Live R Perfect Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 OK, the guy in this story has a different definition of asexual, but I thought I'd post it anyway!http://www.chicagoflame.com/news/2004/03/0...nd-628793.shtml 2013 Mod Edit: Sadly, I can't seem to find the above page archived anywhere, but luckily, ApolloSeek has copied and pasted the blog page in post #10 of this same thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Live R Perfect Posted June 15, 2004 Author Share Posted June 15, 2004 And this page is just bizaare! Can anyone translate the dialogue boxes that keep popping up whenever I try to click or press a key? http://www.jugones.net/j/h/fotos/AXESUAL.htm Link to post Share on other sites
junie99 Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 I think the dialog boxes are telling people that they are not allowed to copy & paste. Link to post Share on other sites
Live R Perfect Posted June 15, 2004 Author Share Posted June 15, 2004 But.... I didn't want to copy and paste! I was just looking for a link, ANY LINK, that would explain the purpose of the site! Ah well... Link to post Share on other sites
Kombucha2000 Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 IMO the author doesn't truly believe in asexuality, he's just going along with his friend's proclamation. He mentions an "Andy Challenge" that's like a game for him to try to crack Andy into becoming a sexual. Deep down in my heart, I know Andy isn't really asexual. The poor lad just needs to find the right girl. He also made assumptions about Andy's past to rationalize his asexuality, and poorly ones I might add. wondered if his upbringing had anything to do with his change in sexuality? I don't know Andy's family, but I'm assuming they must be a combination of two things: A.) Andy must have had a Mr. Belvedere type figure in his life, dictating his every move in an annoying English accent, (subsequently ending his attraction toward the male race). B.) Andy must have also been around a Kimmy Gibler from Full House-type girl in his early life. This would explain any lost attraction to the female race, and rightfully so. I think the author's trying to be open-minded by having diverse friends, but he can't accept the fact that maybe Andy is content with being alone and doesn't need to find the 'right girl'. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly Green Monkey Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 I ran the message through a translator, and it spat out "the bellboys of mouse have been disqualified." I think it means that the left mouse button won't work. Link to post Share on other sites
Eta Carinae Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 We all have friends of a different variety. I'm sure we all are guilty of having that one "Republican" friend, Hey, Mr. Berryhill? Bite me. Link to post Share on other sites
ApolloSeek Posted June 17, 2004 Share Posted June 17, 2004 A deconstruction of this is coming soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Shockwave Posted June 17, 2004 Share Posted June 17, 2004 Yes. Where are the Deconstructicons? They should be here any minute. Link to post Share on other sites
ApolloSeek Posted June 17, 2004 Share Posted June 17, 2004 Deconstructicons, transform and attack! Stellar fashion and an asexual friendDo the evolution More like devolution. When a problem comes along, You must whip it . . . (Devo) We all have friends of a different variety. I'm sure we all are guilty of having that one "Republican" friend, or the one friend who listens to "Eye of The Tiger" to get motivated. Well just the other day, I added another awkward friend to my list of weird companions. This one claims to be asexual. That's right, devoid of sexuality! You've just discovered that physical law is the same for everyone. And you've unearthed the awesome notion of normal physiologic variation. Shout in the streets! Proclaim it in the media! Say it twice: normal physiologic variation, normal physiologic variation! Doesn't it feel good? Better devoid of sexuality than intelligence For privacy's sake, we'll just call him Andy: Andy the asexual. Andy was keeping me company in one of the lounges on campus as I waited for my friend; the one that has an absolute stellar sense of fashion. So we were just sitting there talking about Andy's various relationships, which all have resulted in negative outcomes. Sounds like Andy has learned a few lessons about how hollow self-abuse is. Slam blam, no more of this ma'am (or sir). A pity you can't seem to learn this too. Then Andy had this look in his eyes that reminded me of a mad scientist discovering a way to manipulate the entire world by creating an army of fire-breathing cyborgs. In other words, he looked like President Bush, minus the fire-breathing army of cyborgs. (I just added that for effect.)The crazed look in Andy's eyes was that of a personal revelation. He boldly stood up from his seat, put one hand on his hip and one hand out forward in front of him (at this point, I'm thinking Macarena), and Andy declared himself to be asexual. I sat there, kind of disappointed that Andy didn't break into the Macarena, but accepted the fact that he was asexual, a difficult task in its own rite. And you aren't helping by expecting him to perform like a circus freak. Could it be that Andy is a (horrified shock) person. And that some doesn't have to have sex to be person. What a shock! Repent, the end is near!! Then the question probing began, and I asked him what the deal was? Andy said that no one could ever meet his standards. So there it was, the sole reason for Andy's sadness. He couldn't force himself to look past the little things he might find annoying in a person, and accept them whole-heartedly. . . .Editing . . ..You forgot how people are treated in the dating scene-like slabs of meat. Yes, Andy's standards are sooo high-he wants to be treated like a person instead of an object. Pity he can't get past such trifles as wanting respect and dignity. Life is so much easier when you're a doormat. I began drifting in and out of listening to Andy talk about hisproblems and wondered if his upbringing had anything to do with his change in sexuality? I don't know Andy's family, but I'm assuming they must be a combination of two things: A.) Andy must have had a Mr. Belvedere type figure in his life, dictating his every move in an annoying English accent, (subsequently ending his attraction toward the male race). B.) Andy must have also been around a Kimmy Gibler from Full House-type girl in his early life. This would explain any lost attraction to the female race, and rightfully so. Such insight. How do you do it? Analyze Andy's family without knowing them. I see now why Attila the Hun was so mean-his mommy didn't hug him enough. Deep down in my heart, I know Andy isn't really asexual.The poor lad just needs to find the right girl. Oh, really? Who died and made you God? Maybe Andy simply doesn't want sex? If that is so, "finding the right girl" does not apply. You'll see it, given you stop running around with your tongue hanging out. I'm positive Andy the Asexual will get through this difficulttime in his life regarding relationships. So if any fine gal out there believes herself to have absolutely nothing wrong with her, I encourage you to take the Andy Challenge. If all goes well, a reality series will follow shortly. . . . Editing. . . With friends like you, who needs enemies? You make fun of his legitimate needs, try to force him into relationships he doesn't want and then you subject him to a reality show. Real nice. I can imagine The Andy Show. And now your hosts, Saddam Hussien and Henrich Himmler! Link to post Share on other sites
Davey Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 I think I heard Andy cry out with victory. Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 *dying at the free bottoms* Oh, the mirth! It's going to kill me! :lol: *raises fist at the Deconstructicons* Right ON!! Cate Link to post Share on other sites
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