LonePiper Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 The way I look at it, some asexuals are celibate some are not. The reason is that some asexuals may not be particularly adverse to sex and have the opportunity to do it, yet choose not to. I would call these celibate. Others innately dislike the idea and/or have no opportunity to do it. I wouldn't call these celibate. Link to post Share on other sites
AVENCakes Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Even if you take Wikipedia as more reliable than Merriam Webster, which is an odd thing to do Okay, I looked at several online dictionaries already and put them in the original thread, I said so in that post. I went to wiki because it's a bit longer and more indepth than most definitions. But, since apparently Webster is omniscient, here's webster on Celibate: Adjective 1. Abstaining from sexual intercourse; "celibate priests". Noun 1. An unmarried person who has taken a religious vow of chastity. Chastity: 1. Abstaining from sexual relations. 2. Morality with respect to sexual relations. Abstain: 1. Refrain from voting. 2. Choose to refrain; "I abstain from alcohol". (notice this doesn't mention a single thing about desiring the thing you're refraining from) We all good? The way I look at it, some asexuals are celibate some are not. The reason is that some asexuals may not be particularly adverse to sex and have the opportunity to do it, yet choose not to. I would call these celibate. Others innately dislike the idea and/or have no opportunity to do it. I wouldn't call these celibate. Yeah, I've never really considered saying I was celibate. I prefer the term "dying a virgin". Link to post Share on other sites
Aimeendfire Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 yes..I'm good with the definition of celibacy eve if my brain isn't X_X Link to post Share on other sites
santanico Posted September 28, 2008 Author Share Posted September 28, 2008 It has already been pointed out that not all asexuals (according to the Aven definition) abstain from sex, for all kinds of reasons. SlightlyMetaphysical and Snap-Dragon have also said this before. This is puzzling me . So I read the AVEN definition again, and indeed it says asexuals may 'choose to participate in sexual activity'. This it not the same as 'asexuals may have sex', though. But I admit that other asexuals may have another point of view, so I will not anymore deny that some asexuals have sex (in fact I tried to have sex myself for curiosity). Speaking of the AVEN definition, I found an interesting statement about celibacy in the FAQ: 'If you are a sexual person who chooses not to have sex, this is called 'celibacy' or 'abstinence'. There are many reasons sexual people might choose to be celibate. It may be for religious or moral reasons, they may dislike the experience of sex, they may think that sex must only exist as part of a longterm committed relationship. The distinction between asexuality and celibacy or abstinence is that asexuality is not a choice.' I aggree that this statement does not necessarily rule out being asexual and celibate at the same time, though. Link to post Share on other sites
mad_scientist Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 asexual = no sexual attraction celibate = no sex Where's the issue? Link to post Share on other sites
Aimeendfire Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 whether or not being celibate is having the desire to have sex in the first place. the definition mentions nothing on sexual desire so it does not . Link to post Share on other sites
AVENCakes Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 It does mention marriage, though, which implies that marriage does require sex. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Aimeendfire Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 well it is an assumption that if you're married you must be having sex also..which the majority of the population do. so I still think that being celibate does imply that you would have the desire to have sex...I've just grown up thinking that way >_<. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 I suppose that technically, you could be an asexual who's married to a sexual but who is celibate by choice within the marriage. Thereby adding to the seemingly limitless number of sexuals out there who are upset and feeling betrayed by their asexual partners who won't have sex with them. Thus you (asexual) and your sexual marriage partner are both celibate, you by choice and him/her by *your* choice. (Unless he/she has an outside partner.) Link to post Share on other sites
AVENCakes Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 well it is an assumption that if you're married you must be having sex also..which the majority of the population do. I know, it just kinda sucks. Ooh, found stuff on celibate marriage. Life is happy now. so I still think that being celibate does imply that you would have the desire to have sex...I've just grown up thinking that way >_<. People can grow up thinking words have different connotations- which makes this stuff kinda difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
Aimeendfire Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 maybe we should have a poll to see what others here in the site define celibacy to be ..that would be interesting I think Link to post Share on other sites
AVENCakes Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?sho...=34593&st=0 These results should be interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
txviking Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 The concept doesn't make sense to me, even after reading all the explanations people have in this thread. One previous post said it pretty well: Asexuality: Orientation Celibacy: Choice Even though an asexual may be physically able to have sex, it's not something that comes naturally, and it's (from everything I read, and from what I feel personally) awkward at best. That's simply the person you are -- a sexual orientation, just as valid as homosexuality, bisexuality etc. Celibacy, on the other hand, is a lifestyle choice. There may be various motivations for it, from religious requirements to a puritan world view to a test of self-discipline, but it's a choice made IN SPITE of how one feels about sex, not BECAUSE of it. I don't consider myself celibate (although I'm certainly often labeled as such) simply because while I do not have sex, I also do not have a desire for sex. I hope that made sense to someone. :o Link to post Share on other sites
Aimeendfire Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 yeah it made sense to me cause thats the way I see it too. but it's a choice made IN SPITE of how one feels about sex, not BECAUSE of it. very well said that is ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
FuzzyOJ Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 yeah it made sense to me cause thats the way I see it too. but it's a choice made IN SPITE of how one feels about sex, not BECAUSE of it. very well said that is ^_^ Yeah I had to work that one out recently. I always said/thought I was a virgin for religious reasons (unmarried Christian), and while that is true, honestly, I really don't want to have sex, period. And that is what makes me asexual vs celibate. (right?) Link to post Share on other sites
Aimeendfire Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 yeah..but one can also be a celibate asexual it just depends on what celibacy means to you. Since I see celibacy as having the desire to have sex in the first place I would not consider myself a celibate asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
metalgirl2045 Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 If asexuals can choose to have sex, they can also choose to not have sex (abstain?). Does the reason for choosing not to have sex make any difference to whether "celibate" is valid even if we assume it does require deliberate abstinence of some sort? Link to post Share on other sites
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