Would you tell your story to a women's magazine?

[features282]

Hi there,

I'm a features writer and I supply stories to all the major UK women's magazines, inc Take A Break, Real People, Pick Me Up, Bella, Best, Grazia etc

I'm looking for an asexual woman, aged 18-55, who is in a relationship with a hetrosexual man, and would like to be featured in a magazine.

Though it is not essential, ideally your story will have an unusual twist, for example:

-I've been married 25 years... but never had sex

-I pay for prostitutes to keep my man satisfied

-I'm an asexual and I work in the porn industry

If both you and your partner would be willing to be photographed and talk openly about your relationship, please get in touch.

Contacting me puts you under no obligation whatsoever.

I will discuss the process with you and it will be up to you whether you want to go ahead.

You would also be paid well for your time.

Whatever your story, please be assured that it would be sensitively handled and I would read it back to you prior to print to ensure you are 100% happy.

So if you fancy featuring in a magazine, email me a summary of your story along with your contact details.

Send it to tellmeyourstory@hotmail.co.uk and I'll get straight back to you.

[thylacine]

You want to find out about asexual women who hire prostitutes and work in the porn industry? Oh come on. Don't you want to find out about asexual women who work at normal jobs and live like everyone else? You know, like work for a living, pay bills, do the laundry, feed the cat, & stuff?

How about I'm asexual, I work 2 jobs, yet keep my home immaculately clean! Or, I'm asexual, I work 2 jobs, and all my co-workers are plotting to get me married against my will!

Oh, I've got one for you: I'm asexual and I listen to my friends cry all night long about their relationship problems! That's real enough for me! Why don't you try that one instead?

Good luck, features.

[Jean Grey]

Wow, doesn't that interview request just take the cake? I thought the "We only want to interview couples" routine was as offensive as it could possibly get - as if single people weren't people at all - but looks like I was wrong. "We only want married prostitutes" does seem to be just a teenytiny bit more extreme. I suggest that in the true spirit of sensationalism you just make your story up.

[thylacine]

Oh, yes, I agree with Jean Grey here. Sounds like the National Enquirer to me.

[Melon]

Many people here are going to be grossly offended by the sensationalist angle you are wanting. But for that, I would have considered telling you the story of how my husband and I happily overcame years of difficulty when we realised I was asexual. But if you are someone who seeks stories like you have described, I would not touch your offer with a barge pole.

[features282]

Many thanks for your comments.

Jean, I think you have mis-read my post as you have twice quoted things I didn't say.

And just because in this case I am looking for couples, it does not mean single people can't have interesting stories. Of course not. All it means is that, on this occasion, I am looking for a couple.

Please be assured, Melon, that I am in no way looking for a "sensationalist angle". I want only the truth, but as you will appreciate, the more unusual your truthful situation, the more chance it has of being of interest to a women's magazine.

Quite simply, I would ask you to consider, "Would I like to read my story in a women's magazine?" If the answer is 'Yes. It's really inspirational/ unusual/ moving/ funny' then please get in touch.

Also, please note my phrase "Though it is not essential..." as this explains I am happy to hear all sorts of other stories. So if you would like to email me your happy tale I would be delighted to read it.

It is up to you of course. I apologise if I caused any offence. It was certainly not intended.

[AVENCakes]

-I pay for prostitutes to keep my man satisfied

All I can think of is "He can pay for his own damn whores". I think there's someone on here who's a stripper, but she might be single, so, yeah.

[thylacine]

If you only want the truth, then instead of asking for asexuals who work in the sex industry and hire prostitutes, why didn't you ask about average asexual people living average asexual lives... ?

Like, you know, what do you do for work, what college you went to, do your friends annoy you by trying to fix you up, stuff like that, you know, normal stuff we deal with on a daily basis... not working in the porn industry & hire prostitutes stuff...

[Sally]

Usually "real" journalists don't give their subjects control of what appears in the story, and they don't pay people either.

This sounds like a hoax.

[isillote]

In view of the fact that apparently only about 1% of us are asexual, and most people seem to have no idea of what asexuality is, surely ANY story would be unusual? Your post indicates that you're looking for a sensationalist kind of story, rather than a sympathetic intelligent article about the problems and hurdles asexuals living in a sexual world have to overcome.

I'm in a happy long-term relationship with a sexual man, but from the tone of your posts, I would be no more likely to tell you my story than I would the Sun. And the publications you mention hardly give me confidence that this would be a useful thing for the asexual community.

Good luck, but I think that most AVENites are too intelligent to agree to make themselves objects of pity/ridicule, as these magzines' articles tend to do.

[Vermeulen]

Props Avenites you tell her

[Blueflare]

Any sensationalist "angle" would a) distract from any useful information about asexuality and/or b) give people a false impression of asexual people.

Just my opinion.

[thylacine]

Absolutely, Soph.

[Sally]

There's a website called Tellmeyourstory.com which appears to be a marketing tool for writers wanting work. The website has a number of typos on it -- not very impressive. It also mentions a self-publishing company. If this person is connected with that, it isn't from a magazine writer, but a freelancer who just wants a juicy story to try to shop. Pretty reprehensible.

[metalgirl2045]

I'm not very surprised or shocked. I don't buy women's mags because they're full of stuff with all the kind of rubbish people in this thread have already objected to. She sounds genuine to me, if someone who had worked for those women's mags wanted any asexual with a good story to tell even if it wasn't mildly pornographic then I'd be suspicious!

The couples only thing is ridiculous. If articles on single asexuals were overdone then I would see the point, but in the type of magazine which only talks about sex, fashion, sex, babies, sex, harrowing tragic life stories and...did I mention sex? ANY mention of asexuality would be a refreshing change, in the unlikely event it was done well!

[knoxroxmysox]

It seems to me that if we really wanted exposure, we would want the kind that portrays us as normal, high-functioning human beings.

A whole article about an asexual woman who pays for her husband's prostitutes would almost certainly put a new and offensive stereotype out into the world. We really don't need that. I think most of us are having enough troubles with misinformation and misunderstandings as it is.

I understand that you mean it only as an example, but even the fact that you mentioned it as a preference comes off as insulting. That's not the image of asexuals we want out there. We'd rather have images of asexual Average Joes than asexual porn stars out there.

[thylacine]

That's right, Knox. Why not have an article about an average asexual joe or jane, not some stupid asexual porn star prostitute crap. That's just exploitive.

Metal. You are right. A lot of women's mags are just plain dumb. They seem to cater to people with "room temperature I.Q.'s."

[Shaggy]

A Magazine Article ... ??

I'd be holding out for the 'Book" deal ...

Whoooop!

Are we talking residuals ...?

Who controls the Screenplay ...?

Final say over Casting ...?

(And you'd want your own Trailer of course ... )

[Nez]

You would also be paid well for your time.

Fantastic, we'll put that towards our prostitute account.

[cijay]

For as much as I'd never participate in an article like this...wouldn't it be nice to just let someone write the article that s/he wants to write and hear from the people s/he wants to hear from instead of all of the people s/he doesn't?

Why isn't she writing about single asexuals who have normal jobs and live normal lives? Because she wants to write about married asexuals who pay for whores for their husbands.

It's kind of like...reading a dog fancier's magazine then asked "why do you never feature stories about horses in your dog magazine? People have horses too you know." Yes, they do have horses and there are horse magazines with no dog features.

So, yes, there are many single asexuals (me included) who work normal jobs and just get on with their lives and it's nice to read articles about them too but there are also married asexuals who buy whores for their husbands and it's an open agreement.

[metalgirl2045]

I know people who have been burned by sensationalist media. Journalists for less publications who value sensationlism over truth manipulate and edit what someone has said and add an offensive headline to make the interviewee and the group they're supposed to represent look like idiots. If an asexual who pays for her husband's prostitutes wants to write a real life story for the AVEN website that's one thing, but they might get a nasty shock when they saw the finished item if it was for a trashy women's magazine.

[Skylark]

For as much as I'd never participate in an article like this...wouldn't it be nice to just let someone write the article that s/he wants to write and hear from the people s/he wants to hear from instead of all of the people s/he doesn't?

Why isn't she writing about single asexuals who have normal jobs and live normal lives? Because she wants to write about married asexuals who pay for whores for their husbands.

It's kind of like...reading a dog fancier's magazine then asked "why do you never feature stories about horses in your dog magazine? People have horses too you know." Yes, they do have horses and there are horse magazines with no dog features.

So, yes, there are many single asexuals (me included) who work normal jobs and just get on with their lives and it's nice to read articles about them too but there are also married asexuals who buy whores for their husbands and it's an open agreement.

I'm with cijay on this one. I think some of the posters above have actually been incredibly rude in response to a valid request. Give this person a break, for heaven's sake! Yes, they were rather indiscreet about asking for a topic, but they were honest about it, and, given the number of people who actually want to appear in sensationalist magazines/TV shows and the like in general, they weren't altogether unreasonable in asking. I couldn't believe the sarcasm and general hate that some of the replies put forward - perhaps a sensationalist view of asexuality won't do anything to promote positive attitudes in the community, but neither will flaming journalists on the AVEN forums. I want to apologise to the original poster for some of those earlier comments. They were way out of line.

[metalgirl2045]

A friend of mine nearly had serious troubles with his job because sensationalist press reported what they wanted to say rather than what he actually said. I'm just trying to protect forum members who have never dealt with the press (I'm guessing that includes you) from messing with an extremely dangerous and unpleasant business. I would never deal with a women's magazine for anything more controversial than a recipe.

[cijay]

A friend of mine nearly had serious troubles with his job because sensationalist press reported what they wanted to say rather than what he actually said. I'm just trying to protect forum members who have never dealt with the press (I'm guessing that includes you) from messing with an extremely dangerous and unpleasant business. I would never deal with a women's magazine for anything more controversial than a recipe.

So then okay, don't deal with the women's magazine for anything more than recipes (actually, I don't even think I've read it for that) but there could be others who are interested. It's like, if someone from a nudie magazine posted on here and said "I want to take pictures of the naked human body. would anyone like to model?" No, those magazines aren't for me (I don't think, actually I've never seen one) but some people here may be cool with displaying his/herself in a magazine. It doesn't have to involve you at all.

It's just...wouldn't it be nice if someone came onto the board, made a fairly simple request/posted a fairly simple poll without being met with such opposition from the people who don't plan on being involved in it in the first place? The original poster didn't ask 'what do you think about it' or for any advice, just asked if anyone would be interested in being featured and asked very politely.

All I ask is that AVENites give people the same respect that they wish to receive.

[reptilelover]

All I ask is that AVENites give people the same respect that they wish to receive.

There’s nothing even beginning to resemble respectful in that “interview” request. Disrespect wrapped in pretty words is still disrespect.

Using your own logic, if the replays to this thread bother you so much, why do you read them (and bother to reply to them) at all?

Why shouldn’t people say what they think about the proposal/idea in question? The person posted a post on a discussion forum, so why shouldn’t people, you know, discuss? That they all seem to have similar opinions on the matter in question is irrelevant...

Anyways, why shouldn’t people say what they think about certain proposal/idea in general? If the original poster didn’t want to discuss and wanted only an add, then they should have asked a mod to lock their thread so as to "polite", “respectful” request for their "interview" be only an add.

[Jean Grey]

Great post, reptilelover!

Obviously this interview request annoyed quite a lot of people, & probably not for no reason (unless they are all insane, extremely touchy or easily offended). So please don't tell people that they have no right/ reason to be offended when they feel that they do. That is really not your call.

Imagine someone coming to a vegetarian forum asking people there about all their meat stories. Don't you think that a couple of raised eyebrows would be the minimum effect of that? "Hey, I want people to hear more about the vegetarian way of life so tell me all about your days full of meat! But only if you're in a relationship, of course!"

Am I not allowed to say that I want to read respectful stories about asexuality, and not sensationalism? Am I not allowed to voice that preference? Why?

Personally, I am tired of those "we only want (asexual) couples" interview requests. Yes, they do insult me. There, I said it. Like thylacine said, they insult (or at least totally ignore/invalidate) our daily struggle with our 'condition' (I realize that it is not a struggle for everybody, but it is for quite a lot of people), and we should be allowed to comment on that in a thread that is neither closed for comment nor in a more appropriate announcement or visibility section of the board.

[Sally]

Here's something maybe we haven't considered.

The "writer" didn't use a name. He/she simply gave an email address which happens to be a website for writers hoping to shop stories. We don't know who this person is -- it could be anyone at any organization. So we weren't showing disrespect to a particular person.

Here again is what was suggested in the "ad":

Examples of stories:

"-I've been married 25 years... but never had sex

-I pay for prostitutes to keep my man satisfied

-I'm an asexual and I work in the porn industry"

If both you and your partner would be willing to be photographed and talk openly about your relationship, please get in touch."

Can anyone really imagine getting their partner/husband into such a deal? Do any of us have partners/husbands who would want to appear in such a story, let alone us appearing in such a story?

That's a really crude come-on. It doesn't merit anything but exactly what we each thought, and we stated what we thought, on our discussion forum, as reptilelover said.

[Jibun]

I incredibly doubt the person here is a real journalist.

They didn't even give their name, let alone verifiable contact info. If you look through the post, the ONLY source of contact given was a HOTMAIL address. This is simply not a request from a professional journalist.

I'd imagine them to be a troll.

[metalgirl2045]

So then okay, don't deal with the women's magazine for anything more than recipes (actually, I don't even think I've read it for that) but there could be others who are interested. It's like, if someone from a nudie magazine posted on here and said "I want to take pictures of the naked human body. would anyone like to model?" No, those magazines aren't for me (I don't think, actually I've never seen one) but some people here may be cool with displaying his/herself in a magazine. It doesn't have to involve you at all.

Err...notice the bit where I said I was trying to PROTECT other forum members who don't know what the problem is. Like you it would seem. If it had been a private email to me I would have just deleted it, but it seems a lot of people here are totally unaware of how dangerous it is to deal with dodgy press because most people have never done so. This has NOTHING to do with whether I want to reply, I'm just giving an honest warning to others.

[Skylark]

A friend of mine nearly had serious troubles with his job because sensationalist press reported what they wanted to say rather than what he actually said. I'm just trying to protect forum members who have never dealt with the press (I'm guessing that includes you)

I have dealt with the press, and I'm not incapable of figuring out the likelihood of unfair play, thank you. I know what can happen, and I'm sure most people are smart enough to realise this as well. It's all very well to want to 'protect' people, but that's no reason for people be rude to others in the process. I wasn't actually referring to your comments, in any case.