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http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2176&p=6

2012 Mod Edit: AVEN appears at page 6 and 7 of the above linked site. For future reference:

Asexual Visibility and Discussion Network

Upon hearing about our next forum you would think that people who abstain from sex would be more mentally stable than those who twist sex into a horrific fetish nightmare. Prepare to be surprised!

What is this shit all about you ask?

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A family that stays together masturbates together.

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Ralph Nader is running for president on the Asexual ballot.

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Make all the choices "I don't care" and you'll have yourself a poll.

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Flatten your chest, remove your genitals, and shave your head. No really, do that. It would be quite a sight. And you'd be able to join the circus.

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THE YAHOO LOTION BACK WILL BE HIS UNDOING!

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Heroin would do the trick.

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Uh, I don't think you've thought this all the way through. You'll still be a huge loser, just without a penis.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a bhuddist walk into a Hot Topic and say, "WHAT A SHITTY FUCKING STORE."

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I think the problem is that these people cannot find anyone to have sex with them and find themselves too repulsive to masturbate themselves.

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I'll bet you a hundred bucks this guy was raised by a single mother.

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Potential partners I can understand. But why do your co-workers have to know? Christ, shut the fuck up about your sexual orientation no matter what it is.

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Fine! I'll write you up an entry for the website.

Asexuals: People who abstain from sex because they are either too ugly, too emotionally unstable, or too molested by their parents.

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What a catch!

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Ewww, bodily fluids!

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The fuck?

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MAYBE YOU SHOULD PUT FOOD ON THAT LIST YOU FAT FUCKING ASEXUAL SLOB.

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Hey go for it. It'll raise the average size for the rest of us.

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WOAH NELLY.

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Cate Perfect

Oh. Grand.

Cate

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Live R Perfect

Hey guys, there's this really fucking stupid website called 'something awful' where they surf the net just long enough to find something they don't have the faintest idea about and then they take screenshots of it and tag on facetious comments in order to ridicule it. :P :roll:

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How completely brilliant. I'm glad they're wasting their life on something so rewarding and personally fulfilling.

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Cate Perfect

:D

That sounds completely ignorant. I'm glad we have better things to do.

Of course now the morons who visit that site will probably come here to harangue us.

Cate

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So we can safely assume we'll be bombarded by a few dozen prepubescent brats then?

Hello children, you'll get to drive your mommy's SUV someday. Until then, please stick to your mall and your horrible radio rock and turn away, slowly away (don't want to get whiplash now!) from the Internet.

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fluffy_hime

I made two screenshots, WHOO!

It's kind of flattering someone spent so much time looking up and commenting on something they find so ridiculous. Some of those are really old threads.

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ApolloSeek

Unfortunately, the stuff on somethingawful.com is the same deconstruction

I've done to others who ridicule us. So now it's time to form the most

awesome force of deconstruction ever known to humanity-the

Deconstructicons!

The role call of these valiant warriors of truth is:

Optimus Parser-the leader with fighting spirit like no other

Satiricon-programmed for satire. His wit is more biting that Jonathan Swift's.

Analogotron-This bot's analogies and metaphors reduce the enemy to scrap.

Logictron-Logic circuits that cut through the thickest fog of rhetoric like a laser.

Let the enemies of AVEN tremble when they hear the cry,

Deconstructicons, transform!

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Does this make anyone else feel uncomfortable? It seems like a HEAVY vote for a closed forum. Brrr.. I feel so.. ugh!fnord

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Hey, if they host Cliff Yablonski, they can't be all bad. Plus Spokker did us the favor of linking to 'atacosexuality.org', which won't send people here. Troll around for forums and make comments -- how delightfully meta. ::barf::

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One nice thing was that he picked grabbed at least some posts that don't represent us as a community, as seen below, and the gripes he did have were meaningless (the fuck?; WHOA NELLY; et cetera).

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That's true. He mainly targeted posts by people who want to become "a," or otherwise posts having nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever.

Poor bigot. He just didn't learn the basic rules of human interaction in his remedial education classes. Unattractive, punk-ass, suburban thirteen-year-old boys of the world, fear not--we won't pass judgment on you all just because one of your number has gone rogue.

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VivreEstEsperer

wow.

I'm not sure WHAT to think of that.

Davidey, at least there's not a picture of you on that site.

Hmm.

I wonder why for some posts they included the username and avatar of the poster and for others they removed it?

Yeah it does freak me out a little Davidey but I guess that's the risk we take just being here. People can do whatever they want with us.

At least these guys actually spent time looking for posts, instead of the people who just run off at the mouth about us without ever having read the site.

It's awful, but...if they have nothing better to do than laugh at posts on our site, then I say let them. It's their loss.

Woah, there's a post by Legolas! Haven't seen him in a while.

I wonder if they're gonna come back and see what we said about them lol.

What's this where the guy says he moved a "nice young woman out from AVEN to live with him for six months"? I never heard anything about that.

Yeah pretty meaningless in the end but rather amusing to read and see which posts they picked.

Kate

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Yes, I remember questioning that individual (name of "dastraube") since he seemed skeevy to me. He didn't respond. I believe he's only posted twice, both in the form of a personals ad looking for a young female to come live with him.

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ApolloSeek

All in all, whoever did this on weeked Web'd didn't even do a good job of

deconstruction. All the responses to supposed AVEN posters lack intelligence and sound so hackneyed. This person is immature, stupid and boring.

I think we have nothing to fear from this. It is a pain. Besides, we survived

Naebliss and a hacker. We can handle this jerk.

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VivreEstEsperer

actually if you look at the site he does the same to many other sites so we're really not getting any special treatment. In fact it seems that he could find far less on AVEN to ridicule than on other sites (only 2 pages for us as opposed to 4-6 pages on other sites that he does). so in that context we should almost feel flattered.

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Cate Perfect

And he really had to dig to find posts. As others have said, he only posted from obscure members.

Apollo: :D I love the Deconstructicons!

Cate

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fluffy_hime

Davey, closed forums are possible?

He just didn't learn the basic rules of human interaction in his remedial education classes.

:lol:

Davidey, at least there's not a picture of you on that site.

Yeah. Just a thought, you might want to change your av just to kind of protect yourself if this visibility thing becomes more of an issue. Unless it doesn't bother you. :D

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I guess that's a good idea.. hmmph. I LIKE that picture. Why can't I look like a famous painting, like Cate or Julie? :(

I don't know what to change it TO.. maybe I can find something.

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Why can't I look like a famous painting, like Cate or Julie? :(

*tips her bowler derby* Don't feel badly. We're just not all so fortunate to be born with giant, hovering, spherical, green apples in front of our faces.

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ApolloSeek
And he really had to dig to find posts. As others have said, he only posted from obscure members.

Apollo: :D I love the Deconstructicons!

Cate

Thank you, Cate. I wonder-should I start writing Deconstructicon stories? I

can see some great satiric potential. I could be like the Darren The Super

Budgie series (something I did a long time ago).

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Naebliss AND a hacker? Yeeeahokay

the least they coulda' done was use Naebiss' posts so EVERYONE would know that (a) he's a fuckwad (B) not popular on this board either.

The only thing that horrified me was that peoples' pictures are on there. Can't you do something about that? Just make them take your photos off?

All in all, I always think it's very flattering that someone would go to great lengths to find a community they have nothing to do with, share it with a bunch of people they don't know just to show what kind of peckerhead they are. I can't say I'd waste much time seeking out...say an afghan crocheter's site or Hello Kitty site. Granted, I don't feel threatened by either of those. I really think that the base of the razzing AVEN gets is that people feel threatened, like we're going to even BOTHER recruiting people.

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Damn, I was beat to it...

I'd say SA went light on you, considering their Weekend Webs on furries,hentai fans, self-fellating guys, horny teenagers, and the like.

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