PurpleMs Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Hi All, I haven't been around for awhile, even though I think of you often, but thought it best to write when I had something to share with you. Gentle readers, this is told for your amusement or education. This story began 4 months ago when I began an e-pal friendship with a British man named A. He was married, but that didn't put me off as we only discussed innocent topics, such as gardening, history and the difference between living in a small English town & NY. I began to look forward to his e-mails and he said that he wished that I would write more often. I have the habit of leaving e-mails sit around in my inbox before I reply. This turned out to be a good thing. I noticed that he had sent 2 emails in one day and the second one was titled, "I'm sorry". I couldn't imagine what he had to be sorry about. So I opened the first message & to my surprise, it was addressed to another woman (we both shared the same first initial and A. must have became confused when sending it). Since it landed in my inbox I decided to read it and found that its tone was quite different from the messages A. sent me. It seemed that he was seeking a relationship with this woman because his wife was not taking care of his needs. This woman was interested in another fellow. So on & so forth. What an eye opener! I then opened his apology in which A. claimed to have have sent a message to his "ex-girlfriend" & I got it by mistake. Far as I'm concerned, the mistake he made was that he showed his hand early in the game. I'm glad that he did before he wasted anymore of my time. I began to wonder if he really had a garden where he grew carnations or was it just nonsense he told a "gulliable" woman in NY? Past questions that first sounded harmful now took on another meaning. Was he planning to tour NY & hoped to have a liaison there? Was he merely holding back until he felt that I was used to receiving his emails & he felt comfortable to inform me also about his problem with his wife? Which is no concern or business of mine. As we say in the States, "We're done". Men who claim that their wives aren't meeting their needs have other alternatives besides trolling the internet looking for susceptible women who aren't in a relationship. In the past people have told me that I have a suspicious mind & I'm glad that I do. No doubt there are women who fall for the line about the wife & live to regret it. I know better than to give my telephone number or street address to strangers. This episode has given me a reason to be more vigilant next time a "gentleman" comes calling via the internet. Have anyone had a similar experience? PM Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 There are 3 types of non asexual men online: men looking for offline sex, men looking for emotional online support only and men REALLY looking for a relationship. Well most men online or either looking for sex or a woman like me and you for emotional online support only. My advice to women if you're looking for romance meet an online man offline as soon as possible if not the man is just a penpal and talking to many women. I've been there and done that with a lot of online men(NO SEX) and i'm tired of the same record. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Fosco Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Urm, truthful I can say, No, I haven't had a similar experience. I'm not quite sure how I would feel about getting any sort of email like that. All I can say is that most people these days lack common sense, manners and etiquette. I hope your feeling OK? Link to post Share on other sites
jcortese Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I've had a vaguely similar experience but not via the net. A fellow at work who was actually quite fun to talk to -- very intelligent, engaged with the world, a hell of a great conversationalist. I knew he was married so I figured things were fine, and we'd have lunch from time to time and ramble on about politics and philosophy and every damned thing under the sun. It wasn't until at least a year later that I realized that he was very, very interested -- and that he felt very, very bad about it. It's quite lucky for him that I was asexual, or else I could have fucked his life up seriously. I wouldn't say he was a bad guy -- he was REALLY fantastic to yammer on with, and in hindsight, it's obvious he he felt bad about being interested. Hell, everything is obvious in hindsight. That's about the extent of it, though. Wherever he is, I wish him well at least. *shrug* Link to post Share on other sites
PatricioINTP Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 My advice to women if you're looking for romance meet an online man offline as soon as possible if not the man is just a penpal and talking to many women. Is that why I am having so little success in finding a mate online? I like to do the get-to-knows done before meeting. Less awkward and less of a blind date. At the risk of hijacking this topic, guess what I should be asking is, how long till you give up when talking to someone online? I thought weeding out the good and bad is just part of the online dating process before meeting. Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 My advice to women if you're looking for romance meet an online man offline as soon as possible if not the man is just a penpal and talking to many women. Is that why I am having so little success in finding a mate online? I like to do the get-to-knows done before meeting. Less awkward and less of a blind date. At the risk of hijacking this topic, guess what I should be asking is, how long till you give up when talking to someone online? I thought weeding out the good and bad is just part of the online dating process before meeting. I think the problem with meeting men online,Most online men wants sex or is talking to other women until they get sex. A woman should meet a online man offline as soon as possible to see if this man is after sex only or really wants a real relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
PurpleMs Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 Urm, truthful I can say, No, I haven't had a similar experience. I'm not quite sure how I would feel about getting any sort of email like that.All I can say is that most people these days lack common sense, manners and etiquette. I hope your feeling OK? Yes, I'm fine thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
PurpleMs Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 There are 3 types of non asexual men online: men looking for offline sex, men looking for emotional online support only and men REALLY looking for a relationship. Well most men online or either looking for sex or a woman like me and you for emotional online support only. My advice to women if you're looking for romance meet an online man offline as soon as possible if not the man is just a penpal and talking to many women. I've been there and done that with a lot of online men(NO SEX) and i'm tired of the same record. I'm beginning to think that men are tiring in general. I feel all the good ones are already married. Also maybe a few good ones are gay and not interested in women. At this point I just can't figure out the male sex. Meeting men as soon as possible is good advice, at least you can cut the foolishness off fast. Link to post Share on other sites
PurpleMs Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 I've had a vaguely similar experience but not via the net. A fellow at work who was actually quite fun to talk to -- very intelligent, engaged with the world, a hell of a great conversationalist. I knew he was married so I figured things were fine, and we'd have lunch from time to time and ramble on about politics and philosophy and every damned thing under the sun.It wasn't until at least a year later that I realized that he was very, very interested -- and that he felt very, very bad about it. It's quite lucky for him that I was asexual, or else I could have fucked his life up seriously. I wouldn't say he was a bad guy -- he was REALLY fantastic to yammer on with, and in hindsight, it's obvious he he felt bad about being interested. Hell, everything is obvious in hindsight. That's about the extent of it, though. Wherever he is, I wish him well at least. *shrug* Years ago when I first started working, there was a male co-worker who used to talk to me everyday. He wasn't my type, but I figured there was no harm. Silly me, I thought he just wanted conversation. I don't believe he was married. However, he turned into a pest when he told me that he had chosen a concert to take me to (without first asking me!). I could not get rid of him without telling my supervisor! He would not take "no" for an answer. Link to post Share on other sites
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