doods Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 Ok, here goes, A friend found this site, and knowing her as I do, I'm relieved to feel like she's finally found people that understand her approach to sex, or should I say her non-approach.. After having read some of the things sexuals and asexuals had to say (I spent a few nights infront of my computer screen), it got me thinking about me (self centered, I know).... I was abused when I was young by a man that I wouldn't recognise if i ever crossed him in the street, but even before that I wanted to be a boy because I liked girls... so anyway this thing happens and I end up sleeping with alot of guys, with some accidents on the way, before rejoining a more healthy lifestyle.... I've noticed that I don't like being sexually touched by others (hence the not liking sex with boys), I initiate eveything, but only i give pleasure, physically, and that's it... I can live without sex, but i need to please people, i find sex uninteresting and sometimes uncomfortable, even with my current partner whom i've been with for 3 years, but only when it concerns my pleasure.... does that make sense? I rarely orgasm if it's not through masterbation, and even though I usually need physical asexual contact, I go through phases where I don't want to be held, or cuddled and sex is completely out of the question.. I used to joke around and call it my asexual period.... The one night stands I used to have weren't for the sex but for the human contact, i felt that without going all the way I wouldn't be able to keep that person's attention, even for just one night, then we'd each go our seperate ways and they wouldn't ask me for anything.. I use the same tecnique with my friends, i've slept with most of then once, just once, and then we stay physically close, but without physical attraction... could i be an asexual who in reaction to a bad experience, became a sexual who uses sex to keep people's attention, feeling that without this "weapon" i would be left alone, or am I just a sexual who needs to become asexual every once in a while to deal with what happened in the past? Any suggestions?? thanks!!! Link to post Share on other sites
happylife Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 I've noticed that I don't like being sexually touched by others It may not be that all the asexuals don't like being sexually touched. But I've learned that some are not big fan of being touched in a sexual way. but only i give pleasure, physically, and that's it... I can live without sex, but i need to please people, i find sex uninteresting and sometimes uncomfortable, I find what you've just said to be pretty asexual-ish. Asexuals do engage in sexual activities and yet don't seem to enjoy doing sexual stuffs with other people beyond light kisses/hugs/hand-holding. The one night stands I used to have weren't for the sex but for the human contact, i felt that without going all the way I wouldn't be able to keep that person's attention, even for just one night, then we'd each go our seperate ways and they wouldn't ask me for anything.. The one night stands. It looks like that's a sad thing to do. :( Don't do that too often. If you have to, keep it all safe. A question you have to ask yourself is this: Do you experience sexual attraction? Your answer'd be...?? Link to post Share on other sites
doods Posted September 15, 2008 Author Share Posted September 15, 2008 hey, thanks for the answer.. well I'm kind of lost in all of this, I've been thinking about ur question, if i feel sexual attraction. I feel an attraction that i've learnt to identify as sexual, but i don't have sexual fantasies, i dont get "turned on", just something about that person attracts my attention, and i see myself spending time with them, getting close, kissing, skin on skin contact but no sex. Link to post Share on other sites
happylife Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 hi! glad you're back!! sexual attraction.. still frickin' hard for me to understand. if you want to know more about it, Click here! . I've come across this definition on the Internet, which seems to be a bit too simply put but quite concise. sexual attraction "when you are attracted to someone sexually, and want them only to sexually please you or something of the sort." [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sexual%20attraction] Link to post Share on other sites
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