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Have you experienced depersonalization?


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Depersonalization?  

  1. 1. Have you experienced depersonalization?

    • Yes, non-drug/stimulant induced.
      145
    • Yes, drug/stimulant induced.
      19
    • No, never.
      55

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From time to time I have experienced feelings of depersonalization probably as a result of periodic depression. You can read more about this condition here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization

This feeling goes away on its own after a while and I'm aware of it while it happens. You kind of feel light-headed and you feel like you are inhabiting a "game piece" or puppet. It is very strange. You have the sense that life is some kind of game or an illusion that you are part of. It reminds me of an old Twilight Zone episode where someone is going through their normal daily routine and suddenly they hear someone yell "Cut!" They then find out that they are just playing a role in a movie.

I think this is a result of my being overstressed - a coping mechanism where my consciousness takes a "time out" from everything going on around it. You never lose control of yourself. It's just a change in your perception. It's a little disturbing but not unpleasant. Anyway, I was wondering whether other AVENites had experienced this sensation.

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Yes. All. The. Time.

However with me it's a disorder unto itself, it's not co-morbid with anything.

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I have. However, now that I think about it maybe I should have voted differently, because it often happens when I have a hangover, ergo alcohol induced. But it never happens when I'm drunk.

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I used to get it constantly. It turned out to be a lethal combination of social anxiety, and a bad diet. I also get it every time I have alcohol and one time I had a large amount of cannabis.

There were also certain triggers, which were usually related to social anxiety. It happened basically every time I went out. Not so much any more unless I drink.

btw, it's mainly stopped happening through the cutting of a lot of sugar from my diet. Doing so may benefit others too?

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When I had depression as a teenager, it would happen sometimes. I can't describe how it felt. It was very bizarre. It was like, I don't know, I was in a dream, woke up for a second, saw the "real" world, which was horrifying and distorted, and then went back to "sleep."

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That happened to me a couple weeks ago when the doctor put me on Levaquin for a UTI. It made my Deaf World Discourse class hard to follow.

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All the time unfortunately. It's mainly depression-related, and I've had episodes of it for years, but it never disturbs me any less. I see it as a sort of extreme form of the numbness that depression causes - the usual numbness makes me feel inert, incapable of feeling/reacting, but 'depersonalisation' (never knew it had a name) is more like feeling incapable of being real. I have strange periods where I feel like I'm made of plastic and clockwork, programmed to behave in certain ways.

I have something vaguely close to a physical version of it as well because of my appalling spatial awareness, where the perception part of my brain screws up and I feel like everything's huge and miles away, and I'm tiny, lost and not really anywhere. It's almost impossible to explain, but it's a very, very weird (and horrible) sensation, because it's more physical than psychological - I don't feel emotionally lost/tiny/insignificant, I feel physically like the proportions of the physical world have shifted, and everything's miles away. The only thing that alleviates it even slightly is sleeping on my side (it usually strikes at night) pressed up against the wall, to give myself a physical reference point.

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.

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I've experienced it a couple of times, but fortunately not very often. A couple of years ago I went through a period in which I couldn't for the life of me figure out how I was supposed to "exist" in the world. I would sit alone on my bed for hours at a time and feel like I was trapped in the wrong place or the wrong time. I felt like I had switched places with someone else and needed to find a way back to my own existence. When that happened, I would usually need to hurt myself somehow, and the physical pain would remind me that I was in fact existing in my rightful body. The whole experience was very strange and a bit frightening. :blink:

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  • 5 months later...

K - I'm a newbie and was just lurking around (for about 2 hrs now) getting more and more interested. Then I read your post on depersonalization (Thank You!). So now I've had to join. Make that "have taken the opportunity" to join.

I'm really flummoxed! I now have a name for the orientation and know what the disassociated feeling is. I'm laughing with amazement and relief. Ain't it great when you not only have a name to put to the (problem? experience?) but to also find out you're not alone! Wow!

Thanks! Please to meetcha! :blush:

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potentialsurvivor
I'm really flummoxed! I now have a name for the orientation and know what the disassociated feeling is. I'm laughing with amazement and relief. Ain't it great when you not only have a name to put to the (problem? experience?) but to also find out you're not alone! Wow!

As long as you empower, and seek to work with the knowledge you've gained, and not limit your experiences based on it, you'll be super. Welcome by the way :cake:

In other news... it seems as though there are tonnes of triggers for this condition, including mine, the most prime example being stimulation brought on by sleep deprivation (the last 4 days of a 5 day field exercise in the military). After day 3, I had basically left my body completely, as has been mentioned, no doubt due to emotional stress brought on by the constant rain, gunfire and simulated explosions and gas attacks and whatnot... it was quite entertaining at times, imagining that I was watching myself sleep while I was actually imagining that I was watching myself digging a trench... sort of a hallucination of watching yourself hallucinate while remaining productive somehow. I don't think I've ever experienced this as a result of depression or drugs though, or on a much longer timeline as some others have sadly experienced.

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supergeekgirl

I have severe anxiety and often get it during panic attacks, when I'm about to have a panic attack (like an aura before a migraine), when I'm sleep-deprived, or sometimes for no reason at all. Most often it's before a panic attack, and I feel like I don't know who or where I am or that the world is somehow thin right where I'm sitting.

The weirdest one is where I'll look over at my husband whom I've known for over four years and wonder for a split second who he is. I've also experienced catatonia associated with sleep deprivation. I don't drink or use drugs, but I slept so little because of anxiety my first year on college that I often "slept" with my eyes open in the student lounge on our floor. I would be working on something and slowly "space out" to where I could sense the room around me just barely. Yeah, they all thought I was on drugs. :) Not fun, but I'm glad I'm not such an insomniac anymore.

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BlueSandshrew

That strange feeling of not being all-there happens to me all the time. I just never knew what it was called before.

It used to happen to me all the time when I was a little kid (it happens to me now, but not as bad). It would get so bad that I would constantly wander around and not act myself, because I was never sure if I was "really there", or just experiencing a really realistic dream.

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I did say 'yes' and sometimes it happens just on its own for about half a day or so but also, I have epilepsy and it gets worse when I forget or get lazy with my meds.

So, I guess that would amount to drug induced because it's the LACK of the drug in me that causes it. But it's not always epilepsy related either.

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It happens to me every now and again. When it happens, it feels like my mind is a little ball trapped in my head, watching this big clunking thing (my body) moving around and interacting with the world around it. Watching through the eyes, but it's as if they're windows rather than eyes.

It's never been drug, alcohol, depression or stress-induced - it just happens. A very odd feeling, and neither pleasant or unpleasant.

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metalgirl2045

I've had that too, always wanted to know what the name was! I have no idea what triggered it, I used to get it on a regular basis but not for years now. The only times it freaked me out was the first time, and one rather extreme incident lasting a day or so when I had severe jetlag (17 hours sleep fixed it, but most other incidents were when I wasn't tired).

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... it feels like my mind is a little ball trapped in my head, watching this big clunking thing (my body) moving around and interacting with the world around it. Watching through the eyes, but it's as if they're windows rather than eyes.

That's what happens most often to me. It's kind lf like being in the control room behind the eye openings of a huge robot. Just kind of along for the ride.

Then there's the kind that happens usually when I'm sick or injured. Then everything s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-s out. Across the room becomes about 50 feet away and the conversations are too. It feels sort of like looking at the world through a fish-eye lens. That one's uncomfortable.

Supergeekgirl - The catatonia and the rest of that sounds really unusual. Have you ever had a Sleep Study done?

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There's a book on DPD called, um, oh yeah: Feeling Unreal: Depersonalization and the Loss of the Self.

The weirdest thing for me is talking, and then suddenly hearing my own voice. It sounds like an echo, like it's coming from a great distance not my mouth.

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Yes. Frequently. In fact, I don't think I can remember a day when I've not spent at least half an hour like it. Sometimes it's worse than others, or will last longer, but I'm like it to some extent for most of the time.

I was under the impression that everyone felt like it at some point though. It being a regular thing is comparatively unusual, but it's a perfectly natural reaction to various stresses.

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Can't give an answer, as I've experienced both drug induced and non-drug induced depersonalisation.

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Yes, it happened to me frequently when I had depression 2 or 3 years ago. I also had insomnia pretty bad and was sleep-deprived a lot.

It would only last an hour or so at the most though. Living like that all day every day would be pretty crap.

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Am I the only one that actually kind of enjoys the sensation? :redface: Maybe it's just my bohemian side coming through and drawing from the experience for artistic inspiration. Or maybe I'm just weird ;)

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Thanks for the book reference, [non-gender specific honorific] Fish. I'll see if my local library has it.

I'm kind of like LonePiper in that I kind of enjoy it when it happens. I'm not sure I'd like it if it went on indefinitely. That might feel like being stuck on a carnival ride or spaceship without being able to explore the ship. Hmmm. That sounds kind of lame, but I'm not sure how to express it better. :huh:

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It has come to my attention that yes I have DPD..I've had it since childhood I just never knew that there was an actual name for it.

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The weirdest thing for me is talking, and then suddenly hearing my own voice. It sounds like an echo, like it's coming from a great distance not my mouth.

Oooh... ya, I have big problems with that and it's so distracting that I start listening to myself and completely lose track of what I'm saying.

Ya... so I pretty much feel no connection with my body, other than the pain I feel from it and I'm ultimately dismayed at the amount of space it takes up. I feel more connected with how my body moves and such when I'm playing violin, though. Depersonalization is probably what does keep me from being much better at.

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The weirdest thing for me is talking, and then suddenly hearing my own voice. It sounds like an echo, like it's coming from a great distance not my mouth.
I forgot about this! Except to me, it feels like everything is muffled by my skull. Y'know, with the whole 'trapped in there' thing? I find it very distracting and a bit disconcerting.
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I think I sometimes used to get a sort of this. I think it was while I was on antidepressants, though I may have had it before that as well. I called it hovering, because I didn't feel really here, or really there. I wrote a poem on it once...

I am hovering, between this world and some other.

I know this is not the real world, though the raindrops try to tell me otherwise.

The grey of the sky reflects the grey I feel inside.

Pathetic fallacy, they call it, though it’s a good argument for me.

My feet don’t touch the floor, however much I tell them to.

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