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Thinking about sex a lot lately......


Hats

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Yep, that's right. I have. What I am still unable to grasp is WHY anyone actually has the need to do this? Look, I am not an Asexual Fundie or anything and honestly, each to their own but the very concept of sex I find extremely difficult to grasp. Partly, I suppose because I don't have THOSE feelings.

We live in a society where everyone is seemingly doing this thing all the time. People are judged not only on the frequency of it but who they do it with. It seems if a man is doing it all the time, then he is virile and a stud yet a woman is seen to be a slut and a tramp. Gay men are NEVER seen as being virile though they may actually be doing it all the time as well and Lesbians...where do they come into all of this?

Then there are people who actually believe that Sex is Love. What's that all about? Then there are those who say that Sex brings people together in a way that not having sex can't. Well, I have many valuable relationships that are NOT sexual, does this mean they aren't "real" relationships then?

Then, there is the ACT itself which I have to say I find very icky indeed. I can understand and appreciate that certain women are seen as beautiful. I can also see that certain men also have "it" but what I am unable to see is why anyone would want to do this thing! It makes absolutely no sense to me, aside from having children of course. The thought of me penetrating another human being and then sliding back and forth makes me feel SICK. YUK!!!!!!!

There are even more people that believe that having sex defines you as a person and not to have sex means you are ABNORMAL. Sometimes I wonder, perhaps we are the NORMAL ones after all........

Okay, rant over and I am going to make a hot chocolate. Anyone want me to bring one back? :)

Yours,

Hats.

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Oddly enough I am drinking Hot chocholate right now.

Perosnoly the thought of the very act of sex grosses me out. I mean why the hell would you want a jack up part of ur body into somone else's? Ewwww. It's like if I cut a hugh gash in my arm, would you want to stick your finger in it?

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I feel the same way. It seems sex is a lot like religion: there are different sexualities, all trying to convert each other, and everyone beleives their sexuality is the right one. In a way, everyone is right.

I just go by the live and let live mentality. I am sickened by sexuality too, but if it makes people happy, I won't tell them to stop (you know, as long as they aren't fucking in front of me).

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Thank you for the images, I was just about to go to bed. *grumble*

Seriously though I have no real clue, a few people have tried explaining it to me, but they have apparently failed. Something about a connection or something *shrug* dunno, don't want to know.

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VivreEstEsperer

lol every time someone describes a sexual act it reminds me why im an asexual... gives me proof...lol...gross!

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People can stand around naked all day in front of me posing while I draw and I can find something beautiful or interesting in the form. Same people, still naked, but having sex... I wouldn't even want to see a blurry photograph.

Anyway, I can think "sex" and have an idea of what that is and not be grossed out by it, but then if I try to give that vague concept any kind of detail... eeeeew.

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I am so glad that some people are posting things like "icky" in the same sentence as the word "sex acts."

My mother knows that there is "something wrong with me" because I feel revulsion at the thought of sex.

It seems so banal, and so base. It seems like a way to spend time that any animal can do...and that we, as humans, are capable of far more! (Well, I don't know, animals seem pretty capable, too, but I can think of many things that are more creative, more worthwhile, and more fun than sex.)

It's nice to get the reassurance of reading that other people are grossed-out by the physical activities involved in sex, and that it's not just me. If I've got "something wrong with me," then we all do, so it's not very likely!

--------------------------

BTW - I can admire the human form, in Art, such as Michelangelo's "The David," endlessly. I also love the way people look in dance. But it certainly doesn't give me ~those~ kinds of feelings!

Thanks for the support of how I feel, you guys! :)

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LUISA!!!!!!!!!! Don't say there's somthing wrong with you, there is nothing wrong with you or anyone else here. Well...possibly me, but that's different :D

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Thanks for the support, Orpheus. [Asexually hugs him.] Technically, it's my mother who says it, but I'm starting to believe it. I'm glad that I read this thread, because it shows me that many other people here feel EXACTLY the way I do, and not another variation on the "reason," or whatever. It's difficult to explain, but I'm sure we all know the comfort of being here, and having each other's support.

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Oh yes, I think we can all beenifit from having eachother around. I always new that I was asexual, but I never said anything because I thought I was the only one. Now that I know there are others out there, I'm very open. Up until I found this site, there was noly one other person that new, and that's because she just happened to figure it out.

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I find the whole idea of sex incomprehensible. Why do people want to do it? Why do they spend (waste?) so much time thinking/talking about it, trying to get it, trying to steer the conversation round to it? Don't they have anything more important to occupy themselves with?

And why do they assume that everyone on the planet thinks the same way?

I know that sex is still the most effective way to get pregnant (and to catch Chlamydia etc!!), but other than that I really don't see the point of it.

bodily fluids? no thanks

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Guest Thralex

All right, this sounds a little silly. I'm no more sexual than the next person, but I think we all know that to most people sex is extremely enjoyable. So we don't feel that way--fine! But let's not the whole "other people's behaviour sucks, I don't understand them" route of asserting our identity.

As for the real/unreal relationships thing, I find people saying that sex brings two people together in a special way not offensive at all! People say that about the military, too, and I believe that also. Different types of relationships ALL evoke certain unique bonds, and it would be illogical to deny that there are aspects of sexual people's personalities which don't surface until sex itself. Keep in mind that most people heavily repress sexuality (doesn't seem that way, sometimes, eh! but it's such a major drive if you've got it), so to actually go ahead and have intercourse must be so emotional in normal circumstances.

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All right, this sounds a little silly. I'm no more sexual than the next person, but I think we all know that to most people sex is extremely enjoyable. So we don't feel that way--fine! But let's not the whole "other people's behaviour sucks, I don't understand them" route of asserting our identity.

I don't think that most people here are questioning that sexual people find sex enjoyable, as much as *how* anyone can find it enjoyable...

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(Just registered.)

That too seems unfruitful. Are we actually desirous of knowing? I guess this seems to me to be just an excuse to say, "Yup, we sure don't want to have sex."

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I'm not going to lie, I have no idea what sex is like. And you know what, I don't care. So what if it's wonderful adne njoyable and maybe if I tried it I'd love it. Point is, I'm not going to try it simply because I don't want too.

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Orpheus:

I have said the same thing, and gotten a response like:

"But if you know that it's enjoyable, and that you could be getting pleasure out of it, then why don't you want to try to 'cure' your asexuality?"

[Rolls eyes, slaps head with hand.]

I think that whomever asked about why all people are expected to think and feel the same way about everything is on the right track.

However, I must admit to feeling some curiosity regarding why I, personally, do not feel the same way that the majority feels, on this subject. (This was discussed, a little, on the thread "Why are we asexual," and so I have a somewhat better understanding of it now.)

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I guess this seems to me to be just an excuse to say, "Yup, we sure don't want to have sex."

Considering this is an asexuality board, and most of us don't exactly have the chance to go round shouting from the rooftops, "I sure don't want to have sex!!" - at least, not without getting people going "WHY?!?!?!?!?!" - then I'm not sure I see what your problem is, exactly.

~Coral

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I have GOT to buy a megaphone and a ladder, so that I can go up on my roof and shout, "I SURE DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX!" Hee hee hee! ;)

Remember the scene in the movie "Network," where everyone leans out the window and says, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore..."?

Maybe we can have a rallying cry from the rooftops! "We're asexual as hell, and we're not going to take it - ever!"

:D :D :D

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Hmmm...true. We had probably better enter into negotiations before declaring that we're not going to "take" something! :)

It's a lot easier to decide what I WOULD take: money, chocolate, CDs, good health, a vacation...THAT list goes on and on.

Someone, I forgot who, said something like:

"I can live very well without the necessities, as long as I have all of the extravagences!"

(They worded it better.)

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Ha ha...I think that's a slightly different expression, though true to the spirit!

I'm mad as hell, and I'm gonna take it ALL anymore! :D

Well, actually, I'm not all that mad...

I'm fairly OK, and I'm going to take it ALL anymore! :D

Somewhere along the way, this loses its "punch."

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Well, maybe it was the bumper sticker guy, but i applied it first :wink:

Luisa, I hope you're not mad at me :shock: I mean, you're only okay so I'd hate for that little part of you that's keeping you from being great be because of me :cry: that would be horrible.

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