KAGU143 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 I know that Shaggy and Sally came up with it first, but I am totally swiping their idea. :P Truly inspired curmudgeonly behavior is an acquired skill, and I'm sure that we all could use some additional pointers from time to time. Please feel free to offer any examples or suggestions that you can think of here in this thread. Tips, anybody? Imagine a situation that brings out the curmudgeon in you, and tell us what you would do. (I will add some of my own in a few days.) -GB Link to post Share on other sites
Shaggy Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 Why, ... GBRD ... You cheeky young thing ... :lol: I'm not sure that a public forum is appropriate for Advanced Curmudgeon Classes. Perhaps you could ask Coleslaw for a password protected sub-forum? :) I'm sure Sally could come up with an "Entrance Exam Paper" for membership. She's so experienced in these matters, that I would defer to her judgment. Perhaps a few snippets from "Curmudgeon 201" might suffice till that transpires? ===================== "Honesty is the Best Policy, especially when it encourages an errant viewpoint holder TO SHUT UP!" Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 Having been directly challenged, I of course can't come up with anything that isn't lame. Not that that will prevent me from pointing out in curmudgeonly fashion when someone else's contribution is lame. So I challenge fellow curmudgeons to come up with a proper rejoinder when listening to someone (usually) under the age of 25 use the word "like" every second word in their conversation with you. I've not been able to think of one, other than just looking monumentally irritated. Link to post Share on other sites
KAGU143 Posted October 4, 2008 Author Share Posted October 4, 2008 I have a habit of resorting to mockery when I am confronted by, like, you know, like ... too many likelike likes. The bad part is that it goes over their heads so fast they never even see it. Whoooosh!!! So ... what is a good curmudgeonly response when you see a mother parading her under aged daughter around in a teeny tiny little hooker's outfit, complete with makeup and jewelry? Another one: You see two young folks walking around in public, perhaps in a mall, with their hands in each other's back pockets. Reaction? -GB Link to post Share on other sites
Shaggy Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 I've not been able to think of one, other than just looking monumentally irritated. Ah, ... yes ... from Curmudgeon 201 ... "A Withering Look, ... At the right Moment, ... can speak Volumes!" Link to post Share on other sites
Shockwave Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 So ... what is a good curmudgeonly response when you see a mother parading her under aged daughter around in a teeny tiny little hooker's outfit, complete with makeup and jewelry? Boy they grow up fast. Why, in just a few years she'll be shaving her and going to rehab. Another one: You see two young folks walking around in public, perhaps in a mall, with their hands in each other's back pockets. Reaction? You can pick your friends, you can pick your ass, but you . . . ummm, nevermind. Link to post Share on other sites
Shaggy Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 I challenge fellow curmudgeons to come up with a proper rejoinder when listening to someone (usually) under the age of 25 use the word "like" every second word in their conversation with you. "Is there something specific you wish for me to like ... . . . . ............................................................like? Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 This is really mean, not just curmudgeonly, but what the hell. For the woman whose daughter is tarted up: "I think you forgot to put the price tag on your daughter." Oooh, that is really mean. Link to post Share on other sites
KAGU143 Posted October 5, 2008 Author Share Posted October 5, 2008 This goes in the "Things you would think but not quite be brave enough to say" department. To the woman with the mini-hooker daughter: "Are you her mother or her madame?" *meow* Someday when I grow up to be a REAL curmudgeon I hope to be brave (or oblivious) enough to say what I really think. -GB Link to post Share on other sites
Shaggy Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 So ... what is a good curmudgeonly response when you see a mother parading her under aged daughter around in a teeny tiny little hooker's outfit, complete with makeup and jewelry?-GB Perhaps a good lead-in to each of your responses would be ... "Fancy Dress Party?" Complete with a nice big :) ... Upon receiving a "blank" reply, each of those could be delivered with well deserved venom! :twisted: Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 For the couple with their hands in each other's pants: "Looking for something?" Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 I just crack 'em with my cane. I'm allowed to do this because I have an arthritic ankle. Link to post Share on other sites
je_suis_napoleon Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 When someone with too much perfume get on the bus, I've been known to turn to my friend and loudly remark, "What is SHE trying to cover up?" That's a bit more subtle than my mother's "What smells like a French whore house?" BTW, you kids get off my lawn!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Shockwave Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 That's a bit more subtle than my mother's "What smells like a French whore house?" While I find that one funny, if I heard it I would probably look at the speaker and say, "How do you know what a French whorehouse smells like?" accompanied by this expression -> Link to post Share on other sites
Teresa48 Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 When I see a mother in a store whose child is screaming, turning red-faced, and demanding a toy or candy, and mom caves in to the child's tantrum, after initially saying "No, I'm not going to buy that for you," or "I'm going to count to 3, and you better stop screaming," I want to say, "Wow, good parenting!" I think these things, but do not act on them, so I guess I am a "closet curmudgeon." Link to post Share on other sites
Tikva Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 This is really mean, not just curmudgeonly, but what the hell.For the woman whose daughter is tarted up: "I think you forgot to put the price tag on your daughter." Oooh, that is really mean. Good one Sally! I don't think that's "mean" at all! What is truly "mean" (read 'stomach-churning') is the dastardly mother "parading her under age daughter around in a teeny tiny little hooker's outfit..." This goes in the "Things you would think but not quite be brave enough to say" department.To the woman with the mini-hooker daughter: "Are you her mother or her madame?" *meow* Someday when I grow up to be a REAL curmudgeon I hope to be brave (or oblivious) enough to say what I really think. -GB *waves hand in air* Me too, me too!! After writing that little ditty in the, "...old and grey..", thread about me being "older and bolder" and speaking my mind "as I please", I must confess that I too am not "brave (or oblivious) enough" to say either yours or Sally's comment to the mini-hooker's mom. *sigh* Is there a crash-course in 'Curmudgeonliness'? A week-end workshop? Something? Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Oh heck, I'm not brave enough to actually *say* these things! Not yet. Maybe next year when I lose any public self-control, as well as having already lost all my patience. Link to post Share on other sites
Tikva Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Oh heck, I'm not brave enough to actually *say* these things! Not yet. Maybe next year when I lose any public self-control, as well as having already lost all my patience. That's okay! Losing your "public self-control" is a step toward high curmudgeoness. Having already lost your patience is a good sign too, as it will keep you from losing your mind. Your mind is a valuable resource and we love hearing you give a piece of it! ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Tikva Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 That's a bit more subtle than my mother's "What smells like a French whore house?" While I find that one funny, if I heard it I would probably look at the speaker and say, "How do you know what a French whorehouse smells like?" accompanied by this expression -> :lol: I've said something similar----many times. Whenever someone says, "This tastes like sh--", I always say, "How do you know what....." Link to post Share on other sites
Shaggy Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 But Sex is so wonderful, so spiritual! It must be. :) Elephants, Giraffes and Hyenas do it. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest DiscoBison Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 But Sex is so wonderful, so spiritual! It must be. :) Elephants, Giraffes and Hyenas do it. :) and frogs... and slugs... and the male earwig has a penis that is longer than his body, even going as far as to carry a 'spare' one (don't you just love Stephen Fry..those of you in the UK?). I bet there are even more disgusting things than these going on out there *closes curtains and peers suspiciously out into the garden*. Link to post Share on other sites
KAGU143 Posted October 8, 2008 Author Share Posted October 8, 2008 Earwigs, eh? 'Never heard about their private assets, but I will never be able to hear the little song that goes -- "Who's that knocking at my door?" (repeat 3x) "It's Barnacle Bill the sailor!" -- without seriously wondering exactly what Barnacle Bill is using to knock on that door. I researched barnacles once for a totally innocent reason, and yowzah! Well ... I guess something had to win. Now, back to the topic at hand: What would be a good curmudgeonly response when you get REALLY bad service at a restaurant? Say, dirty silverware, hairs, bugs (NOT listed on the menu) or whatever. -GB Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 Married friend says, "You just never found the right man!" I reply, "And you did?" Married friend says, "I'd hate to be unmarried and die alone." I reply, "Is George planning to make you die first?" Married friend says, "I just don't know ANYTHING about finances; I'm glad George does all that!" I reply, "You'd better hope George doesn't develop Alzheimers." Married friend says, "Luckily, George doesn't bother me THAT WAY anymore." I reply, "I wish I could say the same." All nasty indeed! Link to post Share on other sites
Tanwen Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 Is there a beginners class? Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 Is there a beginners class? Jump right in. I don't know if any of us would actually do this stuff. I don't have the nerve, yet, so it's all kind of like fiction-writing for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Shaggy Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 What would be a good curmudgeonly response when you get REALLY bad service at a restaurant? Say, dirty silverware, hairs, bugs (NOT listed on the menu) or whatever.-GB ... Something like this .... :D Link to post Share on other sites
mackat5 Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 As an ex waitress, if you reallly get bad service, leave a penny. That's an insult to any decent waitress! One person I know suggested leaving said penny in a glass of water! Now for bad food, that's not always the waitress' fault.(unless it's cold) Link to post Share on other sites
Hammerhead Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 As an ex waitress, if you reallly get bad service, leave a penny. Funny you should mention the penny thing. One evening a couple friends and I went to an Italian restaurant for a late dinner, around 10 PM. There were only a couple of other customers so the place definitely wasn’t busy. Still the service was bad. When it was time to leave we decided not to leave a tip. When I got up and reached into my pocket to get my car keys I found I had a couple of pennies so I left it on the table. As we started to drive away the waitress came charging out the front door and threw the pennies at my car. I guess she didn’t like the 2 cent tip. Link to post Share on other sites
Tanwen Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 When I'm walking round the shop, working (so obviously in uniform), when a customer asks 'Do you work here?' I would so like to be able to say 'Nah, just wearing this for a bet.' Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 I go into restaurant alone. Server sits me right next to the kitchen although there are small tables available in other sections of the room. OK, I don't have a response here. What would all of you say? Curmudgeonly, not just politely asking for another table. Maybe this isn't an occasion for a retort if you don't want to get something icky in your soup. But this has happened to me and other women and we don't see it happening to men. Link to post Share on other sites
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