Incredibly Ace Moments

[Skycaptain]

Slightly NSFW content, but not too bad 

 

Talking about face-nappies with my business partner 

 

Spoiler

Me "Some people can't wear face-nappies because of sensory issues, people with Autism for example. Having anything touching my face is uncomfortable" 

"Him" Have a lady sit on your face, you'll feel alright "

Me" I wouldn't know "😋😋

 

[Guest]

Definitely one of the weirdest ace moments I’ve ever had: my roommate having to explain to me what lingerie is. You guys, I thought it was just a mispronunciation of laundry. I felt very, VERY asexual in that moment.

[Barbara101]

3 hours ago, GhostEmpire said:

 Definitely one of the weirdest ace moments I’ve ever had: my roommate having to explain to me what lingerie is. You guys, I thought it was just a mispronunciation of laundry. 

Damn, I love little stories like this 😂😂😂 And yours makes sense, I just hadn’t thought of these two words like that before lolll

[Barbara101]

Ace moment, featuring my dad:

Him: Don’t you want to get a boyfriend?

Me: Aren’t dads usually against their daughters’ boyfriends? Why would you want me to?

Him: It doesn’t matter how I’ll feel, don’t you want a boyfriend??

 

He was sweet at that moment 😂 I just told him I don’t feel like it yet, even though the “yet” was redundant 😛

[twetzel59]

One of my closest friends told me that he wouldn't be able to accept it if he had a romantic partner cheat on him (sexually). I was sorta dumbfounded because for me sex would be such a minor part of my view of fidelity.

 

I would feel violated and replaced if my partner formed a deep emotional bond with someone secret. But if they just had sex I'd be over it in like 2 days.

[QuasiSquirrel]

Yea, I was 23 the first time I had a sexual encounter.

[Barbara101]

On 10/3/2020 at 6:56 AM, twetzel59 said:

One of my closest friends told me that he wouldn't be able to accept it if he had a romantic partner cheat on him (sexually). I was sorta dumbfounded because for me sex would be such a minor part of my view of fidelity.

 

I would feel violated and replaced if my partner formed a deep emotional bond with someone secret. But if they just had sex I'd be over it in like 2 days.

I find this a particularly interesting attitude towards fidelity. And I must say I’ve never heard something like it before, but I kind of understand what you mean. It’s like you’ve divided the mind-heart stuff from the body stuff. 

 

For me it’s quite the opposite, to be honest. I’ve never had a relationship, but sex between two people seems to me like the ultimate sign of absolute trust. Like access to the most “classified files” of a person. Which is why I don’t understand how some people I know do it with ease. But if my partner cheated on me like that, it would mean he absolutely, completely trusted himself to someone else. It’s his decision, his life, but it would devastate me. 

[QuirkyMongoose555]

I don't know if this counts as an ace moment, but I went to high school prom alone and didn't feel like I missed out on anything.

[Barbara101]

9 minutes ago, QuirkyMongoose555 said:

I don't know if this counts as an ace moment, but I went to high school prom alone and didn't feel like I missed out on anything.

You are a boss. Spat right on peer pressure’s face. Love that.

[PercyJackson]

2 hours ago, QuirkyMongoose555 said:

I don't know if this counts as an ace moment, but I went to high school prom alone and didn't feel like I missed out on anything.

But that's the thing, isn't it? Other's might think one miss something without a partner in some situations, but if that's not for everyone. I went with my best friend and that was amazing as well 🥰

[will123]

Never went to prom either and it didn't fizz on me. Imagine my surprise when recently when I was talking with a female classmate that I keep in touch with (40 years later) that she didnt go either. She wasnt a mucky muck as I called the 'socialites' but I figured most of the girls would've gone.

 

"Nobody asked me". My jaw dropped as she's a pretty brunette with a great personality and was a friendly sort.

[Janus the Fox]

There weren't Proms where I'm from but School Discos are similar.  Mostly just dancing to cheesy 90's party music.

[Bronztrooper]

On 10/2/2020 at 6:51 AM, PercyJackson said:

This is my mum all the time!!

 

My mum trying to investigate my love life when I've met new people:

"Are there any cute boys?"

"Eh no..."

"Really?"

"I guess they were not ugly?"

"ah okej..."

 

I just thought of these situations now, how I've never really paid attention to the looks of others. Of course people can be cute, but it has nothing to do with me 😅

Had something similar with my dad.  When I was in school, every so often he'd ask if I 'saw any cute girls' and I'd always say 'no'.  It extended to asking me the same question about work as well and my answer never changed- even after I came out to him he still asked every so often.

 

On 10/2/2020 at 11:56 PM, twetzel59 said:

One of my closest friends told me that he wouldn't be able to accept it if he had a romantic partner cheat on him (sexually). I was sorta dumbfounded because for me sex would be such a minor part of my view of fidelity.

 

I would feel violated and replaced if my partner formed a deep emotional bond with someone secret. But if they just had sex I'd be over it in like 2 days.

Cheating, to me, implies going behind the partner's back to be with someone else, which is what would get me the most.  I don't really care if my allo partner sleeps with someone else, but if they go behind my back with it and try to keep it a secret, it'd be a serious betrayal of my trust in them.  The act doesn't bother me, it's the circumstances around it that matter the most, imo.

 

On 10/4/2020 at 10:12 AM, Barbara101 said:

For me it’s quite the opposite, to be honest. I’ve never had a relationship, but sex between two people seems to me like the ultimate sign of absolute trust. Like access to the most “classified files” of a person. Which is why I don’t understand how some people I know do it with ease. But if my partner cheated on me like that, it would mean he absolutely, completely trusted himself to someone else. It’s his decision, his life, but it would devastate me. 

That's the way it is for me too, but I understand that other people don't feel that way, even if I don't understand why it's a casual thing for them.  I've luckily never been in that kind of situation, but if it happened that someone went behind my back to sleep with someone instead of talking things out, that would be a bigger betrayal of my trust that anything that they did with the other person.

 

8 hours ago, QuirkyMongoose555 said:

I don't know if this counts as an ace moment, but I went to high school prom alone and didn't feel like I missed out on anything.

I didn't go to prom at all, and I had a gf at the time (she didn't want to go either, which was perfectly fine with me), but I did go to the homecoming dance in my senior year because I figured I may as well go to it since it was my last year of school.

 

 

idk if this counts, but I did sort of have an 'ace dream' around a week ago and it's been sitting in my head, so I figured I'd talk about it on here:

 

So, basically, what I remember from the dream was that I was hanging out with a woman and we were talking about a lot of random stuff and enjoying ourselves, and then we eventually when went back to an apartment (don't remember if it was supposed to be mine or hers) and kept talking for a while.  Then, at one point, we stopped talking and she just looked at me before getting all up on me and trying to kiss me, which I guess was meant to get me 'warmed up', but after a few moments I pulled away and end up explaining to her that I was ace and apparently she was good with that.

 

The thing that gets me about that dream is that, well, sometimes I have these weird dreams that have no context or anything that end up turning out to have been precognitive dreams, and I can't help but feel like this was one of those dreams.  The reason I feel that way is that it just felt too in-character with irl me rather than dream me and the details were a bit too vivid from what I remember for it to be a regular dream.

 

idk, maybe it was just a random dream, but I won't really know for sure either way for any time soon, based on my past precognitive dreams (usually a gap of more than half a dozen years between the dream and the moment in question, and I always get a big hit of deja vu and instantly remember the dream for that specific moment when beforehand I wouldn't have been able to recall it no matter how hard I tried).

 

Dreams are weird

[Barbara101]

22 hours ago, Bronztrooper said:

Dreams are weird

Yup, weird as can be, sometimes. Interesting experience, I get the whole “it was more in-character for real-life me than dream me” concept. Good thing you wrote it down this time, it’ll be easier to remember in 6 years when it comes in handy 😂 But I must say, even in a dream, good for you for standing up for yourself! The fact that the girl was understanding might represent another part of yourself, accepting the ace part or something. Just speculation, but well done!

 

Anyone else with ace dreams??? Please do write them if you wish, guys! I’ll go first!

 

I’ve had this one a few times, the ending is always the same. Don’t know how to explain it exactly, but in my dream I find myself being brought to an institution that oversees people getting into relationships (peacefully lol, it wasn’t THAT dystopian). Nope, it doesn’t make sense hahaha why would they have an institution for that??? Anyway, my turn comes and I just beg and beg to be excluded from the process. Usually they’re like “No, no, you’ve put it off long enough, no. No!...Argh...fine, you can have some coffee in the corner while you wait to leave.”

 

To clarify, I’m not sharing this to offend anyone in a relationship. I love seeing successful relationships, my best friend definitely has a great one. I’m just a fan of the whole thing as long as it doesn’t involve me 😛

[puffin74656]

I had an ace/aro dream about six months ago where I was writing a brochure asexuality and aromanticism for my college resource for sexuality and gender center. Since I had actually been talking about it with some people at my college in real life, that crept into my dream. In my dream, I got as far as going on AVEN to cite definitions, and in the weird way of dreams, nothing else happened.

 

I've never had an ace/aro dream about me being in a relationship/being pressured to be in a relationship/people hitting on me though.

 

And we still have not gotten around to writing a new brochure in real life.

[will123]

Just now, CBC said:

Fuck prom. And dances in general. I went to only one school dance and it was stupid. I hated the music and I spent almost all my time outside the gymnasium (where most of it took place), roaming the hallways with my best friend and goofing around.

We were out of town on weekends so never went to any there. Never went to any on the weekends where we were (I had the opportunity to). I was too busy babysitting while my friends were raising hell at them. I look back at that as one of the first signs I was asexual.

[TrustTheCloak]

*sigh* My most recent ace moment was this Saturday.

I play weekly D&D with a party of my closest friends. We were goofing around and talking in the Zoom meeting as our DM looked up some vague information on one of the dumb things our resident Gnome decided to do. My friends helped my other ace friend and I realize that when people have crushes, they actually want to, kiss and/or date them?! Both of us thought it was more of an aesthetic/closely platonic attraction thing.

“Oh, that person is nice, I want to get to know them better in a more personal way.”

We though that "hot" simply meant the person was considered "good looking". Soo... yeah humans are weird. I've only felt squishes, and mistook them as crushes, so this was an eye opener for both of us.

There are several people who have confessed to liking me that I will never be able to look at the same again. Yay.

Edited October 7, 2020 by TrustTheCloak
Grammer

[iyote]

17 hours ago, Barbara101 said:

Anyone else with ace dreams??? Please do write them if you wish, guys! I’ll go first!

Had an aroace dream some time back where I'd somehow already gotten into a relationship with someone, and the entire time I was trying to figure out how to explain to them that I was aroace and I didn't actually want to be in a relationship at all.  I was very uncomfortable and it was extremely stressful, to the point that I actually felt sick.  

I really hated that dream.  

[oops_eddie]

In regards to the Prom thing, where I'm from we do high school 'Formals' instead. They much more chill because (at my school, at least) only like, 40 - 60 kids attend since it's more of a graduation event. Obviously people still bring their 'dates', but I'm SO glad it's not a date-based event where you almost have to be asked to go. Not just because I don't want to necessarily go with a date in the first place, but also because the only time I've ever been asked out in a school environment was as a prank LMAO.

[Lord Jade Cross]

18 minutes ago, CBC said:

No one ever asked me out either, seriously or as a prank. (Also that's a pretty cruel thing to do as a prank. Kids are little shits.)

 

As far as I know, only one person had a crush on me in high school and it was mutual and neither of us did anything about it, lol. Well until three years later, after high school, and it didn't exactly go that well.

I was never asked out but more of the girls expecting me to say that I wanted to date them. Probably would have saved them some trouble and awkward situation

[Lord Jade Cross]

25 minutes ago, CBC said:

I don't think anyone expected me to want to date them...

 

I don't think any of my peers expected me to do much of anything at all really, except be a quiet nerd with a vague air of weirdness. At some point I was made aware that that meant people thought I was conceited.

 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Yea, being a nerd will often give that impression. It's a nerd thing. A badge of honor maybe 😂 so says I, the 30 something old cosplayer. 

 

People in highschool were all raging about relationships and I was the only weirdo who gave no relationships interest vibes. Actually people still are raging about relationships and I'm still the weirdo giving off no relationship interest vibes 😂 

 

Reminds me of this song

 

 

[Skycaptain]

I have never been "Asked out", ace moment obviously 😋😋

[Aloney]

39 minutes ago, Skycaptain said:

I have never been "Asked out", ace moment obviously 😋😋

I have, and it's pretty awkward, since my first kneejerk reaction is going along with anything, when I'm in shock, and I'm always in shock in that situation since to me it comes from out of nowhere 😅 And then I have to either actually go on that date with them, which ignites immense discomfort in me, or try to find a way to let them down, you know, after I already said yes, without seeming like a total douche? I'm so glad I haven't had to deal with this for a couple years, now, it's just... yeah... tough to handle when your mouth runs before your brain catches on... 😅

[Janus the Fox]

Never been asked out right up until I met my current BF, first time experience as 30 years of age, it felt like a normal conversation, but I kep it going for the experience.  COVID but the breaks on it since February and I'm not 'desperate to get back together or see him again' like the BF is.

[Bronztrooper]

Never been asked out, but I have been hit on and had a secret admirer in middle school.  Though, I think that mainly boils down to the whole expectation that guys are the ones that do the asking out (at least, in the US) and I wasn't exactly 'putting myself out there'.  I'm still not, but maybe whenever things happen to become stable for me financially I'll give it a try- idk

[daveb]

Never been asked out, hit on, and never had a secret admirer as far as I know. To the best of my knowledge no one has ever been interested in me that way. Of course, it could be I was just oblivious - it's one of my super powers.  

[will123]

1 hour ago, daveb said:

Never been asked out, hit on, and never had a secret admirer as far as I know. To the best of my knowledge no one has ever been interested in me that way. Of course, it could be I was just oblivious - it's one of my super powers.  

I had a girl call the house a few years after high school. Knew a lot about me but after I started asking a few questions about her she got pissy and hung up. Said her name was Janice, but didn't sound anything like the three Janices I knew growing up or going to school. One that I shared one class in four years of high school likely didn't know I existed. The other two wouldn't have acted like that.

[Harpreet]

On 12/3/2008 at 1:22 PM, Miala said:

I remember once watching a film with my mum where there was a 'morning after' scene, and the lovey-dovey couple not-so-slyly insinuated that they hadn't had much sleep the night before. I turned to my mum and asked, "Wait... So what were they doing all night?" I don't think I've ever seen her look so awkward.

Though it's not really an especially pleasant memory, I remember being invited to stay over at someone else's house with a bunch of other boys from my class when I was about twelve. They got to talking about who they 'liked', and eventually I was asked. I was more or less oblivious to what they were talking about, so I just gave the name of the girl that I was best friends with. But as kind and sweet as she was, I guess she wasn't...really the type of girl teenage boys are supposed to dream of. So after a few moments of silence, I got 'No, seriously, who do you like?'. And, even more confused, I volunteered the name of my best male friend. Who happened to be present. Suffice to say I didn't get invited to any more sleepovers with those boys. ^^;

Oh, and there was one incident during sex education when I was fourteen. A couple of people were coming in to give a talk on safe sex, and we were pulled out of the lessons we were meant to have had that day and given the talk in groups according to our gender. Maybe I was just in a foul temper that day. We had had sex education classes before, and I had always been happy enough just to space out and nod along through them. But I couldn't understand why music, my favourite class, had been cancelled. And why I had been separated from most of my best friends just because I was male and they were female, and sat in a room full of boys I really didn't feel comfortable around. So I found myself rather uncharacteristically doing my best to be annoying and disruptive throughout the lesson. And when we were given bananas and asked to put condoms on them, I just casually peeled and ate mine. I was generally very well behaved in high school, and it was the only time I ever got sent to the principal's office. Part of me wants to be proud of myself. If you're going to get into trouble in high school, then you might as well do it in style. And it's not everyone who can say they've been lectured for eating a penis banana. ^_~

This might be one of my favourite stories

[Janus the Fox]

7 hours ago, will123 said:

I had a girl call the house a few years after high school. Knew a lot about me but after I started asking a few questions about her she got pissy and hung up. Said her name was Janice, but didn't sound anything like the three Janices I knew growing up or going to school. One that I shared one class in four years of high school likely didn't know I existed. The other two wouldn't have acted like that.

Reads like a Romance Phone Scam to me, but I’m perhaps overly aware of it professionally if nothing more.

[will123]

3 hours ago, Janus DarkFox said:

Reads like a Romance Phone Scam to me, but I’m perhaps overly aware of it professionally if nothing more.

Nowadays possibly but this was back in the early 80s where I doubt they much info about me floating around. 

 

"Where did I go to high school?"

"ECVI"

 

" Do I have any siblings?"

"A brother"

 

"Older or younger"

"Younger"

 

You get the point. It had to be someone who knew me as her replies weren't hesitant, she knew me.

 

I started asking a few questions of my own (for some reason I don't remember any) and finally got her 'name'. I kind of relaxed but could tell she was getting bothered.

 

Her last comment was, "Well if you're going to get pissy about it..." and then hung up.

 

I put the phone up bewildered and told the family (we were eating supper) what had happened. They thought it strange as well.

 

Speaking of romance scams, there was an item on the news about 'lonely' people falling for them during the pandemic.

 

I wonder if those of us that are aromantic and possibly asexual would be less likely to be 'taken in'?

 

I mean a lot of us would be classified as loners by society at the best of times. we arent seeking partners then when we can socialize and we have no need to now.