newgirl Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Is there any hope in the dating scene for asexual?The Word "hope" is becoming popular now a days but i'm starting to wonder is there hope for some things like asexual and dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Mad Larkin Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 i'd have to so yes there is hope,without hope what is the point to pursuing anything Link to post Share on other sites
curtis Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 hope - yes .. but finding someone in southern ontario, even with this site is a chore Link to post Share on other sites
Mad Larkin Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 sometimes you can find someone when you are not expecting it, i did Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Well, when women age, their "catchment area" gets smaller, and when men age, their catchment area gets larger (which is true for sexual women, of course, also). So there's less hope for older women than younger women, and being asexual doesn't help. However, I just figure it's not a matter of hope, but simply being open to whatever happens. Link to post Share on other sites
cijay Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Well, when women age, their "catchment area" gets smaller, and when men age, their catchment area gets larger (which is true for sexual women, of course, also). So there's less hope for older women than younger women, and being asexual doesn't help. However, I just figure it's not a matter of hope, but simply being open to whatever happens. Depends on the personality. I have a lot of friends who are just as 'catchable' now as they were 20 years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Ziffler Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 "Hope springs eternal..." Alexander Pope There is always hope as long as you draw breath. People meet and bond into their 80's and 90's, so there is always hope. Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 Well when i comes to men and dating, i have no hope.I am "force" to think and believe this way. where are men who love and live unconditionally. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 I'm afraid that sexuals just have great difficulty loving the way asexuals do -- sex is such a driving force for them. Unconditional love to them just doesn't include denying themselves that physical drive/outlet. As some posters said, we can have hope we can meet someone who can be a significant other -- but not expectations that a sexual can be that SO. Link to post Share on other sites
bydefault Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Don't know about elsewhere, but there seems to be absolutely no hope for asexual dating here in Seoul, South Korea. I can't even get a haircut without being offered "extra services". :roll: Still, I hope against hope that one day I'll find a Seoul-mate. 8) Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted January 18, 2008 Author Share Posted January 18, 2008 I don't see any hope in the dating scene PERIOD and i live in the USA(dating capitol).I'm "forced" to settle in life because my choices are to be single or date men who only want me sexually. I want a seriuos rrelationship,I want to date, have a boyfriend or have a husband but the some men in this world aren't interested in what i want in a relationship.When it comes to men, there is no hope in my eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
SuzH Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 There doesn't seem to be anyone here on the Oregon coast that I can connect with either. But I'll never lose hope. Having an exclusive relationship does not define who I am, although I'd like to have one. The guys down at the firehall wonder why I'm single, and one keeps giving me the eye. Being one of only 3 women in the department is showing me how well men & women can have non-sexual relationships. And our bond has to be strong because in an emergency we have only each other to rely on. That in itself is very rewarding and continues to give me hope. The more I am out there in the community, living a "normal" fulfilling life the more people understand me. Someone is going to realize that I'm quite a catch and be willing to have a non-sexual relationship with me. If we don't have dreams, if we don't have hope we have nothing. If you do not believe in yourself, no one else has any reason to believe in you either. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 I have to disagree with the general statement, "If you don't have hope, you don't have anything." You don't need to have hope for a specific thing (in this case, meeting a likely significant other) to have a satisfactory, meaningful life. Many sexual people have not met their mates either, or have had to separate from them, and they just live their lives anyway. We can still hope, but not catastophize our lives if we don't get what we want in the real world. but I know that's hard to swallow when you're fairly young. It's hard to swallow when you're NOT young, but you just swallow anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted January 18, 2008 Author Share Posted January 18, 2008 There doesn't seem to be anyone here on the Oregon coast that I can connect with either. But I'll never lose hope. Having an exclusive relationship does not define who I am, although I'd like to have one.The guys down at the firehall wonder why I'm single, and one keeps giving me the eye. Being one of only 3 women in the department is showing me how well men & women can have non-sexual relationships. And our bond has to be strong because in an emergency we have only each other to rely on. That in itself is very rewarding and continues to give me hope. The more I am out there in the community, living a "normal" fulfilling life the more people understand me. Someone is going to realize that I'm quite a catch and be willing to have a non-sexual relationship with me. If we don't have dreams, if we don't have hope we have nothing. If you do not believe in yourself, no one else has any reason to believe in you either. I believe in myself and done all the dreaming and hoping in the world but there comes a time when a person wants or needs to see results.I don't need a man or friends in my life but i least want to experience having these people in my life.I've done almost every social event by myself( no friends or boyfriend),I'm tired of doing things by myself.Everytime i socialize with people,My hope are lowered and I can't find people who related to me at least 50%. Link to post Share on other sites
SuzH Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 I do admit that I am the eternal optimist. I've found an alternative to channel that into. Right now being a firefighter is what does it for me. My emotional energies have an outlet, something that can also challenge me physicaly. And I'm never really alone, there is a whole crew. So, I really missed the point and apologize. Link to post Share on other sites
I_Luv_Pudding Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Don't apologize, Suze. I am a retired cop and got along as you describe, working with the men on shift and friendship was enough. Just don't let the years pass until you leave it, and then find yourself alone. I have changed and now keep my eyes open for either sex and someone who has the capacity to be a partner for the rest of it, family in a way. Why we are wired as we are is something I still ponder a bit, but not much. I'm happy being me, and I have done a lot in life. I'd just like to know what love really is before the clock stops. *eats some more pudding* DJ Link to post Share on other sites
P3 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I posted the very same dilema a while ago, but this is the place to be to restore your hope and faith. You can always beleive in fate if nothing else. We all ask that very same question at some point in our lives, mostly when ur down or alittle depressed. Im sure you will find someone who can bring joy into your life. Your heart will call to the right soul eventually. Blessed Be. Link to post Share on other sites
SummerSeeker Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I had lost hope at one point, but then I found this site, and I have hope again. Just knowing that there are others like me gives me hope. It's estimated that 1% of the population is asexual, that's alot of people. That's why I think it's imortant to get the word out, I'm sure many asexuals out there don't know about us and think they are alone (like I did). Many couples on this site met each other here. Curtis - I'm in southern Ontario as well, and I know it's hard to meet people here. Feel free to pm me if you like. Link to post Share on other sites
lux Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 The only thing I have is hope and faith to find a person,my soul mate.I think that somehow,I'll meet her. Link to post Share on other sites
Tanwen Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Hope is the thing with feathersThat perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all, And sweetest in the gale is heard; And sore must be the storm That could abash the little bird That kept so many warm. I've heard it in the chilliest land And on the strangest sea; Yet, never, in extremity, It asked a crumb of me. Emily Dickinson - my favourite poet and so far ahead of her time. Link to post Share on other sites
SuzH Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 There are so many things in our lives that we have no control over. Hope is not one of them. Catch that last glimmer and make it you own again. Link to post Share on other sites
pinkfizzie Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 I do not want to wait till I am 90 to find someone special. But the chances of my prince appearing at the door are nil. I go out, not really dates. I have even gone to singles dances to no avail. i truly think it is more difficult to find asexual men then win the lottey lol I never can get thta asexual dating site to work. It is odd that even though I am asexual I still need to be attracted to someone for me to have interest? Hope springs eternal is my favorite quote. So true. Maybe the easter bunny can bring me someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Pentachromacy Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment. Link to post Share on other sites
Angelica Soprano Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Depends if one's cup is half full or empty. I think there's zillions of us about, but they're all telling fibs! Link to post Share on other sites
rosalie Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 There is hope, most definitely. ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
bydefault Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 ^^^^^^^^^^^ Agreed. I had almost lost hope myself. Now, all of a sudden, my life has finally turned upside down for the better. Link to post Share on other sites
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