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Sorry guys, I didn't know what forum area I should post this question (tried chat room but no one answered). I've been trying to send messages (In the past I could) to other members of asexualitic.com but for some reason I can't. In fact the send message icon is not clickable at all. It's been like this for the last 1-2 months (maybe longer, I hadn't logged on in a bit). In the past I was able to send messages easily. Is this happening to some of you also or is it just me? Thanks guys.

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Why would you be on that site anyway? It's severe erasure to people with non-binary genders. Try Acebook.

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I've actually tried Acebook. It seems dead. No one is active on that site. At least there seems to be activity on the asexualitic site.

I haven't had any issues sending messages or receiving them.

Hmm.. maybe I'll look at Acebook again.

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Well I went ahead and opened a new account and still can't send messages. I sent their admin a message about it, it's the second one and I doubt I'll get an answer.

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Just signed up for Asexualitic. Thems slim pickins for homoromantic males. Wish there were some really active sites.

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Just signed up for Asexualitic. Thems slim pickins for homoromantic males. Wish there were some really active sites.

Were you able to send messages? You probably didn't try due to the lack of choices for you but if you did let me know, thanks.

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After watching "Megan is Missing" and "Trust"...I almost lost the trust through online dating.

I spend lots of time to get used to movies containing sexual elements....so I did hug a big pillow when I was watching these two.

I doubt if the members of these websites are honest...no offends...I just feel the safety of Aces cannot be guaranteed since even sexual people cannot, either.

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Just signed up for Asexualitic. Thems slim pickins for homoromantic males. Wish there were some really active sites.

I think it just comes with the territory. We're a very small number of the population, only a fraction of which use online dating sites to begin with.

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Just now checked out Affectionate Friends. Lame. No one is on there, it's rather like a ghost town.

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reverse_thrust

I'd recommend people check out OkCupid again too. I haven't been very active in a couple years, but lately I've found 4 or 5 active asexuals within a 200 mile radius, and a dozen more who were ace-friendly, which is more than I can say for every other website mentioned in this thread... you have to put up with a lot of crap messages, especially as a woman, but judicious use of the hide/block button could make the experience tolerable...

Just thought I'd mention it. It's kind of surreal. The other websites don't have a large enough userbase to really make it worthwhile unless you're willing to do long-distance (which, personally, I'm not). Also keep in mind that you can search by keyword to find asexuals that way, albeit most of the ones I mentioned didn't openly identify as asexual until prompted by my profile.

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Mmm cake... Just checked out Platonic Partners too. Looks like it hasn't seen any good action in a while. No pun intended. XD

:cake:

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TrilliumHunter

Folks should give Ace-book another shot. I've met some really cool people there. (Yes, it's a bit slow...but there aren't many other ace-only alternatives). And I second Ok Cupid if only b/c they have the numbers (and it's a really well-done site). I imagine there are many aces on Okcupid...but most probably don't advertise it.

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scottimus prime

Within the past week, I've created accounts on Ace-book and Asexualitic. Both sites seem poorly designed and pretty dead in terms of activity. A couple of people have messaged me on Ace-book, which is cool, but overall it seems like there are very few active members (a lot of people in my region haven't logged in for months).

I've never used OKcupid but I wonder how successful it would be for aces. At this point, I am not sure that I would be comfortable dating a sexual simply because I wouldn't be able to provide that one big thing that they need. And I worry that if I was open about my asexuality on a site like that, I'd get either weird messages from people who don't understand asexuality or I'd just be ignored entirely.

Oh, then there's the whole other issue of people I know (co-workers, acquaintances, etc.) who may be on OKcupid stumbling across my profile, reading it, and going "WTF?" People don't know about my orientation and I'd rather they not find out accidentally via an online dating site.

Any aces here actually have good experiences with OKcupid?

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I made an account on Asexualitic and yeah, the website feels like it's held together by virtual duct tape. I mainly use (use being an overstatement) Okcupid and I agree it's pretty well designed. The "Questions" section is pretty good for scoping out if sex (amongst other things) will be an issue or not. That said, I've only met a handful of asexuals on there and none nearby - which is about what I expected.

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scottimus prime
I made an account on Asexualitic and yeah, the website feels like it's held together by virtual duct tape. I mainly use (use being an overstatement) Okcupid and I agree it's pretty well designed. The "Questions" section is pretty good for scoping out if sex (amongst other things) will be an issue or not. That said, I've only met a handful of asexuals on there and none nearby - which is about what I expected.

I created an account on OKcupid yesterday and I've already run into a few conundrums. First, you have to choose your sexual orientation and only straight, gay and bi are the options provided. I consider myself biromantic so I chose bisexual (even though it's not the same thing - at all!). I'm getting a ton of matches who are gay men, and even a couple who have messaged me. I have alluded to the fact that I am not interested in sex in my profile and explain that I'm really looking for a deep, emotional connection with another person. However, I have avoided writing the word "asexual" because I fear that I'd be ignored entirely.

How have you managed to find other aces on the site?!

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You can add a username/interest as part of your filter (the box is near the top right of the searching field). Just type in asexual, just keep in mind there could be non-sexual related results.

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scottimus prime
You can add a username/interest as part of your filter (the box is near the top right of the searching field). Just type in asexual, just keep in mind there could be non-sexual related results.

Awesome! Thank you!

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  • 2 weeks later...
Arctic_Revenge

Hello guys. Some of you have seen my post in the Meet Up forum (which the mods don't really want advertised) and I was just wondering which personal sites you guys prefer? Is there one that is more user friendly or Ace friendly than others? I know most are dead, but if you check my post, I may have a plan to fix that.

Thanks.

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scottimus prime
Hello guys. Some of you have seen my post in the Meet Up forum (which the mods don't really want advertised) and I was just wondering which personal sites you guys prefer? Is there one that is more user friendly or Ace friendly than others? I know most are dead, but if you check my post, I may have a plan to fix that.

Thanks.

Ace-book could be good, but it just isn't (perhaps it used to be more active in the past? I don't know). I've used both Match and OKCupid. They're both very user-friendly but neither one is terribly ace friendly. It would be really nice if asexual was an orientation that members could select.

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truthseeker30

For 'mainstream' sites like Match & OKCupid, I was wondering about having a code that we will understand but isn't too obvious to 'muggles'?

We could all put a slightly made-up word (to help with searching) - something like 'cakeloving' might be suitable?

Thoughts, anyone?

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Arctic_Revenge
For 'mainstream' sites like Match & OKCupid, I was wondering about having a code that we will understand but isn't too obvious to 'muggles'?

We could all put a slightly made-up word (to help with searching) - something like 'cakeloving' might be suitable?

Thoughts, anyone?

Someone clever in the other thread suggested we use #AVEN in our profiles so if we search AVEN we'll find each other :)

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SorryNotSorry

Well, my take on the situation is that various Meetup groups probably won't kill online dating sites, but it's definitely turning them into basket cases. People who join OLDSs tend to either lose interest if they don't find someone right away who they think they might like (and the sites won't let them delete or deactivate their profiles), or else they're just kidding around and want to see how many views they get.

I think if someone doesn't want to do the Meetup thing, but is still serious about wanting to meet someone, my solution is a hybrid site where new applicants have to attend at least one members' meeting before they can be confirmed as new members of the online part. But OTOH one big problem with that is it will likely end up with either not enough men or not enough women, and remember, we're talking localized subgroups here.

The bottom line is, until more of us brave the negativity hurled at us---like it or not, there's still a lot of stigma attached to asexuality---and come out, we're going to be trying to get by in someone else's world that we never made.

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fitterhappier

In a fit of insanity/desperation last weekend I created an incredibly honest OkCupid profile and I don't think I'm going to be very popular. A few nights later I even had an anxiety dream that some jerk messaged me to say, "Well you're never going to get laid with THAT attitude," and I screamed, "BUT THAT'S NOT MY GOAL!" at my computer so loudly that I woke myself up. Also there are more than a few guys whose profile photos feature them posing shirtless in the mirror with their heads cut off. I'll pass, thanks.

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Notte stellata
In a fit of insanity/desperation last weekend I created an incredibly honest OkCupid profile and I don't think I'm going to be very popular. A few nights later I even had an anxiety dream that some jerk messaged me to say, "Well you're never going to get laid with THAT attitude," and I screamed, "BUT THAT'S NOT MY GOAL!" at my computer so loudly that I woke myself up. Also there are more than a few guys whose profile photos feature them posing shirtless in the mirror with their heads cut off. I'll pass, thanks.

Oh yeah, those shirtless mirror shots...Quickest way to turn me off, lol.

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Kitty Spoon Train
Oh yeah, those shirtless mirror shots...Quickest way to turn me off, lol.

Heh, sounds like the male equivalent of the good old "MySpace Pose" mirror selfies that lots of girls do. You know the one: duckface, head tilted to the side, bending over and showing cleavage.

Instant turn-off.

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scottimus prime
For 'mainstream' sites like Match & OKCupid, I was wondering about having a code that we will understand but isn't too obvious to 'muggles'?

We could all put a slightly made-up word (to help with searching) - something like 'cakeloving' might be suitable?

Thoughts, anyone?

Someone clever in the other thread suggested we use #AVEN in our profiles so if we search AVEN we'll find each other :)

I'd be okay with either of these options so long as the aces of the world were all aware and doing this to their online profiles. I also wonder what would happen if AVEN or someone approached these online dating sites (maybe OKCupid, for instance) and asked them about helping to spread asexual awareness and add "asexual" as an orientation that members could select from.

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Arctic_Revenge
For 'mainstream' sites like Match & OKCupid, I was wondering about having a code that we will understand but isn't too obvious to 'muggles'?

We could all put a slightly made-up word (to help with searching) - something like 'cakeloving' might be suitable?

Thoughts, anyone?

Someone clever in the other thread suggested we use #AVEN in our profiles so if we search AVEN we'll find each other :)

I'd be okay with either of these options so long as the aces of the world were all aware and doing this to their online profiles. I also wonder what would happen if AVEN or someone approached these online dating sites (maybe OKCupid, for instance) and asked them about helping to spread asexual awareness and add "asexual" as an orientation that members could select from.

I really want this dating-site-rally to be a thing, but it's getting NO signal boost because the admins don't want the underagers getting in on it. :/

I'd like to make some kind of campaign for Asexuals on the sites too, but I am a party of one. We'd need a small army to accomplish such a deed. How to I get an army? (Plus... I'm not a very good leader...)

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