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Incredibly Ace Moments


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6 minutes ago, fooledbysecrecy said:

i've never understood when people say someone has a 'great arse'. i mean it's good to have some natural cushioning for sitting down.. but especially when i was younger i just thought ...but that's where your poo comes out of.

Agreed. I found this extremely confusing when I first came across it. I have since learned some general idea of what is generally considered more and less attractive in that region of the body, but when you first hear it, the idea really seems gross. 

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Bronztrooper
2 hours ago, fooledbysecrecy said:

i've never understood when people say someone has a 'great arse'. i mean it's good to have some natural cushioning for sitting down.. but especially when i was younger i just thought ...but that's where your poo comes out of.

For me, I just thought "Ok.... that's a butt."  Never really understood what qualifies as a 'great butt' and I doubt I ever will.

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The *Great Arse* and the attraction to butts purportedly dates back from when bipeds evolved from quadrupeds. In most quadrupeds the female genitalia is clearly present just below the anus, hence the butt cheeks are a primary source of attraction. Likewise there is a school of thought that suggests female human breasts, close up, are designed to mimic butt cheeks for the same purpose 

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4 hours ago, SkyenAutowegCaptain said:

The *Great Arse* [...] female human breasts, close up, are designed to mimic butt cheeks for the same purpose 

In hindsight by complete failure to understand why anyone would be attracted to posteriors or breasts probably should have allowed me to find asexuality sooner.

 

My line of thinking went like this:

I know why, the theory goes, that males are attracted to the aforementioned areas, but why are they thinking such things in the first place? I know they want sex but why would they want that? Sure children is a reason and ancient people might not have been well-versed on sex education (or modern humans for that matter at times) but there is no natural drive for sex? (I thought because I clearly had no such drive for sex others felt the same way)

 

I had a guy a worked with, a middle-aged guy, try to give me advice on, in his own words, "how to look at a girl's breasts without getting caught". I did my best to walk away from him when he started trying to give that "advice".

That guy was annoying, and that story is completely descriptive of all my interactions with him.

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3 hours ago, Aebt said:

In hindsight by complete failure to understand why anyone would be attracted to posteriors or breasts probably should have allowed me to find asexuality sooner.

 

My line of thinking went like this:

I know why, the theory goes, that males are attracted to the aforementioned areas, but why are they thinking such things in the first place? I know they want sex but why would they want that? Sure children is a reason and ancient people might not have been well-versed on sex education (or modern humans for that matter at times) but there is no natural drive for sex? (I thought because I clearly had no such drive for sex others felt the same way)

 

I had a guy a worked with, a middle-aged guy, try to give me advice on, in his own words, "how to look at a girl's breasts without getting caught". I did my best to walk away from him when he started trying to give that "advice".

That guy was annoying, and that story is completely descriptive of all my interactions with him.

I agree 110%. To me both of those places are 2 lumps of fat next to one another, why is that supposed to garner interest over a person’s face? Faces have many tiny muscles so that the face can have slight changes for body language communication, it’s where a person’s eyes are, etc. so why would I want to look at 2 lumps of fat over that when faces are also generally different from person to person? Same thing for me on the lack of a sex drive. I’m still asking myself why people care about sex so much, and the answers that I get from others don’t make sense to me.

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1 hour ago, Darth Plagueis the Wise said:

I agree 110%. To me both of those places are 2 lumps of fat next to one another, why is that supposed to garner interest over a person’s face? Faces have many tiny muscles so that the face can have slight changes for body language communication, it’s where a person’s eyes are, etc. so why would I want to look at 2 lumps of fat over that when faces are also generally different from person to person? Same thing for me on the lack of a sex drive. I’m still asking myself why people care about sex so much, and the answers that I get from others don’t make sense to me.

I sometimes get aesthetically attracted to people, i.e. I like their appearance on non-sexual context. Usually the face/head indeed is the most attractive bodypart for me, but sometimes I find the person's whole body looking like "an outstanding individual" 😆 I feel like human body can have elegancy similar to horse or dolphin (for some reason).

Anyhow, my problem is that since I don't experience sexual attraction but can still experience aesthetic attraction, I probably have stared at people for too long sometimes for I haven't realized why looking at somebody could be taken in any other than neutral way. Nowadays I understand that in theory but I still have to remind myself of it in practice.

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Bronztrooper
4 hours ago, naakka said:

I sometimes get aesthetically attracted to people, i.e. I like their appearance on non-sexual context. Usually the face/head indeed is the most attractive bodypart for me, but sometimes I find the person's whole body looking like "an outstanding individual" 😆 I feel like human body can have elegancy similar to horse or dolphin (for some reason).

Anyhow, my problem is that since I don't experience sexual attraction but can still experience aesthetic attraction, I probably have stared at people for too long sometimes for I haven't realized why looking at somebody could be taken in any other than neutral way. Nowadays I understand that in theory but I still have to remind myself of it in practice.

I have a similar issue.  Sometimes I see someone I think looks nice (usually women, but occasionally men) and have to keep making sure I don't look at them too much, lest it be taken the wrong way.  I've also had moments where I've wanted to tell someone they look nice (mostly women), but never say anything due to being paranoid that they take it as flirting.  Doesn't help that it mainly happens with people I don't know.

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Shortly after I found out about asexuality, my husband was wearing a pair of jeans that fit really well and I did a double-take because the words, "Huh, THAT is a well-formed butt, he looks kinda like a manaquin or a marble statue" popped through my head. That is the closest I have ever been to appreciating "dat @$$". But I strongly dislike naked butts. 

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6 hours ago, Bronztrooper said:
10 hours ago, naakka said:

I sometimes get aesthetically attracted to people, i.e. I like their appearance on non-sexual context. Usually the face/head indeed is the most attractive bodypart for me, but sometimes I find the person's whole body looking like "an outstanding individual" 😆 I feel like human body can have elegancy similar to horse or dolphin (for some reason).

Anyhow, my problem is that since I don't experience sexual attraction but can still experience aesthetic attraction, I probably have stared at people for too long sometimes for I haven't realized why looking at somebody could be taken in any other than neutral way. Nowadays I understand that in theory but I still have to remind myself of it in practice.

I have a similar issue.  Sometimes I see someone I think looks nice (usually women, but occasionally men) and have to keep making sure I don't look at them too much, lest it be taken the wrong way.  I've also had moments where I've wanted to tell someone they look nice (mostly women), but never say anything due to being paranoid that they take it as flirting.  Doesn't help that it mainly happens with people I don't know.

Same for me, too. I think it was one reason it took me so long to realize I was asexual (of course, not having heard of asexuality didn't help either :P ). And may cause people who knew me to not believe I am asexual if they ever saw me looking too long at an attractive woman.

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23 minutes ago, daveb said:

Same for me, too. I think it was one reason it took me so long to realize I was asexual (of course, not having heard of asexuality didn't help either :P ).

 

And may cause people who knew me to not believe I am asexual if they ever saw me looking too long at an attractive woman.

X2 on both points.

 

My friend when I came out to him said, "But you've said in the past that a girl we saw had a nice (fill in the blank)". "I know, I can't explain it".

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Forest Spirit
12 hours ago, naakka said:

I sometimes get aesthetically attracted to people, i.e. I like their appearance on non-sexual context. Usually the face/head indeed is the most attractive bodypart for me, but sometimes I find the person's whole body looking like "an outstanding individual" 😆 I feel like human body can have elegancy similar to horse or dolphin (for some reason).

Anyhow, my problem is that since I don't experience sexual attraction but can still experience aesthetic attraction, I probably have stared at people for too long sometimes for I haven't realized why looking at somebody could be taken in any other than neutral way. Nowadays I understand that in theory but I still have to remind myself of it in practice.

^^ same. Also happens to me when that person has some interesting looking tattoo and I'd like to figure out what it is exactly, the same with prints on women's t-shirts (no I'm not looking at your breasts, just your t-shirt, I'm sorry)

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2 hours ago, Quasar.w said:

prints on women's t-shirts

or men's t-shirts, too. I'm a compulsive reader, I read anything from ads to signs to labels on jars during breakfast.

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I think this should filed under 'Incredibly Un(aro ace) Moments'.

 

A few weeks ago listening to 1st Wave on SiriusXM this song came on:

 

 

I don't recall it back in the 80s. Since then, I've probably listened it about once a week.

 

I know there is the thread elsewhere about songs that people didn't realize were about sex. There definitely isn't any doubt what this particular song is about. LOL

 

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@will123 I like the aesthetics in this vid pretty much (his style is pretty cool too)! So much that I first forgot to listen to the lyrics :D

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I just play video games on public transportation and when I’m waiting around so I don’t stare at people on accident. And, I have an extremely neutral resting expression so it’s hard to tell what I’m thinking. I just yawn, wipe my eyes, swat at an imaginary fly, or scratch my ear if I accidentally catch myself looking at someone for too long.

 

I have slightly large hips compared to my waist which is kinda annoying. People say it’s good even for guys to have a nice butt but it’s really annoying when buying pants. My waist is fairly slim but the pants don’t go over the hips; larger pants go over the hips but slide off 😐. It’s nice to have strength in the thighs and quads but it comes at the cost of normal pants fitting you poorly 😦.

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3 hours ago, Laplace said:

 

I have slightly large hips compared to my waist which is kinda annoying. People say it’s good even for guys to have a nice butt but it’s really annoying when buying pants. My waist is fairly slim but the pants don’t go over the hips; larger pants go over the hips but slide off 😐. It’s nice to have strength in the thighs and quads but it comes at the cost of normal pants fitting you poorly 😦.

I have that same problem.

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nerdperson777
On 8/24/2019 at 9:25 AM, fooledbysecrecy said:

i've never understood when people say someone has a 'great arse'. i mean it's good to have some natural cushioning for sitting down.. but especially when i was younger i just thought ...but that's where your poo comes out of.

That's how I felt about boobs.  I think I'll get top surgery and be flat, but what cushion will I have when I lie on my stomach?  I might be able to get pecs but how much cushioning will I get out of that?

 

22 hours ago, naakka said:

I sometimes get aesthetically attracted to people, i.e. I like their appearance on non-sexual context. Usually the face/head indeed is the most attractive bodypart for me, but sometimes I find the person's whole body looking like "an outstanding individual" 😆 I feel like human body can have elegancy similar to horse or dolphin (for some reason).

Anyhow, my problem is that since I don't experience sexual attraction but can still experience aesthetic attraction, I probably have stared at people for too long sometimes for I haven't realized why looking at somebody could be taken in any other than neutral way. Nowadays I understand that in theory but I still have to remind myself of it in practice.

Well, in school, my chair was perpendicular to the front so I could only turn 45 degrees towards a guy.  I tend to blank stare when I daydream so my mom tried so hard to make me admit I had a crush on him.  I don't even smile or look happy when I'm "staring" at him.  How can that be a crush?

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1 hour ago, nerdperson777 said:

Well, in school, my chair was perpendicular to the front so I could only turn 45 degrees towards a guy.  I tend to blank stare when I daydream so my mom tried so hard to make me admit I had a crush on him.  I don't even smile or look happy when I'm "staring" at him.  How can that be a crush?

One time I regularly texted my friend Kallnah and my parents and my step brothers and step sisters thought we were going on a date when we decided to watch a movie together.

Hilariously enough Kallnah who I assumed to be a tomboy was actually transmasculine and not attracted to anyone.

So it was equally embarrassing for both of us because his parents thought the same thing as mine.

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1 hour ago, nerdperson777 said:

That's how I felt about boobs.  I think I'll get top surgery and be flat, but what cushion will I have when I lie on my stomach?  I might be able to get pecs but how much cushioning will I get out of that?

 

Well, in school, my chair was perpendicular to the front so I could only turn 45 degrees towards a guy.  I tend to blank stare when I daydream so my mom tried so hard to make me admit I had a crush on him.  I don't even smile or look happy when I'm "staring" at him.  How can that be a crush?

I think parents see what they want to see. A lot of parents "live via their children" so they'll see what they just daydream about. Until I literally brought up I've never even once had a desire for having a baby my mum firmly believed I'm gonna have them one day, even if I've never said one word about wanting children (never even playd with dolls or anythings as a kid, it's just never been my thing). My mum also believed for years I had a crush on my male class mate simply because of I liked to talk with him as he was as ambitious at school as I was. What irritated me the most was the fact she hinted his parents about that. Lukcily he's married and living abroad now so she can't have that belief anymore.

 

It's kind of having fanfic with your kid included, which have always felt pretty invasive for me (I get insulted even behalf of celebrities and artist when people write fanfics including them lol). 

Edited by naakka
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1 minute ago, Arodash said:

I keep having to remind my mother that I more than likely wont have children. I'll stick to animals. 

I prefer animals over children too. People just often see pets as "training for having children", so sometimes I feel there's no way to opt out the child option lol. I mean, if you want to have pets, it obviously means you have a strong nurturing instinct, which obviously means you're gonna need to have children to satisfy it...

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nerdperson777
2 hours ago, Member114264 said:

One time I regularly texted my friend Kallnah and my parents and my step brothers and step sisters thought we were going on a date when we decided to watch a movie together.

Hilariously enough Kallnah who I assumed to be a tomboy was actually transmasculine and not attracted to anyone.

So it was equally embarrassing for both of us because his parents thought the same thing as mine.

He totally sounds like me, in terms of description, haha.

 

1 hour ago, naakka said:

I think parents see what they want to see. A lot of parents "live via their children" so they'll see what they just daydream about. Until I literally brought up I've never even once had a desire for having a baby my mum firmly believed I'm gonna have them one day, even if I've never said one word about wanting children (never even playd with dolls or anythings as a kid, it's just never been my thing). My mum also believed for years I had a crush on my male class mate simply because of I liked to talk with him as he was as ambitious at school as I was. What irritated me the most was the fact she hinted his parents about that. Lukcily he's married and living abroad now so she can't have that belief anymore.

 

It's kind of having fanfic with your kid included, which have always felt pretty invasive for me (I get insulted even behalf of celebrities and artist when people write fanfics including them lol). 

It's my parents for not believing me when I was 12 and I said that I didn't want kids.  They freak out now even though I said that exact same thing.  Mom wants to continue my grandmother's genes, as the only grandchild, while my dad just wants grandchildren.

 

1 hour ago, Arodash said:

I keep having to remind my mother that I more than likely wont have children. I'll stick to animals. 

I was probably being cruel to my dad by telling him that handling my cousin's children are the closest thing to him having grandchildren.

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38 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

It's my parents for not believing me when I was 12 and I said that I didn't want kids.  They freak out now even though I said that exact same thing.  Mom wants to continue my grandmother's genes, as the only grandchild, while my dad just wants grandchildren.

Oh, it's bad to be the only child. I luckily have 3 siblings/cousins, two of them already having a child and one of them most likely gonna have one as well. So I get ignored for most of the time these days, thanks to the siblings & cousings doing the job 😆 

 

In your mother's case it could also be grieving; she can't accept the fact that she's not gonna have grandchildren and just can't let go. I do get allo parent's perspective and why they might be sad even. But it just still feels a bit insulting that they won't accept your feelings with less than extreme convincing - or sometimes not even then.

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Anthracite_Impreza

If they want the kids so much, they can look after the bastards.

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1 minute ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

If they want the kids so much, they can look after the bastards.

Oh no, I wouldn't be a breedable human even with that condition 😆

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nerdperson777
12 minutes ago, naakka said:

Oh, it's bad to be the only child. I luckily have 3 siblings/cousins, two of them already having a child and one of them most likely gonna have one as well. So I get ignored for most of the time these days, thanks to the siblings & cousings doing the job 😆 

 

In your mother's case it could also be grieving; she can't accept the fact that she's not gonna have grandchildren and just can't let go. I do get allo parent's perspective and why they might be sad even. But it just still feels a bit insulting that they won't accept your feelings with less than extreme convincing - or sometimes not even then.

Well, my grandfather has a lot of grandchildren, from another grandmother.  It's just that my mom came from his second wife and then only my mom had kids out of all her full blood siblings.  I've changed my stance from never happening to maybe not so there is still a chance, but I don't want these children to interact with my parents because they were toxic to me.  They don't realize how they affect me still, even when I'm not living with them.  I had an idea to foster LGBT+ kids when I'm financially stable.  The only true definite is I'm not going to carry a baby.  I don't know what it is with my parents.  I've done everything they ever asked, tried to be the most reliable person ever, yet there was no reason to trust me.  My dad has an ageist reason.  He just thinks elders are superior in every way.  He didn't let me drive my uncle's old van (that we borrowed) because I wasn't on the insurance.  But he let himself drive it, even though he's not on the insurance.  If he actually said it was to be safe and he didn't drive the car, then that would mean something.  He also said something about if pulled over, I would get a ticket and he wouldn't because he's older (and thus wiser).  There's also the same thing if I went to court.  He said the judge wouldn't believe me over him because I'm "just a kid".  I really don't know why I bothered trying to gain their trust when nothing would change anyway.

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Neutral Charge
2 hours ago, Arodash said:

I would also never be home for said children I work crazy hours. People fail to understand the importance of parents being around. 

Ppl fail to understand how to be a parent in general, and i hate it when i hear em say: go for it! Nobody knew! You will know once you have it!

Knowledge doesnt work like that...

Biggest bullshit in the world, having a kid doesnt make one automatically a good parent and this kind of thinking is what gives birth to sad traumatized ppl, sick broken loop.

 

My opinion: giving birth should be as strict and controlled as adoption, not every fucktard deserves a child to abuse.

 

Srry my language but i dealt with my parents messed up life and they still blame it on my birth so rlly upset about ppl choosing to have kids to easily..only to break em to pieces 

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fooledbysecrecy

if i ever wanted kids and was mentally stable enough to take responsibility of another human being i would totally adopt. enough kids being born already, i don't need to add to the pile. and obviously wouldn't even want to participate in any baby making activities duh~

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1 hour ago, nerdperson777 said:

I don't know what it is with my parents.  I've done everything they ever asked, tried to be the most reliable person ever, yet there was no reason to trust me.

I'm sorry to hear things weren't easy for you. Sometimes the fault is not on the child but on the parents. I've heard it's pretty common for child to hold responsibility for things that really aren't in their hands. 

 

1 hour ago, nerdperson777 said:

I had an idea to foster LGBT+ kids when I'm financially stable.  The only true definite is I'm not going to carry a baby. 

I have the same outlook on children. I'm not crazy for babies, but I like the idea of helping others. Actually when I was a kid and still thought having a childis a must for every adult, I'd imagine myself adopting. If there's someone in need for home, it just seemed so much more reasonable than having "an own" child. Nowadays I'm not interested in adoption anymore, knowing how difficult the process is and how much more some other people want to adopt. But I like the idea of being a foster parent for a child in custody. Or possibly having a relationship with a person and having their step children in our family. Or giving my time to the children of my brother and cousins, also giving them "a day off". Basically I just want to offer support to growing people in need, but don't need the feeling of being their parent.

 

1 hour ago, Neutral Charge said:

Ppl fail to understand how to be a parent in general, and i hate it when i hear em say: go for it! Nobody knew! You will know once you have it!

Knowledge doesnt work like that...

Biggest bullshit in the world, having a kid doesnt make one automatically a good parent and this kind of thinking is what gives birth to sad traumatized ppl, sick broken loop.

 

My opinion: giving birth should be as strict and controlled as adoption, not every fucktard deserves a child to abuse.

 

Srry my language but i dealt with my parents messed up life and they still blame it on my birth so rlly upset about ppl choosing to have kids to easily..only to break em to pieces 

I 1000% agree. Child is not a pet, and sometimes I feel that people are more worried about one's suitability of owning a cat or a dog than being a parent. I think this subject is just a taboo; parenthood is seen as an unquestionable right of every adult person - rather than the right of being safe as a child.

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fooledbysecrecy
2 minutes ago, naakka said:

 

 

I 1000% agree. Child is not a pet, and sometimes I feel that people are more worried about one's suitability of owning a cat or a dog than being a parent. I think this subject is just a taboo; parenthood is seen as an unquestionable right of every adult person - rather than the right of being safe for a child.

exactly!! which is why i find it so ridiculous same sex couples' rights to have a kid are still even debated, straight couples can spew out babies all they want into all sorts of questionable conditions, while couples who aren't able to naturally conceive (including straight couples with fertility issues) need to go through a Process.

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3 hours ago, Neutral Charge said:

My opinion: giving birth should be as strict and controlled as adoption, not every fucktard deserves a child to abuse.

This gives way to much power to often racist and classist authorities. So white rich people will get a permit easily, while working class people of color or even just Southern European people would have it much more difficult. This is already the case here for pupils to be allowed to attend grammar school.

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