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Asexual Pride


AVENguy

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This is a spinoff thread from the t-shirt discussion. Everyone swing by and vote for what they want on the shirt (you'll have to scroll down a bit to see the options, sorry.)

So I've been thinking alot about combining queer-style pride with asexuality and while it definitely fits somewhat it also seems a little out of place. Here's my thinking (I'm curious for everyone's reaction.) The Pride movement is a direct reaction to GLBT folk being called shameful. When the world saw them it said "aren't you ashamed of yourself", so they came back and said "no, we're proud," which was/is dynamic and powerful. The thing is that we asexuals aren't being told that we're shameful (at least not nearly as much or as forcefully.) We're being what I like to call "virginized," told that we're incomplete, underdeveloped and ignorant of ourselves. People don't expect us to feel ashamed, they expect us to feel uncomfortable and repressed. They don't think we're sickly disturbed, just in denial. The more we make our asexuality into a big deal the easier it will be for people to write it off as some delusion that we're defending. If people are going to accuse us of being in denial about our sexuality we can't disprove them by emphasizing how proud we are of it. In order to demonstrate that we're legit we have to calmly show them that, despite their expectations we're happy, un-repressed and perfectly comfortable just the way we are. People don't need to hear that we're proud of our asexuality, they need to hear that we're comfortable with it.

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very good point. i like to consider myself comfortbale & proud, though. but then again, that's just me.

people like to tell me that i'm too young to be asexual, & that i should just settle down w/ someone & start a family already, or that i'm just going through a phase. asexuality is NOT a phase. it falls under the category of orientation/preference.

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Guest Anonymous

I'm not saying that pride is a bad thing to feel, just that it might be a bad PR to overemphasize.

.... so you're too young to be asexual but old enough to start a family. Explain THAT one...

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Asexuality has not been studied enough I think. For all we know it coudl be a PHASE for SOME. For example your sex drive has not yet arrived. COuld be permanent. Maybe u will get your sex drive at 50 or never heh u never know but for the moment u and me don't got it.

Alex

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VivreEstEsperer

My therapist kept telling me that I would almost certainly develop a sex drive when I got older when I went to see her on Thursday and told her about this...but more about that later. I'm still trying to puzzle that one over in my head and I'm franky too dead tired to think about it anymore now! Let's see... I have no thoughts about asexual pride at the moment cus I'm too tired and DJ anyway we had that lengthy convo about it- but I think visibility is a good and necessary thing.

Kate

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yeah, apparently 15 is a ripe old age to start having kids. my family's screwed up. & what's even more fucked up is that they think they're being funny about it.

i'm proud of who i am. hell, i'd only change a few things about myself (the depression thing...), but i realize that those things make me who i am as well. as for my lifestyle, i wouldn't change being asexual for anything. cause frankly, who the hell would i be if i did?! probably another one of the overly sexually active kens & barbies running miami... i'd drown myself...

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", who the hell would i be if i did?! probably another one of the overly sexually active kens & barbies running miami... i'd drown myself..."

*LOL* Although I've always felt like that myself, I've never been able to put it into words like you've just done :D

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Blah. I don't want to imagine myself as a Barbie-person, it's really a terrible thought.

Pride... I found AVENguy's paragraph interesting. Actually, I don't think I'm terribly proud to be asexual. It's not something that I did or have control over so it's not like I can take credit for it or anything. On a similar note, I'm not ashamed of it either.

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This is an interesting thread.

I think I'm with Nemesis. I'm certainly not ashamed of being asexual, but I can't say that it's something that I get too excited about either. Frankly, life would be a lot more straightforward if I was sexual like everybody else. It's just the way I am and I've grown used to it.

Unlike homosexuality, asexuality isn't really stereotyped by society in a negative way so the biggest challenge we face is an ignorance on the part of most people about asexuals and asexuality. To me, making people aware that we exist and making them understand that we are who we are (and that we're perfectly comfortable with that) is the most important thing.

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people can be really stupid. if i tell someone that i'm asexual, they either take that to mean that i'm bisexual or that i'm a hermaphrodite. i get so fed up w/ those idiots that i either scream a slew of insults & curse words (in both languages) at them, scoff at them & walk away, or slap them.

i can't stand ignorant people.

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Yeah, I get that too. The old "wanna do it?" "I'm asexual", "Oh, so you do." thing. Yeah, that really happened to me, more than once. I say we all go on Ophra.

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yeah, like oprah would understand it. i say we talk to & kick the crap out of martha stewart!!!

sorry. i'm cranky.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Today the assumption is that if you are in a long term, life long relationship that therefore you are identified as being straight or gay according to the sex of your chosen partner. Relationships can be very deep and profound and loving and sexless for lots of reasons.

I identified my sexual orientation as gay from the earliest age; I look at and admire male beauty. It has taken much time and effort for me to appreciate my

personal asexuality and realise it is a

positive path I have woken up to and it has sorted out and "grounded" me in

so many different ways.

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