geekalious Posted January 27, 2003 Share Posted January 27, 2003 I'm worried to pieces, I want children badly in the future and have planned on adopting children from Africa for the longest time! (even in second grade I wanted to adopt!) And out of pure boredom I stumbled on to a site about adoption and looked at a quetionire thing-y and one of the questions was "Does your home provide a normal, constant and nuturing enviroment?" And I thought about my parents, my mother had another kid besides me, and my family, sex was not something to fear, it was discussed openly. Gina lost her virginty and the family talked about it...no biggy.... But could a child turn out normal in a single or marrie dcouple wihtout sex!? Without what is considered 'normal' love? Obviously the child would be loved just the same....but what about what it sees all around him/her....I'm fine with having a non-asexual child....but could they be fine with me? How would I be able to explain "Mommy and Daddy don't have sex, but we are fine with your choice to have sex with people".....Would they feel pressured to not have sex (then again, I can't think of any parent who WANTS their kids to have sex!)? I don't know....is it possible anyone has kids and can tell me how they turned out? -Caroline- Link to post Share on other sites
coralleane Posted January 27, 2003 Share Posted January 27, 2003 Sex was not something that was discussed openly in our house - my youngest sibling has just turned 13 and mild sex-related jokes are only just sneaking into family conversation. I turned out asexual; my sister turned out perfectly "normal" sexuality-wise. As far as I'm aware, she hasn't actually done it yet, but she's had more than one boyfriend, and I know she has no problems discussing it. She is also "only" 16, but we both went to a girls-only grammar school too, which limits social interactions a fair bit. Link to post Share on other sites
aury Posted January 27, 2003 Share Posted January 27, 2003 at the rate that my sisters keep popping our kids, i don't need kids of my own. i have plenty w/ them but, on the off chance that i do decide to adopt, it probably won't be for another 20 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted January 27, 2003 Share Posted January 27, 2003 Kids . . . I have been thinking of adoption as well, for when I'm financially stable. I've thought about the sex issue, and how to explain everything. I didn't find an answer o_O I think it's something they learn by themselves. Other things that made me worry is how to tell the kids I'm asexual, what to answer when they ask why they don't have two parents, how to react when they do have sex, . . . I don't want my kids to be ashamed of me. I know that asexuality isn't a thing to be ashamed of, but most people would look down on it like they do with homosexuality, especially when they are kids. I remember when I was in elementary, someone told me the principal was gay and left his wife yadda yadda, and I laughed and said "Oh my God!" and so on. Now I have no problems with gays (hell, one of my best friends is gay), but it just goes to show that kids will think anything besides "normal" is silly and gross until they grow up :( Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted January 27, 2003 Share Posted January 27, 2003 I dont think kids usually know if, or even think about, if their parents are having sex or not! It's just not something that crosses your radar screen...you dont wake up and think "Hmm, I wonder if my parents had sex last night?" They dont really need to know if you're having sex or not- it doesnt affect them. Really, I cant imagine myself or my brothers ever asking my parents anything about sex. Of course the kids will be just as well off whether or not you have sex life! Don't worry :) There are plenty of single parents out there.... they do fine.... and there are also plenty of gay parents and their kids do fine as well - you can read books by kids of gay parents that said having gay parents made them more tolerant and open minded and didnt really affect them that much. So all the more better for the differences between us :) Kate Link to post Share on other sites
Orpheus Posted January 27, 2003 Share Posted January 27, 2003 Childern are the tool of the devil. I know, I use to be one. U all gotta be like Luisa and myself, just get a friggin Chia-pet, they don't talk back. Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted January 27, 2003 Share Posted January 27, 2003 They will be more open minded, but they will also get picked on by other kids. *Nelson yells HA-HA! and points at the kid who's parents are not heterosexual" Link to post Share on other sites
nemesis Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 I'm with VivreEstEsperer on this. Kids don't want to think about their parents having sex. It's a topic they really don't care to know about. So long as the parent isn't anti-sex it shouldn't effect them negatively. Certainly there's no reason that your children's friends have to know anything. Either you're a single parent or have a partner but either way your sex life is none of their buisness. Link to post Share on other sites
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