Brother Wilbur Posted April 26, 2004 Share Posted April 26, 2004 Thats what I did today. I'm an idiot, and I feel like crap. There was some crazy thing at school where we talk about things and see I'm rather impulsive and once I have an idea, I almost have to do it. So the topic came up: gay marriages. Should they be allowed? And there were these people going up to say they thought homosexuality was wrong, sinful, etc, and that marriage is supposed to be special, between a male and female, etc. I suddenly realized that what people were REALLY thinking about was... sex! So once I had this idea in my head of saying it... I kinda had to... I really can't explain it. So I went up, shaking and all and so nervous and ahhh I am going to throw up. Basically, I explained what an asexual is and I got these disgusted looks and I almost started crying so i basically stood there unable to speak while all these people were staring at me like I was just pathetic, disgusting, an object worthy of loathing. I managed to finish, just said my concept of "love" was more of a very deep friendship and friendships are generally thought of as being between members of either opposite or same genders, so I think gay marriages should be legal. Having managed to speak without crying or anything, I finally was able to leave that horrible little room with people making disbelieving noises and getting looks from strangers, and 'religious friends'. I went out into the hall and just started crying and this girl, Elizabeth, a senior, came out and just hugged me and said nice things, I can't really remember what exactly she said, I just felt really really bad, the dean, Ludy, came out, too, and told me that if I didn't cry, I would pee, so I might as well cry. They got me calm again and let me walk in by myself- its such a small thing, but it was so big, and I think it is amazing that they picked up on that. And I was really grateful. But guys... people gave me these looks all day, I made myself sick. Like, stomach ache and headache type stuff. Some people who know me kinda well said nice things like they appreciated me going up there because they had no idea about asexuality- didn't know what it was and all. This one kid, whose parents are pretty good friends with my parents, passed me in the hall and gave me this lasting look of pure hatred that I just started that hysterical laughing, you know? I always laugh when people give me those looks in hallways. Not when I am standing in front of the student body, but in hallways, I laugh. I feel like crud. But I don't think I'd take it back if I could. I just feel like there is no reason to hide. Still, I have never felt so weird and hated in my life. I mean, thier faces... Link to post Share on other sites
Live R Perfect Posted April 26, 2004 Share Posted April 26, 2004 Wow, that was a really brave thing to do infront of all your peers, Brother Wilbur! The reaction that some of them had sucked, obviously, but it does seem that there were some there with a more open-minded approach. Well done! I award you a visibility badge for your trouble! :D *Pins badge onto Brother Wilbur and starts a round of applause* Link to post Share on other sites
merlinda Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Wow. I think that was very courageous of you to do. I don't know if I'd have been able to do that. *keeping the applause going* Link to post Share on other sites
dabishop Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 *applauding wildly from the gallery* Holy shitzkis, that's about the bravest thing anyone can do in that place and/or time. It's certainly more than I could ever have contemplated doing; I went to the kind of school where guys like me had 'accidents' if they dared to take something like shop or auto repair. Looks and faces be damned - by getting out of there with your identity and self-respect intact, you've gained a whole helluva lot more (and longer-lasting things) than anything that might even occur to those complacent quarter-wits. Bravissima! Link to post Share on other sites
Silly Green Monkey Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 ••applauds and cheers•• The groups I'm out to are mixed enough that I only get puzzled looks and questions. I think I would hit someone who dared hate me because of sexuality... let them hate me because I hit them. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 That was amazing, Laura. You're a brave person, and just reading that, I feel an incredible amount of respect and admiration for you. You've done a courageous thing. To hell with your peers, and good luck with the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Borrible Cal Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 That was an incredibly brave thing to do, Laura--congratulations on your courage, for having the impulse and for acting on it. ~hugs and applauds~ I admire and respect you more than I can say. You've not only made a difference for asexuals but for everyone in your school and your community whose definitions of love and sexuality don't fit the narrowest of hetersexist norms. I am so glad that there were people who recognised your courage and your distress and gave you the support that you needed--and that there were people who chose not to dismiss what you said, but listened and have expanded their horizons because of your bravery. Coming out in any way is difficult, and coming out as publicly and to such a mixed audience as you did immeasurably more so. I'm just sorry that so many people couldn't hear what you were saying to them--who reacted to an act of courage and honour so cruelly. Just remember--the people who look at you strangely, or who cut themselves off from you, or who tease you as a result of your statement--they are the ones who have failed in courage. They are the ones whose definitions of love are limited, who are cutting themselves off from possibilities. And they are the ones whose lives will be the poorer for it. It might not help with feeling ostracised or being teased--but don't you dare let them make you feel bad about yourself because of what you did. You deserve a medal. Can we strike a Brother Wilbur Award for Courage, please? Borrible Cal. Link to post Share on other sites
Rabger Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 I agree, that was really brave to do in front of a bunch of people and everything. But let me see if I understood correctly, they were giving you disgusted and hateful looks because you discussed asexuality? I don't get people, so many of them are so stupid. I don't understand why people are so against homosexuals, and I sure as hell don't get the anti-asexual thing either. People hate you because you don't want sex? What the hell? I don't hate them because they do want sex, unless they're being perverted and won't leave me alone. Link to post Share on other sites
cijay Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Wilbur, you're my hero! I'm standing up, clapping but I can't whistle. I would if I could but never mastered the skill. Some people who know me kinda well said nice things like they appreciated me going up there Remember that part. It was the people who know you kinda' well, obviously they're happy to know you and proud of who you are. And remember Elizabeth and the dean and the support you're getting from them. You're doing fine! Link to post Share on other sites
joski Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Wow, in front of a class. I know that when I told my friends over IM that I was gay a month ago I was shaking and almost broke down. The next night I was at a party and just got drunk off my ass to help ease the pain (it never works). I am just now really coming to terms with it but.....professing that you are a sexual minority in front of a class? Hell that would make me cry too. Well, at least you are out with it, now the adjustment and coping period starts. Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Oh, Laura! I'm so sorry that they were so rude to you and gave you all those looks! That's the hardest thing, to be saying something as personal as that and getting all those awful looks, makes you just want to die!! I'm so glad there were nice people who went out to comfort you though!! At least someone cared! That's so brave of you *hugs* look at all the people you educated, at least!! Kate Link to post Share on other sites
Icarus Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 *applause* *wishes he were there--would have used the opportunity to "come out" too and stand them up in the process :twisted:* It's too bad people had to act in such a way as to make you feel as bad as possible. Hopefully you'll feel better in time. On the plus side is that it was "high-visibility" and won't soon (if ever) be forgotten by those who respect you for it. The rest of them will eventually get over that oh-so-horrible :roll: realization that they actually came across somebody for whom sex actually isn't relevent. More power to you. Now would be a good time to read Cate Perfect's signature. It especially applies to the rest of the class. You deserve a medal. Can we strike a Brother Wilbur Award for Courage, please? No kidding. 8) *ping* *ping* *ping* *ping* *ping* *ping* *ping* *ping* Done. (Dammit, now what'd I do with it? :oops:) Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 YAY!!!! *applause applause* I'm so proud. Good on you. *lays medal over your head* Let Laura be an inspiration to us all. Cate Link to post Share on other sites
junie99 Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 I admire your courage in coming out and creating visibility! :) I am glad that you have some supportive, open minded people on your side. :) Link to post Share on other sites
fluffy_hime Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 What everyone else said! And look at Cate's quote. Link to post Share on other sites
KAGU143 Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Wow, Laura ... I am astonished that you had enough courage to go through with that! Even thinking about it gives me the willies. I think I would have passed out from terror before I even got my mouth open. Don't worry about what the idiots think. The most positive thing of all is that ALL of the people who heard you have now heard of asexuality. No matter how they react right now, you have still planted a seed. You sure did kick up a big cloud of dust! But, once it settles, all of the results will be good. You do INDEED deserve a medal! -Greybird Link to post Share on other sites
noodle Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Laura - you are a star. Hat off to ya girl :D Link to post Share on other sites
underminethewalls Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Wow, that gives me goosebumps. I've had my inspiration for the day! That was an incredible feat you did, and it has my full respect. Publically and openly stepping outside of the established norm can be among the most difficult things one can do, especially the first few times. I really wish I had the courage to do so in any meaningful way. That's actually the job I've placed before myself for this summer, and there's no guarantees I'll accomplish it. Anyway, you've taken the plunge. There's nothing to do now but just continue forward, and it should get much easier from here on out. Congratulations! And here's a medal: :aven: Link to post Share on other sites
Des Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Wow. I'm glad my speech went better than that. That was very brave of you. Will somebody show me where the little Aven emotes are? Link to post Share on other sites
Jordan Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 :shock: Damn, thinking of that situation makes me cringe. I bow to you, Brother Wilbur. I think of myself in situations similar to that all the time. I have all these arguments in my head defending asexuality against the arrogent, narrow-minded sexuals, just to prepare myself in case the situation one day comes to me. Of course, it'll be just as difficult for me since I'm the quiet type. Definately give her a medal with a polished, golden aven symbol on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Live R Perfect Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Desedenflau: Check out the 'New Smilies' thread in the Announcements forum and all will be revealed... Or just click on the 'View more emoticons' link when you are writing a post to see the full set. Link to post Share on other sites
Jayann Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Brother Wilbur, you are an inspiration. "The Purple Heart is awarded for courage and loyalty in the face of extreme personal sacrifice or loss." For fighting the good fight. I salute you. Link to post Share on other sites
mindlife Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Brother Wilbur, I've read many of your other posts here, and given my impression of your mind and personality, I'm not surprised at your courage. You have to live with yourself, and I hope you do so harmoniously regardless of the faces of some your peers. Believe it or not, you're as strong as you are brave. And you're always okay in our eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
snowplow Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 ((((((((((hug)))))))))) Wish I could have been there to hug you as well. Link to post Share on other sites
AVENguy Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Wow, that's an amazing thing for you to have done. It's definitely tough, I remember crying like that the first time I came out to alot of people (and I got a much warmer reception.) All I can say, from experience, is that it only gets easier. Once you've looked a couple of those disbelieving people in the eye and calmly explained to them why their wrong you'll realize that there's nothing to be afraid of. Link to post Share on other sites
Brother Wilbur Posted April 28, 2004 Author Share Posted April 28, 2004 Eeep - thank you? :oops: But I just wanna say... Now thats its a day or two afterwards.. it feels good. Like I don't have to pretend to anything. And everyone heard, so I can make jokes around anyone in that topic... so, I'm glad I did it. And thanks, people, for the support and all (I'm bad at these sort of speeches) :oops: :aven: Laura Link to post Share on other sites
Brother Wilbur Posted April 28, 2004 Author Share Posted April 28, 2004 Oh, and nice quote, Cate Perfect :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Artemis Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Wow. That was such an incredibly brave thing to do, Laura. I'm sure you've opened a lot of people's minds. I second what everyone else has said. :D :aven: :D Link to post Share on other sites
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