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you*hear*but*do*you*listen

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1 hour ago, will123 said:

That's how I refer to a person/friend to someone that has no knowledge of who I'm talking about.

I do the same. If they don't know the person who I'm talking to then I just refer them as a friend.

 

Speaking of this actually, I can never refer my friends as "my" friend because in my native language, it can be interpreted in two ways.

One is the literal translation: "my (female/male) friend". Or the other way is "my girl/boyfriend".

Most of the time "my" friend is interpreted as "my girl/boyfriend". 

It's so annoying because I want to refer to my friends as "my friend" because I've been friends with them for years. To me, they're not just a friend who I've small talk with only when we come across each other.  But no, I've to refer to them as "a friend" so people won't misinterpret as something else. :/ 

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14 minutes ago, Destan said:

 

I do the same. If they don't know the person who I'm talking to then I just refer them as a friend.

 

Speaking of this actually, I can never refer my friends as "my" friend because in my native language, it can be interpreted in two ways.

One is the literal translation: "my (female/male) friend". Or the other way is "my girl/boyfriend".

Most of the time "my" friend is interpreted as "my girl/boyfriend". 

It's so annoying because I want to refer to my friends as "my friend" because I've been friends with them for years. To me, they're not just a friend who I've small talk with only when we come across each other.  But no, I've to refer to them as "a friend" so people won't misinterpret as something else. :/ 

How true. One is a girl/woman than I've known since we were teenagers (Cathy that I referred to earlier). The other friend, I've known for almost 20 years. I'm out to both of them so we're 'just friends' as far as I'm concerned.

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Janus the Fox
3 hours ago, will123 said:

'Anna and I...'

'Barbara and I...'

'Connie and I...'

'Debbie and I...'

This is like a start of many songs to me hmm...

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1 hour ago, Janus DarkFox said:

This is like a start of many songs to me hmm...

Like this?

 

 

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Regards to my 'promiscuous' friend, as much as it annoyed me I was afraid to say anything to him about it. I still thought I was straight at that point in my life and I was afraid that if I voiced my displeasure about his 'pairings', he'd think I was gay.

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19 hours ago, will123 said:

Me knowing the other person's name meant nothing to me as I never met any of his 'partners'/friends.

Not the same thing, but my mom always would refer to her friends by their names when talking about them to me even though I knew none of them.  I even commented on the fact that I didn't know any of them a few times.

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43 minutes ago, Bronztrooper said:

Not the same thing, but my mom always would refer to her friends by their names when talking about them to me even though I knew none of them.  I even commented on the fact that I didn't know any of them a few times.

No, not quite the same, but yeah I know what you mean.

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5 hours ago, Bronztrooper said:

Not the same thing, but my mom always would refer to her friends by their names when talking about them to me even though I knew none of them.  I even commented on the fact that I didn't know any of them a few times.

My mom does that, too. She knows a lot of people! And talks about them as if I know them and/or care about them, when most of the time I don't. I guess that's just the way some people think. 

 

For myself, I don't have many conversations, and when I do I don't have many other people to talk about, and when I do talk about other people I tend to refer to them as "my friend", "my brother", "my sister", etc., unless I know the person I'm talking to really does know the person I'm talking about, and then I will probably refer to that person by name (or "title", such as "Mom" when I'm talking to my siblings). (how's that for a run on sentence? :P )

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On 12/7/2020 at 9:50 PM, TrustTheCloak said:

HOLD ON

Wait... I just realized this

On dates, when they put a mint a mint mouth to freshen up...

That's not to make their breath smell okay?

It's so they will taste good if they kiss?? 

What!?

How have I not known this... T-T

I didn't actually connect these things together.....

 

There are so many things our culture forces to be romantic or sexual. There's this moment I remember vividly from High School where all my lesbian friends were watching a video of this singer. I don't even remember who it was. They were making jokes about how she could bend them over any day, and I just stared at them, wondering why they would want something like that. I didn't not get sexual references. I even make my own jokes, I have a hard time understand the appeal of anything being said. 

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On 12/9/2020 at 9:42 PM, will123 said:

Like this?

 

 

I was thinking along the lines of:

 

 

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My mom asks me for romantic advice all the time, which I've become accustomed to, although it is at times pretty annoying. I don't actually see much of the person though they've been together over a year; he lives a half hour away, and at best they see each other once a week. (So I guess in a way the whole thing feels like an idea rather than an actuality, but it's such a constant too.) Still, I don't know why but sometimes I hear her say something like "I'm going to see a lot of this boy soon, huh?" or "he's such a cutie, isn't he?" or something like that, and it takes me aback. I don't know why, but the affection and lovey, teasing style of this mildly shocks me every time. I am completely, totally conscious of her romantic way of seeing and living, and the way this person is everything to her, yet still it catches me by surprise every now and again. Although logically I am adjusted to the idea, just interacting with her, despite how close we are, I feel like we live on completely different planets.

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15 hours ago, SpaceDustbin said:

I was thinking along the lines of:

 

 

All I see is a black rectangle :(

 

I do recall a song in the late 90s early 2000s that had a bunch of girls' names. Annoying if you weren't into that genre of music.

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On 9/18/2020 at 9:32 AM, little rae of sunshine said:

I just found out that kids in my class have been doing certain things and I know that it's not uncommon for teenagers to have sex but it baffled me I thought that was more of a movie thing and there were only a few that actually did anything in hs...

Wow! Same here, I generally thought "They're still kids though, so that can't really be happening" and then it did with a friend of mine. So now I know better.

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Something else that randomly came to mind:

The year before last I had a friend at school I'd eat lunch with (I'm the kind who either eats with one person, or completely alone, and either situation works for me). My pencil box looks like a miniature Egyptian coffin, because I like everything Ancient Egypt, and there was one day she saw it and was interested. So she looked at it, and on the inside there is an image of a goddess. She notices right away her breasts are bared, and is appalled. I explain that in ancient civilizations, especially those in places with a hot climate like Egypt, the concepts of modesty were a bit different from ours. I mentioned a book I have of Greek mythology with too many images of the gods without clothes on, and that I had to draw them clothes with permanent marker. She asks about the pictures of the (nude) (male) gods and if they were hot. i believe I said something to the effect of "How should I know?" or "You think I was looking at them?"; we aren't friends now, for unrelated reasons, that is reasons that remain mysterious to me.

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On 9/12/2020 at 7:28 AM, Firefly8 said:

That puzzled-while-trying-not-to-show-it look on someone's face after you tell them "I don't really date" is priceless. 😂

They just think I'm focusing on my studies! Right now not dating is just part of my "good student" persona. Strangers will ask if I'm dating or whatever and I say "No" rather quickly, and then they advise me to "stay away from boys" and focus on school, and I nod along, the whole time thinking, Duh! To me it should be an established fact, but not in the same way they're thinking. --Clearly they assume "staying away from boys" [this also assumes I'm heterosexual as well as allosexual to begin with, but whatever] is somehow challenging on some sort of level!

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On 8/5/2020 at 2:18 PM, nerdperson777 said:

I haven't seen or read Merida but today it's not as weird to have stories where the princess doesn't marry a prince and lives happy ever after.  I've heard the hashtag of Give Elsa a Girlfriend, but some people also think she's aro ace.  I forget the story for that already but I think neither sister got married?  And I haven't watched the second one to know if any ended up married.  But yeah, I think people don't care as much about the lack of a prince.

I used to think I liked stories where they don't end up with the prince in the end due to my feminism... But now I'm thinking, obviously this was due to my being aroace, so if she does end up with the prince I feel some sort of dissonance in it. This whole time, it was not only "she can save herself, and doesn't have to rely on a man," but also, "why would she want to be with them anyways? What in the world is that prince even thinking?"

If anyone's familiar with Into The Woods, I've never understood either the princes' obsession with their respective potential brides (when they only cheat on them by the end!,) and what in the world Cinderella, Rapunzel, the Baker's Wife (why doesn't she have her own name anyways?), and (not in the movie version) Snow White and Sleeping Beauty see in them to begin with? 

On 8/5/2020 at 2:18 PM, nerdperson777 said:

I'm pretty sure my mom did what your preparation was.  I would joke with my cousin that I wasn't a result of my parents' passion.  It's a carefully planned out event down to the last detail. 

My mom can tell me the exact date I was conceived. (At least she seems pretty positive.) This has always led me to think my parents never really were in love or attracted to each other, though thinking about it logically that makes little actual sense; why would they move in together or get married then? But of course there is context to put this into perspective: they've been divorced for half my life, and my mother has a history of talking less than nicely about him (he was abusive and narcissistic) and it's only recently when I've admitted to never hearing about her having loved him or thought positively about him that I've heard her say anything suggesting either of those things.

In a sort of related note, the concept of a 'voluntary arranged marriage' with the decision to have a child, and the parties involved not exactly being in love, has begun to turn up in my writing. Even if it's not completely probable that this is an actual piece of my history, I have perceived it as being so, and that is enough for it to come up in one of my stories. 

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9 hours ago, will123 said:

All I see is a black rectangle :(

Maybe it's so British, it can't be viewed across the water... :lol:

It was supposed to be The Beautiful South's 'Song for Whoever' 

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There was one time I was in the field with all my teammates  getting ready to warm up and my friend bended down to put on her tennis but she couldn't put one of them on so she said"it won't fit!" and everyone laughed and I was like??? Took me literal years to get that one.

 

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On 12/1/2020 at 6:59 AM, hikarin said:

Agree with all of those except for the shipping fictional characters part, since I somehow get that. I don't get shipping *yourself* or a self-insert with a fictional character though

 

I almost forgot people used to obsess over Justin Bieber. Never understood that, either. Are people into K-Pop stars for a similar reason?

I also sometimes ship characters, but wouldn't put myself in the picture.

 

I guess you could also say that about kpop 🤔. As far as I know, many people enjoy k-pop not only for its music, but also the perceived closeness of the stars to their fans and the extensive fanservice...Which brings me to a story of my own: A Korean friend of mine showed me a video about a fan-meeting, she herself had taken part in and where every fan has a few seconds face-to-face meeting with their idol. In the video a male star was holding a female fans hands and smiling lovingly at her, being very close (my view). I could have sworn they were a freshly baked pair of lovers, really can't tell the difference. Somehow all this seemed so weird to me, holding hands like that with a total stranger. Also, many fans call their idols "my husband" or sth. similar any send them expensive gifts. I don't mind them doing that, if its important to them, but personally I just can't comprehend why someone would like a person they don't know...I don't even like people I do know in that way haha

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3 minutes ago, Black Sesame said:

I also sometimes ship characters, but wouldn't put myself in the picture.

 

I guess you could also say that about kpop 🤔. As far as I know, many people enjoy k-pop not only for its music, but also the perceived closeness of the stars to their fans and the extensive fanservice...Which brings me to a story of my own: A Korean friend of mine showed me a video about a fan-meeting, she herself had taken part in and where every fan has a few seconds face-to-face meeting with their idol. In the video a male star was holding a female fans hands and smiling lovingly at her, being very close (my view). I could have sworn they were a freshly baked pair of lovers, really can't tell the difference. Somehow all this seemed so weird to me, holding hands like that with a total stranger. Also, many fans call their idols "my husband" or sth. similar any send them expensive gifts. I don't mind them doing that, if its important to them, but personally I just can't comprehend why someone would like a person they don't know...I don't even like people I do know in that way haha

Well didn't women send 'stuff' to Tom Jones in his heyday?

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16 minutes ago, will123 said:

Well didn't women send 'stuff' to Tom Jones in his heyday?

Well,  this is certainly not exclusive to kpop 😂, but I personally can only talk about what I know from my friend in Korea

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3 hours ago, Black Sesame said:

Also, many fans call their idols "my husband"

I once had a teacher (this was several years ago) who showed us a number of movies for the class, and she would call an actor she (admired? something?) her 'boyfriend.' To this day, I don't understand. Oh well.

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8 hours ago, will123 said:

Well didn't women send 'stuff' to Tom Jones in his heyday?

Or take 'stuff' off during live shows and toss it on stage. :P 

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27 minutes ago, daveb said:

Or take 'stuff' off during live shows and toss it on stage. :P 

That too! :)

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On 12/12/2020 at 2:35 AM, an~imperial~votress said:

I used to think I liked stories where they don't end up with the prince in the end due to my feminism... But now I'm thinking, obviously this was due to my being aroace

That ‘is it feminism or asexuality’ thing is definitely something I relate to! Do I want women to have no interest in romance because they’re strong independent women who don’t need a man, or because there’s so few ace role models (and many of those who are thought to be ace are stereotypes)?

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Just now, cakeandcats said:

That ‘is it feminism or asexuality’ thing is definitely something I relate to! Do I want women to have no interest in romance because they’re strong independent women who don’t need a man, or because there’s so few ace role models (and many of those who are thought to be ace are stereotypes)?

Yes! And it's super confusing in my experience because I've had them mentally combined for years... I often end up thinking, when I come across a story with (for instance) a strong heroine that ends up in some sort of relationship at the end (usually with that male acquaintance/friend/annoyance character) what is it that bugs me about it: I know I feel like the story did an about face, but I don't know how much of it is what! And I'm always forgetting the end of Maleficent, that that prince is still hanging around...

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4 minutes ago, an~imperial~votress said:

Yes! And it's super confusing in my experience because I've had them mentally combined for years... I often end up thinking, when I come across a story with (for instance) a strong heroine that ends up in some sort of relationship at the end (usually with that male acquaintance/friend/annoyance character) what is it that bugs me about it: I know I feel like the story did an about face, but I don't know how much of it is what! And I'm always forgetting the end of Maleficent, that that prince is still hanging around...

I always ignore the prince in Maleficent. The mother-daughter theme is much more interesting and the romance is an irritation!

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On 12/12/2020 at 4:33 PM, an~imperial~votress said:

I once had a teacher (this was several years ago) who showed us a number of movies for the class, and she would call an actor she (admired? something?) her 'boyfriend.' To this day, I don't understand. Oh well.

I had a history teacher in high school who called Winston Churchill her boyfriend. I don't really know why, but it was kind of funny.

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1 hour ago, Cowgirl_Kat said:

I had a history teacher in high school who called Winston Churchill her boyfriend. I don't really know why, but it was kind of funny.

I had a history teacher who had a big crush on Alexander Hamilton and Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, but she never called either of them her boyfriend. 

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