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pure_orange

Why do people want to hold hands?

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pure_orange

I really don't like it because it makes your hands all sweaty and I like controlling me own hands.

I was just wondering if someone could please tell me the thrill of it all

(or send me to an already made topic about this)

Thankyou.

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Placebo

I dunno, I like most forms of tactile contact--I like feeling the body warmth of the other person, and it makes me feel closer to them; also touching people is almost like a physical need for me (which is one of the ways that I mentally try and relate my own feelings to understanding sexuals' desire. ;) ). Apparently touch releases oxytocin, a hormone responsible for emotional bonding. I can definitely feel the effects of oxytocin withdrawl. :lol: Oftentimes I'm not holding hands though, I have my arm around someone's shoulders, or linked, or I just poke them or touch them casually.

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Wolf X Omega

I'd Take cuddling over holding hands anyday, especially on a cold day

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pure_orange

Thank you very much for answering :)

It has helped me a lot.

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jr1

It's ingrained in culture for couples to hold hands. Pavlovian dogs and such

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emmarainbow

Nah, I've never really liked holding hands much either. But i suppose that it feels safe - either protected or protecting... it's ok under certain circumstances.

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User Name

In addition to what's already been said, I personally find it very comforting. Cuddling wins out any day of the week though.

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Ice Faerie

It's my way of saying, "There, you may, not only get into my bubble, but actually touch my hand for extended lengths of time! That's because I love you, and allowing you to cross my boundaries and have the option of suggesting a direction by using my hand as I'm walking is my way of showing it."

That and I'm always, always cold. And other people's hands are warm. It's like bringing along a radiator, except just for my hand.

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Moxed

I like hand holding because it gives a physical sense to having someone there. Almost like an extended handshake--"Hi, it was nice to meet you, better to get to know you, and now I'm not letting go."

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Mad Larkin

I like holding hands and cuddling etc with a partner, i think i like it because it confirms the bond between me and my partner as i will not hold hands or cuddle with someone i have no feelings for

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headphase

for comfort reasons I guess

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Hayley

For whatever reason hand holding makes me feel closer to another person.

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bbctv

i can't explain why, but i feel comforted by holding hands with someone i'm close to. i really like hugs too, and i really like hair tussling too. (wouldn't mind a kiss on the cheek now and then but that's happened quite infrequently, and very long ago...)

different people have different longings or reservations about touch. i'm picky about who i can display towards or receive affection from. i once panicked very badly and nearly cried when some girl i wasn't sure i was comfortable with kissed me.

i'm hoping i can find someone i can be close to and get some affection from. i'm using the term "cuddle buddy" a close friend but who is willing to offer some affection, i don't even care if they're with someone else as long as it's all understood, and i'm only looking for just an acknowledgment that though i don't want sex or necessarily even a relationship, i could still use some affection.

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reverse_thrust

Call me skeptical, but I think with some people it's a defensive reaction to imply "ownership." I have on countless occasions seen couples walking along who will hold hands only when someone else is nearby, as if to signal the other person to back off (usually the one who initiates the hand-holding is the same sex as the approaching individual).

It feels like a matter of insecurity in these situations. Granted, I would hope most people would hold hands for the sake of holding hands (not that I understand such actions), but this is possible too, I think.

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bydefault

I'll just leave it to the masters:

The Beatles - I Want To Hold Your Hand Lyrics

Oh yeah, I'll tell you something,

I think you'll understand.

When I'll say that something

I want to hold your hand,

I want to hold your hand,

I want to hold your hand.

Oh please, say to me

You'll let me be your man

And please, say to me

You'll let me hold your hand.

Now let me hold your hand,

I want to hold your hand.

And when I touch you I feel happy inside.

It's such a feeling that my love

I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide.

Yeah, you've got that something,

I think you'll understand.

When I'll say that something

I want to hold your hand,

I want to hold your hand,

I want to hold your hand.

And when I touch you I feel happy inside.

It's such a feeling that my love

I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide.

Yeh, you've got that something,

I think you'll understand.

When I'll feel that something

I want to hold your hand,

I want to hold your hand,

I want to hold your hand.

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Anti-stud

Not a HUGE fan of handholding (for the exact reasons mentioned above), but I don't mind it.

Funnily enough in many African cultures (which tend to be very homophobic), male friends often hold hands when walking in the street. It has always fascinated me.

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Placebo
Call me skeptical, but I think with some people it's a defensive reaction to imply "ownership." I have on countless occasions seen couples walking along who will hold hands only when someone else is nearby, as if to signal the other person to back off (usually the one who initiates the hand-holding is the same sex as the approaching individual).

It feels like a matter of insecurity in these situations. Granted, I would hope most people would hold hands for the sake of holding hands (not that I understand such actions), but this is possible too, I think.

Funny, I usually do the opposite--I'm kind of private and I don't like people to know about the extent of my affections, so I'm much more willing to hold hands if there's no one else around than if there are other people nearby, they make me feel uncomfortable.

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P3

Im write with you on that one.

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CrazyCatLover

I don't really get it, either. I pretty much only grab someone's hand if we're in the middle of a crowded rush. I suppose that could be a sign of not wanting to lose that person? But it really isn't, it's just that having to stop and find each other again would be time-consuming. I'm over-analyzing things again -- I'll stop now.

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Tangled trees

I never hold hands. I'm not disgusted by touch or anything, I just find it very impractical. It feels like walking with only one shoe on, plus it restricts use of one hand, which I dislike with a passion. I hate walking dogs on leashes too, for the same reason.

I tend to have the same problem when family or friends hug me -- it's nice as a greeting, but otherwise it's pretty much a bother, and I haven't yet found a way to politely tell someone that I'd rather they let me sit the way I like with both arms available so I can pet my kittens / grab my drink / write properly, and keep to their own seat. Are they afraid I might vanish all of a sudden if they don't grab me or what ? I'm not going anywhere :|

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vanilla black tea

i feel like holding hands is an expression of closeness, telling the world that the two indeed are couple.

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bearfoot

Well, I think I might be able to really answer for once.

I lovee holding hands.

Well, I'll try to explain.. yay examples.

It probably started when I was a kid. Like so many other kids if I was in a busy place or crossing the street, my parent would make me hold their hand, because they didn't want anything to happen to me.

Also if I was scared at the doctors office, they would always hold my hand, because it would give me something to grab on to, and to ease my anxiety

The next two I think everyone can understand.

If you are about to jump, or climb off of something, someone might extend their arm to guide your jump and so that you have some extra support.

Finally, I have seen a billion scenes where someone is holding on to the edge of a cliff or whatever and will probably die unless, someone grabs their hand and pulls them up. I am hoping that isn't something you can relate to but you have probably been laying down or stuck in a chair or whatever and couldn't get up, and someone held your hand and pulled you up.

Maybe it subconsciously triggers some happy memories?

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Luthece

wow that is a funny question, I dont even know if I like it *laughs* well I would say ppl may do it regarding possession because what you grab is what you "have" but also, palm reading let us know that the hand is a microcosmic view of the self

Also in my case I love crafting and working with my hands and my boyfriend loves crafting too and he draws, plays and all that so I see his hands as precious cos they express all that amazing creative spirit he got

but since my relationship is distance one, I can only see this after I meet him this april =P

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Shadow girl

Heck I don't let anyone get that idea.

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lastditchattempt
I really don't like it because it makes your hands all sweaty and I like controlling me own hands.

It's not like someone would be in "control" of your hands.... and they only get sweaty if you are nervous. They don't always hold hands.

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thewrll

I absolutely hate being touched and that includes hand holding because hours later I can still feel the imprint the hand left on me.

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Guest Fosco

I like holding hands because it shows my respect and affection towards someone.

Physical touch to me is reserved to only those people that I like and respect.

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BleedingThrough

I don't like holding hands with people. Sometimes I will with my dad or my grandmother but other than that no.

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John Bayko

Something interesting to think about - in western culture, most women can comfortably hold each others hands but two men typically can't hold hands for more than 10 seconds (unless challenged, of course, in which they will hold each others hand with brave determination for exactly 10.5 seconds). Probably homophobia. A friend of mine held my hand as we walked through the Home Depot parking lot, just to see the reactions (not much, really).

Other cultures are different, and ironically the more homophobic the culture, the easier it is for men to show affection to each other (satirized in the recent Borat movie). I think it's because homophobia brings about a certainty - the consequences of being homosexual are so severe that nobody who really is gay would ever dare show it, so any signs of affection must be non-sexual and acceptable.

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ratatosk_lemur
Other cultures are different, and ironically the more homophobic the culture, the easier it is for men to show affection to each other (satirized in the recent Borat movie). I think it's because homophobia brings about a certainty - the consequences of being homosexual are so severe that nobody who really is gay would ever dare show it, so any signs of affection must be non-sexual and acceptable.

I think this is generally true of similar things. Ie I've had friends who are atheists tell me it's easier to be an atheist in Nebraska (where virtually everyone is a very religious Protestant) than in somewhat more religiously diverse places, because if people don't expect the groups they object to to be around, they're much more likely to assume that people they see don't fit into those groups.

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