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I feel guilty for being attracted...contrubites to my asexua


Hal

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Greetings.

I wanted to mention, I think of sexuality as something that can be uncompassionate. Instance-I never ever express my attraction to one woman when she is with a friend who I dont find appealing, This would make me feel bad. I am obsessed with body mechanics, if a woman is knocked kneed or disproportionate I am unattreacted, but I dont really like this, (though I would never deny it is important to me how a woman moves)

Could I tell the woman I am unattracted too that I dont want to get close to her because she is bow legged? Hell no! This would be bad! How would that make her feel? Alot of my sexuality is repressed for this reason, carnality and hedonism leave a horrible taste in my mouth. So I am torn, between my tendency to not desire sex, my yearning to make it a part of my life, my angst at the uncompassionate aspect of sex, and my genuine attraction to women who have a specific body type coupled with a good personality.

I am so confused.

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fluffy_hime

You're not a bad person because you prefer one type of woman over another. Yes, you would be a bad person if you TOLD a woman that, but it doesn't sound like you would. :D

As for "yearning not to desire sex" and wanting it to be a part of your life, I can't help you on that one. Are you a Gemini?

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Yes, you would be a bad person if you TOLD a woman that, but it doesn't sound like you would. :D

he wouldn't be a "bad person," he would just be acting in an inconsiderate way.

i know how you feel man, i experienced a year in my own personal hell because i was afraid of being myself. if you want to feel less uncomfortable with yourself, you should let go a little. try not to think "i don't want to be sexually attracted to people - so i'm not." instead, ask yourself "am i sexually attracted to people?"

anyhow, physical attraction is a biological desire, and if you experience it (like i do occasionally) you shouldn't feel bad. the reason some people are called "conventionally attractive" is because there *is* such a thing. in the simplest terms: we are all driven to search for a partner who is clean, attractive, and friendly, because we subconsciously believe that will make them a good mate. almost every girl i go for looks exactly the same, because that's my type. don't beat yourself up about it.

and i hope to god you don't have a streak of self-loathing just because you're a guy and "guys are dicks." that would be silly because 99% of women are whorish, bitchy and competitive. neither one sucks more than the other...hahaha...sorry, that came out all wrong...

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Cate Perfect

Yeah, I must chiefly know the other 1%. Lucky me.

Cate

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As far as the 99 percent of women being competetive I agree with that, and it ties into my theory of why girls are attracted to gay guys (which happened almost the instant I came out :roll: ). Hetero guys wanna fuck em', other girls compete with em' and the gay guy is the supportive one who ain't gonna fuck em' or stab them in the back.

Anyway, don't feel bad for being picky about women. Thats not a bad thing. And pleeeeeeze don't fall into a cycle of self loathing, I know all too well where that can lead. Just relax and be nice to every girl, just because you're nice doesn't mean you want to sleep with them. I wouldn't go out with a guy in a wheel chair, it sounds mean but It's true, gay guys are allowed to be very picky about their sex partners. I suggest you take a lesson from that, people still end up finding love even when they are picky. If you are bothered by a knock-kneed woman, than you are a bad match for her too. Sexuality is all about attraction, embrace that, don't hate yourself for it.

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I don't want anyone to have any involvement with me if he or she is not prepared to deal with my handicap and its limitations.

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Yeah, I agree that neither gender is better and that plenty of women are whorish and bitchy, but isn't 99% a bit much?

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Let's even the field and say that 99% of men are horny, ignorant, and pigheaded.

I keep looking for girls with long red hair just because I like long red hair on girls. I like brunettes okay, but I don't like blondes. My only real worry is that I tend to make decisions about girls based solely on their hair color. Of course, since I'm just looking at them and not talking to them, I don't see where I'm going to actually hurt anything.

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