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pure_orange

Why do people want to hold hands?

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cait

I'm very monogamous about hand-holding. But I do enjoy holding hands, yes. It's kind of like communicating when you're not speaking. And it's really comforting and you don't have to look at the person and you can have your eyes closed, but it's like you are still seeing them. It's a comfort thing I guess. It's a signal saying "hey, I am right beside you". You know, like in case I was afraid other people were only a part of my imagination. And boy hands are warm. And also it feels kind of like electricity is passing between you or something. And I get to analyze people's palms and fingertips. And I like how skin feels. Hand holding just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, okay?

And I'm a really unaffectionate person!

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Shinai

Hmm...holding hands...I never really thought about it before.

I do love holding the hand of my beloved, as well as almost any non-sexual physical contact and intimacy(but only with that one person, no one else, I despise anything like that involving someone other than my beloved). Well, thinking from a logical and physical viewpoint, physical contact with someone releases oxytocin for emotional bonding.

From an emotional viewpoint, I love holding her hand because it gives a sense of closeness and that I am protecting her(as much as I trust her I know there is not much she could do to protect me).

Holding hands helps us both to guide eachother and let eachother know certain things as well. For example, if there is something that she is doing or saying that is bothering me then I must only squeeze her hand slightly and she will usually know something is wrong and talk to me away from other people.

Also, if we are holding hands I will always know when she wants to hug me. We hug very often, and if one of us lets go of the others hand abruptly it is usually because we want to hug.

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Guest Bicinga

I like holding hands. I feel my partner. And my hands never go sweaty.

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AntiBubble
That and I'm always, always cold. And other people's hands are warm. It's like bringing along a radiator, except just for my hand.

That cracked me up :lol:

I do the same thing...especially when I forget my gloves ;)

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mdw

For me it's security and comfort, knowing she's right there, and that we aren't going to be seperated. We hold hands constantly and when we can't we both seem to be reaching for the other's hand.

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KAGU143

I don't normally "hold" hands (like when walking or sitting next to someone) but I will sometimes touch and examine the hands of people I care about. I find the structure of hands to be fascinating and I used to read palms long, long ago.

I don't keep up the examination for very long - maybe a minute or so.

If I'm cold, I'm more likely to temporarily tuck my hand under my partner's arm if I'm feeling cuddly. That way he still has his hands free and I can easily pull free if I need to do something.

Otherwise, my own arm works just as well. I often tuck my hands inside the opposite sleeves ... kind of like a low-budget straitjacket.

-GB.

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AVENCakes

http://licd.com/comic/20060124

Showing who the alpha male is, anyone? :D

beyond that- I dunno. I wouldn't like it, because I like having my hands free to stick in my pocket and pick at my fingernails and stuff. I don't like holding things in general. ^^;

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Ellers

Unless someone is insecure I doubt they just hold hands around other people to be the "dominant alpha male". Something about hand holding is intimate enough to say, we're a couple or connected in some way...and yes there have been times I've had unwanted advances and holding my husbands hand is a subtle way to say I'm taken without having to go into an explanation about it. People like to know who's in a relationship with whom, and who is single etc so they don't offend people or get rejected by persuing someone who is single or uninterested.

I hold hands with my husband frequently in public, but I also do just as much when no one around. Our hands don't get sweaty but they don't get sweaty doing other things either so I think that's just an individual trait(I have a friend who when we play rock band always soaks the drumsticks with his sweaty hands)

As far as not being able to use your hands if you want to...perhaps I'm different, but it's really easy to let go of holding hands. It's like an unconscious thing almost, and very easy to indicate you want to use your hand. It might just take a little practice with a new partner if they're holding on too long I suppose.

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Goonie

holding hands for me rarely if never happens in public..and not at all int he last 5 years that I remember. There is something natural about it when my current boyfriend holds my hand. I don't know quite why. I guess I should think about it more.

Anyway, if it's with the right person, it makes me happy and smile. It's like a little constant reminder that "hey I'm here...you don't have to do things alone." Most of the time it isn't palm to palm. It's more like one covering the top of the other.

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Brienne

Studies show non-sexual physical contact is very important psychologically. it makes you feel psychologically more connected to the person. and it can do wonders when you are upset about something, to be able to have someone there with you, even if you're too upset to talk about it.

As for romantic hand holding, I guess some people like it, I don't mind, but its kind of annoying when I see people doing it in public. I think a lot of those couples aren't holding hands because they're totally into each other, but more to be like "haha, I'm better than you cause I'm getting some." Its not fair to a person whose lonely and single to have to see that every day. But its better than people who make out in public. :wacko:

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CierraJo

So you don't lose each other in a crowd!! Duh!!! :D

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PrairieGhost

Hand-holding never really felt natural for me until my current boyfriend came into my life. When I met him, it just came so naturally to tuck my hand into his and feel that connection between us. Always before it felt awkward and clumsy--like someone said earlier, like walking with one shoe off--but when Civa and I hold hands it's more like I'm just connected to another part of myself. I love holding hands with him, even if it's just a brief grasp, as if to say, "Ah, there you are, here I am, I love you. Now I'm letting go so we can navigate through this crowded room".

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Pinaceae
I really don't like it because it makes your hands all sweaty and I like controlling me own hands.

It's not like someone would be in "control" of your hands.... and they only get sweaty if you are nervous. They don't always hold hands.

(different account because of bad password/username remembering problems :/ ) It's not my fault the person in question has clammy hands D:. I don't get nervous, strangely, and my hands are dry most of the time. I don't like them wet >__<

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tbird_energizerbunny

Oh my goodness. This is exactly down my street of thought.

I will recommend a book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It's a Christian-based book geared primarily for marriage, but if you can get the thought into your head that this book can apply to ALL relationships, then the last love language really means a lot.

Basically, the book states that there are 5 different love languages, the last of all is touch. Some people recieve touch as a sign of the other person saying "I love you" to them. All touches by these people are seen as a word of love. (Imagine for a minute, the disaterous effect of physical abuse towards these kinds of people!)

Anyways...hand holding can be seen as a token of love for some people. I see it as one. It's just a way for me to hear from someone else "I love you" or "I care about you" and "You mean a lot to me". I mean, if someone is willing to hold my hand, there's the rush of ephoria, the reception of their love that just goes through me, it's a beautiful thing. I can hardly understand it. I was physcially abused as a child and as a teen, and for the longest time, I connected touch with pain. Until recently, I've never understood touch...and then I met somebody who's hand I reached out for. The coolest feeling ever is when they touch me...by their own initiation. It is amazing. So why do people hold hands, or touch for that matter, desire to be touched? Because for some people it's the way that they recieve love and understand love.

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cijay
I really don't like it because it makes your hands all sweaty and I like controlling me own hands.

I was just wondering if someone could please tell me the thrill of it all

(or send me to an already made topic about this)

Thankyou.

I agree that there's a time and a place for it. Partly it's because I get lost easily in crowds and I do like the feeling of it. What DOES bug me about people holding hands is when they WON'T let go! They're totally unwilling to walk single file in crowded areas or move out of the way so people can get by them.

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JustJudy

I think holding hands after the age of maybe 6-7 is stupid. I do not need my hand held I can take care of myself thank you very much.

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tbird_energizerbunny
I think holding hands after the age of maybe 6-7 is stupid. I do not need my hand held I can take care of myself thank you very much.

:lol: Fair enough. Some people just enjoy it. I mean, it's just who they are. It's not a dependancy thing, it's a want thing. When I touch my best friend's hand, or hold it, to her, I'm saying "I don't have to be with you, I'm here because I want you in my life."

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brontide

Interesting answers...

I still can't imagine wanting to hold hands with anyone, though. No matter how many people explain to me why they want to hold hands, hug, etc. I can never really understand it.

But, each to their own.

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naelNY

when i visit my mom, i love holding her hands while i talk with her.

feel the love.

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happylife

I do love holding hands. When holding hands with someone, I feel secure and comfortable. And one's hand is like to me their body and soul if I know clearly that it's just small part of their whole body. I love the sense of "being connected" that I get from holding somebody's hand.

Sweats. I don't hate the sweat on the hands unless the person that the hands belong to is repulsive to me. Some years ago, a very shy guy who was my date that day grabbed my hand. And our hands got wet with sweat. Although I was a little bit uncomfortable about the situation, I found the boy very cute and got to love him more.

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JustJudy

I dated a man years ago and we'd go out to a nice restaurant and he always wanted to hold my hand across the table (he wanted to sit next to me but I made him sit across from me) I thought it was so dumb and believed the main reason he wanted to do that was to make sure everyone knew "I was his", I got rid of him pretty quickly. I did have one relationship where the man and I would hook our baby fingers together while driving or just talking and I liked that, guess I'm more of a 1 finger holder than a hand holder.

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Blueflare

I don't like holding hands while walking, it's just impractical and awkward and annoying, but it can be okay for brief peiods in some circumtances, to show affection. Though I am really bad with affection, I always think too much about it and opportunities for spontaneous affection pass before I do anything lol.

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Orren

I don't like holding hands with anyone in any circumstance. I just don't really get anything out of it. I don't like physical contact much and hand holding is very sweaty, too warm and it's just a generally displeasing feeling to me.

I never really remember liking it, when I was young and having to hold my mother's hand while crossing the street up to now holding my sister's hand when crossing the street. Nothing changed.

lol I'm so affectionate...

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Forensic

I hold hands with friends if I fear losing them. Otherwise? Meh, unless my hands are freezing, just don't touch me.

I'd rather lay with my head in someone's lap (my extent of 'cuddling') than hold hands on a sofa or something. Why would you? They're right there, are they going to run away?

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happylife

message deleted. sorry.. :blush:

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Guest the_random_squirrel
I like holding hands because it shows my respect and affection towards someone.

Physical touch to me is reserved to only those people that I like and respect.

agreed.

And it's really comforting and you don't have to look at the person and you can have your eyes closed, but it's like you are still seeing them. It's a comfort thing I guess.

and agreed. its definitely a comfort thing. when i was upset and crying the day before yesterday i went to see my friend and we sat and she held my hand and it was...nice. just knowing that she was there and willing to take care of me.

for me just that little sign of affection from someone makes me smile with affection for them.

I'm just a big softy at heart ;)

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Kirkkitsch

For me, personally, I guess I like the closeness of it. It's a simple way of 'connecting' with someone whom you like, without saying anything. Of course, nothing is written in stone. I can understand how some people may find it uncomfortable (i.e. hot, sweaty palms, etc.) and/or confining. I put holding hands in the same category as putting your arm around someone, sitting next to someone or resting your hand on their leg. It's all good, but like anything, it all boils down to both people's comfort level.

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In_Omnia_Paratus

I don't like extensive hand holding because yeah, you're hand gets all sweaty >.<

but like a quick hand squeeze like hey how are yeah, or if you're in a sad situation like a its gunna be ok quick hand squeeze. but other than that

ickie :P

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ThePieMaker

I like holding hands. It gives me warm fuzzies and makes me smile a lot. It's simple and cute.

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BunnyK.

I usually fall asleep holding hands with my boyfriend - we used to cuddle up close together, but he's a freaking radiator at night and makes us both too hot to stand it. So, we like to hold hands just to be touching each other as we drift off.

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