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you*hear*but*do*you*listen

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Bronztrooper
13 hours ago, Arodash said:

I once told someone that my dog love peanut butter. And they replied "oh I bet you know your dog likes peanut butter" at the time I was like "yeah? I just told you"

 

When later on I understood what waa meant. Eww. Just a thousand times eww. Who comes up with this stuff? Seriously. 

If someone said that to me, I'd probably call them an idiot.

 

Granted my dog isn't a fan of peanut butter, so I guess it doesn't matter in my case

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I remember when I was twelve and asked about my sexuality from two girls I barely knew. I couldn't really answer and just said : " I think I may be bi, but I'm not sure." They must have interpreted it as me unsure if I was interested in girls. Because they suggested if I wanted to try kissing. (Note : they themselves were obviously intimate, but I thought it was normal as I wasn't that experienced in relations. Not jealous having your girlfriend kiss another in front of you?) I got to pick between the girl who was eleven and the one who was sixteen. I picked the one closest to my age and we got out of view of the person supervising. I was slightly nervous as I said I had experience and tried to keep my composure for a peck on the lips. The kiss lasted for a minute and I was surprised when the girl immediately turned it into a french kiss. Well, there went my first and only kiss. I thought I would feel more, but I felt nothing. At the end the girl commented "I would've liked it if you were more forceful." and she gave a few examples like pulling hair, being closer, and etc. I was more interested in the information she was telling me than the act of just kissing. I thought for a while that everybody probably felt nothing when they were intimate with another and couldn't understand so-called relationship issues and thought they were too emotional. Who cares if you even had (Consensual.) sex, but I had no interest personally and that was my only intimate experience. I started to feel I was mentally wrong as I started to learn more because I felt absolutely nothing. People should feel a desire for romance or love right? While they should also feel pleasure from such actions with others or at least emotion? I was a bit stuffy, but I didn't care much and developed a very mild dislike for skin-to-skin contact if I wasn't the one to initiate it. Even grazing of the fingertips got on my nerves, but I couldn't help it if I naturally had a smile since I was in middle school and if they misinterpret. I was once told "Why are you smiling?" when I was cut on the arm with a knife after a trivial quarrel. That sentence haunted me and I thought 'yeah, maybe I'm somehow abnormal.'. I didn't mind death or any 'hard to see' issues. I questioned how a nurse said she couldn't bear watching the doctor perform a surgery and thought she should've been appreciative seeing the surgery up close. On another instance I thought somebody was overreacting after their grandfather passed away and thought 'so what?' when telling me of how their grandfather finally got his diploma before he died of cancer. With everything added together in my early to late teenage years I really questioned if I was too emotionless as even with acquaintances I only felt appreciation and not 'love'. I got over the mild skin-to-skin discomfort quickly realizing it was only a hassle to myself and was asked out 3-4 times, but I was really reluctant to have any contact with the 2 times I decided to try out and it ended within the day. I realized I could not feel any romantic/sexual inclinations with others, but there are other joys. I can easily make myself happy and when looking up 'What is asexual.' my first reaction was refreshed after reading. I realized "yeah, I'm just asexual.". There's nothing wrong with you if you don't react like how you 'should' to certain situations. I feel and am happy, but some people just don't feel as strong as others or react as strongly to certain situations. I randomly feel like dancing in my pj's when in the mood, but I still don't understand the joy and normalization of how people make being with somebody romantically/sexually.

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Strange-quark
On 8/28/2019 at 12:37 AM, Bronztrooper said:

I had a conversation a few weeks ago and someone mentioned a country that had mandatory military training for guys.  Parents would love it not because of patriotism or serving the country, but the attitude they get after leaving.  They have good behavior, etc.  Discipline is good, but there can be too much.  It's just tough to find that balance.

This is kinda off-topic conversation, but Finland's one such country (something I'm pretty ashamed of). I don't know if the above is true since I don't have brothers, but I've never heard people telling me that either (could be just me, though).

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8 minutes ago, Arodash said:

I am actually a supporter of mandatory civil service of some kind when young adults reach maturity, it teaches work ethic, responsibility, discipline and it gives back to community

Then I regularly volunteer here and there.

Got nothing better to do.

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Just now, Arodash said:

It was through volunteering that i found my calling in life

I have 4 years of working at the farmer's market and I might become a horticulturalist seeing how much I learned from them.

Tips, tricks, best fertilizers, soil conditions, shading and best ways to sell plants.

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nerdperson777
2 hours ago, Strange-quark said:

This is kinda off-topic conversation, but Finland's one such country (something I'm pretty ashamed of). I don't know if the above is true since I don't have brothers, but I've never heard people telling me that either (could be just me, though).

I think I said that quote that you quoted.

 

@Z_4 I think I would've acted the same way up until a couple years ago before being involved in the community.  I didn't go as far as kissing, but I remember that I was in 8th grade and I thought I struck up a conversation with a 7th grader so I was just around her and her friends for a week.  I hadn't realized that she and her friends were so dirty minded.  One thing I was asked was if I had my period yet.  I proudly said no, and it actually happened a week later.  She and a friend had another friend repeat what they were saying in single words, so that they couldn't just back out hearing the whole thing at once.  I didn't get why they were saying "penis and vagina unite".  Eventually I got creeped out by this girl and avoided her.  She was in my music class and kept up that charade.  She said that we were going be married and I ran all across the classroom.  The teacher told her to stop doing that, as she knew that I was a very tame, emotionless kid without anyone doing things to me.

I think it must be more than being aro ace, because the robot thing is just a stereotype.  My mom has been a source for a lot of my behavior.  I have PTSD about being touched as the only touch I got was to be beat.  Then she tends to take an all mind, no emotion process to most things.  She herself can study anything she wants and aces it because she can just think, I'll study.  There's no procrastination, or hurdle to getting the studies done.  I used to operate on this for a while until I couldn't handle it anymore.  When I was at my last grandmother's funeral at age 12, I didn't want to be there.  I thought it was a waste of time, at least for me.  There was so much more I could be doing at home, instead of sitting in a chair, an hour away from my house, listening to someone talk about her, then drive to the cemetery, where she gets buried.  Also whenever we went to the area, whether to visit the cemetery for other ancestors or other relatives, it took a whole day.  I didn't feel anything about my grandmother, although my dad decided for me that of all the grandchildren, she spent the most time with me, so I had the best connection with her, and thus, felt the worst.  It may be trauma, but I don't get close to most people.  I can only say that as of now, I got two people in all the people I've met in my life that I've had any sort of feeling for.  I may enjoy hanging out with friends from high school, but I'm not exactly feeling any emotions towards them.  We try to hang out once every month, but other than that, we don't even text.

I do distinguish between care and love.  Those two people I mentioned, I would probably consider using the word love, but certainly not in a romantic or sexual context.  Care is for everyone else.  I would care that my friend got hurt, or whatever, but I'm really feeling that intense emotion that goes along with it.  I'm not really a cruel person.  I do help people whenever I can, but maybe it's just more of a logical thing for me.  I'll help because it's a good thing to do, but the most I'll feel is that I'm personally doing something good for someone, rather than I helped them.  I'll feel good myself for helping others?  But it's not blind helping either.  I don't just BS something and say I helped.  I'll feel good when they're satisfied.

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I basically got free rootbeer, honey and a 15% discount on any plants that I chose to get at first.

Then got paid 30 to 60 dollars almost every time just for 7 hours of work that I personally enjoyed a lot.

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Just now, Arodash said:

Man i'd love free honey. 

Best cure for allergies and flu that actually worked for me.

Raw honey goes great in oatmeal, toast, homemade honey butter sauce, or eating it from a sealed straw.

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1 minute ago, Arodash said:

I use honey in my slow cooker I use it to sweeten my teeth cuz I don't like sugar in my tea I like sugar in my coffee and I also use honey when making chicken I will make a mixture of olive oil and honey with herbs and rub it over the chicken before baking it I live in a state where we can readily get local raw honey

Besides why use processed or refined sugar?

It's far worse for your health and teeth than the naturally occuring sugars. 

Then I avoid store brought honey brands because it's mixed with corn syrup, chemically treated, and heavily filtered to the point where none of the health benefits exists.

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Anthracite_Impreza
4 hours ago, Arodash said:

I am actually a supporter of mandatory civil service of some kind when young adults reach maturity, it teaches work ethic, responsibility, discipline and it gives back to community

I am very much anti anything mandatory unless it's a safety thing (like driving on the correct side of the road and stopping at red lights), especially anything with the tagline of "work ethic".

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12 hours ago, Arodash said:

Man i'd love free honey. 

On an Ace forum? :P:P

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Custard Cream
1 hour ago, Arodash said:

This may be an ace moment for me XD

You're not alone..

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A "Honey" is a colloquialism for someone who's company and favours are purchasable 

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TophatNTails

I had a bit of an ace moment during work. Part of my job involves requisitioning proof copies of books, and there's a special website specifically for that. In the science fiction/fantasy section of this website, there was a disproportionate number of books with covers featuring scantily clad women and men (mostly shirtless men), looking like they're about to...get busy. After looking through this, my only thought was "Why? Why is this a thing? Why do people think this is appropriate to stick on the front cover?" I think the purpose was to make the book seem more appealing (presumably to sexually frustrated middle-aged suburbanites), but it pretty much had the opposite effect on me, and made me not want to touch these books with a ten-foot pole.

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AceMissBehaving

Most of the time doing Burlesque I have to wear pasties (sparkly nipple cover things), but every once in a while, for private gigs, or more adult establishments, pasties aren’t required.

 

I’ve had so many conversations enthusiastically explaining why I’m probably still going to wear pasties each time I get one of these gigs, because who wouldn’t rather see gorgeous gemstone encrusted stars rather than just plain old nipples?

 

Yeah, I only just figured out why I’m alone on team “pasties”, and exactly why that is.

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AceMissBehaving
Just now, Arodash said:

Hey hey gemstones are cool. 

They are way cool! That’s why I feel

they are more exciting.

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AceMissBehaving
15 minutes ago, Arodash said:

I imagine your job must be very fun

It’s a lot of fun, I get to meet, and work with some amazing people, and create some really unique props and costumes.

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Forest Spirit
22 hours ago, SkyenAutowegCaptain said:

A "Honey" is a colloquialism for someone who's company and favours are purchasable 

I am getting the feeling lately that no word is save anymore from being used in a sexual context... I know 'honey' as a pet-name for ones partner which makes sense with the 'you're so sweet' thing but... 'someone who's company and favours are purchasable' ?? Like sure you can see it as 'sweet' but then again you do pay for it so that doesn't really fit together with 'it being sweet of you' in my head.

Do I even want to find a rational explanation?:ph34r: I'll just never understand these things...

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Custard Cream
6 minutes ago, Arodash said:

I find my most ace moments when people turn words into something sexual and I dont realize it yet. Like "really? Did you have to ruin honey for me? Or "thats not what waffles are for"

 

Waffles are meant to be drenched in maple syrup and eaten people.  And oh goodness even that could be turned around we are going deeper into the rabbit hole. 

 

Nothing is safe.

Nothing is sacred.

Run! Just run!!!!!

I'm.... not sure I fancy waffles for breakfast any more....

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2 hours ago, Quasar.w said:

I am getting the feeling lately that no word is save anymore from being used in a sexual context... I know 'honey' as a pet-name for ones partner which makes sense with the 'you're so sweet' thing but... 'someone who's company and favours are purchasable' ?? Like sure you can see it as 'sweet' but then again you do pay for it so that doesn't really fit together with 'it being sweet of you' in my head.

Do I even want to find a rational explanation?:ph34r: I'll just never understand these things...

I've seen 'nectar' used in smut scenes.

 

No flowers were ever involved

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Forest Spirit
5 hours ago, Arodash said:

I find my most ace moments when people turn words into something sexual and I dont realize it yet. Like "really? Did you have to ruin honey for me? Or "thats not what waffles are for"

 

Waffles are meant to be drenched in maple syrup and eaten people.  And oh goodness even that could be turned around we are going deeper into the rabbit hole. 

 

Nothing is safe.

Nothing is sacred.

Run! Just run!!!!!

3 hours ago, Bronztrooper said:

I've seen 'nectar' used in smut scenes.

 

No flowers were ever involved

Hmmmm.... I think I'll follow Arodash's advice and just.... RUN:lol: (without the happy face though)

75f8e6ebe49ba9f6733d1099e1aaa097.gif

@fooledbysecrecy someone explained the "famous" emoji-series which includes an egg-plant once and my reaction was just 'aha... so creative ^sarcasm^'

 

I have to admit that I forget such "information" quite quickly because I just can't see the sense in it at all. Metaphors, sure. Puns, sure. Whatever this even is, nope. Is it even an euphemism if the level of ridiculous and unnecessary and just 'what??'-ness is that high?:ph34r:

 

Edit: and I find it weird that such stuff is popular and ok but then you get news of Twitter and Facebook (I think) deleting adds for a book about vaginal health if they feature the medical (!) word vagina or vaginal... like what even!?

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5 hours ago, fooledbysecrecy said:

david tennant is me

What jumped out at me was why do they all have beards? Is that the trend for middle-aged guys these days? :P 

 

(and now I have to be careful about which emojis I use)

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I had a beard when I was much younger (in my 20s), but while I do not like shaving I much prefer not to have a beard. I tend to not shave when I'm not going out, because of dislike of shaving and because of laziness. But I rarely go more than a couple of days without shaving. If not having a beard means I am not a "real man" I don't care. :P (there have been any number of times in my life when people told me I wasn't a "real man" because I was into art, wasn't into sports, didn't smoke, didn't drink, didn't chase women, didn't use curse words liberally, etc., etc., etc. People can be dumb.)

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Facial hair is just plain annoying to me. Any hair besides that on my head grows somewhat slowly so it looks terrible. It’s also annoying to have to maintain it so off it goes. I don’t like the feeling of it being on my face either. Furthermore, I still have minor problems with periodic singular acne sores so it’ll get in the way of treating those. 

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Forest Spirit

I really like well-kept beards in an aesthetic sense but have seen the unwanted extra effort, something similar was the reason for cutting my hair short😅

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8 hours ago, daveb said:

If not having a beard means I am not a "real man" I don't care. :P (there have been any number of times in my life when people told me I wasn't a "real man" because I was into art, wasn't into sports, didn't smoke, didn't drink, didn't chase women, didn't use curse words liberally, etc., etc., etc. People can be dumb.)

The same for me as far as the bolded part goes

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Anthracite_Impreza

I mean, I'd like a beard for the novelty, but I'm fairly sure it'd piss me off after a while.

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Anthracite_Impreza
1 minute ago, Arodash said:

You'd be able to store ramen noodles in a large on though. Think about it XD that would be the 1 reason why I want a beard. Noodlesss

I don't like noodles :c I just want one so I can pass; even a bit of stubble would help >.<

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Anthracite_Impreza
1 minute ago, Arodash said:

You dont like noodles!? *gasps in horror* thats okay lol and yeah stubble is fun. 

I can name more things I won't eat than will, I'm incredibly picky.

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