What do the rest of you consider an "Older Asexual"?

[bURR kEEF]

Just curious. I'm almost 30 and consider myself an older asexual because I've identified for the past 10 or 12 years...and I do feel older and more mature than just a "young man". The rest of you???

[roddy9uk]

As far as this board is concerned I would classify anyone who has got beyond the teenage angst years and has a bit of life experience under their belts as "older".

However, seeing as I am rapidly advancing into senility and free bus-pass territory I would also classify the over 50's as "older".

[TTauri]

Since joining Aven, I've seen a lot of the posters as teenage-early twenties, so if this forum can be seen for mainly the over fifties, what can those of us who are in their late twenties onwards class ourselves as? Can we have a forum just for us???

[Sally]

Maybe "older" could mean that it's been a number of years since we've been living on our own -- i.e., not with our parents or in college dorms/whatever. Maybe people who are 30 or older. I'm in my 60s and I think of older as like 85, so my opinion is not the standard one and I realize I have to extend it quite a bit downward.

[Berkeley Girl]

I'm thinking anyone of a more mature mindset and with a greater pool of experience/knowledge from which to generate opinions.

Now, that person MIGHT be 19 or 20...but then again, they're more likely to be over 25---which is not to say that everyone of more than 30 years is mature. I'm sure we all know people...

The age thing is just a guideline I reckon. Nothing carved in stone.

Okay, maybe we could say that if you use lots of chat slang spelling in your posts and discuss your iPod and what it means to you one too many times it may be best to do that with a slightly more youthful crowd.

[Sally]

And if you talk about your parents and their restrictions on you constantly. That's not to say that a 17-year-old can't be intellectually and emotionally mature (there are a number of very young asexuals on this board who constantly amaze me), but he/she would not be an "older asexual" and wouldn't have the life experience we're talking about. I think we're talking about older asexuals, and not defining personal maturity.

[Ryan Pawz]

I'm 27. I really do not consider myself to be an older A. But there are a great many individuals here whom are under 21. I suppose to me, an older A would be the over 30s. From my point of view tho, at 30, you still got at least another 30 ahead of you provided your in good health, and such. .... Now I'm rambling ^^

[Tikva]

I agree with several of the above statements. I think a very broad definition would be someone who has lived on their own (away from parents/dorm) AND has some life experience.

I know people in their 40's who seem hopelessly immature and definitely lacking in life experience (i.e. they've never broken away from their parents and expect any problems they have to be immediately solved----by someone else).

On the other hand there are young (college-age) people who have had to take on great responsibilities at a very young age. They may never even have had parents (or someone older) to rely on. I fall into that catagory. Although I am in my fifties now, I was quite responsible and independant at 20. (And frankly, more mature than I am now!) I couldn't relate to my peer group because they seemed like such children to me.

Because of my own experience, I tend to judge people by how they act, and not their chronological age. It gets tricky though sometimes. For example, I like to talk to people who lived in the same era as me and can therefore relate to current events of that time. But. I also think the "Baby Boomers" (my generation) are, as a demographic, rather obnoxious, self-centered, still-spoiled little brats!! Ugh!!! Remember, I'm speaking of the Boomers as a demographic. I know, and really like, many Boomer-era and pre-boomer people who don't fall into that "obnoxious..." catagory.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is; we shouldn't put a number (30? 40? 50? 60?..) on who is considered an "older asexual". If one of our Aven members consider themselves to be "older" then, "Welcome! Come On In!".

It's the comfort level that counts.

Bottom line? Self-definition.

[thylacine]

Well... since the majority of people who spend 99.9% of their time in front of a computer are under 20... Anyone over 25 maybe?

[< retired >]

An 'older' asexual is anyone 15 or more years older than you are. Of course, if everyone used this definition, no one would ever post in this forum.

The demographic surveys indicate that the vast majority of AVENites are under 35, so I'd be looking at a cut-off around there. However, it really doesn't matter - the 'older' asexys know who they are

[potentialsurvivor]

I consider the barriers irrelevant, and don't usually follow them, except when creating new topics (which I've yet to do). If it's a matter of identifying who's an older asexual and putting a happyface sticker on their forehead, then I'd have to put one on mine, fast approaching retirement age at 27. There's a lot of experience being shared on this site, be it from youngins, or from folks with more experience singing and dancing in life's rich pageant, so no need to try to fence it in or define it strictly.

[Shockwave]

I'm only 36 but I feel a lot older than most members of AVEN because of the difference in current life circumstance. I'm fairly settled in my ways and don't see a lot of big changes in my future. Because of that I relate more with the older members of the site. To me that's where the dividing line is: which group you relate to more.

Besides, according to the U.S. Census Bureau I'm "middle-aged".

[cijay]

"Older" is an attitude, not an age. "I think, therefore I am."

[Sally]

The demographic surveys indicate that the vast majority of AVENites are under 35, so I'd be looking at a cut-off around there. However, it really doesn't matter - the 'older' asexys know who they are

Yup -- we do -- and we're perfectly happy being considered "older", since there's nothing wrong with being older. I was young long enough. Attitude shmattitude; we're older!

[Næt.]

Anything older than me.

I'm 18.

[KAGU143]

I don't think of our "Older Asexuals" as being of any particular age.

To me it's more a matter of attitude and life experience.

Those things USUALLY come with age, but not always.

Anybody who has moved out of their parent's house and is responsible for themselves will tend to have a different outlook than those who are still at home, and those are the members that I generally think of as "older."

Well, that, and we can also be identified our various cricks and creaks as we type. :P

-GB

[bURR kEEF]

Cool. Good responses, guys. I was just wondering, but keep on discussing if you want to.

[cijay]

Another thing, I think it's because the issues addressed here aren't things like who has high score on video games, who got their tongue pierced and whose parents are being a pain. So it's not really 'age' as much as one who is past all of those steps in life.

[Ziffler]

Another thing, I think it's because the issues addressed here aren't things like who has high score on video games, who got their tongue pierced and whose parents are being a pain. So it's not really 'age' as much as one who is past all of those steps in life.

This is the answer to the question I was looking for as I read through this thread.

When this forum was created, there was a discussion about age limits or experience limits and all that other stuff, and I believe if I'm not mistaken it was pretty much decided that this forum was for any age to read and/or post on, because "Older Asexual" wasn't so much about age as it was about "Topic."

Many of the topics we discuss here are benificial for asexuals of all ages. That is why it is important that this forum always remain open to all ages. It is important that all ages feel comfortable coming in here to read and discuss things of interest to them.

What makes this forum different than the other forums on this site, is the "Topics" discussed.

This forum was set aside to talk about life experiences and how they changed us, molded us, transformed us over time. Its here to talk about the topics of life.

There are plenty of other places on AVEN to discuss ringtones, parental angst, whos going with who at school and that sort of thing. And there is nuthing wrong with discussing those things, just where those discussions take place.

The "Older Asexual" forum gave those of us, that left those concerns behind us in our distant past a place to go to discuss things relevant to our lives now, without having to compete for space on a forum with those who find those other topics of interest to them.

So I dont think it is a matter of age at all. Its a matter of Topic. What is discussed not who is discussing it.

If a 13 year old wishes to post on a thread about colonoscopys, they are welcome to do so and might have some very pertainent information to share. Example if there grandfather just had one and had complications that they could expound upon, it would be worthwhile information to those of us that havent had experience with complications with that proceedure.

The topic is age/experience/maturity sensative but not those who decide to read or post.

So in my opinion, it dont matter if you are 13, 23, 33, 43, 53, 63, 73, 83, 93, 103, this forum is just as much yours as it is anyones. Just stay with Older asexual topics and use the other forums for younger related topics.

Thanks for your time,

Ziff

That is my take on the "Older Asexual" Forum.

[Tikva]

Ziffler said it all....

.....Perfectly!

[Ryan Pawz]

Couldn't see the forest for the trees on this one. Great answer Ziffer :lol:

[Islander9]

Tautoko Ziffler Cijay & Tikva and all other respondees!

When this forum was first mooted, there was a leetle disucssion about whether it was necessary.

The fact that it has stayed round for a year or so says, loud & clear, Yes!

Onwards-

('Tautoko' = I support what you are saying.)

[Seien Hananosei]

Although it's labeled as older, I view it as the same thing as books labeled for 'older audiences' etc. Basically someone who can handle and give advice/opinions on more mature material without being mentally scarred or 'grossed out' or any number of other less than mature reactions. (I myself am guilty of being an older teen in the 'older asexuals' forum.)

[OzWulfer]

I’m 36, but very familiar with the culture of the younger generation, since I tend to work and social with people’s ten years younger then me. I feel more comfortable being around them, share their views and attitudes then the well established, well to do guys whom are married for so many years and have family at my age. And before I sound like some creepy old guy, I always come to this area of AVEN first. I value the experiences of people here, and I wouldn’t consider a relationship with any female younger then me…life experience is a big plus for me.

Most what is posted here by the guys and girls, is often thought provoking, and quite valued.

[cijay]

When this forum was first mooted, there was a leetle disucssion about whether it was necessary.

The fact that it has stayed round for a year or so says, loud & clear, Yes!

Onwards-

('Tautoko' = I support what you are saying.)

Yes, and I seem to remember I was one of the ones who said it wasn't necessary. I love being wrong! I think I had to get my head away from it being a segregation of age thing then I saw the actual value of it.

[bURR kEEF]

Ziffler said it all....

.....Perfectly!

Yes he did. :)

[cdrdash]

My knee jerk reaction was older asexuals are 30 and above. But I like the Zif answer better than mine.

BTW I'm 47 and definitely think of myself as an older asexual.

Cathy

[mad_scientist]

I'm 20 and have identified as asexual for 2 or 3 months... but the large majority of my friends are over 50, do I count?! :)

[Sally]

I'm 20 and have identified as asexual for 2 or 3 months... but the large majority of my friends are over 50, do I count?! :)

Well, I guess you're "older by association"!