Samarkand Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 I never thought I'd get so riled up over something said on a forum (pertaining to religion). But rationally speaking, it can't be helped that not many people know about asexuality. A lot of people still think that there's something ridiculously wrong with us. Maybe I shouldn't have said I find sex repulsive though, that tends to get some sexuals' knickers in a twist I guess. How dare we have no interest in sex! After being 'bingoed' (I borrow the CF lingo) 3 times with medical reports within a space of an hour and even an article linking feminism with being frigid, I think I've had enough. I'm not going to bother explaining anymore. Not just that, it seems like lately everyone around me is insisting that I'm wrong for being asexual. Yeah because I am just a label born out of an Internet meme right? Well to hell with that. I'm not going to be able to change people's minds so I won't bother explaining to people set on that. But I am going to be very open about it from now on. No more, "Oh I'm just too busy with studying to bother about boyfriends" or "Haven't found the right one yet" when people ask. I say that far too often to pacify people who are uneasy around 'alternative' sexualities (I'm open otherwise). I'm Asexual, I don't want sex, I don't need sex and I don't ever want to have sex and guess what? Nothing is wrong with me. Link to post Share on other sites
sidereal_stratocaster Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 I find that for people who don't understand asexuality, a quick "Oh, I'm celibate" tends to shut them up. There's also this huge double standard if you're young. It's okay not to be having sex, but once you get past age 18-20, "Why aren't you having sex? Is something wrong with you?? Maybe you're gay!" I can still remember going to the doctor a few years back and being asked, "Are you sexually active." Upon my no, they asked "At your age? You're not?" I was a little miffed but explained that I had no partner. I think they took it to mean that I wasn't having sex because I had no one to have sex with, but when I did... It's got nothing to do with 'being frigid' (I hate that phrase) I'm pro-sex. For everyone around me. Just keep it away from me. Link to post Share on other sites
jr1 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 we need to wear asexuality t shirts and put aven on our blogrolls. Many hands make light work Link to post Share on other sites
JustJudy Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 It's no different at 51 least not for me. I have fully explained to my father how I feel about sex and relationships and he still tells me all the time "I hope you meet a good man and fall in love ...blah blah blah", or from friends I hear "oh you'll meet the right man and ....." they just don't get it so my response is usually just a simple "whatever". I don't get people's need for a relationship and certainly not their need/desire for sex so why should I expect them to understand my aversion to close relationships and sex? Just be comfortable with your own self and say the h*ll with what anyone else thinks. Link to post Share on other sites
Shrine Maiden Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 After being 'bingoed' (I borrow the CF lingo) 3 times with medical reports within a space of an hour and even an article linking feminism with being frigid, I think I've had enough. Let me guess, half-baked psychology quotes ripped off from Wiki and an article from Playboy telling men feminism is a greater threat to mankind than nuclear weapons? Amazing how concerned other people are with us unfortunate asexuals, they just itch to fix our "problem"... Making fun of these preachers and the situation is the only solution. Alas, sexual always were and always will be a majority. Link to post Share on other sites
Samarkand Posted July 3, 2008 Author Share Posted July 3, 2008 Let me guess, half-baked psychology quotes ripped off from Wiki and an article from Playboy telling men feminism is a greater threat to mankind than nuclear weapons? Amazing how concerned other people are with us unfortunate asexuals, they just itch to fix our "problem"... Making fun of these preachers and the situation is the only solution. Alas, sexual always were and always will be a majority. Ever since I made this topic, I had a few more bingoes, two of them from medical doctors with one of them being an aggressive asshole who insisted I had to do various tests before concluding that I am asexual because it makes me feel 'special'. Things got out of hand and the thread was locked but not before he decided to play the 'good religious man' card. Ask a question about religion and you get a ton of hostility just because you don't want sex. Hypocrites. Link to post Share on other sites
Throne Eins Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 As soon as people find out I have a lot of health problems and am on an assload of medication, they jump to attribute my asexuality to that. Well, then how do they explain the other 19 years of my life that I never experienced sexual attraction? Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 And if you're really old (over 55), they assume your non-interest in sex or presumably sexual relationships is due to menopause. Of course, the cultural perception of menopausal women is being completely crazy and not at all appropriate to be out in society, so you should just go away or at least be very quiet. Amazing that not much more than a year ago, I had a male "partner" and wasn't subject to those stereotypes, even though the relationship was unsatisfying and known to be so. Now we're over, and although I'm exactly the same person, I'm stereotyped. Link to post Share on other sites
SpirallingSnowy Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 People assume the prozac i take is why im asexual... ive only been on it for a few years and the last 10 months not on it at all.......... And my friends think im strange. Link to post Share on other sites
EGAD! Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Looking at a significant number of articles dealing with sexual dysfunction. Various things like sexual abuse, rape and unrealistic expectations can kill a person's interest in sex; however over time people who have been sexually abused or raped do show improvement over time (participating in sex and wanting sex). And it at least occurs to me that people who can trace their disinterest in sex to one or more of the three mentioned do have a sex drive, but choose to avoid sex because of causing psychological stress. A few studies done dealing with sexuality as it pertains to people with Autistic spectrum disorders show that a large majority have interest in sexual relationships. At this time I do not think hormones are an adequate explanation. I have heard it mentioned that having a thyroid that is out of whack (over active or under active) could be a possible cause; however lack of sex drive is only one of many symptoms that could accompany this. While it is not impossible for someone to have a thyroid problem and only experience a lack of sex drive I have to suspect this is rare. Additionally this fails to be an adequate explanation for people who have never had an interest in sex. The thyroid is a key player in regulating our metabolism. If someone has a thyroid that is working over time (hyper) someone is likely going to be losing weight while someone who has a lethargic thyroid (hypo) is likely going to have problems retaining weight. Also given how common problems with depression and anxiety seem to be within Western culture these also fail to explain the presence of asexuality. Some medications as I have read in articles and as I have heard voiced on several threads may explain a disinterest in sex; however if someone had a sex drive prior to taking the pills--they take the pills and do not have a sex drive and then when they are off the meds have a sex drive again--to me this is not true asexuality. And in many studies there exist methodological issues with inadequate sampling size among other things. Yeah it is just really sucky having people shove their opinion down your throat and you do not have anything nearly as substantial to fling back at them and when you do they can hardly be bothered to take you serious. Link to post Share on other sites
In_Omnia_Paratus Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I like the t-shirt Idea. like. sex? NO THANKYOU lol my friend is BI and she has a shirt of a winking pendulum that says "I swing both ways" yeah I hate the term frigid. I'm so happy that out of the lovely 3 people I've told. none of them think I'm spycho. but thats really the double standard right? its great to be sixteen :P although I think one of them thinks its a spych thing I'll grow out of. but she doesnt say it. Link to post Share on other sites
In_Omnia_Paratus Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 OMG! I have a low thyroid!!! lol but so does EVERY WOMAN IN MY FAMILY. whos asexual? (only I raise my hand) lol Link to post Share on other sites
SlightlyMetaphysical Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I like the t-shirt Idea.like. sex? NO THANKYOU lol my friend is BI and she has a shirt of a winking pendulum that says "I swing both ways" yeah I hate the term frigid. I'm so happy that out of the lovely 3 people I've told. none of them think I'm spycho. but thats really the double standard right? its great to be sixteen :P although I think one of them thinks its a spych thing I'll grow out of. but she doesnt say it. Interesting. I was thinking of making "Sorry, I don't swing" my asexy motto. At 16, everyone's got an alternate sexuality. Having said that, I'm 17, and most of my friends developed theirs this year. But we are generally off-trend. Link to post Share on other sites
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