scottimus prime Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I really want this dating-site-rally to be a thing, but it's getting NO signal boost because the admins don't want the underagers getting in on it. :/I'd like to make some kind of campaign for Asexuals on the sites too, but I am a party of one. We'd need a small army to accomplish such a deed. How to I get an army? (Plus... I'm not a very good leader...) Promises of cake? People are always easier to recruit if there's promise of free food. :) Link to post Share on other sites
truthseeker30 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Trouble with using #AVEN is that people use 'aven' as god-awful speak for 'having' (and the # is ignored by the search function, at least on OkCupid - I've just tried it). It also picks up words like haven't. If you want to be straight out about it then 'asexual' is fine, but from the discussions it sounds like not everyone is totally comfortable with that. I'm not sure where I stand on that one myself yet, but haven't put it on my profile yet at least. Link to post Share on other sites
Arctic_Revenge Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 I really want this dating-site-rally to be a thing, but it's getting NO signal boost because the admins don't want the underagers getting in on it. :/I'd like to make some kind of campaign for Asexuals on the sites too, but I am a party of one. We'd need a small army to accomplish such a deed. How to I get an army? (Plus... I'm not a very good leader...) Promises of cake? People are always easier to recruit if there's promise of free food. :) As much cake as as your monitor can handle! And hugs if they are wanted! Trouble with using #AVEN is that people use 'aven' as god-awful speak for 'having' (and the # is ignored by the search function, at least on OkCupid - I've just tried it). It also picks up words like haven't.If you want to be straight out about it then 'asexual' is fine, but from the discussions it sounds like not everyone is totally comfortable with that. I'm not sure where I stand on that one myself yet, but haven't put it on my profile yet at least. Hmmm... We could write something like: "LetThemEatCake", if that isn't too long for a search term. AVEN members will likely get the reference and outsiders will be very confused. Link to post Share on other sites
reverse_thrust Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I still think mentioning asexual somewhere in your OkCupid profile is the most effective method. There's no real harm other than scaring some people off, but your tone can go a long way towards being more approachable. If you don't mind dating sexuals, there's no reason to be all up in their face about asexuality, but if you are only looking for asexual relationships, isn't the goal to scare people off?Alternatively, just get creative with the sex questions. There are plenty specifically addressing asexuality, how often you want to have sex, how high of a sex drive you have, and so forth. Placing them at high importance will naturally bump ace and ace-friendly up in match percentage.Like I said, there are plenty of scumbags who don't read profiles and carpet-bomb ladies with inane copypasta (or worse) in the hopes a few will respond. Ignore and, if necessary, block. It's just part of the process with online dating. Link to post Share on other sites
intothewest Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 -_- I'm torn between whether I want to join a personals site again or not. I tried OKCupid, but I got sick of all the men just looking for hook-ups. I ended up with the "red dot" response rate pretty quickly, and that may have turned away a few more sincere people. Plus, it normally takes a long time for me to become interested in someone. It can take months of talking, bonding, etc., before I can look at a person and say, "Hey, I like you!" Whereas I'm assuming that most people expect fast results from dating sites. Link to post Share on other sites
reverse_thrust Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 Most women who are fairly attractive are red dots. Side note, the dot color has less to do with how often you reply to messages, and more with how recently you've been messaged. It's a gimmick in OkCupid's design to encourage sending messages to the less popular folks and spread the love, so to speak. Still doesn't change the fact that people may be passing you over. Only way around this is to avoid uploading a photo (or stop being pretty), also it's pretty much inevitable while living in urban areas.Most people may expect fast results, but we all just have our work cut out for us. We don't have the luxury of a large selection, depending on how lenient one is with sexuality, and most people aren't geographically close, so we can afford to be picky while we get to know new people. You just have to put up with the riffraff in the meantime. Link to post Share on other sites
no more account Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 This was an interesting post. I tried all of them I believe and ended up deleting my accounts because most of them don't have people who are local....and some of them required a fee. I think one of the sites is for the u.k. I live in the United States (North Carolina). Acebook was good (probably the best) and have become friends with 2 people on that site on facebook but. The only thing with Acebook is so SLOW. It's pretty annoying. I am thinking about deleting my profile. I'm not a big fan of these online dating sites anyways. I HATE signing up for things. I always get junk mail. I even deleted an email account last year because I signed up for a few online dating sites and then I was geting so much crappy mail. However (and this may be odd advice) I do think craigslist is pretty good lol. I don't understand the bad rap it gets. I have met some interesting people on that site. Like OkCupid as others have mentioned, you can type in "asexual" and see the results. Plentyoffish is good too; there is an option for "just hanging out" or "looking for friends" or something like that. I'm an expert when it comes to dating sites. So, I guess my top picks are: Craigslist, okcupid, and plentyoffish. And they are all FREE! Which is very important to me too lol; I don't have all the money in the world to go to these "top notch dating sites" like match and eharmony and what I have heard they are no better than these free ones. Link to post Share on other sites
Jetsetter75 Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 I agree with everyone's sentiments re dating sites. Similar to Jessicalsbord, I too, have signed up and tried a 'few' to say the least. I decided a few weeks ago to 'bite the bullet' and sign up and see what the dating sites have to offer! I signed up to Acebook, Asexualtic, Platonic Partners and OkCupid! Tried eharmony but removed account. Like others have expressed and found myself that some of the sites could do with a slight revamp! In particular, Platonic Partners, where you need to subscribe to send messages etc..but are unable to ascertain when members last logged in. Saw one guy's profile who was looking forward to Olympics in London 2012!!! I have the odd message from asexualtic and platonic but none on acebook. I have found OkCupid the most productive. What frustrates me, but it deters time-wasters( One assumes!) is the subscription factor that agencies require you to sign up to initiate contact with other members, for some agencies you are subscribing to nothing. OkCupid, I find the most informative. Good luck with everyone and your search. Link to post Share on other sites
BeBe52 Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Thank you for this information!! I am currently signed up with about 3-4 dating sites (free but always asking you to upgrade!) I've only been on one date and we went out to dinner. That was all. I met him at the restuarant. Thought I'd hear back from him but didn't. Well we were supposed to go see a movie the following week but then he got sick with a cold. Glad he didn't want to take it further in regards to asking me to come to his place or anything else. But sorry it didn't really work out. Will chekc out ace-book.net !!! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Silvercat Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 The only thing worse than dating online is trying to find people in real life. I'm on OKCupid, PlentyofFish, and a few others. I'm getting lots of LOLs out of it, but not many results. Link to post Share on other sites
Renly Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 I've been thinking about this for a while, and a lot of the websites catered towards asexuals are not very well made... I'm really into web design, so I might try to design a website with more of a Facebook feel to it. I'll link you guys when I'm done and you can tell me what you think! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Zerο Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Meh I think in the end the main issue stems from the small pool of people (namely because we're a small % of the population). Even Asexualitic and Ace-Book have mostly the same people. Link to post Share on other sites
cemeterywitch Posted May 10, 2013 Share Posted May 10, 2013 I've gotten nothing but harrassment from OKCupid and POF. I deleted both of my accounts. Too many crazy guys on there that find me. This "Meet Me" website seems interesting so far. I like Vampire Freaks too. Although both aren't officially dating websites. Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 Excuse me, ladies, but there's another side to this online personals thing. I can count on my fingers the number of times women have contacted me on CL, PoF, OKC, and all the rest. Maybe I'm just repellent to women, but after what I learned about the practices of online dating webmasters, I've adopted a philosophy that all the women on those sites are fake unless otherwise proven. The unwritten rule that "men must always do the pursuing" pretty much wrecks online dating for men anyway. As for the few real women who do online dating, I'm s. out of luck there too, because we all know the men on online sating sites are a bunch of sex-starved lechers. Link to post Share on other sites
Zerο Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 Men usually don't get messaged much since women are often flooded with messages from all age groups that vary from polite to obscene. Shrug, just be straight forward and use good grammar - this has worked relatively well for me. Link to post Share on other sites
cemeterywitch Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 I don't see how fake profiles compare to being sent vile lengthy messages from people you've never met. Link to post Share on other sites
BannedForSatire Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 Every site has trolls of some kind. I personally think that PlentyOfFish is one of the worst dating sites out there. Okcupid can be bad at times (especially if you go on the forums) but I've found several very good friends on Okcupid including my current partner. I rarely answer messages that I get but on the flip side I contact far more people than the average female does. In fact I contacted my current partner first and asked him to date me. Link to post Share on other sites
Zerο Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 Haha you get what you pay for and POF is free. Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted May 15, 2013 Share Posted May 15, 2013 IME CL is the worst. Not only could I write a book about the horrible women I've had the misfortune of meeting through CL, I am writing such a book. Link to post Share on other sites
intothewest Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 So I've decided to rejoin OKCupid. And having searched for people with "asexual" in their profile, I'm pleasantly surprised that: 1) a large number of people are showing up, and 2) a good percentage of them have VERY high match ratings for me. Sadly, most live hundreds of miles away, but I guess we can't have everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Spoon Train Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 I'm having fun with CL. Far from anything resembling proper "dating" really. Mostly just collecting email buddies and messing with their heads actually...hehe When you're thoroughly demisexual, childfree, and have a hardcore relationship anarchist approach - with basically no expectations whatsoever for a connection taking any form right from just making new online friends, through to cuddle buddies for the winter, through to being open to finding a potential primary life partner - yeah, you can imagine the freakshow. Especially considering how the one thing which a lot of people are there for (casual sex) is the one glaring thing that you're NOT offering. :lol: No expectations, no disappointments. Link to post Share on other sites
intothewest Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 ^Awesome attitude to have about it all. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Spoon Train Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 ^Awesome attitude to have about it all. I should add: I'm not deliberately messing with heads. That would be cruel. I'm just being 100% myself. Which by itself messes with (most) heads. :D Link to post Share on other sites
Frigid Pink Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 I love your avatar, Kitty Spoon Train, super cute! Link to post Share on other sites
debaser Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 Does Asexualitic make you use your real name? It says it's required, but if that's public, I won't join. Rather not use my real name on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Zerο Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 Not as far as I know. No site actually verifies an identity. Link to post Share on other sites
daisylove Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Ive joined Acebook. Looks interesting. There are people in my area but its pretty much a shot in the dark. Oh well :) whatever happens, happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Pulsewave Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I've just searched all those diff date sites and they are all rubbish. I give up. and why does everybody live in London or down south? what's wrong with living up north? cmon people!!! If I knew how to create a dating website from scratch I'd do it. It'd be free and you could fill in anything you wanted and customise it to make specific sections either public or private. You could message anyone for free. An up north dating site only. kidding. Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 I think I might join Acebook in the near future. I think I'm on Asexualitic but I have no idea how to delete my account. I think I deactivated it but I can't get in touch with anyone working there. Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 So many of us seem overly interested in this topic, it seems to me the sensible thing to do---and I'm addressing only those of us who really do want to meet someone---is to create a 2-tiered meetup system consisting of one group who want to meet in the hope of finding a compatible A partner, and another group for everything else. AVEN already has the latter. Because TBH, I think the online personals system has been abused so much (yes, even by asexuals too) that it's become unworkable. Link to post Share on other sites
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