Incredibly Ace Moments

[Shay21]

Well my best friend and I went to see Magic Mike XXL, and instead of getting all hot and bothered we basically sat there and laughed at everything. So we get back to my house and my mom asks how it was:

 

Me: We laughed the whole time.

Mom: *sighs* Seriously?

Me: Yes! The movie was so pointless, the plot made zero sense. Like is there really a male strippers convention that is so important?!

Mom: That's not the point! No one cares about the plot, they care about the hot men on the screen! Especially that real tall one, the things I would do to him...

Me: -__-

[will123]

10 hours ago, Shay21 said:

 

Mom: That's not the point! No one cares about the plot, they care about the hot men on the screen! Especially that real tall one, the things I would do to him...

Me: -__-

Shay (to herself): I really didn't need to hear that!

[Shay21]

2 hours ago, will123 said:

Shay (to herself): I really didn't need to hear that!

That's exactly what I was thinking! xD

[Bronztrooper]

Not really a specific moment, but two of my friends online are pretty sexual (both straight, man and woman and no, they aren't together) and they like to make jokes and innuendos as well as posting and talking about pics that they consider 'hot'.  Despite not really having an opinion on any of it, I can still get a good idea of whether or not something I come across randomly while online would be something they'd approve of.  And sometimes I'll send it to them.

 

Then there are the times when they're flooding WhatsApp with those kinds of pics (my group of friends is mostly attracted to men, one of them being gay, while my straight male friend is the main one attracted to women) and I'm just sitting there watching as they post and comment on pic after pic just being bored and uninterested.

 

That has happened multiple times and I don't expect it to stop.  And, tbh, they get the same way about DC and Marvel as well and I have the same reaction, so it's not like it particularly bothers me.

[nerdperson777]

On 4/1/2018 at 2:08 AM, nerdperson777 said:

Looks like my "siblings" have had relationships before me.  My first dog had a golden retriever girlfriend who moved away a couple years ago.  Now my current dog has a rottweiler boyfriend according to my dad.  The rottweiler is only a year old so my dog likes younger guys?

Part 2 of the conversation

Me: what makes that dog her boyfriend?

Dad: They play together, wrestle together, lick each other.  (there's probably more things he said but I don't remember)

Me: You don't wrestle mom, how do you know?

 

My mom is a twig who bruises easily and would break with the slightest amount of force.

 

29 minutes ago, Bronztrooper said:

Despite not really having an opinion on any of it, I can still get a good idea of whether or not something I come across randomly while online would be something they'd approve of.  And sometimes I'll send it to them.

 

Then there are the times when they're flooding WhatsApp with those kinds of pics (my group of friends is mostly attracted to men, one of them being gay, while my straight male friend is the main one attracted to women) and I'm just sitting there watching as they post and comment on pic after pic just being bored and uninterested.

I have a similar situation.  I have a late trans friend, I was the perfect shopping buddy.  I always knew what she wanted in terms of style.  We would go to the mall, and I'd find some nice plain clothing that she would actually wonder if she wanted.  I guess my mom wears plain clothes, or plaid, so I acquired how to shop for my mom, which coincidentally is what my friend looks for too.  I don't experience aesthetic attraction, so I'm just using my logic brain to pick out these things.

 

I was winning many straight (haha, ironic) games on a public Cards Against Humanity game maybe two weeks ago so I thought I was getting a hang of what most people think about and find humorous.  But that was two weeks ago.  I haven't won a game since then.  It tracks how many wins and losses players have so I've been trying to get my 100th win for a while.  The lose count tends to be high because most games have 5 people and only one can win.

[Camicon]

Few years back, my friends and I were getting lunch at uni, and the conversation turned to erect penis length as determined by flaccid length when compared to the size of one's hands. Well I got tired of the conversation and decided to end it so we could talk about something else, so I said "depends on if you're a grower or a shower". I was met with a series of blank faces, and patiently explained that some penises are relatively small when they are flaccid and grow quite a bit when erect, and others stay at roughly the same length regardless; the size of someone's penis when flaccid, even when compared against the size of their hand, did not correlate to the size of their penis when erect.

 

Apparently this was quite hilarious, because they spent the next several minutes howling with laughter. When one of them finally stopped gasping for breath, they informed me that what I said was hilarious because I, of all people, was the one who said it. I guess they knew I was ace before I did.

[nerdperson777]

I work at a weight loss clinic and read patient files.  We're really into the intersectionality of medicine and technology so we (well, at least the ones who see patients) are always available to contact outside of appointments.  I found some former patient that was TMI in her chats with the providers.  Several times I looked at these chats and I find "I missed my period, I might be pregnant".  Then "I just got my period, not pregnant".  It was stated that the weight loss program can mess with cycles but I guess I'm just being a judgy ace that someone could be using the chat for this.  It's mostly for smaller questions that don't need to be answered by going to an appointment.  I guess I feel like one shouldn't announce it until they're sure?  Especially when they're saying it several times.  My reaction to this is probably very ace, like huh?? What am I reading?

[Losttothehoping]

Just had a moment where I almost blurted something I suspect may have been taken the wrong way if I hadn't checked myself.

 

So I take the bus to work every morning at 7 AM.  There's this security guard Lady that also does so.  I've noticed her because she gets on at my stop and I like looking at humans because humans are brilliant.  This lady, I realize today, is very symmetrical and aesthetically pleasing.  She's got these high cheek bones and a sharp jawline.  It's all very wonderful in my opinion.  I almost told her this.  But then I thought, 'wait, would that be considered creepy?  Am I being creepy?  I'm probably being creepy'.  I'm not sure if this moment technically follows the incredibly Ace moments category, but I suspect other people don't have to actually wonder if they're being creepy or not, so... There you have it.

[Lemonsky]

While watching a film where there were two full sex scenes I had to look away after a very short while. I didn't find anything that would separate that kind of film scenes from pornography.

[will123]

2 hours ago, Lemonsky said:

While watching a film where there were two full sex scenes I had to look away after a very short while. I didn't find anything that would separate that kind of film scenes from pornography.

If I'm alone at home or by myself in a theatre, a sex or makeout scene in a movie doesn't bother me. If I'm with someone I can't watch it. I know it doesn't make sense but it really upsets me.

[Bronztrooper]

6 minutes ago, will123 said:

If I'm alone at home or by myself in a theatre, a sex or makeout scene in a movie doesn't bother me. If I'm with someone I can't watch it. I know it doesn't make sense but it really upsets me.

Could it be that you see it in a similar way to porn?  In that if someone is watching it with you it is uncomfortable but alone it's not a problem.

[will123]

1 hour ago, Bronztrooper said:

Could it be that you see it in a similar way to porn?  In that if someone is watching it with you it is uncomfortable but alone it's not a problem.

I think it's more like I'm afraid that I will react some way and the other person will see it.

[Bronztrooper]

26 minutes ago, will123 said:

I think it's more like I'm afraid that I will react some way and the other person will see it.

Ah, fair enough

[NicosBizarreAdventure]

Here's my story:

 

In college, I was doing a project that required me to recruit classmates to play a video game I made. This one guy volunteered, so we went down to the office where I had everything set up. The door was supposed to be unlocked, but was locked for some reason. After going through a lot of hassle to get it open, someone finally managed to unlock it and we went inside. He shut the door and I said, genuinely concerned, "Oh, I hope we don't get stuck in here." His response was a half-laughing "Whoa!" which was quickly shut down with my blank, non-understanding stare ("No, like, what if we get locked in? How do we get out???"). This was apparently an innuendo? xD

[Ms. Carolynne]

23 hours ago, will123 said:

If I'm alone at home or by myself in a theatre, a sex or makeout scene in a movie doesn't bother me. If I'm with someone I can't watch it. I know it doesn't make sense but it really upsets me.

 

21 hours ago, will123 said:

I think it's more like I'm afraid that I will react some way and the other person will see it.

I can relate, sexual stuff is harder to watch around other people.

 

For me, I become self-conscious about how I react, how others may perceive my reaction, and how I'm "supposed" to react.

 

I basically overthink it, while feeling displaced because it's in no way appealing to me.

 

In more concise terms, it's just awkward.

[will123]

46 minutes ago, G1P0 said:

 

I can relate, sexual stuff is harder to watch around other people.

 

For me, I become self-conscious about how I react, how others may perceive my reaction, and how I'm "supposed" to react.

 

In more concise terms, it's just awkward.

You know EXACTLY how I feel! 

[Amy94]

I just came back from watching Love, Simon with a friend of mine. I'm aro and ace,  but since a large issue in the movie is coming out I thought it would be interesting.

At one point, the main characters dad thought Grindr was "Facebook for gay people". I know it's not, but does anyone know what Grindr is???

 

Ps Love, Simon was hilarious 

[roland.o]

13 minutes ago, Amy94 said:

At one point, the main characters dad thought Grindr was "Facebook for gay people". I know it's not, but does anyone know what Grindr is???

It's Facebook for (male) gay people. Or, to quote their website: "THE WORLD’S LARGEST SOCIAL NETWORKING APP FOR GAY, BI, TRANS, AND QUEER PEOPLE."

 

"What is Grindr? A Parent's Guide": https://www.lifewire.com/grindr-4156867

[nerdperson777]

I thought Grindr was Tindr for gay people.  Roland's definition seems different..

[will123]

1 hour ago, nerdperson777 said:

I thought Grindr was Tindr for gay people.  Roland's definition seems different..

Same here. It has been mentioned in a serial murder case in Toronto involving a gay suspect and victims. I had never heard of it.

 

I went to a Judas Priest concert (the lead singer Rob Halford is gay) and after hearing the song Grinder I thought I'll think of it in a different way now.

[Amy94]

On 28/03/2018 at 9:41 PM, Amy94 said:

I thought of two more recent ones that happened in college.

 

1. Talking to  a boy after an exam

Him "how are you getting home?"

me " i'm taking the bus, i do it every night"

him 'oh, would you like me to walk you to the bus stop now?"

Me "why? I know where it is, I use it everyday"

Him (suddenly acting strange) " right,OK, bye then!"

 

2. Boy in class

Boy: I missed the notes from last week, can you email them to me?"

Me "sure (passes diary) just write down your email address and I'll send it to you. And I'll give you my mobile number in case I forget"

the next class, the boy,  who was previously sitting behind me is now in the seat right next to mine, smiling at me. I panicked and moved across the room, saying I liked the desks over there better (yes, they were all the same desks. I panicked. )

I think I gave him the wrong idea when I gave him my phone number. He's been avoiding me since. 

 

Bonus ace moment

My mum was coming in and out as I wrote this, she doesn't know I'm ace and I closed this tab and switched to Facebook everytime she passed by. 

The boy in the second story met me as I was leaving college and insisted on walking with me to the bus stop. I didn't say much, but he laughed at everything I said, even if it was just yes or no . He kept waving at me when we went our separate ways.  

I don't know of he is just really really friendly or something g else anymore....

[SallyBlackwater]

Today I went to the cinema to watch "A Quiet Place". It was overall a nice movie, but there was this one thing that I just couldn't overlook and really influenced my opinion on the film.

 

Spoiler

So, in this film the world is overrun by definitely unfriendly creatures that are blind, but have exceptionally good hearing and will attack humans or animals if they make almost any sound. It is shown that the only way to be able to get away with making noise is to have as background noise something louder. The main characters are a man and his wife and children. With that said, at some point in the movie there's a time skip of over one year, and the first character you see after that is the wife, who is now pregnant. Pregnant. Soon to give birth to a baby. In a world where you almost can't make any sound or you get killed. 

This made me wonder: is it really plausible that some allosexuals have such a need for sex that it overrides their need to be safe? In this case, the act itself would have been risky despite all the possible precautions. If you think that one of the consequences could be a pregnancy, it just seems quite irresponsible since it puts the whole family at risk.

Given the adults' stupidity, I'm surprised that the family survived for more than a week. 

 

[SilverForestFae]

On 3/7/2018 at 6:01 PM, Miss Who said:

Truth.

Once my cousin showed me a picture of her best friend shirtless, and I promptly grabbed her pillow and hid my face in it.

Haha! Yessss!

[nerdperson777]

9 minutes ago, SilverForestFae said:

Haha! Yessss!

Actually, doesn't the pillow give the opposite effect?  It can be misconstrued to mean that the pillow is to hide blushing.

[SilverForestFae]

1 minute ago, nerdperson777 said:

Actually, doesn't the pillow give the opposite effect?  It can be misconstrued to mean that the pillow is to hide blushing.

I honestly didn't even think about that haha I literally just imagined you being like "ughhhhh" as you covered your poor eyes from the onslaught of half naked men

 

Most people probably would think that though :/ that's one of the main reasons I dislike being in situations like that is because I blush super easy (and never for that reason. It really is just embarrassment for me) and I'm always like "nooooo don't think that of me!"

[nerdperson777]

1 minute ago, SilverForestFae said:

I honestly didn't even think about that haha I literally just imagined you being like "ughhhhh" as you covered your poor eyes from the onslaught of half naked men

 

Most people probably would think that though :/ that's one of the main reasons I dislike being in situations like that is because I blush super easy (and never for that reason. It really is just embarrassment for me) and I'm always like "nooooo don't think that of me!"

I don't think I blush that often but I think my face overheats easily.  I think when I exercise I'm quite red.

[SilverForestFae]

31 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

I don't think I blush that often but I think my face overheats easily.  I think when I exercise I'm quite red.

I used to blush soooo super much it was awful, but that's social anxiety for you

 

[AiUdin]

My friend tagged me in a stupid unilad article earlier called “terrifying things that can happen when you don’t have sex”. He doesn’t know anything about me being ace, so I guess it was meant to be a joke? But not having sex is basically what I’m going for. It didn’t bother me anyway, I just thought if only he knew

Also the article was a load of bollocks anyway.

[Aza159]

On 1/10/2009 at 8:43 AM, evilminininja said:

Oh god... I have had plenty of ace moments:

1) I was in fourth grade and some I was introduced to the phrase "screw you." During gym, we were playing some form of dodgeball which I kick ass in, and everytime i hit a person i said screw you, which was everyone in the class. Afterwards I was humiliated when everyone was laughing at me asking "do you even know what that means?" Yikes, traumatizing!

2) Convo:

frined "why don't you date? So may guys like you"

Me "I don't date guys"

Friend "Oh... so you're gay..."

Me" What?"

From then, I have learned to phrase my sentences much better.

3) Yesterday:

Guy"Okay, here is a dirty pick up line: Hey, my ears are cold, let me use your thighs as earmuffs"

Me

Girl "Hahaha, stupid evilminininja! You don't get any, do you? nerd"<--- we are friends and she jokes with me all the time.

4) Pretty much every day in high school and middle school. There are so many new words that mean stuff I don't know. Like aflac, chode (ugh, i almost threw up at that one) and a million more that I just stopped caring. I like living in my own little head and having the highest grades...

Chode? Sometimes I understand sexual innuendos and tease a specific friend with them (she has a boyfriend and they're not bad but I swear all they do is kiss. The other day I went to my JLC class *rotc for college, jrotc for high school for anyone who doesn't know how what it is* to check if they needed me to put up the flags, I walked in on them eating faces on the left side of the room so I just gave them a weird creeped out look and saw three of my other friends huddled in the far upper right corner of the room. I sorta speed walked to them to find them muttering about the other two and noticed they were timing them. Apparently they'd been there for a minute just kissing. I ended up suggesting just straight up running out of the room to leave them and see if our Sargeant found them. Our only male friend counted down to five and we half ran half walked through the sea of tables grabbed the flags on our way out and ran for a little bit more before she caught up with us.) I'm the only one who really teases her about it though, but most of the time I just find openings and say something about them eating faces.

Edited April 7, 2018 by Aza159
Accidentally posted without finishing

[moonbrain]

I know sex drive isnt the same for all aces but I had what i consider an ace moment the other day, where I was talking to a friend

*warning for mentions of Cleaning The Pipes™ 

and we got on the topic of my asexuality and he was low key curious and asking questions, and then it came to sex drive (do I ever feel The Need™)

I was like yeah, sure, rarely but all aces are different

and hes like "so you don't feel sexual frustration or?"

and I was like "well what do you mean by sexual frustration?"

and he went on to explain it as almost like withdrawals from sex

like you get cranky, stressed, etc., your body in general just an actual reaction to not cleaning the pipes or having sex 

now, I'm a very sexually educated person, but I didn't even know this was a thing nor have I ever felt it