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Asexual Aura...?


Adnama

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Back story: So today in drafting class this one guy, good friend of mine lets call him A, went to turn his work in. Now this guy is the ultimate, anal, nitpicking, perfectionest, he dose it a million times and will settle for no less than a 100 on every thing he does. I didn't hear the entire conversation which insued between the teacher and him, but the gist of it was that A had forgotten a couple of lines, which would have cost him 5 points.

"What? Are you going to give up 5 points just like that? What are you, on drugs? That would be a total and complete personality change!"

He came back to do his lines, I laughed at him, and the teacher went on to say, "Hmm, look at his clothes and how he's growing his hair out and spikeing it, I'm thinking he's under the influence of a women...."

At this point he looks at ME. It does seem to be common oppion at the school that A and I are more than friends... but that's another story. In any event I mock glared at the teacher and we laughed and went on with our work. A thought a moment, and then he says, "you know what.... no one has -ever- said any thing like that to me... What about you? I mean has any one ever said any thing like that to -you-? Yeah right." [He knows about my asexuality, and probably suspected such long before I named it. Though he him self is not asexual... to my knowlage any how, just a nerd.] Of course I vehemently agreed.

And in any event, to try and get to the point of things here- is there an aseuxal vibe or aura that we give off? Do people, thouse who know you well and even thouse who don't, just automaticly kind of catch that kind of thing and therefore "never say any thing like 'that'" to/about you?

I think often times close friends pick up on it, they figure out before long that your not interested in sex and such. But do more casual aquantiences, collegues, teachers, co workers, ect pick up on it as much? Is it rare for someone to make a comment such as the above regarding you? Am I just bord with nothing to do but post mindless nothingness on AVEN? Will I ever shut up? Will the questions ever stop? Will....hey put that dow-*strange gurgiling noise and all is silent*

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A teacher keeps hinting that I like some guy in my science class, too. The guy in question went to Wales on a rugby trip for a week a little while ago, and was joking about accidentally killing himself due to his clumsiness overseas. The teacher said, "Well, a lot of women would really miss your face," and looked over at me. Considering the guy a) knows I'm asexual and B) already has a girlfriend, I doubt it'll be working out between us. :P

People my age always seem to just know, though. I liken it to the fact that adults can never get my name right. They always say "Ummm...Teresa??" On the other hand, even when I was a bouncing kindergartener, my classmates would always just take one look at my name and know. I think I have an aura, at least, considering how even before I knew that I was asexual people were staying stuff like, "You're lucky, you don't seem like you ever have to worry about hopeless crushes."

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bard of aven

Aurae? Maybe, maybe not, don't know. What I want to know is what the hell is up with these teachers.

boa

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Now that I think about it, I must have a vibe. It's very rare for me to get "that" kind of comment (other than as a joke), thank goodness. Of course, I don't think I've ever seen a teacher make that kind of comment about students around here. Maybe I'm just not around, though. Fortunately, even when I do have crushes, my friends don't bring up the disgusting images about it like they do to other people. Thank goodness for the vibe, whether it actually exists or not.

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And in any event, to try and get to the point of things here- is there an aseuxal vibe or aura that we give off? Do people, thouse who know you well and even thouse who don't, just automaticly kind of catch that kind of thing and therefore "never say any thing like 'that'" to/about you?

I wish to hell I did, then I wouldn't be such a geek magnet or have everyone trying to fix me up with the entire male portion of their family!

boa, I'm always surprised what teachers are like now, my friend's daughter gets to call her teachers by their first names! So much for learning to respect authority, no wonder some people get to the work force with a "nobody can tell ME what to do!" attitude.

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I don't know. I always wondered, you know, how some people can spot homosexuals - "gay-dar." Can there be an "A-dar" too? (Someone on here was talking about a-dar, I think. :D )

When I came out to one of my friends as asexual, she did say that she couldn't picture me ever getting married. So maybe I do have an aura.

And nobody ever tries to involve me in a conversation about sex - I feel like it's blaringly obvious that I've never had it. I don't know why that seems to be, but I feel that it is. :)

On the other hand... I get the impression that most people just think I'm gay.

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The guy in question went to Wales on a rugby trip for a week a little while ago, and was joking about accidentally killing himself due to his clumsiness overseas."

Yeah baby :D

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Vicious Trollop

I don't think I give off "A-dar" (I LOVE that), but I also wish I did. I think most people assume I'm straight on first sight, and if I don't seem sexual it's because I am an introvert. Also I may seem sexual because when I'm nervous I get flirty.

I get the impression that most people just think I'm gay.

Yes - yes - people who have known I've been single for most of my life (primarily my older brother and sister) have, I think, started to think I'm gay.

Very few people who know me well would be unsurprised by my asexuality. My two best friends know and were not surprised, but mostly I don't think people would guess because they cannot conceive of such a thing. Repressed, shy, maybe; asexual, inconceivable!

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this may sound strange but what the heck i have been open here so far so just as well let my thoughts go. i believe everyone has an aura. you know how when a person enters a room the 'feeling' changes and they bring a certain flavor to the atmosphere? i have experienced that anyway. i have found when a person is strongly sexual there is indeed an uncomfortable....whats the word....'selfish' (?) sort of aura to them. not that them being sexual is all that goes into it. sometimes you do not even have to know someone at all to pick up on the aura about them. when someone is asexual i would think there is an aura to them that includes, but is not limited to, them being asexual .....just like any one else it reflects the whole package. its just that society it so centered on sex that the asexual part may get overlooked because its almost like some else said, sex is a given. but i do believe everyone has an aura

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I believe in aurae too but as for an asexual one? I don't know but I wish I had one. If anyone gets one, can they tell me where I can get one? :lol:

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I've always thought that I must have some kind of aura that deters people from showing an interest in me... but I always figured that I was emitting "anti-guy rays" or something.

People my age always seem to just know, though.

I'm with you, Tressa. All my peers seem to know that I don't have an interest in relationships, but sexual adults seem to have a harder time grasping the concept. I have this one teacher who made it his personal goal to convince me that I should have a boyfriend. He kept telling me that my "knight in shining armor" would come someday, and the last time I saw him before he retired, he said, "You still don't have a boyfriend? What are you going to do, be an old maid?" And I told him that, yes, thank you very much, I was.

~Aspen

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Aurae? Maybe, maybe not, don't know. What I want to know is what the hell is up with these teachers.

boa

yeah, I'm with you.

Again, I sorta feel like George on that particular episode on Seinfeld most of the time.

(however it comes up in the conversation)

I'm asexual

Sexual: No you're not.

Yes I am.

Sexual: No, you can't reproduce on your own.

Asexuality is also a sexual orientation.

Sexual: No it's not...

I'd also like to stand up for the anal-retentive-gotta-get-an-A guy. I know where he's coming from: I also have taken home a 3.22 GPA and been punished for it. Sometimes it's the parents.

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PlatonicPimp

Heh. A-dar

Around here few other people know about asexuality, and I'm constantly explaining it to people. (Since I'm not asexual myself, This is very difficult) The funny part is I often get the feeling some of our friends are asexual themselves, but just don't have the concept. They set off my A-dar.

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underminethewalls

A few years ago a met couple of young women on a Greyhound bus. The three of us, and I think some others talked for about ten hours from OKC to LA. That's why I love the bus as my favorite form of transportation. You don't get that with other forms of transportation, not even flying. The norms, or the people, or something somehow seem different. But anyway, a few hours into the trip they commented that I set of their "vir-dar". I didn't know about asexuality at the time, I still thought I was just a very late bloomer, so I was pretty impressed. Now, though, the story makes a lot more sense.

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fluffy_hime

There was a thread almost EXACTLY like this awhile back. I shall have to try to find it.

I think I do give off a vibe. On the one hand I'm kind of relieved, but on the other hand I'm kind of insulted when people say things like "You know, I can't ever picture you getting married." (No one has never actually said this, but it's been insinuated many times.) I mean, when people make comments like that, I feel like celibacy is being foisted upon me because of my vibe of undesirableness, rather than just being naturally asexual. Anyone know what I mean?

And what is "vir-dar"?

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I mean, when people make comments like that, I feel like celibacy is being foisted upon me because of my vibe of undesirableness, rather than just being naturally asexual. Anyone know what I mean?

Yeah. People are always insinuating that asexuality is good for me because I have absolutely no hope of being interesting to anyone. Ouch! :P

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I don't know about y'all's teachers, but lay off mine. Contrary to what that incident may have implyed, he's actually a really cool teacher, great guy to talk to, funny, all that good stuff. Yes I'm a nerd who talks to my teachers on a slightly more than student-teacher level, get over it lol.

Lets see... one time one of my friends told me that she could never see me with a boy friend, or being married, or any thing. Every one else with in ear shot of that comment vehemently agreed.

Then another one of my friends pipes up and says "I could picture Amanda with a gay guy!"

I mentioned this to another one of my friends on the phone, and she agreed. Infact she went on to say that I should get a sex change and go for the gay guy.... but that's just the way this person is.

Go figure that one out, lol.

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I think I must give out some kind of a vibe because I almost never get chatted up (or maybe it's the horns and pointy teeth.... :wink: ).

On the other hand, strangely, a lot of people I work with assume I have a boyfriend (even though I never mention this person), and they can't believe that I'm single. I put this down to me not seeming desperate or going on (miserably) about being single and how I need a partner.

I think my friends who don't know I'm A have just got used to the idea that I'm not interested in being "attached" and don't mention it. One friend used to go on a bit, trying to find out which guys I fancied, and then when that got nowhere was trying to see if I would "come out" as lesbian, but now she just doesn't mention it either.

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sexiseverywhere

No one I've ever known has come out to ma as Asexual, but with my gay and bi friends I can usually pick it up on their Aura. A lot of times they have more 'blue' to their aura, whatever the heck THAT means. :roll:

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Carsonspire

Just out of curiosity, how many of you can see aurae? I don't mean any kind of radar or feeling, but actually seeing the color(s) around a person's body. I can't see them, but I know several people who can.

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Hmmm. I've only gotten that sort of comment twice. The first time was my freshman year of high school. I guess one of my friends from Drama Club saw me talking to a male friend in the cafe (we were leaning in close to talk because it was loud) and I guess she assumed he was my boyfriend. She asked me about it later, and I said no, he was just a friend. Then a few weeks ago, I was telling a friend about another friend. Then I pulled the second friend's picture out of my wallet to show the first friend, who asked if the woman in the picture was my girlfriend. I said, heck no, she's more of a big sister. ANyway, it stinks when people go and assume stuff like that.

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I don't know if asexuality is even an important enough part of a person to manifest in one's aura. I mean, in the great scheme of things, one's sexual orientation or lack thereof isn't really all that important. From what I understand, things that are likely to show up in an aura are abilities, tendencies - things that would carry over through reincarnation, if you believe in that. And for me, as I believe reincarnation can take you through as many genders and orientations and even species as exist, something as silly as sexual preference, or lack of sexual preference, that could change so greatly based on the body/gender/species/planet/etc you're born into for a specific life...well, that isn't going to bother showing up in your aura. It's simply inconsequential compared to all the other things that *do* show up in the aura.

On a personal note as an example, I believe in reincarnation, and can remember pieces of lives where I've been male, one's where I've been female, ones where I didn't bother to take a body at all and just floated around in space. More important to me is the variations of relationships I've had with people that I know in this life, or have memories of from past lives that don't connect with current people in my life. I could explain that farther, but I don't know if anyone cares.

-LD

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Do you mean you think asexuals give off something subconciously that says "keep away" or "dont bother me with sexual crap im not interested" kind of thing?

I dont see why we wouldnt, i mean people pick up on body language and things like that all the time - they seem to know when someone is interested in them and show interest back in small ways before the real flirting begins. Also (and this is on dodgy ground here) its kind of not difficult to tell when someone is pregnant or sleeping with someone (especially their first time) somehow- or at least thats happened to me quite a few times... so if people can tell those things about someone from thier "aura" i dont see why they wouldnt be able to tell your not interested in them or others around you in a sexual way etc.

I dont believe in auras in the "Psychic" sense of the word, but im a firm believer in body language and smell

people rarely make comments to me when i spend time with male friends about being interested in them in that kind of way, but then they know how annoyed i get about stuff like that so... :roll:

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I'd say there's definitely some specifics that could be picked out from body language and the like that indicate asexuality. Pheromones, for example - do we even exude them, or perhps asexuals exude certain pheromones that say 'taken' or 'not interested'. I'd say that kind of "vibe" is far more likely than any kind of spiritual aura, which may or may not exist, according to your own beliefs.

It just struck me that from a sexual perspective, this entire conversation seems anathema. How could anything be more important than sex? <snickers>

-LD

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Carsonspire
On a personal note as an example, I believe in reincarnation, and can remember pieces of lives where I've been male, one's where I've been female, ones where I didn't bother to take a body at all and just floated around in space. More important to me is the variations of relationships I've had with people that I know in this life, or have memories of from past lives that don't connect with current people in my life. I could explain that farther, but I don't know if anyone cares.

I care. Could you explain that a bit more?

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For me, I remember past lives as bits and pieces. I don't usually remember specific time periods, although I connect with certain eras and can say 'yes, I was there in some form'. What I do recall are various genders and the relationships I've had with other people that are familiar to me from this lifetime. I would say that in short, I seem to 'trave' through incarnations with a certain group of people, but there are undoubtedly complexitiesas to why exactly that is that I don't understand just yet, and may be unable to understand in my current form. I think a good portion of it may be by choice - that I choose to incarnate in a form that will allow me to be in contact with people/souls that I have bonded with or have had relationships with.

A lot of these memories centre around my love, LateralShadow. There is a reason I call him my soulmate, after al! I can recall lives where I have have been female, and he's been female. I've been male, and he's been male. I've been male, and he's been female. I've been human and he...wasn't. We've both been human, we've both been not human, we've both been too lazy/bored/weak to incarnate and floated around space for a time.

I've been married to him, I've been married to my best friend, he's been married to other people. I'm pretty sure at some time or other we've been each other's children or parents, or just friends - whatever relationship was allowed by the time, the society, the bodies we were in, so long as we were close. I have more specific memories of a time when I was married to my best friend and he was my lesbian lover on the side! (Marriage isn't always about love - sometimes it's business, sometimes it's an attempt to have a relationship that would better be expressed through familial ties or just friendship, or afriendship or alove, even. Sometimes it was just the best option for the time to allow me to be close to those I cared about.)

One of LS' and my close friends in this life was his daughter in a past life. My best friend was my sister. LS has been my brother. The closer I am to a person, the moreimportnt that they are to me, I think makes it more likely that I have had multiple types of relationships with that person - incarnation seems to have some elements of choice about them, and I seem to choose to be close to these people in whatever way is available in the circumstances of that specific incarnation. The variations of my connections and bonds with important people in my life are far more interesting to me than what body, if any, I preferred to have sex with! Therefore, rather unlikely that anything like that is going to show up in the aura - unless it's something along the lines of 'I have a preference for this specific person in whatever form is available'. Sex and gender just aren't that important.

Memories of people that I don't know in this life are more rare - I haven't met them in this life to trigger a 'hey, I know you!' familiar reaction and the memories along with that. But I know they're out there, somewhere - but on this plane of existence or in this universe may not be the case for them this time around, yanno?

I could go off into my ideas of what souls and people are, but that's a conversation more suited to OTness or private messages. I don't want to bore people who really aren't interested by posting alot on an otherwise unrelated thread.

-LD

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