Myths and Misconceptions

[XTriformisX]

If I hear the "you just need to meet the right person" speech one more time I will murder someone so hard they will die from it.

/clears throat

"You just need to meet the right person"

/runs!

I LOL'd. :lol:

I WILL KILL YOU

[mindlife]

This is an excellent survey. I hope everyone who comes here gets a chance to respond.

When I was a teenager, most of my peers simply could not imagine me having sex.

The only people who wanted anything to do with me sexually were the curious, never the romantically interested.

I don't know if I'm ugly or not, but I suspect that this is the reason people thought of me as asexual before the name had been coined.

I suspect it. I don't know it because I don't see my face or body as any sighted person has seen me.

[Guest]

I didn't quite know how to answer the last question.... I'm not even sure if I've been asked if I can make my own babies....

You forgot to ask about bestiality....I've seen a few responses mention something like "what are you into then? Animals?"

I just can't imagine why some people can't tolerate let alone comprehend asexuality....other than pure bigotry....

[Lekzýs]

I can't vote as I haven't been told anything in the first part of the poll (I've only really 'come out' to two people), so I'll answer here - I have been told that, because I'm asexual, I'll end up alone.

[emmarainbow]

I didn't quite know how to answer the last question.... I'm not even sure if I've been asked if I can make my own babies....

You forgot to ask about bestiality....I've seen a few responses mention something like "what are you into then? Animals?"

I just can't imagine why some people can't tolerate let alone comprehend asexuality....other than pure bigotry....

The babies one amuses me. To be fair, I haven't heard that from people over the age of 16, so I suppose that's *some* relief.

Damn! I put inanimate object. I can't remember if I've had animals, though I'd assume so, it doesn't surprise me at all.

As to why people are scared... it is initmidating to find people who don't behave the way you do, especially if you can't see them coming. Society says that you must be sexual and having good sex to be happy, so people who are able to challenge that can be a bit threatening. *shrugs* I stand by the fact that most people are idiots until they are forced to think about somethign properly. Since they've never had to think about asexuality before, they'll say something dumb before late being ok with it.

*fingers crossed*

[Kikyou]

Recently a friend of mine (who is bi) asked me--clarifying beforehand that she did not mean to offend, and she actually was the one who brought up asexuality in the conversation--if it might be that I just suppressed my dirty thoughts and so now I continue to do that. I said no and she seemed to accept that easily. I don't think I marked that anywhere in the poll... but I marked some other responses I've gotten, mostly from relatives or male friends who like to mess with me. I've told anyone who asked me ever since I was little that I wasn't interested in anyone, and my grandparents have told me I'm just too caught up with studying to pay attention and that I'd be interested later on (I marked "late bloomer" for that). One circle of friends, in which I'm the only girl, consists of guys who like to tease me that I'm lesbian, but I don't really take offense (I marked the "closeted gay" one for that). One of them used to say it was impossible to be asexual until he read the Wikipedia article on it (I marked the "impossible" one for that). A long time ago my friend told some guys I just met that I wasn't interested because I didn't like people that way, and they said, "Oh, that sucks," so I marked the "pitiable/broken" option for that. There were a couple others I marked too, but most of them seem to come from relatives or male friends who like to mess with me... both of which have opinions I don't really care about. My female friends tend to be very accepting and some of them actually give me responses along the lines of, "Oh, that's so cool!! You're lucky!"

[DarthBismarck]

Wow, and the closest thing I received to a positive response (most of my friends already knew - I just hadn't received the memo) was, "Wow, a statistical anomaly!"

...Yes, she was genuinely excited about it.

[himynameis!]

"one day you'll understand what it is to really love and be physically close with someone"

i know they were just trying to be comforting, but i found it a bit more patronising really...

[emmarainbow]

A bit?

I hate the way we're seen as immature...

[himynameis!]

A bit?

I hate the way we're seen as immature...

yeah, that really bugs me, but i explained it properly and the person understands now, which i guess is a step forward! but still, can't people just accept the term "asexual"?!

[Wings of a Dream]

Wow, I ticked so many. I hadn't realised just how many wrong statements I had heard until I started ticking boxes O.o

[DarthBismarck]

[Guest]

Is it just me or does anyone else feel even more angry at bigots after looking at the results of the poll?

[emmarainbow]

I feel more determined. Also, if I have an internet connection around, I can drag them to this thread and say 'look, you're not original'.

It's a good start for some good statistics on what ase peoples have when they're out. I get asked what the deal is; I coudl say 'well, 90% of ase people get told we're going to turn sexual some day' or 'three quarters of ase people are pressured to try sex they don't feel comfortable with to 'prove' their sexuality to others, and more than a third of them get told that if they've had sex they aren't asexual!'

Them's *useful* statistics, they is...

[Lord Happy Toast]

I don't think these are reliable at all. Other than the fact that asexuals who have been told these things are probably more likely to answer the survey, there is a bug in the system. I've never been told any other the things in either box. However, if I don't click at least one, it won't let me vote. I had to lie to submit my vote (the "asexuals are genderless" and the second "asexuals are just frigid" need to be reduced by one.) It's quite possible that other people who voted on this and have never been told any of these things will get the error message and their voices won't be counted.

[emmarainbow]

Ah, fair enough.

Maybe I could make a new survey based on the results and criticisms of this one, and it might be a bit better? :)

[Jake Hoshgothen]

I'll take care of that. I've also got a way to get accurate percentages out of the thing. I'll go make it. For those who wish to vote in it, you may find it under 'Myths and Misconceptions v 2.0'

[Emma81]

Personally I really like that poll, I like things like that. It seems that most people experience comments such as "you haven't met the right one yet or you're a late bloomer" i.e. things that border on pity, condescension etc and not really malice. Oh and sometimes people think that you need counselling etc which is all in the same sphere.

Personally I haven't really told all that may people but have openly told about 3 and hinted at it to a couple of others I guess. I was the 100th person to vote and by now it is possible to see some patterns emerging.

In regard to the whole condescension and you're a late bloomer thing I think that this gradually gets better with age. If you're still a virgin at 27, people start to think that maybe you are actually asexual. Although I recognise that some asexuals have engaged/do engage in sex to please a partner or for other reasons. I, however don't even like kissing, so that ain't gonna happen!

[squiggle]

'Haven't met the right person yet' and 'Must try sex to know' are the most common misconceptions. I think that says something about the culture. They both reveal how much pressure there is in our culture to have sex, -perhaps explaining how to a certain degree predatory sexualities have been normalised by the society.