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Incredibly Ace Moments


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not_all_who_wander

We had to read a poem we liked out loud out of a book in grad school. I read a poem that I thought was about someone craving water and looking for it during a terrible drought. Turns out it was actually someone complaining about not having sex during a dry spell. The entendres seemed obvious to me...after my classmates pointed them out. That was awkward 

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22 hours ago, Strange_Charms said:

Being so oblivious to sexual tension that not only do other people have to tell me that there is sexual tension between 2 ppl, but still failing to see it.

 

Like, but they're just standing there? Yeah, they're staring at each other, but 'bedroom eyes?' Um, w h a t ???

“Bedroom Eyes”? That’s a real thing?

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5 hours ago, will123 said:

Were you near Pearson, Toronto's international airport...

In New Jersey, actually

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2 minutes ago, Bronztrooper said:

In New Jersey, actually

The reason I jokingly asked is that several years ago after arriving back to Toronto on a flight, the bus driver took the most circuitous route to get to the Park & Fly lot. I'm pretty sure we passed three of the 'adult entertainment' establishments that are in the area.

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20 minutes ago, Arodash said:

Single pringle and not wanting to mingle. Lol

LOL

 

I used to say to friends or co-workers that I hadn't seen in years when asked about my marital status, "Happily or unhappily single depending on who you talk to".

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Mighty One Sam

I'm not sure if this qualifies as a moment or blowing off steam. Just the feeling when people know you are a sex repulsed ace and just dump you in the middle of highly sexual content. Then when you try to explain why that hurt it's just *shrug*

 

It's like, either you don't realize how much this content distresses me or you don't really care.

 

I mean, if I'm told beforehand that this stuff is going to happen then I have the choice to avoid it. I know it can't be avoided all the time, but if people know there is a high chance that they are going to present sexual content then a little warning doesn't hurt.

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On 9/14/2019 at 6:09 AM, Arodash said:

When I stare at someone i'm trying to gaze into their soul to find their weaknesses. MEOWHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA 

Are you an evil cat? @Arodash

 

MrTinkles+2.jpg

 

Come on, be honest, this is really you isn't it!

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not_all_who_wander

I'm not exactly sure if this is because I am ace, but I can never tell when someone is hitting on me. Ever. This one time a guy in our dorm tried to invite me to a speed dating event and said that "I seemed like the kind of awesome girl he'd like to meet at the event and I should come" and my brain somehow translated that as "He must be organizing the event or something and he's trying to get everyone to go. He must be short on people participating." (he wasn't) I decided I needed to finish my homework. Then about four weeks later it occurred to me that he had been leaning towards me and otherwise making flirty gestures and i guess I had rejected him without realizing it.

 

I've got some other stories like that too, but I think I miss the signals most of the time.

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not_all_who_wander

Also, sitting at a campus ministry event where the speaker was talking about how everyone is faced with "sexual temptation" at our age. I remember thinking "Ummm....no?" I always hate that kind of sermon anyway because I find it awkward and think it doesn't focus on the main point of Christianity, but I was always kind of confused why it was such a big deal all the church people had to warn us about.

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40 minutes ago, not_all_who_wander said:

I'm not exactly sure if this is because I am ace, but I can never tell when someone is hitting on me. Ever. This one time a guy in our dorm tried to invite me to a speed dating event and said that "I seemed like the kind of awesome girl he'd like to meet at the event and I should come" and my brain somehow translated that as "He must be organizing the event or something and he's trying to get everyone to go. He must be short on people participating." (he wasn't) I decided I needed to finish my homework. Then about four weeks later it occurred to me that he had been leaning towards me and otherwise making flirty gestures and i guess I had rejected him without realizing it.

 

I've got some other stories like that too, but I think I miss the signals most of the time.

Enh, from what I could gather, most people have trouble picking up on whether or not someone is flirting with them, though I'd figure that aces would be especially bad at it

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Having a conversation about Sam Smith now using gender neutral pronouns to describe themselves. I said "Well, I don't really go in for heing and sheing people anyway" 

There was a brief pause, then someone replied "that's always been the wsy with you", cue considerable laughter 

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20 hours ago, not_all_who_wander said:

Also, sitting at a campus ministry event where the speaker was talking about how everyone is faced with "sexual temptation" at our age. I remember thinking "Ummm....no?" I always hate that kind of sermon anyway because I find it awkward and think it doesn't focus on the main point of Christianity, but I was always kind of confused why it was such a big deal all the church people had to warn us about.

I always found it amusing that I followed the “positive” moral guidelines of many religions way better than most people who actually adhered to the dogma. I don’t drink alcohol, have promiscuous sex, do drugs, cheat/commit adultery, etc. I didn’t understand how it was so hard to not do that stuff if people actually believed in their religion so fervently. Like it’s not that hard and I don’t even have the punishment of eternal damnation hanging over me to incentivize me. I thought, “Surely believers would be more pious.” Nope, guess not.

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21 hours ago, not_all_who_wander said:

I'm not exactly sure if this is because I am ace, but I can never tell when someone is hitting on me. Ever. This one time a guy in our dorm tried to invite me to a speed dating event and said that "I seemed like the kind of awesome girl he'd like to meet at the event and I should come" and my brain somehow translated that as "He must be organizing the event or something and he's trying to get everyone to go. He must be short on people participating." (he wasn't) I decided I needed to finish my homework. Then about four weeks later it occurred to me that he had been leaning towards me and otherwise making flirty gestures and i guess I had rejected him without realizing it.

 

I've got some other stories like that too, but I think I miss the signals most of the time.

That’s exactly how I’d interpret it. To my brain, that sort of stuff sounds like general encouragement as if the person was organizing the event and trying to get people to attend, not an attempt to hit on me. I feel kinda ****ty after realizing I may have accidentally rejected someone cause I must’ve come off as super cold. Any action looks chillingly deliberate and decisive when you don’t even have the awareness necessary to pick up on and therefore deliberate over the most obvious of signals. 

 

People don’t have to be ace to be dense but I feel like my density is on another level entirely due to being ace. There’s a difference between missing some subtle hints and basically accidentally stonewalling someone who is doing nearly everything in their power short of a confession to tell you they’re available and want you at that moment like I did once.

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On 9/16/2019 at 8:55 PM, not_all_who_wander said:

Also, sitting at a campus ministry event where the speaker was talking about how everyone is faced with "sexual temptation" at our age. I remember thinking "Ummm....no?" I always hate that kind of sermon anyway because I find it awkward and think it doesn't focus on the main point of Christianity, but I was always kind of confused why it was such a big deal all the church people had to warn us about.

I agree 110% with this sentiment. Other teens my age are mostly trying to tell me that I’m in a phase and will be like them in the future, while everyone that’s older than me is trying to tell me about how that is something that is inevitable.

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2 hours ago, Laplace said:

That’s exactly how I’d interpret it. To my brain, that sort of stuff sounds like general encouragement as if the person was organizing the event and trying to get people to attend, not an attempt to hit on me. I feel kinda ****ty after realizing I may have accidentally rejected someone cause I must’ve come off as super cold. Any action looks chillingly deliberate and decisive when you don’t even have the awareness necessary to pick up on and therefore deliberate over the most obvious of signals. 

 

People don’t have to be ace to be dense but I feel like my density is on another level entirely due to being ace. There’s a difference between missing some subtle hints and basically accidentally stonewalling someone who is doing nearly everything in their power short of a confession to tell you they’re available and want you at that moment like I did once.

The idea of other teens being interested in sex never popped up into my mind until it became the only thing that people in my school would talk about. I once told a girl that asked me about sex that I thought that it was disgusting and her face looked like I told her that one of her siblings was brutally murdered or something. I’ve had people in my school argue with me because they thought that it was impossible to have not masturbated (at the time of that argument I wasn’t even aware of the concept of it, but merely argued because I figured that if I didn’t know why something was chances are that I hadn’t ever done it). My first year and a half of high school I was more oblivious to anything sexually related than a rock on the moon.

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When all your friends are freaking out over a shirtless celebrity and you only care about the other group member's cute dog update

because he's cute and I wanna share LOL

Spoiler

 

I'm laughing. This happened at the concert too. Two of them went shirtless and everyone lost their mind and I was only screaming at the first guy because his stage was beautiful and I liked his dancing (and him), and the other guy I just listened to his song and chanted along with the fans 😆 I really didn't think about them being half naked and right in front of me. I know everyone is attracted to different things, but it blows my mind how mostly everyone is drooling over his body but then only a very small percent actual care about him as an artist? 👀 

 

Anyway I hope one of my friends doesn't DM me about it though because I have nothing to say ??? Besides a fake and robotic, "Oh his body is nice" Seems like my aesthetic attraction stops at the face :lol:

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On 9/16/2019 at 7:55 PM, not_all_who_wander said:

Also, sitting at a campus ministry event where the speaker was talking about how everyone is faced with "sexual temptation" at our age. I remember thinking "Ummm....no?" I always hate that kind of sermon anyway because I find it awkward and think it doesn't focus on the main point of Christianity, but I was always kind of confused why it was such a big deal all the church people had to warn us about.

I felt the same way about this. One of the leaders of my youth group gave this whole talk telling us all to dress modestly because apparently otherwise we'd be making it harder for each other to resist temptation. I really thought she was overdoing it at the time; sometimes I felt uncomfortable when people were showing a lot of skin, but it wasn't tempting or anything for me. 

 

I don't know how common it is in other churches or families, but the modesty thing actually came up a lot in mine. There was also the time this boy asked me a couple of inappropriate questions on a dare from his friends, which was super cringy, and when I told my mom she asked if I was sure it wasn't because my jeans were too tight. Which honestly made me a little mad because even if they had been, it didn't feel like it should make any difference. 

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On 9/16/2019 at 9:55 PM, not_all_who_wander said:

Also, sitting at a campus ministry event where the speaker was talking about how everyone is faced with "sexual temptation" at our age. I remember thinking "Ummm....no?" I always hate that kind of sermon anyway because I find it awkward and think it doesn't focus on the main point of Christianity, but I was always kind of confused why it was such a big deal all the church people had to warn us about.

Can relate. I always wondered why people couldn't just control themselves. I mean, I could so how hard could it be?

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As far as ace moments go, I cant tell when someone is flirting with me to the point where I've gone on dates thinking that the guy just wanted to see a movie or eat a meal with a friend (this happened three times) and not realized until years later or until someone pointed it out to me.* 

I also don't understand a lot of jokes and when I ask for them to be explained people look at me like I've suddenly grown a second head. Once they manage to explain it in terms I understand I feel sick and horrified. 

When my parents tried to give me the "sex talk" I was sick, horrified, and would have physically run away if I hadn't thought they would have put me in therapy; the only way I got through it was by spacing out and reciting a book in my head. 

I see sex as a very violent activity.

Generally my whole life is a series of ace moments.

 

* I literally had the realization regarding the third instance as I was writing this

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9 hours ago, BlueSpruce said:

I felt the same way about this. One of the leaders of my youth group gave this whole talk telling us all to dress modestly because apparently otherwise we'd be making it harder for each other to resist temptation. I really thought she was overdoing it at the time; sometimes I felt uncomfortable when people were showing a lot of skin, but it wasn't tempting or anything for me. 

 

I don't know how common it is in other churches or families, but the modesty thing actually came up a lot in mine. There was also the time this boy asked me a couple of inappropriate questions on a dare from his friends, which was super cringy, and when I told my mom she asked if I was sure it wasn't because my jeans were too tight. Which honestly made me a little mad because even if they had been, it didn't feel like it should make any difference. 

I remember my middle school being like that. I remember my school getting everyone into one room and telling the girls “boys aren’t hugging you to be hugging you”, 5 years later and I still have no clue why they were meaning with that (I’m a guy and I like hugging people that I know). My 8th grade US history teacher spent the last day of school giving a bunch of advice to my class, half of which was him telling the girls in my class that guys are stupid and to not waste time on us. In my experience, I have the opposite reaction to girls wearing clothes that show a lot of skin to what seems to be expected (I’d prefer to be looking at a blank wall than having part of a girl’s boobs or legs even in my peripheral vision).

 

I remember about a year ago complaining about how a lot of girls in my school where shorts that are so short that they can wear a slightly long t-shirt that barely reaches their thighs and you can’t see their shorts. The response that I got back was “what’s supposed to be wrong with that?”.

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The other day I was driving and my eyes locked onto a child that was walking on the sidewalk with family.  I realized that they were wearing ace colors.

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I think I'm understanding something about holes in trousers right now. 

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On 9/18/2019 at 7:56 PM, Darth Plagueis the Wise said:

I remember my middle school being like that. I remember my school getting everyone into one room and telling the girls “boys aren’t hugging you to be hugging you”, 5 years later and I still have no clue why they were meaning with that (I’m a guy and I like hugging people that I know). My 8th grade US history teacher spent the last day of school giving a bunch of advice to my class, half of which was him telling the girls in my class that guys are stupid and to not waste time on us. In my experience, I have the opposite reaction to girls wearing clothes that show a lot of skin to what seems to be expected (I’d prefer to be looking at a blank wall than having part of a girl’s boobs or legs even in my peripheral vision).

 

I remember about a year ago complaining about how a lot of girls in my school where shorts that are so short that they can wear a slightly long t-shirt that barely reaches their thighs and you can’t see their shorts. The response that I got back was “what’s supposed to be wrong with that?”.

I feel like I just have this occasional knee-jerk negative reaction to too much skin being shown due to playing so many video games and watching so many shows. For character designs, I often find myself thinking that too much skin was a cheap, lazy way to make a character seem more appealing on a very basic level. I just find more more modest outfits more interesting.

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2 hours ago, Laplace said:

I feel like I just have this occasional knee-jerk negative reaction to too much skin being shown due to playing so many video games and watching so many shows. For character designs, I often find myself thinking that too much skin was a cheap, lazy way to make a character seem more appealing on a very basic level. I just find more more modest outfits more interesting.

The way I think about it is whether or not the outfit makes sense for the character in question.  If the character is a 'I do what I want' kind of character that doesn't really care about what others think, then a revealing outfit may be in character for them.  But if they're a very conservative/shy/introverted character, a revealing outfit would not be in character and I'll be pretty annoyed about it.

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Strange_Charms
On 9/14/2019 at 10:14 PM, Darth Plagueis the Wise said:

“Bedroom Eyes”? That’s a real thing?

Apparently mate, it's news to me

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I went to my city's Oktoberfest yesterday and the band played a song that goes something like "I'm single, I'm single, I'm single, I don't give a fck about it". Highlight of the day.😂

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This was a few weeks ago.  The agender person I knew was having their last day around before going to Europe for grad school.  This girl and I were waiting outside for them.  Lately she's been upping the dirty jokes.  I jokingly peered through the crack in the double doors.  She joked that I was a Peeping Tom and it took me a few seconds before I said, "wait a minute..."

 

Next on the odd sexual stories with energy people, the guy said that the universe must be giving him trials by putting all those attractive women there, especially while he's working.  Instead of giving into the temptation, he says to think of anime.  The girl agreed to that is what she does.  So they're thinking about dirty anime.  And there I was thinking all those pervy anime was only watched by people who only look at anime for the sex and aren't actually anime lovers.

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On 9/14/2019 at 8:14 PM, Darth Plagueis the Wise said:

“Bedroom Eyes”? That’s a real thing?

 

12 hours ago, Strange_Charms said:

Apparently mate, it's news to me

Everyone else’s definition of bedroom eyes: 😏😉😚

My definition: 😴😴😴

 

I have a very literal interpretation. If I’m going to bed, I’m closing my eyes and going to sleep. 🙃

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fooledbysecrecy
1 hour ago, Laplace said:

 

Everyone else’s definition of bedroom eyes: 😏😉😚

My definition: 😴😴😴

 

I have a very literal interpretation. If I’m going to bed, I’m closing my eyes and going to sleep. 🙃

lmao exactly!

i'd say i'm very good in bed, today i even napped a few hours on top of the normal night's sleep.

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