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the reaction of sexuals to us


dame_wilbur

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It was probably constantly playing around in their mind. They were definitely intrigued and were still wrapping their head around it? I'm pretty sure when I was told I couldn't stop thinking about it... asexuality really is something different to sexuals, it just takes some getting use too and understanding =)

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  • 4 weeks later...

Twist it on them, I often do things like say, "Says the sexual" when they say something anti-sex and when I'm talking about my friends there is my bi friend my gay friend and my sexual friend, because it doesn't really have a ring to it saying my hetero friend (Even though they are all sexual

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Heh, just cause this was bumped, i thought i'd share a friend story.

My friends at uni are doing a psych project replica on digit ratio and homosexuality/heterosexuality, and asked me to take part. I said i would do it but might scew the results because im ace. So they got back to me and were like...Oh...so your not attracted to males or females? That's a shame it means you don't get kisses? And they're now going to add asexuality into the project. xD

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I had something similar happen to me, and it really rubbed me the wrong way. Like, the way he handled it I felt like a novelty to him.

It's one of the (many) reasons we're not friends anymore, actually.

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Twist it on them, I often do things like say, "Says the sexual" when they say something anti-sex and when I'm talking about my friends there is my bi friend my gay friend and my sexual friend, because it doesn't really have a ring to it saying my hetero friend (Even though they are all sexual

I think "straight friend" has a good ring to it, though.

Asexual you say? does that mean your gay? ignorance only exists if we do not inform the ignorant. I prefer the term nonsexual myself

There's been a lot of back and forth on that. On that note- every single time I said asexual, I had one teacher that thought I meant 'gay'. I'd immediately correct it with 'nonsexual' and he'd know exactly what I meant.

And people do need to be informed. That's why I get kinda nervous when romantics don't say they're asexual, but go by their romantic orientation. It's not totally wrong, but you aren't heterosexual, you're asexual and if you just say you're straight to make it easier, it's your right but it's kind of getting in the way of spreading awareness.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I prefer not mentioning my asexuality because I'm not too sure about it yet. Asied from that, I prefer hetero - biromantic asexual or at least hetero- romantic asexual than just asexual because it defines me more fully. Most people when I say I'm asexual think I don't like having boyfriends or have intimacy issues. I don't. I just haven't felt a need to be more intimate yet and also it's not that I don't sex or even want to have it it's that I'm indifferent to it. As opposed to desiring to have it with someone in the future which most of my single friends even the ones that aren't promisicuous sexuals.

So really, I prefer to say I'm indifferent to me wanting sex rather than just asexual. It usually gets the point across faster.

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Wings of a Dream

Hmm, never been introduced as asexual...Though when I met my best friend's boyfriend for the first time, she introduced me like this:

"This is Jenny, the one I told you about who doesn't want any nookie."

So, yeah, I just found that funny more than anything. She'd already told her boyfriend that I'm asexual (and thus he was reluctant to hug me for fear of offending me which I thought was sweet of him) and it really didn't bother me at all.

I think at lot of it is about how it's done. The tone and the words people use always affect the meaning of what they say.

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  • 1 month later...
She'd already told her boyfriend that I'm asexual (and thus he was reluctant to hug me for fear of offending me which I thought was sweet of him) and it really didn't bother me at all

That's adorable! And so considerate!

I haven't told my friends I'm asexual. It seems weird to me to talk about sex just to say I don't want to talk about sex anymore. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have them afford me the same respect they afford my bi friend, but I still won't tell them. Mostly because I don't want them looking at my husband and saying that he's bad in bed, and that's why I don't like sex. I love my husband dearly and would never want anyone to insult him like that.

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I think it's just because it's unusual, a bit of a novelty. I assume homosexuals went through a similar period.

that's a good point.

Doesn't make it less annoying, though. I mean, what are they even saying? I can't work out whether it's "... so don't bother hitting on them", or "see how tolerant I am, with a "queer" friend?"

That's how I would see it if someone did it to me.

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mad_scientist
I think it's just because it's unusual, a bit of a novelty. I assume homosexuals went through a similar period.

that's a good point.

Doesn't make it less annoying, though. I mean, what are they even saying? I can't work out whether it's "... so don't bother hitting on them", or "see how tolerant I am, with a "queer" friend?"

That's how I would see it if someone did it to me.

My grandmother likes to show how non-racist she is by pointing out the aboriginal bridesmaid in her wedding pictures. It's kind of amusing.

Somehow doesn't have the right ring to it but you see what I mean. We don't have nice big parades telling people we're around.

And if we did, there wouldn't be so many sequined leotards and scrawny, hairy men feeling each other up. Nor would condoms be thrown into the crowd.

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