AVENguy Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 Sex shouldn't matter, sexual orientation shouldn't matter, I'm sick and tired of being systematically regulated by my friends out of their search for valid and long term companionship. I am tired of hearing people bitch about being single, of being unable to "find someone" in a way that implies that I catagorically can't, I'm sick of people talking about sex when the mean intimacy, or when they mean power, or when they mean sexuality. I'm sick of social setting tuned to a hierarchy of sexual power in which I am intrinsically at the bottom, I'm sick of my friends and family being too uncomfortable with the topic of asexuality to mention it, no matter how relevant to the discussion, unless it is in the context of AVEN or to jokingly refer to me as sexual, I'm sick of being lonely and not being able to talk about it, I'm sick of working with a queer community that doesn't know what I am or what to do with me or care, I'm sick of not having a place, I'm sick of having to make my place, I'm sick of expending the energy required to understand the sexual world around me, I'm sick of working to be interesting but unattractive for the sake of the sexual people around me, I'm sick of letting asexuality remain at the edge of the conversation, I'm sick of thinking in theory and not in practice, I'm sick of not being able to talk about my body because unless I'm trying to attract someone with it, I'm sick of people assuming they can't touch me, or talk about sex around me, or talk about intimacy with me, I'm sick of people being surprised when I tell them that I have the same emotional needs that they do, I'm sick of being the only one who's visible wherever I am, I'm sick of asexuals where I am being afraid to talk to me, I'm sick of doing all the work where I am, I'm sick of working for queer movements and getting nothing in return, I'm..... Ok, sorry, had to get that out. Back to my paper now. Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 I hear you DJ... especially about not having a place and trying to make one... it's really frustrating. And trying to expend so much energy to "be likeable" as if you have to "make up for" being asexual, like it's actually something to make up for! Working with the queer groups must be lonely and frustrating...I admire you very much for doing it. It's so hard to be the outsider. We're all outsiders here in the asexual sense...at least we can be outsiders coming together. Kate Link to post Share on other sites
aury Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 damn, looks like i'm not the only frustrated person here!!! personally, i'm sick of people who claim to be understanding of my lifestyle & then go ahead & talk shit about me to my back, sick of family constantly being up my ass 24/7 on when i'm going to "see the light" & get married, sick of men who always see me as some dumb bimbo & a whore just because i'm endowed, sick of people who claim to be looking out for my best interests when they w/hold information from me (& tell me about it days/months/years later. & i'm sick of guys who look at me like i'm some kind of monster when i tell them that they're either attractive or that i like them. for fuck's sake, it's not like i plan on having sex w/ them anytime in the future, so why can't they just calm the fuck down & take a damned compliment?!?!?! :x pussies......... Link to post Share on other sites
Hypatia Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 Aargh, tell me about it. With some people I'm not allowed to be asexual so I get constantly interrogated on whether I've met any nice guys lately, with others I've driven myself into a corner by 'coming out' so if I even say someone's attractive they get freaked out, or decide I'm not really asexual and have just been repressing myself all these years. Sorry you're pissed off, AVENguy - hope you cheer up soon, and remember you're not alone! Link to post Share on other sites
nemesis Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 That all sounds... rather unpleasant. I guess what I relate to the most is this "I'm sick of working to be interesting but unattractive for the sake of the sexual people around me". I'm not particularly visible where ever I happen to be (though apparently various people who live in the same condo as me, who I've never even met, seem to think I'm stuck up or standoffish or something, lol, people making judgements on me from afar have just got waaaay too much time on their hands). And I have to say I'm glad to not be particularly visible, as an asexual or as a person, but I think it's very brave of you to be, aven, and that especially in the case of this board you've done a lot of good and helped people. Link to post Share on other sites
aury Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 AVENGUY's my hero... i also agree w/ the statement. anytime i go out, i dress like a guy so that i won't get honked at or cat-called. it works most of the time. other times, i just tell those bastards to go masturbate in a sock & to leave me the hell alone. i'm also interrogated by people when i tell them that i'm a vegetarian. what the hell do you care what the hell i eat?! for all you know, i DO eat sprouts & tofu!!! & don't even get me started on the people who say, "i've always wanted to be a vegetarian," & then take a big bite out of a burger. i have to contain the urge to knock the damned thing down their throat!!! sorry. damned pent-up frustration......... :x Link to post Share on other sites
Legolas Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 *comforts AVENguy* Dude remember u always got US. We may be few but we exist and somewhere out there we feel your frustration. Remember if it wasn't for your website we woudl have never met and we woudl have all gone and lived thinkign we are weirdos and all alone. Chin up bro be proud of who you are. I am now tellign everyone i know. Except my parents they will know by readign the aven tshirt when one day i show up with it when i come home. Can't wait to see their jaws drop :) Alex Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 don't even get me started on the people who say, "i've always wanted to be a vegetarian," & then take a big bite out of a burger. Uh oh :lol: But back to the subject, everyone here loves you AVENguy! It's like Legolas said, had it not been for you everyone here never would have met and would have felt so alone . . . And even worse! Take now for example, if I would not be on asexuality.org checking posts, I would be vacuuming the carpet *death scream*! I have had real shitty moods like that too, and I know that you are probably thinking that no one understands and/or no one feels as bad, but even though we aren't feeling down at the moment, I'm sure we have all been there at some point in our lives, and there was always people and friends to cheer us up, just as we are here to cheer you up :) Wow, that was inspiring! Link to post Share on other sites
aury Posted February 11, 2003 Share Posted February 11, 2003 dude, if this site had never existed, not only would i not have met you guys, but i probably would have been sitting on my ass at home on weekends, scratching myself while watching old cartoon reruns on tv. but dammit, since this site does exist, i can now perfect of scratching myself while typing!!! um, sorry. :? that was supposed to be a funny to cheer AVENGUY up... k... *hangs head in shame before making a running start & crashng her head into a brick wall* :oops: Link to post Share on other sites
Orpheus Posted February 11, 2003 Share Posted February 11, 2003 :lol: Well I found it to be funny aury. Link to post Share on other sites
aury Posted February 11, 2003 Share Posted February 11, 2003 hehehehehehehehe........................ thank you. :D Link to post Share on other sites
Legolas Posted February 11, 2003 Share Posted February 11, 2003 I forgot what they called but they are the cartoons with the rooster and the dog always fighting. GOD I LOVE THOSE. I Could watch it again and again and again and still laugh. And tom and jerry and those goofy and mickey mouse cartoons are so trippy when high :) Alex Link to post Share on other sites
aury Posted February 12, 2003 Share Posted February 12, 2003 k, am i the only shmuck on the planet who remembers the cartoon about the 2 mexican frogs, & one of them always said, "hole frijole!!!" it been bugging the shit out of me for years. :? Link to post Share on other sites
Artemis Posted February 14, 2003 Share Posted February 14, 2003 We understand! Like most other people here, this site has done so much to help me out, especially when I'm pissed off with the rest of the world. I don't know any other asexuals in the "real world" and this is the best place to meet others and chat with people who understand. Hope you feel better soon :) Link to post Share on other sites
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