sexual woman married to asexual man - midlife crisis

[AVENCakes]

I am married to an asexual, with kids. Rather than divorce, I have an affair. This decision is not for everyone, but it has worked well for us.

I thought you said you had a DADT situation- so your wife is fully aware and consenting to the possibility of you going elsewhere for sex, etc, she just doesn't know the details. (that's how you described it in an earlier post) Unless you're misrepresenting the case and your wife isn't aware about what's going on but you're convincing yourself that she is and has given "unspoken consent" to the situation- it sounds like you worked it out so that you've got a situation everyone's agreed to. That's not an affair. An affair isn't going elsewhere for sex/emotional connection/whatever- it's lying about it and breaking the rules in doing so.

While I wouldn't entirely call your situation polyamory- I'm fully amenable to poly, swinging, and general responsible non-monogamy. There's a difference between communicating, hearing your partner's concerns/wants/needs while having yours be heard, and setting up an agreement so that you are able to do those things knowing that you're partner(s) is/are fine iwth the situation and an affair.

It's possible to cheat in poly- and it's just as bad as cheating in a monogamous relationship.

[kat_xk8]

Sex is why I will never marry

due to a medical condition I will always have - I have no libido

Just the idea of sex traumatizes me

Sex seems to be the focal point of marriages

Sex is something I resent big time

It's the hurdle that can't be overcome yet I have no desire to

Then again it's not a hurdle to me just one society put there and I kicked it no threw it out of my way

Sex is not normal to me and never will be

I don't have a reproductive system due to birth defect

Mu gosh - it's called commitment

If I ever married - has to be to another asexual who never warts sex

End a marriage over sex

I myself wont ever marry if there would be sex - even a slight chance

Sex is why I will never marry

It's my life

I'm supposed to want sex - I don't!!!