick Winston's butt? Seriously, putting all politics aside, that guy is a creep. Why would you want a guy who openly admits that he wanted to rape/murder you?!? Ugggggh I can't believe this freak is the "protagonist". (Again, I don't know what comes next, but that's just my impression so far.)

 

On a side note: can I join the Anti-Sex League instead?

 

[will123]

Back in '84 I borrowed the book from a co-worker. I had heard of the book in the past and leading up to 1984, there was a bit of chatter on TV and in the print media about it. To be honest with you, I remember very little about the book other than there were various ministries that ran things.

[WhoReallyCares]

When I was in middle school, I never had a sex ed class, but the closest thing to it was a section in health class. We were put into 2 separate rooms decided by your gender. I was forced to learn about the female reproductive organs. I told the teacher and the other students it was disgusting (And I don't even remember if I even knew what sex was at all at this point. Nobody seemed to care at all but me. I didn't know why they were teaching me these things. I had to do HOMEWORK

on it which was incredibly gross, they even had PICTURES (that were drawings in a book) I rushed the assignment so I wouldn't have to deal with it later. I only remembered that and the dangers of smoking, they probably tried to teach me other things, but I only remember those two.

 

I'm currently trying to go in the direction of some sort of stem career in the future, but to do that, I need to take certain classes, including health. What they previously tried to teach me will probably come back and hit me. I don't need nor want to know these things. If this ever comes up on a test, it might be the only thing that I won't do the work on if it gets too much for me. Just some food for thought.

 

Does anybody else have any situations like this?

[will123]

@WhoReallyCares Welcome to AVEN!  is a tradition here. My sex ed (in health) was back in the 70s. I don't recall any 'assignments'. At that time of my life, I thought I was straight, so I did take some interest in the subject.

[Robin29]

@WhoReallyCares depending on what parts gross you out, there's methods of dealing.

 

The topics covered in your middle school probably focused on what a terrible idea sex etc would be at that age, and the consequences.

 

The subject presentation changes as you and your classmates mature, you will find the class for young adults handles it in a different manner. 

 

I took the stance of alien learning about the reproduction process of the human race, putting distance between myself and the subject.

 

You might find reading up on the subject to be easier than finding these things out in a classroom setting. Then you can control your reactions, take breaks as you need to, don't have to worry about people watching you, and if forced to attend the class you can zone out while already knowing what you need.

 

It's like steeling yourself to do something horrible, you grit your teeth and get it done so you never have to cover the subject again.

[SkyWorld]

Me: "What's a cam girl? Is that like... a photographer?"

[PermianElle]

14 hours ago, SkyWorld said:

Me: "What's a cam girl? Is that like... a photographer?"

'You pay money for pictures of this person and to watch them do sexual things, but what are you getting out of it?'

[will123]

6 minutes ago, PermianElle said:

'You pay money for pictures of this person and to watch them do sexual things, but what are you getting out of it?'

I'm sure some people would use the content for 'arousal purposes'...

[Morays]

1 hour ago, will123 said:

I'm sure some people would use the content for 'arousal purposes'...

I'm not sure what other purposes one might use it for, aside from figure drawing reference.

 

(Which is of course where my mind goes. 😋)

[Barbio]

On 12/28/2020 at 11:29 PM, will123 said:

Back in '84 I borrowed the book from a co-worker. I had heard of the book in the past and leading up to 1984, there was a bit of chatter on TV and in the print media about it. To be honest with you, I remember very little about the book other than there were various ministries that ran things.

Yep, and there's also a very strict culture of "sex is bad and should not be enjoyed; you are only to use it to produce offspring", and the main character essentially believes that sex is a universal instinct and anyone who claims not to enjoy it is just a mindless slave to the system. He's also a misogynistic creep who fantasizes about raping & killing women, even though he's supposed to be the "good guy". I don't mean to endorse communism, but... grr, I just want all the bad things to happen to this jerk. lol

[Aiv]

On 12/28/2020 at 7:12 PM, Wholock314 said:

Oh I didn’t miss the sarcasm, I just get REALLY excited about myths/legends/fairy tales, and since I didn’t have the chance to respond to the latter portion of the earlier Artemis/mythology discussion I jumped (in an unnecessary amount of detail) on Cinderella. Sorry if you felt like I missed the intention of your response. ✌️
 

And yeah, the old set of fairy tales are very twisted and very interesting. Basically Grimm and earlier are the ‘fun’ ones, and almost every culture has some version of ‘the Cinderella story’ a fact which I find most intriguing. 

I love mythology and fairy tales, this was fascinating to hear about! I've read several variants of the Cinderella story where the stepmother and sister visit the queen right after her child is born, then completely take control, replacing the true queen with her stepsister and killing her. The king is not allowed to see her (the stepmother says she is sick) but due to visits from her ghost realizes what is going on. Then by doing what the ghost says, she is returned to life and the stepmother and sister are punished, and all returns to "happily ever after."

[Wholock314]

17 hours ago, an~imperial~votress said:

I love mythology and fairy tales, this was fascinating to hear about! I've read several variants of the Cinderella story where the stepmother and sister visit the queen right after her child is born, then completely take control, replacing the true queen with her stepsister and killing her. The king is not allowed to see her (the stepmother says she is sick) but due to visits from her ghost realizes what is going on. Then by doing what the ghost says, she is returned to life and the stepmother and sister are punished, and all returns to "happily ever after."

Interesting, I’ve read a few versions similar to what you’ve mentioned but without the “happily ever after” ending. Frankly I think that part defeats the purpose of that version of the tale, but then I didn’t write the story so who am I to judge. Lol

[~Nadia~]

On 12/20/2020 at 9:17 PM, PermianElle said:

And I could never understand how the teens moms in my high school got pregnant in the first place. I thought it was super easy to not have sex. People have assured me that it's easy to get carried away and not a character flaw. I was relieved to learn my school want full of people without self-control, then horrified to learn that was normal.

I still don't understand teen pregnancy stuff!! 😅

[Vemmaren]

I had a moment today watching football at my parents where my dad scoffed at one of those sex sells kind of commercials and I was confused because normally he is into them, but then I realized that the commercial was showing good looking men and my dad is straight. 

 

So I basically had a split second moment where I forgot about other orientations, like all sexual people were the same.

[Meowmocha]

On 12/31/2020 at 12:43 PM, Barbio said:

Yep, and there's also a very strict culture of "sex is bad and should not be enjoyed; you are only to use it to produce offspring", and the main character essentially believes that sex is a universal instinct and anyone who claims not to enjoy it is just a mindless slave to the system. He's also a misogynistic creep who fantasizes about raping & killing women, even though he's supposed to be the "good guy". I don't mean to endorse communism, but... grr, I just want all the bad things to happen to this jerk. lol

I had to read '1984' in school. I don't remember him fantasizing about murder or sexual assault, but I recall finding the characters and the story utterly uninteresting. I didn't care about the main character or his life, or about the relationship between him and the woman, or anything. And it seemed like the relationship was largely founded on a mutual sense of rebellion. And probably lust, too.
Hmm, come to think of it, I do have a dim memory of him hating the woman when he initially met her, because of her celibacy sash or assumed 'purity' attitude or something. Maybe I've forgotten some of the finer details of that, and that's why I don't recall his violent thoughts. It's been several years since I read that book.

[Aiv]

18 hours ago, ~Nadia~ said:

I still don't understand teen pregnancy stuff!! 😅

Once I think it was two years ago I was waiting at school for my mom to pick me up, when this teacher I had never met before began talking to me. I turned out she taught a class to help teen parents, with parenting and keeping up with schoolwork. When she told me this she started up with this speech about how I'm a 'nice girl,' and if a boy who did 'nice things for me' asked me to do something, I shouldn't. I felt extremely bewildered by this for a number of reasons. I wondered, is that really why teen girls get pregnant, because a boy was nice to them and then wanted 'something' from them? Sounded like a stupid reason to me. I also wondered that that was what she saw when she looked at me, a 'nice girl' who for her niceness had no boundaries or respect for her own future.

Fortunately my mom was there by this time to save me from this weird conversation, telling the teacher that I was a feminist, that I had boundaries and respected my future, that I was the last girl to need this speech. I was glad that she thought of this obvious answer, so obvious I hadn't thought of it. I couldn't see this response on my own in the face of my shock that while I saw no good reason to have sex, ever, that it was considered normal for girls my age to do so just to please a boy.

[Aiv]

For some reason this moment comes to mind:

When I had my twelfth birthday party, I invited some friends from school, one of which had never been to my house before. During the party I "gave her a tour" which meant showing her the non-human residents, a bird and two cats, and my room. She was interested in my collection of dolls (Monster High and Ever After High dolls dominating the mix), which were technically specific characters but which I gave invented characters, costumes, and stories to play out, then switched to a new story when the last was exhausted. I had mostly female but for one male doll, who wasn't part of any story yet as he was new. She took interest in him and took off his shirt to demonstrate something or other I simply didn't get, I guess that he was "hot"? I really don't know, and I don't want to. I'm not entirely sure what's supposed to be so interesting about a male torso, though movies sure like showing them off.

[Blue eyes white dragon]

My dumbest moment is when I realized people use "hot" and "sexy" in a sexual way🤣. I've always used "hot" as a way to describe someone that I found incredibly aesthetically pleasing and "sexy" to describe a "hot" person who was also very flirtatious and charming. When I found out a couple of months ago how these words are actually are used and mean, I was shocked and had a crisis 🤣

[RacheI]

Back when I was sixteen and most definitely straight, a group of girls loudly commented on "that cute boy".

 

I told them my dog appreciated the thought.

[Possum Party]

A story from work where I forgot that flirting was a thing.

So I'm in charge of taking temperatures at work because you all know why. And lately my eye has been giving me troubles. New medication caused me to have double vision so seeing is really difficult rn. So, sometimes just to be able to make out anything I'm looking at I have to close one eye or wear a patch, which I did not have with me that day, but most of the people here have already caught wind that I've been dealing with this issue with my eyes so I haven't had much issue with it. Well we got a new guy in this particular day, and I'm taking his temperature and I close my eye really quick so I don't accidentally bonk him in the head with the thermometer, and suddenly he starts getting really chatty and I'm like ???? Huh. I'm usually friendly though so it's cool. I chat a little. Then he ends the convo with a really rushed and awkward "you're really pretty" before walking off and that's when it hit me. He thought I winked at him. And I just stood there thinking "how do I tell him I wasn't flirting, I'm just one whole idiot with a lazy eye?"

I genuinely forgot winking was not only a thing, but a flirtatious thing at that.

Edited January 5, 2021 by Possum Party
Typo

[PermianElle]

On 1/3/2021 at 6:49 PM, ~Nadia~ said:

I still don't understand teen pregnancy stuff!! 😅

Look, my mom told me I'd have plenty of time to date after I finished school. That stuck, especially when I met the boys at school and realized that they were all really fricken stupid. Like. Sir, if you think flirting is using my desk basket-- where my books are -- as a footrest is a good way to flirt, then you'll think me smacking you over the head with said books is a marriage proposal. And I'm not talking cheap paperbacks, I'm talking 600 page hardcover fantasy novels. 

 

Granted, once I finished school and college and had time to date, I had no way of meeting anyone. So not only do I not get teen pregnancy, I just don't get accidental pregnancy in general. No birth control? Don't do anything that can result in fertilization! That still leaves a lot! (And now you know why everyone who has a baby near me insists it was totally planned... Except for me, I was pure accident)

[Janus the Fox]

Teen pregnancy around here is rife, it’s like I regularly see kids in school uniforms with a pram and walking a kid in hand on the bus or down a street.  There’s a Teen Motherhood problem in poorer areas like mine in UK.

[DarkStormyKnight]

Apparently the "no thoughts, head empty" meme is about how people feel after sex???? I've been saying it all the time just because my head is constantly empty is that what people think when I say that?