will123 Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 14 minutes ago, daveb said: be careful how you phrase that! I'll have to ask her about that LOL It reminds me of the 'nicknames' of Toronto. A lot of people will say, T.O. (tee oh). Well I guess that is too time consuming for younger people it became Tdot (rolling my eyes). Now even younger people (led by Drake and an old city councillor trying to be cool and hip) are trying to get the nickname change to The 6ix (after the last digit in the area code). 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
naakka Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 On 7/11/2019 at 7:47 AM, naakka said: The last time we met and she asked me the same thing, I said "no, I don't feel like I was ready for dating" (still hadn't found AVEN and didn't know about asexuality). I just realized I've used this "I'm not ready for dating" survival technique for all of my youth. It's very misleading, but I didn't know better as I thought eventually I'd fall in love with someone and thought there's no other option than eventually ending up into an allo relationship. Anyhow, once there was a guy on a summer camp who had a crush on me and he didn't try to hide it (he was nice and I think we could have been friends, I just felt nothing attraction-like in return). Eventually I said that I feel like I'm not ready for dating yet, and he insisted giving me his number so I could call him when I was ready 😶 I felt very confused and like a bad person, like I really should tell him it was very unlikely I'd ever call him. That's what my instinct said. But my cultural programming said that eventually I'd want to have a relationship and he is nice and all so I said nothing and just took his number. I've never felt as contradicting with my own thoughts. I wonder how long he kept waiting 😣 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 10 hours ago, Bloc said: I was at Leipzig Pride today and saw a lot of ace, Demi and aro flags. Also asexuality was explicitly acknowledged by the organizers as part of the community. Was a beautiful day and I am happy I went there even if I am tired now. That's great to hear! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 On 7/11/2019 at 11:19 PM, Quasar.w said: I'm kind of concerned about the 'while driving' part And Tindr just seems so superficial... like you choose to get to know people depending on pictures and a few descriptive lines. And sometimes even 'get to know' is exaggerated (as far as I know) I know. She took any time when she was stopped at a stoplight to show me the three guys she had been texting. As someone whose attractions are grey/demi for anything at best, I don't understand this app in that the attractiveness of a partner is the most important aspect in matching with them. Anyone can easily have a picture that shows only the good sides of them. Even if two people find each other attractive and swipe yes (I don't know if it's left or right actually), that says nothing about personality and how well they would do as a couple. On 7/12/2019 at 9:29 AM, SupercalifragilisticNugget said: You’re welcome. 👍🏻 It’s pretty disturbing just how many dating apps and sites there are anymore. And considering most of the stories you end up hearing about involving them are fails instead of success, it makes you wonder why they’re such an appeal...? Someone asked the same thing about spam emails that advertise [something, Christian, Russian, etc.] singles or pills for erectile dysfunction, or whatever. If they keep sending them, does that mean they actually work and people fall for them? I guess some people are just really desperate and would try anything. On 7/12/2019 at 9:54 PM, naakka said: I never knew that "talking" would mean "unofficial dating" in English. It sounds the same as "seeing" in Finnish. You can be "seeing" someone, it's more than "just friends" but less official than "dating" and still can lead to engagement. I once said some years back that I was using Google Translate for a language essay homework and apparently "know" can also mean to have sex with. I guess if bodies are that close to each other... On 7/12/2019 at 9:56 PM, daveb said: We use "seeing" that way, too. As in "are you seeing anyone?" or "I am seeing someone". Never heard of "talking" being used that way though. Maybe a younger generation thing? Is no verb safe?! Saw a thing the other day, someone's answer was "a partner or a therapist?" Therapy, yes. Partner? No. On 7/12/2019 at 11:06 PM, Laplace said: Aro/Ace Person: ”So I’ve been working with Mr./Ms. X...” People: ”What?! I didn’t know you were dating!” A/A: ”I mean I’ve been standing in the general vicinity of...” People: ”It’s that serious!? 😯” A/A: ”OKAY, I’VE EXISTED ON THE SAME PLANET AS...!” People: ”Wow! You two are super close! 😉” A/A: “STOP APPROPRIATING BASIC WORDS! Hdjabffixnxvgajbxbxb 😠😡🤬” An exaggeration (hopefully) but it feels like it’s like that sometimes. 😐 I'm just reminded of the time I brought my friend to an exercise class. We were doing stretches on our own. I was doing the frog center splits and she decided to push down on my lower back to stretch me more. My classmates didn't ask if she was my girlfriend. I just heard "Omg, are you two best friends??" Our ace vibes must be that strong. I don't think I've ever had anyone ask if my friend was my partner before though. I always got asked if they were my siblings because somehow they thought we looked similar? 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Forest Spirit Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 54 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said: I know. She took any time when she was stopped at a stoplight to show me the three guys she had been texting. As someone whose attractions are grey/demi for anything at best, I don't understand this app in that the attractiveness of a partner is the most important aspect in matching with them. Anyone can easily have a picture that shows only the good sides of them. Even if two people find each other attractive and swipe yes (I don't know if it's left or right actually), that says nothing about personality and how well they would do as a couple. Oh ok, atleast it wasn't literally while driving And totally agree with you there!! Someone can look attractive and seem ok (from the like one paragraph of descriptions) but turn out to be not you're kind of person (there are some personality traits that I don't like personally but aren't bad in general) or just a jerk. 54 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said: Someone asked the same thing about spam emails that advertise [something, Christian, Russian, etc.] singles or pills for erectile dysfunction, or whatever. If they keep sending them, does that mean they actually work and people fall for them? I guess some people are just really desperate and would try anything. Since you've mentioned it, I got two spam emails today for Viagra again... like ^no thanks^ don't need that! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 2 minutes ago, Quasar.w said: Since you've mentioned it, I got two spam emails today for Viagra again... like ^no thanks^ don't need that! Ah yes, please send me medication for that body part that I don't have... I have been advertised beard oil elsewhere before, and I'm not even capable of growing a beard. I can barely get a mustache and chin hair, but I'm not crazy about extra hair so I'm fine without the beard. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fluffy Femme Guy Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 1 hour ago, nerdperson777 said: I once said some years back that I was using Google Translate for a language essay homework and apparently "know" can also mean to have sex with. It's very uncommon to see that meaning of 'know' in ordinary speech. It shows up pretty much exclusively in biblical context-like when the angel telling Mary she will have a son and he needs to be named Jesus, she responds with something like "How can I possibly have a child, since I have never known a man?" 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Forest Spirit Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 56 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said: Ah yes, please send me medication for that body part that I don't have... I have been advertised beard oil elsewhere before, and I'm not even capable of growing a beard. I can barely get a mustache and chin hair, but I'm not crazy about extra hair so I'm fine without the beard. exactly! Although I think there exists something like Viagra for females... but honestly no idea what it does and I am very happy with my 99% non-existing libido and not having anything to do with sex so still ^no thanks^ 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SupercalifragilisticNugget Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 8 hours ago, nerdperson777 said: Someone asked the same thing about spam emails that advertise [something, Christian, Russian, etc.] singles or pills for erectile dysfunction, or whatever. If they keep sending them, does that mean they actually work and people fall for them? I guess some people are just really desperate and would try anything. Yeah I would assume there must be just enough people who are gullible and will buy into whatever gets advertised on their screen. That’s the only way scams work after all. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Comrade F&F Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 On 7/13/2019 at 1:03 PM, Sean-Kat said: He accused me of being a ninja, and I said he had no proof; therefore, he reasoned that he could record me sneaking up on him as proof that I was a ninja. Oh, I got that on my first read through. I had to read it a second time to realize how that could be taken out of context. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 3 minutes ago, Feys&Florets said: Oh, I got that on my first read through. I had to read it a second time to realize how that could be taken out of context. Which proves my mind is in the gutter. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Comrade F&F Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 11 minutes ago, will123 said: Which proves my mind is in the gutter. Heh. At least you're well prepared for social conversations when they need it. I've been caught off guard when a friend makes an innuendo joke. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Strange-quark Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 [redacted] 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SilverDragon Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 I had a moment reading this thread. I learned that oral sex isn't kissing. Well, I thought it was like some sort of deep kissing for a fairly long time. I would prefer to think it was kissing, but I can just imagine how awkward that could get later on. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FireMoon42 Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 Here's an ace moment of the "clueless" variety: my best friend (a bi girl) and one of my other friends (a guy) got into a relationship half a year ago, and since I was the person who introduced them to each other, I was the first person they told. Only they didn't tell me, they tried to let my dumb ace brain figure it out. Them: You wanna come over for cocoa and board games? Me: Hell yeah! Cocoa and board games! Him: [has what looks like a hickey on his neck] Me: [assumes he got pinched] Them: [feed each other bits of chocolate while they make cocoa] Her: [sits in his lap while we're playing Catan] Me: [Wow! They're pretty close! I'm glad they became such good friends!] It got to the point where they literally kissed each other six inches from my face, then looked me in the eye and asked if I'd observed anything. I must have looked like the sloth from Zootopia when it finally dawned on me. All this time, it had never even crossed my mind that they might have gotten into a romantic relationship. But even then, it didn't seem like a big deal. I shrugged, said good for you, then took my turn in Catan. 14 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Liana Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 33 minutes ago, FireMoon42 said: Here's an ace moment of the "clueless" variety: my best friend (a bi girl) and one of my other friends (a guy) got into a relationship half a year ago, and since I was the person who introduced them to each other, I was the first person they told. Only they didn't tell me, they tried to let my dumb ace brain figure it out. Them: You wanna come over for cocoa and board games? Me: Hell yeah! Cocoa and board games! Him: [has what looks like a hickey on his neck] Me: [assumes he got pinched] Them: [feed each other bits of chocolate while they make cocoa] Her: [sits in his lap while we're playing Catan] Me: [Wow! They're pretty close! I'm glad they became such good friends!] It got to the point where they literally kissed each other six inches from my face, then looked me in the eye and asked if I'd observed anything. I must have looked like the sloth from Zootopia when it finally dawned on me. All this time, it had never even crossed my mind that they might have gotten into a romantic relationship. But even then, it didn't seem like a big deal. I shrugged, said good for you, then took my turn in Catan. One of my friends got that near the end of this past school year and I guessed what it was instantly. The other stuff I wouldn’t have noticed. For reference, I only knew what a hickey was because a waitress at a restaurant made the assumption that a scar on my neck was a hickey and complemented me on my non-existent girlfriend (I was either in middle school or 5th or 6th grade of elementary school). 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Laplace Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 On 7/14/2019 at 10:22 AM, SupercalifragilisticNugget said: Yeah I would assume there must be just enough people who are gullible and will buy into whatever gets advertised on their screen. That’s the only way scams work after all. It’s a two-pronged attack; first make men insecure about it and then swoop in with a supposed cure. Still dumb that some people buy into it 🙄. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rawersace Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 when all ur friends start talking about their love problems and start talking about sex and they start asking u bout urs or start jokin bout ur sex life and ur like hehe yea while standing uncomfortably and wanting so desperately to leave that situation 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 On a programme I just watched: "Sexuality is a universal human experience" Me: "Guess I'm a god" 14 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SupercalifragilisticNugget Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 42 minutes ago, Laplace said: It’s a two-pronged attack; first make men insecure about it and then swoop in with a supposed cure. Still dumb that some people buy into it 🙄. True. If you call something a problem and just happen to have a product that claims to make this problem go away, it can look very promising, even to sensible people. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SupercalifragilisticNugget Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 30 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said: On a programme I just watched: "Sexuality is a universal human experience" Me: "Guess I'm a god" That would explain some things.. (O_O) 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 On 7/14/2019 at 4:03 AM, Quasar.w said: exactly! Although I think there exists something like Viagra for females... but honestly no idea what it does and I am very happy with my 99% non-existing libido and not having anything to do with sex so still ^no thanks^ That's one of the main drawbacks of me being on T. The eunuch person I mentioned said that they went from a 10 to a 2 and I think I went from 1 to 5. I prefer 0 really. 21 hours ago, will123 said: Which proves my mind is in the gutter. T puts my mind in the gutter more, even if I'm not attracted to people. It can get my ace card called into question. Once I went to buy a belt that had to be a specific color for a cosplay and I was at Walmart with my roommates. I knew that slapping with a belt was a thing so I mimicked the action and one of my roommates had to ask if I was really ace, in a joking way. I can still think dirty even if there isn't another person involved. 21 hours ago, Feys&Florets said: Heh. At least you're well prepared for social conversations when they need it. I've been caught off guard when a friend makes an innuendo joke. Even with the stuff I've learned, I still feel caught off guard since there's way more innuendos that I don't know. I was only trying to make my roommates do pushups. "I can go down but I can't get back up." Attention was drawn to "go down" and now I can't look at pushups the same way. 8 hours ago, Darth Plagueis the Wise said: One of my friends got that near the end of this past school year and I guessed what it was instantly. The other stuff I wouldn’t have noticed. For reference, I only knew what a hickey was because a waitress at a restaurant made the assumption that a scar on my neck was a hickey and complemented me on my non-existent girlfriend (I was either in middle school or 5th or 6th grade of elementary school). That seems odd to be complimenting an 11 year old for that. I don't even know what it would look like other than a little dent on the skin. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fluffy Femme Guy Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 7 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said: On a programme I just watched: "Sexuality is a universal human experience" Me: "Guess I'm a god" Asexuals be like: 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aloney Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 @nerdperson777 I have no personal experience with T, but if it helps any, I've heard everyone has a period of "being horny" or "mind in the gutter" during the first year, and apparently it's supposed to calm down after that year or so My friend is starting in half a year, if everything goes as planned. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Zash Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 On 7/14/2019 at 4:51 AM, nerdperson777 said: I once said some years back that I was using Google Translate for a language essay homework and apparently "know" can also mean to have sex with. I guess if bodies are that close to each other... I actually know the history on this one. It comes from the Bible. In the Bible it would use getting to know someone as a euphemism for sex. (Basically, part of the Bible was keeping track of family lineages, and it would say things along the lines of "Soandso came to know soandso, and begot the child soandso") Since marriages back then were usually arranged, there was very little romantic connotations to it. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Forest Spirit Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 So... I might become the ace aunt that provides a child-friendly sex-ed book to my nephew. Idk but I think it's kinda funny that the family member with the least interest in sex is coming up with that idea then again I think it's really important and even more if they haven't changed much about sex-ed in school from my time (finished 4 years ago and had basically no sex-ed apart from birth control and... meiosis and some random stuff) Edit: I have become that ace aunt ^^ and am so going to provide further information as he gets older! And same goes for the younger one It makes me weirdly happy probably just because I hope they'll have an easier time understanding themself then I did and thus not feel wrong in any way 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 10 hours ago, Aloney said: @nerdperson777 I have no personal experience with T, but if it helps any, I've heard everyone has a period of "being horny" or "mind in the gutter" during the first year, and apparently it's supposed to calm down after that year or so My friend is starting in half a year, if everything goes as planned. I'm going to be 2 years tomorrow. My mind is definitely dirtier than pre-T but I'm still considered "innocent" since I still don't have knowledge of all those terms that exist now. I'm possibly having trouble differentiating dirty mind from having knowledge about innuendos. I guess I don't usually have any emotion when I say something that can be dirty. Then I laughed with a group when some guy said "soft but firm". I wasn't in a conversation but I was in earshot hearing about always going for the groin to get out of dangerous situations. I heard some euphemisms about literally going for the low hanging fruit, which would be the "grapes". But as for changes, I do think I am calmed down from the high. Even my appetite is declining again so I'm only 10 pounds over pre-T, rather than 20. Perhaps my body is getting to that balancing out stage. 7 hours ago, Zash said: I actually know the history on this one. It comes from the Bible. In the Bible it would use getting to know someone as a euphemism for sex. (Basically, part of the Bible was keeping track of family lineages, and it would say things along the lines of "Soandso came to know soandso, and begot the child soandso") Since marriages back then were usually arranged, there was very little romantic connotations to it. Ah yes, it's all about the sex. *me, and presumably my friend, runs as far away as possible, with our injured legs* 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Liana Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 14 hours ago, Quasar.w said: So... I might become the ace aunt that provides a child-friendly sex-ed book to my nephew. Idk but I think it's kinda funny that the family member with the least interest in sex is coming up with that idea then again I think it's really important and even more if they haven't changed much about sex-ed in school from my time (finished 4 years ago and had basically no sex-ed apart from birth control and... meiosis and some random stuff) That’s more information than what was covered in sex Ed at my school. All that I remember from it was being dragged into a room in 5th grade and hearing “your bodies are changing”. Meiosis was covered in 9th grade bio. The only time that birth control has been mentioned in my school was in my world history class, which was mentioning when it was invented and how it lowered birth rates. I only found out how sex works near the end of my first semester of 11th grade.. I had to read about the Master’s and Johnson study for my psychology class, so I think that schools have gotten worse at that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
firebird8 Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 On 7/14/2019 at 5:31 AM, Fluffy Femme Guy said: It's very uncommon to see that meaning of 'know' in ordinary speech. It shows up pretty much exclusively in biblical context-like when the angel telling Mary she will have a son and he needs to be named Jesus, she responds with something like "How can I possibly have a child, since I have never known a man?" This reminds me of one of my favorite opaque biblical euphemisms: covering your feet. You find it particularly in the section of the Old Testament where King Saul is chasing not-yet King David (yeah, THE David, like and the Goliath) around the cave system. Everybody keeps having to go cover their feet, which means they had to go to the bathroom. Other than Ruth and Boaz where it has a different connotation, I don't remember coming across that euphemism anywhere else. When I was a kid no one told me what it meant so I thought they were taking naps (I guess because a blanket to sleep with would cover your feet?) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
griffinej5 Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 9 hours ago, Darth Plagueis the Wise said: That’s more information than what was covered in sex Ed at my school. All that I remember from it was being dragged into a room in 5th grade and hearing “your bodies are changing”. Meiosis was covered in 9th grade bio. The only time that birth control has been mentioned in my school was in my world history class, which was mentioning when it was invented and how it lowered birth rates. I only found out how sex works near the end of my first semester of 11th grade.. I had to read about the Master’s and Johnson study for my psychology class, so I think that schools have gotten worse at that. My recollection of that stuff in school is the boys and girls being separated in 5th grade when they told us about periods, and the boys about... something. I don’t know. Then in Junior High health class, we had some stuff about learning different body systems and the reproductive systems were in there. We had health again in 11th grade, and I realize now, that teacher was making some pretty homophobic comments in there. I knew what she was referring to, but I did not realize at the time who she could be referring to. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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