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Do you find people sexy


Sammie

Do you find certain people Sexy?  

1 member has voted

  1. 1. Do you find certain people Sexy?

    • Yes, and these are often people I have romantic feelings for
      18
    • Yes, this is completely seperated from any romantic feelings
      50
    • No, but I do have romantic feelings for people
      53
    • No, I do not have sexual or romantic feelings for people
      26
    • Don't know
      6
    • Other (explain)
      9

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I noticed this topic: http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?sho...3&st=0&

The topic was started by Lucinda who wondered why people considered certain famous actors sexy. Clearly she did not experience this feeling herself. I did not recognise myself in this: though I identify myself as asexual, I find some people more then just beautiful: I find them sexy, even though I have no desire at all to have sex with them. I also often get romantic crushes on guys I also consider to be sexy.

So I'm wondering: how many of you find certain people sexy? If you have any romantic feelings, are these often directed towards people you consider to be sexy?

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I would say 'sexy' is related to being sexual, in my opinion, but I may be wrong.

As for me, I can usually recognise when someone looks sultry, and I'm told sultry is usually sexy. I've never found somebody to be sexy, though.

Oh, and I feel romantic attraction.

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I don't at all. In the vast majority of times I don't even find people either attractive or unattractive. They're just people.

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The only people I find 'sexy' are those who, for one reason or another, are unobtainable. When I was young, my mother said I was too choosy, now I know different.

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Funny. I never associated finding people sexy with wanting to have sex with them. A lot of people find others sexy without wanting to have sex with them there and then. I'll see a guy and think 'wow, he's hot!' but I'll have no intention to do anything besides look at them. I wonder, does finding people sexy make me any less asexual?

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I didn't vote yet because I'm confused.

Sexy= attractive yes?

And what do you mean by romantic? I used to think romantic was all roses and hearts, but now it seems more like having sex. -.-

I find people sexy, but I actually only find fictional characters sexy. (Or like Anime a few years ago) I usually just find people beautiful or handsome. Right now, I think Aragorn from LoTR is sexy. (He's fictional) But if he took off his shirt I wouldn't find him sexy. I think guys look gross (IMO) if they show more than just a part of their chest. So I generally find some guys sexy/handsome, but I don't have sexual feelings towards them. I just like to think about them in my daydreams and hanging out with them.

I really sound retarded. ^

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retarded? not really.

I also don't feel people ever get to look any sexier by taking of clothes.

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Puzzle_chick

I have to go with no, I only have romantic feelings. I can find people good-looking, and I'll often use the word "sexy" to convey that I found so-and-so's shoulders particularly ogle-worthy, (Jack Sparrow, Yami, Luke, other anime people...) but I don't think that they're sexy. I think they're good-looking. Artistically good-looking. And if it's the person I have romantic feelings for, well I think she's beautiful. But sexy...I just don't feel like that word really conveys what I feel.

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Other - I don't look at other people as sex objects but I do find some people aesthetically pleasing. I would consider them cute rather than sexy. Romantic feelings come from my knowing a person and not from how they look but I have the best of both worlds as my SO is also very cute. :wub:

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I can sometimes recognize sexy vs. aesthetically appealing. I tend to see "sexy" in the context of a nice face and "female" body, while aesthetically appealing would be be a nice face and thin. I tend to be attracted per my sense of aesthetics, which means a person I'm attracted to is sometimes sexy and sometimes not since having a "female" body and being thin aren't mutually exclusive.

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I am not sure I'd use the term sexy because in my opinion (and understading of the term) it implies you feel some kind of sexual attraction to somebody. It's not my case. I experience romantic feelings and love, and only if I know the person. And in that case, most of the time, it's not only the look and the appearance but also the attitude, the way someone moves, speaks, etc... which I find appealing and makes my head spin, like my loving b/f, who's meeting all these criterias... :blush:

Otherwise, if it's just someone I don't know, it's more like looking at an artistic picture and thinking "this looks good" but that's it.

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I don't think that I have ever found anybody to be "sexy", and, while I AM attracted to some people, I don't consider that attraction to be romantic in nature.

I make a sharp distinction between loving feelings and romantic ones, but that's just me.

Your mileage may vary.

-GB

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I find certain women sexy, but I don't have the desire to have sex with them. I can find their bodies very visually attractive, but only if the clothes stay on :). I'm not sure whether or not I am romantically attracted to people or not (I'm not sure my brain quite grasps the concept of romance), although I would say I am sometimes emotionally attracted to people.

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I'm the same as a couple of the others who posted before me. I find some people attractive to the point that I experience a dwarfed sense of awe when I see them, but I definitely don't think,"Damn, I want to get me some of that." It's more like,"He looks like an angel."

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Hmm, I may think "Damn! He's sexy!" and then nothing more, no "got to get me some of that" follows. And from the results of the poll I'd say more asexuals find people sexy. So many no reason to doubt after all? It is confusing though.

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I'm not sure I really know what romantic attraction is. But I find people sexy. Its usually superficial things like his body, eyes, smile, hair,etc. Sexy to me is eye candy, and my eyes love candy. Romance is something I don't believe I've experienced. To be quite honest, I start to obsess over the person if I start to see him as more than eye candy. I wouldn't call that romance, just puppy luv.

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  • 2 weeks later...

It would be possible. I always use this example: a heterosexual woman is capable of noticing that another woman is physically attractive, but she's not physically attracted to her because her physical attraction is to men, not women. Likewise, a heterosexual woman can also notice that another woman is sexy, but she isn't sexually attracted to her because her sexual attraction is for men, not women. In the same vein, an asexual can see that a person is what would be considered sexually attractive, or sexy, without being sexually attracted to him or her, because he or she doesn't have sexual attraction to anyone. So it doesn't contradict an asexual identity.

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It's kind of hard to answer. I think anime guys are really sexy (Kristoph Gavin, his brother, Sephiroth, Kadaj, Org13 members and so on) but only a couple characters did I think something like "ho shit..they're hot..if anime characters existed oh boy" I don't like thinking like that but it's still strange..I find them very very sexy but I still can't think of them like..sexually..though I can at the same time it's strange I don't know what you'd call it.

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It would be possible. I always use this example: a heterosexual woman is capable of noticing that another woman is physically attractive, but she's not physically attracted to her because her physical attraction is to men, not women. Likewise, a heterosexual woman can also notice that another woman is sexy, but she isn't sexually attracted to her because her sexual attraction is for men, not women. In the same vein, an asexual can see that a person is what would be considered sexually attractive, or sexy, without being sexually attracted to him or her, because he or she doesn't have sexual attraction to anyone. So it doesn't contradict an asexual identity.

From that rational... there'd be no difference wether an asexual was looking at a man or a woman, as the asexual has no sexual feelings for either of them. Jet this doesn't always seem to be the case.

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It would be possible. I always use this example: a heterosexual woman is capable of noticing that another woman is physically attractive, but she's not physically attracted to her because her physical attraction is to men, not women. Likewise, a heterosexual woman can also notice that another woman is sexy, but she isn't sexually attracted to her because her sexual attraction is for men, not women. In the same vein, an asexual can see that a person is what would be considered sexually attractive, or sexy, without being sexually attracted to him or her, because he or she doesn't have sexual attraction to anyone. So it doesn't contradict an asexual identity.

From that rational... there'd be no difference wether an asexual was looking at a man or a woman, as the asexual has no sexual feelings for either of them. Jet this doesn't always seem to be the case.

I think this sentence mostly proved I'm not really asexual..maybe just a repulsed sexual

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It would be possible. I always use this example: a heterosexual woman is capable of noticing that another woman is physically attractive, but she's not physically attracted to her because her physical attraction is to men, not women. Likewise, a heterosexual woman can also notice that another woman is sexy, but she isn't sexually attracted to her because her sexual attraction is for men, not women. In the same vein, an asexual can see that a person is what would be considered sexually attractive, or sexy, without being sexually attracted to him or her, because he or she doesn't have sexual attraction to anyone. So it doesn't contradict an asexual identity.

From that rational... there'd be no difference wether an asexual was looking at a man or a woman, as the asexual has no sexual feelings for either of them. Jet this doesn't always seem to be the case.

Well there's also the factor of homophobia and some public perception of asexuality. You'll notice I used a heterosexual woman in my example because women don't have a problem with acknowledging the attractiveness of men and women, whereas the majority of men won't comment on the attractiveness of men for fear of being perceived as gay (and female friends have told me that they don't understand why a man can't acknowledge that another man is attractive when they can do so for other women). Experiments have been conducted to confirm this, that men are adamant about refusing to comment on the attractiveness of another man. They must affirm their heterosexual masculinity and distance themselves from being perceived as homosexual. And speaking strictly for me, numerous people have said I must be gay, because if you're not sexually attracted to and want to have sex with women you must therefore be gay. I'm guessing other asexuals might have had the same experience growing up. So that has more to do with the construction of masculinity than about asexuality.

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  • 2 weeks later...
ThePieMaker

I do find some men to be very sexy, but rarely do I have romantic feelings for them. And it's very rare that I find a guy sexy who I am romantically attracted to.

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uilleann_pipes_girl

I've always sort of used the word "sexy" in my mind, to describe guys (and the occasional woman) I find visually and romantically attractive, people I'd like to get closer to and cuddle. But it definitely doesn't mean I want to actually have sex with any of them. It's just the word that has been drummed into my head from living in a sexual culture all my life, and I'm probably not using it right.

I never really thought about the fact that most people probably associate "sexy" with "having sex," because I never really understood (until recently) that anyone truly wanted sex. When I thought about it at all, I vaguely assumed it must all be a pretense somehow, and they all did it just because it was expected or something.

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I do find people 'sexy' so to speak.

If I see someone who I think is aesthetically pleasing/attractive - in a 'sexy' way, not just in a good-looking way (yes I AM able to tell the difference between someone who I think is just good-looking/pretty/cute to someone who is sexy) - then, yes I would think they are sexy. I'd even go as far as to call them 'hot'.

But even when I find someone to be 'sexy', I don't feel any arosal or anything (that sexuals may often associate with finding someone sexy). It's kind of strange I guess - the best way I can explain it is that I'd view them as 'sexy' from a detached point of view - like, I'd be aware that this person would qualify as being 'sexy'...but would not link this with wanting to actually have sex with them. Dunno if I'm making any sense. :blink:

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It would be possible. I always use this example: a heterosexual woman is capable of noticing that another woman is physically attractive, but she's not physically attracted to her because her physical attraction is to men, not women. Likewise, a heterosexual woman can also notice that another woman is sexy, but she isn't sexually attracted to her because her sexual attraction is for men, not women. In the same vein, an asexual can see that a person is what would be considered sexually attractive, or sexy, without being sexually attracted to him or her, because he or she doesn't have sexual attraction to anyone. So it doesn't contradict an asexual identity.

From that rational... there'd be no difference wether an asexual was looking at a man or a woman, as the asexual has no sexual feelings for either of them. Jet this doesn't always seem to be the case.

Well there's also the factor of homophobia and some public perception of asexuality. You'll notice I used a heterosexual woman in my example because women don't have a problem with acknowledging the attractiveness of men and women, whereas the majority of men won't comment on the attractiveness of men for fear of being perceived as gay (and female friends have told me that they don't understand why a man can't acknowledge that another man is attractive when they can do so for other women). Experiments have been conducted to confirm this, that men are adamant about refusing to comment on the attractiveness of another man. They must affirm their heterosexual masculinity and distance themselves from being perceived as homosexual. And speaking strictly for me, numerous people have said I must be gay, because if you're not sexually attracted to and want to have sex with women you must therefore be gay. I'm guessing other asexuals might have had the same experience growing up. So that has more to do with the construction of masculinity than about asexuality.

I absolutely do not doubt that many men and women find both sexes sexy or attractive, and I'm aware that a lot of people - mostly men - are in denial about this. But would someone who's ONLY attracted to one sex (gay or straight, no matter) still consider the other sex as sexy?

From my own experience, I'd say no. I find a lot of girls very beautiful, in many ways, but I'd never find them sexy. Only guys make me go 'O my, he's hot!'. And that's a very very different feeling. Jet I would never relate my finding some guys sexy to wanting to have sex with them.

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endplusone

I'm aesthetically attracted to people of both sexes... I didn't choose the option of thinking they're sexy because I'm not sure if that would be the correct word for me to use, or if I'd even ever say that. I'd say they were "visually pleasing". I don't even know what "sexy" means... is it the same as being aesthetically attracted, or is it that plus the feeling of wanting to have sex with them? Perhaps it depends upon the person and their meaning for it. Anyways, I chose "other".

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I can see why someone would be considered sexy and agree but I have the cursed photographer eye where I see awkwardness and androgyny as more beautiful.

It's kind of hard to answer. I think anime guys are really sexy (Kristoph Gavin, his brother, Sephiroth, Kadaj, Org13 members and so on) but only a couple characters did I think something like "ho shit..they're hot..if anime characters existed oh boy" I don't like thinking like that but it's still strange..I find them very very sexy but I still can't think of them like..sexually..though I can at the same time it's strange I don't know what you'd call it.

I know what you mean. Sephiroth is my almost freepass from asexiness. If he was real I'd be all like "hell yeah, but wait, maybe not...okay maybe no sex...or anything...maybe a hug...if he won't stab me..." He confuses my asexy mind....

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I know what you mean. Sephiroth is my almost freepass from asexiness. If he was real I'd be all like "hell yeah, but wait, maybe not...okay maybe no sex...or anything...maybe a hug...if he won't stab me..." He confuses my asexy mind....

Hmm... exactly my reaction when I see a sexy guy. Like "Hell yeah, got to get me some of that... but wait.. get some of what? a hug, a kiss? no sex!". Its defenitely different from finding someone beautiful. Its.. I don't know.. a feeling in my stomach?

It certainly confusses my asexy mind as well. But should it? Sexy need not imply wanting actual sex with someone.

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i don't find people sexy. I do find some girls cute or whatever, then when I get to know them, if I think their nice and smart, I MIGHT get romantic feelings for them thats about all.

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Beardless

I be not able to be tellin' who be sexy and who be not, tho' I be attemptin' to be in a romatic relationship...

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