Sally Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 How about going over to them, armed with clipboard and pen, and saying something like:"Excuse me, I couldn't help observing that you seem completely incapable of controlling your child. I'm writing a book about how bad parenting can lead to children becoming criminals in later life, and wondered if you'd allow me to interview you, and follow up on your child's criminal career in, say 10 years." Trouble is, they'd probably say yes, and be flattered.... *goes off to think again* That's good!!! Link to post Share on other sites
unembellished Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 "Maybe YOU can ignore your children, but the REST OF US can't!" Not really very curmudeonly. Oh that is good. How about going over to them, armed with clipboard and pen, and saying something like:"Excuse me, I couldn't help observing that you seem completely incapable of controlling your child. I'm writing a book about how bad parenting can lead to children becoming criminals in later life, and wondered if you'd allow me to interview you, and follow up on your child's criminal career in, say 10 years." Trouble is, they'd probably say yes, and be flattered.... I can use this one on the soccer mums, single out the leader. PS isi - yeah its got to be legal, though the thought was nice... Link to post Share on other sites
Næt. Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Offer their children sweets. They'll take them away soon enough. Link to post Share on other sites
SlightlyMetaphysical Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Intruder alert! If I'm not allowed in at 17, Fishy can't be at 18. *drags Fish out by the fins* Young people today, we have no respect for your privacy! Link to post Share on other sites
Næt. Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I have the mind of an old person. I'm grumpy and everything. Link to post Share on other sites
isillote Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Intruder alert! If I'm not allowed in at 17, Fishy can't be at 18.*drags Fish out by the fins* Young people today, we have no respect for your privacy! You are allowed! You're apprentice curmudgeons! Come back, learn the trade! Link to post Share on other sites
SlightlyMetaphysical Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Oh hooray, thank you, thank you, than- I mean, about time, too. *sits down and looks grumpy* Link to post Share on other sites
Næt. Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Does anyone else think that modern music is really, really shit? Link to post Share on other sites
Tikva Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Does anyone else think that modern music is really, really shit? Very funny Fish, but I'm not taking the bait. :P If you were to seriously ask that question you'd need to modify it. What genre do you think is "really, really shit?" ??? (Modern or not...) Link to post Share on other sites
Næt. Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 It all sounds the god-damn same! Link to post Share on other sites
Tikva Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Then turn up the volume!! Link to post Share on other sites
osito Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 fish said: Does anyone else think that modern music is really, really shit? Are we talking about Arnold Schoenberg or Marilyn Manson? Link to post Share on other sites
Dame du Lac Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 fish said:Does anyone else think that modern music is really, really shit? Are we talking about Arnold Schoenberg or Marilyn Manson? A mature gentleman I know has been known to say "Elvis Presley? Who's he?" Link to post Share on other sites
SlightlyMetaphysical Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 It's odd, whenever I try to start up a conversation about modern music over the last few decades, I always get comments about entomology. While I'm here, does anyone have any good comebacks for people with headphones? I tend to go on the stock answer of mouthing things as if they can't hear me. Link to post Share on other sites
Shaggy Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 I ... Quite ........ Like ............. The ..................... Ents! Must Google Their Mology! Link to post Share on other sites
cozy n. bizzy Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 My mum used to say "Don't go away mad - just go away". That pretty much encapsulates my attitude --(sitting, rocking, sucking gums) Link to post Share on other sites
Tanwen Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 This was emailed to me by a work colleague - I'm going to post in JFF too but some of you may not venture in there... "For all Employees Who Work With Rude Customers An award should go to the Virgin Airlines gate attendant in Sydney some months ago for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, ' I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS'. The attendant replied, 'I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out.' The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, 'DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?' Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: 'May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please,' she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. 'We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS . If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14.' With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, 'F... You!' Without flinching, she smiled and said, ( I love this bit )................. 'I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too.' " Link to post Share on other sites
Tikva Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 That is hysterical Tanwen!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: Thanks for posting it! Link to post Share on other sites
Tikva Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 It's odd, whenever I try to start up a conversation about modern music over the last few decades, I always get comments about entomology. Insects? Why? Link to post Share on other sites
SlightlyMetaphysical Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 ...*waits for someone to get my obviously-too-obscure joke* First one to get it gets Link to post Share on other sites
Tikva Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 It's odd, whenever I try to start up a conversation about modern music over the last few decades, I always get comments about entomology. Comments about The Beetles? Link to post Share on other sites
SlightlyMetaphysical Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 It's odd, whenever I try to start up a conversation about modern music over the last few decades, I always get comments about entomology. Comments about The Beetles? YAY! Link to post Share on other sites
Næt. Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Comments about talking trees! Link to post Share on other sites
isillote Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 Yes, I thought of talking trees, too! Oh Tanwen, that was wonderful!! I wish I'd been there... have some Link to post Share on other sites
The Pixel Monk Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 So ... what is a good curmudgeonly response when you see a mother parading her under aged daughter around in a teeny tiny little hooker's outfit, complete with makeup and jewelry? Apprentice Curmudgeon Monk reporting. "Oh, wow, I didn't know Hefner liked them quite that young. Is her name Trixi or Candi?" Link to post Share on other sites
C.nick Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 Another one: You see two young folks walking around in public, perhaps in a mall, with their hands in each other's back pockets. Reaction? Pick pocket 'em for all they've got honey. Link to post Share on other sites
anticulus Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 So I challenge fellow curmudgeons to come up with a proper rejoinder when listening to someone (usually) under the age of 25 use the word "like" every second word in their conversation with you. I've not been able to think of one, other than just looking monumentally irritated. You could always try doing exactly the same back to them, but with a different word. "Trousers", "floppy", "circumlocution", "floccinaucinihilipilification", the choice is yours! Link to post Share on other sites
Shaggy Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed. On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?' And God agreed. On the third day, God created the cow and said: 'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.' The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?' And God agreed again. On the fourth day, God created man and said: 'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.' But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?' 'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.' So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. Now piss off. Link to post Share on other sites
JojoDay Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 On the fourth day, God created man and said:'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.' But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?' 'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.' So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. :D This is GREAT Shaggy!! Okay if I share it with others outside of Aven? Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 I started barking quite early. It's now simultaneous barking and doing tricks for grandchild. I try not to bark AT the grandchild. Link to post Share on other sites
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