Incredibly Ace Moments

[nerdperson777]

2 hours ago, will123 said:

Asexual me now thinks it was probably a throwaway comment on her part. I don't know if she had waited on me in the past for my banking or not. Maybe she was flirting (I wouldn't know at the time). For me at the time 600 bucks would seem extravagant for a date. The few I did go on back then were mostly dinner and a movie, definitely under a hundred bucks. Mind you in some circles (which I never travelled in) in Toronto, you could probably blow a fair bit of cash. Even then I would hate to think what a pair of decent Leaf (NHL team) would've cost. Now I know the pricing from scalpers (there's a waiting list for seasons tickets) is ridiculous.

 

My thoughts afterwards were if I were to blow off night shift, I might've asked her if she was doing anything tonight and made arrangements to get the tires the following week.. Non-straight me wouldn't have considered that in reality

I'm not sure why, but I thought maybe $600 would be used towards a stripper or prostitute, had you been heterosexual.

[Liana]

4 hours ago, Acespiring said:

Here's a story for you guys.

 

A tenth grade all girls slumber party. The guys had been evicted by eleven, and the rest of us had just turned the corner of midnight. Like the dorks that we were, we were camped out in our sleeping bags with the lights off, playing truth or dare without the dare. Except, instead of one person answering a question, everyone would answer. One of such questions was, "Who would you marry?"

Everyone was naming their crushes, and making a big deal about it. Getting all nervous, squeaking out the answer, giggling, that sort of thing. Then it was my turn. I picked the person I got along with better than anybody.

"Probably... My mom."

"Your MOM????"

I would rather be asked that than some of the things that I’ve been asked.

[Custard Cream]

6 hours ago, will123 said:

 

 

 

 

Asexual me now thinks it was probably a throwaway comment on her part. I don't know if she had waited on me in the past for my banking or not. Maybe she was flirting (I wouldn't know at the time). For me at the time 600 bucks would seem extravagant for a date. The few I did go on back then were mostly dinner and a movie, definitely under a hundred bucks. Mind you in some circles (which I never travelled in) in Toronto, you could probably blow a fair bit of cash. Even then I would hate to think what a pair of decent Leaf (NHL team) would've cost. Now I know the pricing from scalpers (there's a waiting list for seasons tickets) is ridiculous.

 

My thoughts afterwards were if I were to blow off night shift, I might've asked her if she was doing anything tonight and made arrangements to get the tires the following week.. Non-straight me wouldn't have considered that in reality

My feeling is that her asking if the cash was a for a date - especially given the amount was too high for that to be a likely option -  was simply an opening to give you the chance to tell her you were single and to ask her if she was too... and maybe to offer to take her on that date...

[Strange-quark]

[redacted]

[R2_3P0]

I was once texting a guy I was interested in and had gone on a date with before when he sent a text talking about a weird dream he had. He explained the first part (I forgot what it was), and then added at the end: "There was also another part of the dream with you in it, but I won't go into detail about it. 😉" 

My reply? 

"That's nice."

Needless to say, we don't talk anymore. 😂

Edited June 27, 2019 by R2_3P0

[Destan]

I went out with a friend and she asked my opinion about a pair of trousers when she tried it on.

I just said what I thought and then she asked about the gap behind her between her back and the trousers:

[Note: This conversation was in our native language so we were using the word "gat". That means "a hole or gap" but also "ass" if it's used informally]

 

Me: "Hmm, you can wear a belt to close the *gap."

My friend: "I actually don't wear a belt so maybe I can just put my shirt in my pants? Ah nevermind, I know how to fix this."

Me: "Oh okay."

My friend: "Is my ass that big?" *acts offended*  

Me: *embarrassed* "No, I didn't mean-that wasn't what I... Argh, you know what I mean!" 

My friend: *laughs* I know you didn't, you won't do that hahaha 🤣

 

This friend knows I'm ace and she likes to joke about it from time to time. It's not a bad thing.

[UpGirl]

When I was younger (like ten) my family was part of a religion where it was your duty to get married and have kids. (thank goodness I’m no longer a part of that.) I remember being sooooo afraid of when I would eventually become pregnant because it would be admitting to others I had sex with the person I married. I thought it would be so embarrassing because I didn’t even want to have sex in the first place.

[Laplace]

11 hours ago, R2_3P0 said:

I was once texting a guy I was interested in and had gone on a date with before when he sent a text talking about a weird dream he had. The explained the first part (I forgot what it was), and then added at the end: "There was also another part of the dream with you in it, but I won't go into detail about it. 😉" 

My reply? 

"That's nice."

Needless to say, we don't talk anymore. 😂

Lol, I just imagined myself being dense and saying that to someone without realizing it’s lewd implications:

Me (to some person): I had a dream about you last night, but I won’t go into details. It got weird. 😕

Person: Why not? 😉

Me: Well if you really want to know....first you randomly mutated into a horrific biological weapon, and then you tried to kill and devour me. So, I ran away screaming until I found a laser designator and called down an orbital strike. A sea of Skittles rained down from the sky and obliterated you. Weird huh? 😯😯😯🤔🤔🤔 Dreams are crazy.

[will123]

22 hours ago, CustardCream said:

My feeling is that her asking if the cash was a for a date - especially given the amount was too high for that to be a likely option -  was simply an opening to give you the chance to tell her you were single and to ask her if she was too... and maybe to offer to take her on that date...

If I had been a typical straight guy I probably wouldve asked her. Since dating wasnt really a priority with me it didnt come to me that's possibly what she was thinking.

[Evelyn A]

I think my most telling moment that I probably should have realized I was ace was when I was around twelve. My friends were planning their dream weddings, which I found very odd but whatever, and I suddenly realized that all the marriages I'd seen had ended in a kiss. I was so distressed by the thought of having to kiss my future husband I went to my mom almost in tears asking if a handshake would work instead, because I would never be able to get married otherwise 😂

 

[will123]

11 minutes ago, Evelyn A said:

I think my most telling moment that I probably should have realized I was ace was when I was around twelve. My friends were planning their dream weddings, which I found very odd but whatever, and I suddenly realized that all the marriages I'd seen had ended in a kiss. I was so distressed by the thought of having to kiss my future husband I went to my mom almost in tears asking if a handshake would work instead, because I would never be able to get married otherwise 😂

 

Oh my that must have been a horrible thing for you.

[Evelyn A]

5 minutes ago, will123 said:

Oh my that must have been a horrible thing for you

It definitely concerned twelve year old me a lot lol. But now I find it more funny than anything because I know that I don't have to get married and even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have to kiss my partner. I don't know why I thought getting married without kissing was illegal in the first place though 

[Custard Cream]

24 minutes ago, will123 said:

If I had been a typical straight guy I probably wouldve asked her. Since dating wasnt really a priority with me it didnt come to me that's possibly what she was thinking.

...and right there is why she looked so disappointed!

[Custard Cream]

23 minutes ago, Evelyn A said:

I think my most telling moment that I probably should have realized I was ace was when I was around twelve. My friends were planning their dream weddings, which I found very odd but whatever, and I suddenly realized that all the marriages I'd seen had ended in a kiss. I was so distressed by the thought of having to kiss my future husband I went to my mom almost in tears asking if a handshake would work instead, because I would never be able to get married otherwise 😂

 

...and I bet your mum probably told lots of people that story...

[Comrade F&F]

Me: "I found a case of scented oils and candles. What can I use it for?"

 

Random person: "Get intimate with your SO."

 

Never would have registered in my mind...

[Optical_Illusion]

Me and a group of my friends were in middle school. My friends were all talking about their crushes and how they wanted to marry them and have kids. They also got into detail about how many kids, the kids' genders, the kind of house, pet, etc. They look at me and ask me if I had a crush I wanted to mary. I told them that I liked someone who I wanted to play house with.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

3 hours ago, Evelyn A said:

I think my most telling moment that I probably should have realized I was ace was when I was around twelve. My friends were planning their dream weddings, which I found very odd but whatever, and I suddenly realized that all the marriages I'd seen had ended in a kiss. I was so distressed by the thought of having to kiss my future husband I went to my mom almost in tears asking if a handshake would work instead, because I would never be able to get married otherwise 😂

 

I never cried in public about it, but when I was younger I got so upset at the idea I had to marry and kiss (and worse) people. It really caused me a great deal of distress for many years 😕

 

[Laplace]

18 hours ago, Evelyn A said:

I think my most telling moment that I probably should have realized I was ace was when I was around twelve. My friends were planning their dream weddings, which I found very odd but whatever, and I suddenly realized that all the marriages I'd seen had ended in a kiss. I was so distressed by the thought of having to kiss my future husband I went to my mom almost in tears asking if a handshake would work instead, because I would never be able to get married otherwise 😂

 

I mean, marriage is a contract so a handshake would be kinda appropriate honestly. Maybe people should shake hands so it actually hits homes for some people that you’re actually supposed to honor the agreement 🙄.

[naakka]

I don't know if this is an ace moment... so feel free to share your opinion 😅

 

I worked as a trainee and got to know some of the customers at that place somewhat well. There was an older lady who really didn't speak Finnish well but always wanted to speak with me, so I thought it was a good idea to help her get better with the language (as we spent time in the same room anyway). One day, out of the blue, she asked me would I want to meet her single son. She said he's just the same kind of person than me. I completely lost my words, I just said something along the lines of "no thank you" and pretended I had job to do and left.

 

I think it's more common on her culture that parents seek partners for their children, but even if so I felt somehow creeped out. What did she mean by he's "my kind of person"? I feel like she pointed at nothing but my disability. Did she think that I wasn't already dating/married only because of my disability? Did she think I was nice to people only to find a partner? Would people really be so desperate in finding a partner in my situation that they would want to meet random people suggested by their parents? Did I misinterpret the tone due to language barrier? Later I told my mum what was happened, and I didn't even think she would have felt any different than me. Anyhow, she just thought it was so sweet and didn't seem to think it was any way creepy. I was surprised by her completely opposite reaction.

 

So does this feel creepy to me only because of my aceness? I'd think anyone feels creeped out if someone suddenly offered "a solution" to their singleness? Especially based on superficial factor and not even knowing the person at all? I'm now also confused if my mum actually thought it was a good offer? Anyhow, I'm probably over-thinking, as I'm seldomly left out of words like this xD

[Anonymous Axolotl]

I feel like I've had quite a few ace moments, but these are the ones that come to mind right off the bat:

 

1. In anywhere from 6th to 8th grade (I'm pretty fuzzy on the exact year) during lunch period, I was using a school laptop in a classroom. I don't quite remember the reasons surrounding any of this, but a friend of mine and their SO at the time were standing extremely close beside/behind me and animatedly talking (close enough to bump me with their arms while talking, which they did repeatedly) while I was sitting at a desk typing a URL into the browser. I made a typo in the URL and let out an exasperated sigh, interrupting them to say something along the lines of, "Please stop bumping me, it's making this hard. You made me type 'come' instead of 'com'." Apparently, they found this absolutely hilarious and ended up laughing to the point where they had tears streaming down their cheeks. I legitimately could not figure out why it was supposedly so amusing. It was only much later did it finally click with me that they heard "come" as a different word. To this day, I fail to see how it's funny, but at least now I know why I aced that moment.

 

2. I've always loathed sex scenes in movies, TV, and books. This made me wonder why in the world they are as common as they are if they are (as I consider them) "disgusting, pointless, and a waste of time." Only within this past year did it hit me that "wait... they wouldn't include this sort of stuff so often if people genuinely disliked it." It was at that moment that I realized most people actually get some sort of enjoyment out of those sorts of scenes. It took me embarrassingly long to come to that conclusion.

[Forest Spirit]

@naakka creepy yes, offensive no. Maybe she just knew that her son was looking for a partner and thought you were a nice person and that he'd like you character wise and vice versa. Idk how people see such possible 'matches' but it seems they do. Although as a very reserved demi person I find it creepy since being supposed to go on dates with a stranger is just nope. 'Match making' in general simply seems weird to me😅

[Bronztrooper]

31 minutes ago, Quasar.w said:

@naakka creepy yes, offensive no. Maybe she just knew that her son was looking for a partner and thought you were a nice person and that he'd like you character wise and vice versa. Idk how people see such possible 'matches' but it seems they do. Although as a very reserved demi person I find it creepy since being supposed to go on dates with a stranger is just nope. 'Match making' in general simply seems weird to me😅

Yeah, same here.  Only way I'd seen it being ok is if the person doing the 'match-making' knows for sure that both of the people that they're trying to 'set up' are interested in one another, but outside that, they should stay out of people's business

[Aloney]

Oh stars, things like blind dates and matchmaking are a big nope from me! I don't understand how anyone would find that in any way a good option, you don't know anything about that person! It's all based on looks and stuff, way too superficial! The only way I'd personally consider going on a date would be with a good friend that I trusted and had some kind of draw towards, already..? Hah, not that that's ever happened so I think I'm just guessing, can't see myself going on a date in general 😅

[will123]

I've been set up twice via blind dates by a female friend and another neighbour who was female. One worked out and I continued to see the girl for a couple of years. These two instances were before I figured out I was asexual.

 

Years later after I knew I was ace but not out to anyone, a female friend mentioned introducing me to a girlfriend of hers. I really panicked inside. I thought she was trying to get rid of me and secondly, what is the pount of introducing an asexual guy to a presumedly sexual female?

 

That all being said, if a random person made a comment to me about meeting their friend, sister or niece I would be bothered.

[CFilipek]

10 hours ago, naakka said:

I don't know if this is an ace moment... so feel free to share your opinion 😅

 

I worked as a trainee and got to know some of the customers at that place somewhat well. There was an older lady who really didn't speak Finnish well but always wanted to speak with me, so I thought it was a good idea to help her get better with the language (as we spent time in the same room anyway). One day, out of the blue, she asked me would I want to meet her single son. She said he's just the same kind of person than me. I completely lost my words, I just said something along the lines of "no thank you" and pretended I had job to do and left.

 

I think it's more common on her culture that parents seek partners for their children, but even if so I felt somehow creeped out. What did she mean by he's "my kind of person"? I feel like she pointed at nothing but my disability. Did she think that I wasn't already dating/married only because of my disability? Did she think I was nice to people only to find a partner? Would people really be so desperate in finding a partner in my situation that they would want to meet random people suggested by their parents? Did I misinterpret the tone due to language barrier? Later I told my mum what was happened, and I didn't even think she would have felt any different than me. Anyhow, she just thought it was so sweet and didn't seem to think it was any way creepy. I was surprised by her completely opposite reaction.

 

So does this feel creepy to me only because of my aceness? I'd think anyone feels creeped out if someone suddenly offered "a solution" to their singleness? Especially based on superficial factor and not even knowing the person at all? I'm now also confused if my mum actually thought it was a good offer? Anyhow, I'm probably over-thinking, as I'm seldomly left out of words like this xD

I don't think it's all that creepy that she would try to set you up with her son. She thinks you're nice and probably feels you and her son have similar personalities, so would get along well. Many parents try to set up their children on dates, because they think their kid is lonely or just really want them to have a romantic partner. My friend's mom used to do it to her all the time, much to her consternation. A lot of young people don't really appreciate it, because we feel that it's meddling and a control issue, but I think it may just be a cultural holdover from pre-20th century society* when most marriages were set up by the parents for some sort of financial or social benefit.

 

Not that it didn't continue in the 1900s, and even today in some cultures, but it's much less the norm.

[Laplace]

I’d feel bad for anyone trying to set me up with someone. Imagine sitting through an entire conversation dying of secondhand embarrassment/cringe when I fail to pick up on absolutely anything. RIP face muscles.

[AceMissBehaving]

I can’t believe I’m almost 40 and only just now realizing how much sex most non asexual people like or need to have.

[R2_3P0]

On 6/24/2019 at 11:48 PM, Laplace said:

Lol, I just imagined myself being dense and saying that to someone without realizing it’s lewd implications:

Me (to some person): I had a dream about you last night, but I won’t go into details. It got weird. 😕

Person: Why not? 😉

Me: Well if you really want to know....first you randomly mutated into a horrific biological weapon, and then you tried to kill and devour me. So, I ran away screaming until I found a laser designator and called down an orbital strike. A sea of Skittles rained down from the sky and obliterated you. Weird huh? 😯😯😯🤔🤔🤔 Dreams are crazy.

Perfect 😂

[Ita25]

I don't know if this is truly an ace moment but I hate the idea of "grinding" when people go out dancing. I absolutely love to dance, but when I see people out there rubbing all up on each other, it's just not appealing to me. I'm more understanding of it if it's people in a relationship, but when complete strangers who meet on the dance floor start doing it, that's just so weird to me. You don't even know each other's names and you're grinding your private regions up on each other. 🤢 One time a girl came up and started grinding on me and I legit just walked away...I don't know you like that lol. 

[daveb]

Random people do that to each other?