Is sex some kind of role play?

[jay williams]

Are all---or at least most---sexuals into sex as part of role play? Rough, tough, macho men and soft, sweet, pliant women are certainly stereotypical roles. Is this more of a Hollywood idea? Or is this how life is---or should be?

Of course, I described heterosexual relationships above. Even "gay" has the same imagery: tops, bottoms, butch, femme, etc.

I ask these questions because the idea of topping or dominating somebody has never had any erotic appeal to me. I have erotic desires and erotic fantasies, but intercourse is never one of them.

[cijay]

Are all---or at least most---sexuals into sex as part of role play? Rough, tough, macho men and soft, sweet, pliant women are certainly stereotypical roles. Is this more of a Hollywood idea? Or is this how life is---or should be?

Of course, I described heterosexual relationships above. Even "gay" has the same imagery: tops, bottoms, butch, femme, etc.

I ask these questions because the idea of topping or dominating somebody has never had any erotic appeal to me. I have erotic desires and erotic fantasies, but intercourse is never one of them.

Interesting question but I think it's a bit impossible to answer. Just as we can't say anything about all or most asexuals, we can't say anything about all or most sexuals.

[< retired >]

Most people have a characteristic and mostly unchanging sexual style. Sexual styles vary widely. One of the factors driving widespread marital infidelity may be a simple desire for sexual variety. Having never been married, I've never had the opportunity to be unfaithful, so this is just speculation on my part.

[jay williams]

Interesting question but I think it's a bit impossible to answer. Just as we can't say anything about all or most asexuals, we can't say anything about all or most sexuals.

Well...you are indeed correct. I did a poor job to frame the question. The question should be whether sex is viewed or experienced as role play for some number of people.

The reason I asked the question is because for many, many years I was attracted to the alt-sex female dominatrix model. I met a number of "dominant" women (through dating services), and discovered that, generally speaking, (most, but not all!) dominant women were actually highly "oversexed", who loved sex a lot! LOL. I also discovered that many "dominant" women complain that they get inundated by men who, like me, believe that screwing is a male dominant activity, and that a dominant woman should regard it as unthinkable. In other words if intercourse is THE normal heterosexual activity, then a role reversal of males and females would negate any desire for intercourse.

Since I have never understood the allure of intercourse, I have searched and researched what type of "orientation" is my type.

[JustJudy]

I used to have a drinking buddy that often described his sex-ploits in detail to me (I think he thought it would turn me on) anyhow with him he was definetly into the roll playing, that was pretty much the only way he'd get excited, he viewed sex as a conquest as do a lot of men that I've known and that is playing a roll.

[AllyCat]

Are all---or at least most---sexuals into sex as part of role play? Rough, tough, macho men and soft, sweet, pliant women are certainly stereotypical roles.

Oh, barf. I'm a sexual, and I do enjoy some kinds of role play as part of a balanced sex life, but the "big, butch man; soft, femme woman" thing makes me want to hurl.

I mean, not that there's anything objectively wrong with those roles it as long as you're not forcing them on other people, but blech.

I also agree with the dominant woman who thinks that intercourse is not an inherently male-dominant activity. How do supposedly submissive men get off telling their partners what they should or shouldn't want?