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Incredibly Ace Moments

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Skycaptain
6 minutes ago, Tintinfan said:

When you make a crude joke then the flatmates joke its your sexual awakening. No you keep talking about balls and testicles so I am frantically trying to fit it!

Fit it where? 😋 😋 

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Tintinfan
40 minutes ago, Skycaptain said:

Fit it where? 😋 😋 

Fit in. Fantastic a typo. 

 

That is what I don't need. 

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Bronztrooper
46 minutes ago, Meowmocha said:

I often feel awkward about admitting that I find someone attractive. Besides that, if you say something like "So-and-so is cute" or "I have a crush on So-and-so", people always make such a big deal.

Also, most dogs lap up the attention if you say, "Hi, tiny furry cuteness! Aren't you just the most adorable thing ever?" And ridiculous gooey monologues don't make animals ill, because they don't understand the words. 

Oh, yeah, definitely.  I don't even want to complement someone on their appearance lest they mistake it for flirting (and even worse, try to flirt back), but at least my friends won't misinterpret me saying that someone looks nice as me being attracted to them.

 

Yeah, dogs are great because you can say whatever you want, but all they care about is the tone of your voice.  Cats are nice, but I'm paranoid about their claws and I'm not a fan of doing cat litter, so if I had to choose between the 2 I'd go with dogs any day.

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will123
5 hours ago, Skycaptain said:

I think the odd hotelier was surprised this summer when my then bestie (now GF) and myself booked a twin, rather than double, room. At the time we were just friends and travelling companions, thus a double bed wasn't appropriate at the time. 

I had a fairly traumatic (for me) possibly for my friend when even though I booked a room with two beds, it was a single when we opened the door.

 

We had only known each other for a short time and attending a sporting event. This was about a year and a half before I identified as asexual. My head was full of emotions. "Will Tonia think I'm trying to have sex with her? I don't even know how to 'get there'. If she had shown 'affection', how would I react?" I turned and looked at her and the expression on her face wasn't pleasant.

 

I promptly went down to the desk and was able to get a different room for us. What a relief!

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Wholock314

Off topic but, I was creating a new DnD character the other night, its a dragonborn fighter and my sister wanted to draw our characters together since she's a gnomeling and the size difference is comedic (3' 40lb vs 6'3" 254lb) so she asked what color scales she should give me, and with out really thinking about it I said dark purple, bordering on black so it's kinda shimmery/metallic. It just dawned on me that I, an asexual, inadvertently decided to role-play as a giant purple/black dragon. 😂

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Artila

My friend and I went to an anime/weeb store and while I joked about the dakimakura pillows, the hentai (manga porn) and the pads with stuffed butts/breasts (like this) my friend was seriously gushing about what yaoi hentai were the best and how she owns a pad like this so she can squeeze the butt of a fictional crush of hers.

 

I just wanted to say "hahahah who the fuck even buys such stuff lmaoooooo" when I noticed what she said and I swallowed my words quickly enough. 
yes I don't spit, I swallow! 

 

I never felt so incredibly asexual before.

 

 

 

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Onomatopoet

I'm glad this hotel bathroom window-thing is making others as baffled as I was (am).

 

On 10/28/2020 at 3:07 PM, will123 said:

What the fuck?

Assuming I remember correctly, on inspection we figured it worked somewhat like this:

If the bathroom lights were on and the room lights were off (which they were bc late-night headache), the bathroom had a mirror and the room had a window to the bathroom.

Vice versa: if the lights were on in the room you couldn't see inside the bathroom, but the bathroom had to be completely dark and you could see inside the room.

If the lights were either on or off in both rooms, you could see through on both sides.

 

On 10/28/2020 at 3:07 PM, will123 said:

Was there a way to cover the 'window'? Or did you and your friend just avert your eyes from the 'window' when the other was using it?

There was not. Luckily you couldn't see the window-mirror when lying on the bed, and falling asleep was top priority anyway.

 

On 10/28/2020 at 4:51 PM, will123 said:

Was there only one bed in the room?

Yes - right under the bathroom window, which somehow felt weird. Also with proper mirror shenanigans you could probably see through the bathroom window reflected on the roof mirror if that makes any sense.

 

I recommend this hotel. Not for comfort, but for the memes.

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Onomatopoet
51 minutes ago, Wholock314 said:

It just dawned on me that I, an asexual, inadvertently decided to role-play as a giant purple/black dragon

This is top-notch roleplaying. No matter how hard you try to make your character something completely different, you always end up hiding yourself somewhere in there!

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Wholock314
25 minutes ago, Onomatopoet said:

This is top-notch roleplaying. No matter how hard you try to make your character something completely different, you always end up hiding yourself somewhere in there!

I didn't try one way or the other, I just created the character based on the fact that we needed muscle since its only a two person campaign. lol

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Lifesaver

In elementary school, I was asked so many times if I had a crush that I just picked a guy. My parents knew him (we attended the same babysitter for years).

 

Mom used to joke that one day they would come home and find (fake crush) and me on the couch. On opposite ends, reading.

 

Oh mom, turns out you were on to something. Not with (fake crush) though, that was never gonna be a thing.

 

 

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SunlitMoonlight

when i came across those "for those of you who had your sexual awakenings cause by..." articles on buzzfeed.

and i'd seen the movies and being very ace was like "uuuhh what is this 'awakening' you speak of" so i read it and did you know this one person had their sexual awakening like at age 11  and im over here being very ace and 17 and i just found it extremely mind boggling

 

 

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Wholock314
46 minutes ago, SunlitMoonlight said:

when i came across those "for those of you who had your sexual awakenings cause by..." articles on buzzfeed.

and i'd seen the movies and being very ace was like "uuuhh what is this 'awakening' you speak of" so i read it and did you know this one person had their sexual awakening like at age 11  and im over here being very ace and 17 and i just found it extremely mind boggling

 

 

Yes the whole "awakening" thing is most unclear, unless of course it is from a well deserved nap, that is the only awakening I understand.

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Sarah-Sylvia

Just for the heck of it I went to some chat rooms I used to, and it didn't take long before I felt like I knew part of why I left there and didn't feel like going back. Someone talks to me and says they're looking for something new, and then later I find out what they mean (that they're 'horny'), and wanted to have a good time aside form her husband. 'Sigh'.

I underestimated how tired I am of sexual stuff. Would be nice if there were more nice places to chat where it's not mostly what people are after.

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Barbara101

Just wanted to say you guys REALLY help sometimes, just by existing 👍 It still happens that close family members say stuff like “Why don’t you want to be with someone? Romantic relationships are nature’s way, why go against it?” But now I can respond “And what about all these people in the aven community that have a similar opinion to mine? Are we all against nature???” And they kinda shut up 😂 They love me, but damn, some things we don’t see eye to eye hahah. It’s alright, it never gets more offensive than this. It can still suck, but that’s how far they go.

 

And yes, I’m aware many aven members are in relationships or open to them, I was referring to the ones that aren’t interested altogether. You all rock though!

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Sarah-Sylvia
9 minutes ago, Barbara101 said:

Just wanted to say you guys REALLY help sometimes, just by existing 👍 It still happens that close family members say stuff like “Why don’t you want to be with someone? Romantic relationships are nature’s way, why go against it?” But now I can respond “And what about all these people in the aven community that have a similar opinion to mine? Are we all against nature???” And they kinda shut up 😂 They love me, but damn, some things we don’t see eye to eye hahah. It’s alright, it never gets more offensive than this. It can still suck, but that’s how far they go.

 

And yes, I’m aware many aven members are in relationships or open to them, I was referring to the ones that aren’t interested altogether. You all rock though!

That'd be aromantic people, since they're not driven to want romantic relationships. Many asexuals love romance and want relationships.

 

It's good if you can feel like it's ok to be how you are though.

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will123
10 hours ago, Barbara101 said:

 And yes, I’m aware many aven members are in relationships or open to them, I was referring to the ones that aren’t interested altogether. You all rock though!

 

10 hours ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

That'd be aromantic people, since they're not driven to want romantic relationships. Many asexuals love romance and want relationships.

It was about 13 years after I identified as asexual before I looked into what 'aromantic' was. It was a major facepalm moment for me. "I've been aro since my early 20s! I just didn't know it". (I was 57 at the time)

 

When friends were 'pairing up' I had no interest. Yes I had girl 'friends' but that was all we were, friends.

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Onomatopoet

I've got four close straight friends who've never been in a relationship, which makes me - an aroace who once ended up in a rather awkward relationship for a few months - the group's top guru in all things romantic. As my friends are going through their often short-lived adventures in the murky waters of dating, they come to me with their troubles and questions.

 

Recently I've been approached with inquiries starting with things like "master, please help me" or "answer this, sensei". Time after time I remind them that I honestly have no idea how they should tactically approach flirting or what would be the proper plan for their second date, and that as a matter of fact they'd be better off asking anyone but me.

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Concinnity
14 hours ago, Onomatopoet said:

and that as a matter of fact they'd be better off asking anyone but me.

Hm, this makes me wonder... I also often find myself in a position where friends spill their relationship woes and I do feel that - regardless of my orientation and lack of experience - I do give valid advice. To myself I tend to explain this as having a neutral outside view, unrestricted by personal (bad?) experiences or expectations. As such, I sometimes feel even more qualified tht allosexuals, because I offer a sort-of-scientific or at least neutral perspective on their issues. So maybe it is not despite, but because of your orientation that your friends seek your expert advice?

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Onomatopoet
9 hours ago, Concinnity said:

To myself I tend to explain this as having a neutral outside view, unrestricted by personal (bad?) experiences or expectations. As such, I sometimes feel even more qualified tht allosexuals

At least this is what I tell my friends, hah. Might be some truth to it too, but at the very least it's a quality joke so thanks for bringing it up!

One time an allo friend studying to be a doctor half-convinced me that aces have been crucial in human evolution as they haven't been bothered by romantic drama and have focused on fostering orphans and taking care of the community. Probably far from the truth but I love the idea.

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Concinnity
1 minute ago, Onomatopoet said:

Probably far from the truth but I love the idea.

Seems like evolutionary self-harm to produce asexual individuals to raise sexual offspring, resulting in a genetic dead-end of the asexual genes.

 

However, and reminding me of yet another "hindsight is 20/20" prime asexual moment:
Ducks (Mallards?) quite frequently form male pairs that steal the offspring (of one of these males) from the female in order to raise them with a much higher success rate than male-female pairs (due to having two strong protectors).

I tried to give this as an example to my dad once for the natural occurence of homosexuality outside of just the human race and its self-worth in humanity. He was incredulous that I would define homosexuality as two individuals (ducks) of the same gender raising non-biological kids together because.. wait for it... those male ducks don't have sex with each other! Well, it was obvious to him, but for me, I was like... "Sex? Why would they need sex for a partnership?" Duh.

 

I didn't say that out loud though. For me it made perfect sense. Guess those ducks really are just homoromantic, then?

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Onomatopoet
2 hours ago, Concinnity said:

the asexual genes.

 

Ace genes? Curious idea! I've always thought of aceness as rather a lack of specific genes combined with growing up environment.

 

This is a quality duck story (or Ducktale if you will). I've never gotten used to people seeing sex as such a fundamental part of relationships. Also the story reminded me of this 100% unrelated yet amazing video:

 

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ER2742
2 hours ago, Concinnity said:

Seems like evolutionary self-harm to produce asexual individuals to raise sexual offspring, resulting in a genetic dead-end of the asexual genes.

Evolution happens at the level of populations, not individuals. If the population does better when there are some individuals with a particular trait, then that trait will be likely to persist in a percentage of the population. Granted, a trait that is controlled by a dominant allele on a single gene and that prevents the individual from reproducing would be unlikely to persist, but most traits are not that simple. 

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matt_lock
3 hours ago, Concinnity said:

Seems like evolutionary self-harm to produce asexual individuals to raise sexual offspring, resulting in a genetic dead-end of the asexual genes.

 

Are you familiar with the gay uncle hypothesis? the idea is that an animal that isn't interested in having children with thus have more resources, and be able to help out their siblings children, resulting in a greater number of surviving children in that family.

 

Basically, having gay or ace kids reduces the amount of grandchildren born, but increases the number of surviving grandchildren. So having some chance for it to occur is a net benefit.

 

And of course, we aren't slaves to genes and evolution.

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lilsciencenerd

already posted but would like to add:

 

I grew up fantasizing about the hot boys in my school liking me.....so that I could reject them and assert my Powerful Woman-ness. I daydreamed about how I would reject them and how cool my classmates would think I was. not one of those daydreams ended with me & a boy getting together. HAHA anna u absolute idiot how did you not even suspect you were ace

 

I did this my entire childhood/school life and only made this connection today. at least I'm consistently dumb;) 

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meningalmadi

Question was asked today among my friends: 
"Are you a boobs or butt person?"
Me: "neither, but I like muscles" XD

Honestly feels like they were objectifying people but I guess it's a preference thing. I just cannot understand this question lol

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I_Like_Art

This might be gross I don't know

Spoiler

Another time my friends (who were all lesbian and bi) were talking about whether they were a top or a bottom.  They asked me what I was, and I was about to ask if participating was mandatory, but someone said I was probably a bottom so I just went with it.  Anyways, later I tried to imagine myself doing it, and I can't at all, everyone is fully dressed, I am watching it from a third person perspective, neither of the people look like me, but the person on the bottom has a confused and slightly scared expression, and it's a cartoon. It's also frozen in place so they aren't even making out.

"I grew up fantasizing about the hot boys in my school liking me.....so that I could reject them and assert my Powerful Woman-ness. I daydreamed about how I would reject them and how cool my classmates would think I was. not one of those daydreams ended with me & a boy getting together. HAHA anna u absolute idiot how did you not even suspect you were ace"

I DO THE SAME EXACT THING LITERALLY ALL THE TIME

 

Also, does anyone know of a petition to change the abbreviation bf to mean best friend instead of boyfriend? lol

 

Edited by Catradora worshipper

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Sarah-Sylvia
Just now, Catradora worshipper said:

This might be gross I don't know

  Reveal hidden contents

Another time my friends (who were all lesbian and bi) were talking about whether they were a top or a bottom.  They asked me what I was, and I was about to ask if participating was mandatory, but someone said I was probably a bottom so I just went with it.  Anyways, later I tried to imagine myself doing it, and I can't at all, everyone is fully dressed, I am watching it from a third person perspective, neither of the people look like me, but the person on the bottom has a confused and slightly scared expression, and it's a cartoon. It's also frozen in place so they aren't even making out.

I DO THE SAME EXACT THING LITERALLY ALL THE TIME

 

Also, does anyone know of a petition to change the abbreviation bf to mean best friend instead of boyfriend?

 

Just use bff, since it already exists. ;)

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I_Like_Art
2 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Just use bff, since it already exists. ;)

haha I'm dumb 🤦‍♀️

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Sarah-Sylvia
3 minutes ago, Catradora worshipper said:

haha I'm dumb 🤦‍♀️

Nah you just want good friends to be more common :)
*hug*

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