Where do you fall? (asexual/greysexual poll)

[Peaseblossom o7]

I'm curious so I made this poll

[bare_trees]

I chose "other" for the first question because I'm married.  I had a hard time deciding between sex averse and sex neutral because I can do sexual activity with my partner, but honestly?  If I had go the rest of my life without ever having partnered sex again, I'd be fine.  It's generally not appealing to me.  Maybe I'm overthinking that.

[everywhere and nowhere]

16 minutes ago, bare_trees said:

I chose "other" for the first question because I'm married.

So my own explanation too... I chose "other" for the kissing question because I just don't know, I have never had a kiss other than of the "familial" kind. But I think that I probably wouldn't like kissing because I'm generally rather touch-averse and not looking for a partner anymore. I accepted that I just don't know how to form relationships, decided that I'm too introverted for dating, and that ultimately, I don't need more than the "nonpersonal love" I feel - my love for interests, ideas, phenomena, the general passionate reaction to the world and its infinity of interesting topics...

[Peaseblossom o7]

It's perfectly ok to put other   this isn't a very deep poll so it doesn't really capture the nuances of the question as fully as it could

[u.amaya]

I also chose "other" for a couple of questions. I'll elaborate:

 

Sex: I've never had it, so I don't know if I'd enjoy it or if I'd be repulsed by it. The only thing I know is that I don't particularly desire it.

Sensuality: same here. I've never had the chance to be sensual with anyone, so I don't know how I would feel about it.

[Guest]

I thought this was a really good poll, A few things could have been written a little clearer though...

I think I understood the gender question correctly, like it's about how we resonate with our own experience of our gender right?

Also was the nudity one multiple choice? I would say I'm nudity positive maybe but didn't see that option.

[Peaseblossom o7]

Yeah, I'd make a terrible writer, because I can suck at wording things. I don't even know how to fix it...

[Guest]

I answered that I don't particularly care about my gender because I've never thought much about it, like I know I'm a guy but I don't feel like that changes anything for me, no matter my personality, like if I liked stereotypically feminine things that wouldn't change anything. I just am what I am and don't think about it at all...

It doesn't matter to me, I guess I just see it as a word to describe my body?

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Peaseblossom o7 said:

Yeah, I'd make a terrible writer, because I can suck at wording things. I don't even know how to fix it...

No it's not bad, It just took some more thinking about the intent of the question I guess.

[purple_rain]

Interesting poll. I don't feel strongly about my gender because I don't really feel gender in the first place. But I do think quite a lot about how I'm being perceived/gendered, and that it bothers me. 

[everywhere and nowhere]

1 hour ago, Peaseblossom o7 said:

Yeah, I'd make a terrible writer, because I can suck at wording things. I don't even know how to fix it...

I think that polls shouldn't be fixed after posting, other than correcting obvious typoes and other mistakes. Changing available answers already interferes with previous choices - some people might regret that a new answer captures their feelings better than the ones previously available, but they no longer have a chance to change their answer.

But I get it in general. As a(n almost) lifelong diarist (almost 35 years of diary-keeping so far), I don't consider myself "bad at wording things", but I remember making a poll for monosexual (that is, straight and gay) people on feelings about sex with their non-preferred gender. In my view it's interesting in terms of a potential comparison with asexual people's feelings about having sex (since for asexuals all people are not of their preferred gender, because an asexual's preference is "no sexual partners"). I felt quite angry at myself for just forgetting the option "curious", even though I'm pretty aware that such a thing exists! Especially men who are... straight, or actually bisexual, but straight-identified, or other options... but generally, men who explicitly don't identify as gay, but are curious about the Big Taboo of gay sex.

Obviously, given the comparison outlined above - even though I have had long periods of anegosexuality with preference for gay scenarioes (now I'm again closer to nonlibidoist, though), I am myself a very definitely sex-averse asexual, one who actively wants never to have sex, and I'm sure that it had something to do with me forgetting about the most positive response to non-preferred gender...

[Sister Mercurial]

Other on dating: I think dating people in the hope you'll become attracted to them is putting the cart before the horse.  Sometimes I become attracted to people after I get to know them.  

 

Other on nudity: Fine with the right person, but not when around those who aren't the right person, whatever sex they are or gender they say they are, and I don't see the point of it at home alone except for functions that require it.  

[Philip027]

1. I'm open to partnerships (I'm married, after all) but I never really sought them out.

 

2. Don't really care about kissing, but my partner likes it, and I tend to like doing what they like, so.  Physicality in general is not really something that occurs naturally to me, though.

 

3. I'm either agender or experience some kind of general disconnect with my body.  Either way, the result is that I don't really connect to any sort of sense of gender.

 

4. I don't experience libido, never have

 

5. I can find sex enjoyable, but it still isn't something that I want or desire to have, so I feel like this is still more on the indifferent side of things rather than favorable.  Much like with kissing, it's something I only ever really do because my partner likes it.

 

6. Indifferent to nudity.  Because I tend to get too hot/uncomfortable in clothes, I'm often wearing nothing but underwear around the house, and that's only really because I don't want to smear my junk all over the bed/furniture.

 

7. Wouldn't say I'm particularly sensual.  I can enjoy a hug/cuddle though, but I never felt starved for it or anything.

 

8. Don't care about aesthetics.  Everyone I've ever developed feelings for, I did so without even knowing what they looked like.  Even when I do find out what they look like, it's only to place a face to the name.  I have no idea what is considered "attractive" aesthetically.

 

9. Before I learned about asexuality, I had always considered myself straight, just not in a sexual way.  Nowadays, I know I was just heteroromantic, but I still basically think of it as being straight.  (Somewhat ironically, my spouse found out later on they were trans, and even I am too in a more nebulous way, so who even knows how to classify the relationship I'm in now?)

 

10. None to both.  I don't generally like kids, partner is allergic to most common pets, neither of us can really afford it.  Taking care of ourselves is enough of a hassle and expense.

[lilihierax]

Do you mean 'orientation' to refer to any kind of attraction? (as in, not romantic or sexual)

[Peaseblossom o7]

10 hours ago, Lilihierax said:

Do you mean 'orientation' to refer to any kind of attraction? (as in, not romantic or sexual)

yup  although it’s really more open to interpretation. I answered gay because of my emotional attraction, even though i can think men look nice

[Artemis42]

1. I'm open to partnerships but have never actively sought one. My priorities just lie elsewhere, but this could potentially change one day maybe. 
2. Like kissing in theory, wasn't wowed by it in practice. Maybe I can like it under the right circumstances or if done in the right way or with the right person, no idea. 

3. I don't feel super strongly about my gender. Like, I am a woman (even if calling myself that feels weird for some reason), I care enough to want to appear feminine-ish, I'm aware of sexism and misogyny, when people talk about women I feel I am included, I feel that I belong in groups of women, etc. Most of the time being a woman is less something I feel and more just something I'm aware of like it's a fact, idk.

4. I have an active libido.

5.   I answered averse/repulsed but sometimes it's hard for me to tell. When I was in a relationship I almost felt sex favorable sometimes, but rarely, mostly I was indifferent or averse, so it varied. But at this point I think I'm unwilling to have sex again even if I can be emotionally okay with it sometimes, so I guess I'm averse in that sense. But I almost never have any problem with just hearing about sex, sexual jokes, sexual music, etc. I'd rather not watch or read detailed, extended sex scenes in media, but yeah. 

6. Not nudity averse I don't think, but I personally prefer to be fully clothed. It took me a long time to be comfortable with even just going barefoot in my own home lol. Maybe I am a bit averse, but only really around other people. When I'm 100% alone I still prefer to be clothed but it's not uncomfortable. 

7. Sensual for sure. 
8. Since I'm blind, I suppose I don't experience aesthetic attraction in the way it's always defined and talked about. Obviously I can't be attracted to someone's physical beauty on a purely visual level because I can't see them. That's not to say that blind people can't experience and appreciate beauty in other ways though, it's just that beauty is often only discussed in visual terms. And blind people can still have physical preferences. I'm not attracted to facial hair on a man for example. It's not a deal-breaker or anything (my ex has facial hair), but it's not something that appeals to me on its own.

9. Straight, or heteroromantic, I identify as both. Also straight in the sensual sense. 
10. I have never had pets but would really like to one day. No children though. 

[Old Maid Librarian]

1. I would have been open to a QPR if one developed from a friendship. Dating seems like the wrong way to go about it since I'm not interested at all in a sexual or romantic relationship. Dating never led to friendships when I was younger. At my age, living with someone, as in sharing a home, would probably be a major adjustment. I'm used to managing my finances, choosing repair people, and doing things on my own, and having to consult someone about every decision would take a lot of getting used to. 

 

3. I'm comfortable in my identity as a female, even if I ignore some of society's ideas about what being female means (grew up rebelling against 50's and 60's sexism). I am offended by mysogyny because it is a personal attack. I did a little amateur acting when I was young and once had to play a boy because of a shortage of male actors. It was challenging to learn to move correctly, but I was moderately convincing. I found it interesting trying to put myself into a different type of person's head, not upsetting, not liberating. I never understood girls who were so insecure that being asked to dance the "boy's part" in gym class sent them into a rage or who absolutely wouldn't be "daddy" when playing house. 

 

7. Chose "other" for the questions about sensuality since I wasn't sure what you meant. I dislike being touched by people I don't have a deep emotional attachment to (family and long time close friends) , but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy looking at beautiful things (including the rare beautiful person), touching furry animals or interesting fabrics, listening to music, eating food, and all sorts of sensory input.

 

 

[lilihierax]

1. Certainly not interested in dating. And honestly, the more I think about it, I reckon I'm not actually interested in a QPR either.

2. No kissing.

3. No strong feelings about the gender I probably don't have.

4. Low libido.

5. Sex-averse.

6. Not necessarily "repulsed" by nudity, but not a fan either.

7. Other - I could imagine touching someone in a clean, idealized way. But I do not like it in reality.

8. I have strong aesthetic attraction, and am technically pseudosexual; so maybe that counts as finding someone "hot"...

9. Bi/pan attractions. (see above)

10. Pets yes, children no.

[RacheI]

1. I love my partner, and like having one. I think I’d be okay without one/multiples as well.

2. All of the kisses all of the time.

3. Pretty solidly feminine, but definitely not all the way binary and it floats around. Mostly I kinda ignore it, but care more than enough to be trans if that makes sense.

4. My libido comes and goes, I like it a lot more when it goes.

5.  Somewhere in the middle of neutral and positive? I’m trying to piece that together.

6. I’m always dressed to some degree, but other people can do whatever they want.

7. Sensuality is wonderful, and confuses the sexuality.

8. People can absolutely be hot, cute, etc to me.

9. The vast majority are feminine presenting, but some masc people’s…

10. Animals are wonderful and I have two cats who are the bestest. Human children are far too much and I could never.

[calibri]

1. Open to dating/qprs

2. Yes I like kissing and depending of my mood and libido I would like deep kissing and body kissing however my main mode is pecks only. 

3. I feel strongly about my gender 

4. Active (wish it wasnt but ya know) 

5. Neutral

6. Not repulsed

7. Yes

8. Hell yes

9. Bi 

10. Pets no kids

 

[totalkt]

pets? absolutely. children? not for a while, and definitely adopted. i aint bringing another human being into this god forsaken world, i'd rather raise one that already has been. 

[Eroell]

 

 

1. I'm open to dating, I'm currently single

2. I like kissing on the cheeks, however kissing on the lips felt really weird for me.

3. I didn't know how to answer because I don;t understand the question

4. I don't think I've ever had libido.

5. I've never had sex so I dunno. I guess I'm indifferent to it

6. Not repulsed (aside from genitals those are a bit... uhhh)

7. Yes I like hugging and stuff

8. I do find some people "hot", that is, when I look at them (or listen to them, because sometimes I'm attracted to voice) I feel some kind of special excitement which I can't describe - without any desire to have sex with them of course

9. Hetero.

10.

On 9/8/2025 at 6:07 AM, headhurtouchie said:

pets? absolutely. children? not for a while, and definitely adopted. 

Same, but for a different reason than you: I;m repulsed by pregnancy and giving birth.

[totalkt]

1 hour ago, Eroell said:

Same, but for a different reason than you: I;m repulsed by pregnancy and giving birth.

hey now dont assume. i am repulsed by it too.

[Squirrel Combat]

1. Yes, I am interested in a romantic/QPR partnership. It's nice to travel with somebody, especially to weird places where you might get robbed). Currently just "talking" with somebody from AceSpace.

 

2. I do like kissing, maybe too much, haha!

 

3. Yeah, I feel pretty strongly about my gender; I like being a dude, but wearing women's heels does give me some weird feelings still when out in punblic, but nobody has said anything negative yet, so that's a win.

 

4. I have an active libido, and do regular "maintenance" on myself, but I don't need another person for that.

 

5. I would consider myself sex neutral. I've done it, and I liked it, but unless it is offered I don't really care about it very much and can go the rest of my life without it.

 

6. I am definitely not nudity repulsed when it comes to the female body, but I don't need to see male genitals, and I never walk around in my house outside a shower nude.

 

7. Yes, I do experience sensual attraction and do get stimulated.

 

8. I experience string aesthetic attraction to women and women's boots. I love the look of them, the colors, the shape, the gleaming smile, glistening eyes, sheen of the hair, shine of the leather, the rounded square toe, the block heel, that shaft! Getting all stimulated and wishing for a proper girlfriend just describing all that now, haha!

 

9. I'm hetero-ace boot sexual, so I'm technically attracted to women and everything corresponding to that, and consider myself "straight".

 

10. I have no children at this time, but I do have "fur children"; one cat who can be very chatty, like a child.

[Blueberry Pie]

1. Open to it. I’m currently in one with my best friend, who is also on the ace spectrum, which evolved naturally from our friendship. I’ve never been someone interested in looking for dates.

2. I like pecks on the lips, and kisses on the cheeks.  
3. I don’t feel too strongly about my own gender (cis woman who’s cool with she/they), but I do feel strongly about supporting women’s rights, and transgender rights.

4. I have one, but I wouldn’t say it’s very strong. Sometimes I do something with it when I’m bored.

5. I said sex neutral. Maybe actually sex averse. Idk. I’ve never done it. I don’t mind if people talk about sex. It’s whatever. 
6. Definitely not nudity repulsed. It’s just a body. I don’t care, though I’d rather not be staring at people’s privates. I think my body’s shape is nice. I wish female-bodied people could go topless.

7. Yes, I definitely experience sensual attraction. I love cuddling, hugs, and hand holding! 
8. Yes, I experience aesthetic attraction. Doesn’t matter what gender the person is. I like when people take care of their appearance and do something that’s uniquely them. Personally, I don’t like a “cookie cutter” American prep look (the polo shirts with khakis type thing), or sweatpants with slippers in public. I like when people are creative, fashionable, and true to themselves. My partner is creative with her makeup and fashion. I think that’s very cool.

9. Bi/pan. My bond with a person matters to me more than their gender.

10. I don’t really want kids. I’d be willing to get one cat or one dog, but even that might be too much.

 

 

[Considered A Hazard]

No partnership.
No kissing (it's weird.)
Gender. Not important. I don't think about it.
Libido. Exists, not very strong.
Sex. Not for me, never. I don't care if others do it. Smut fanfics are okay if I feel like it. 

Nudity. Not sure. Never thought about it. Nudity means nothing to me. It's just a human body with no clothes on. 
Sensual. Nah...

Aesthetics. Does fictional character count? If not then No.
Orientation: Not attracted to anyone.
Children or pets. Pets 

[Aro-Acing It]

1. I'm currently in a QPR with my best friend, who is also aroace. I've never been interested in dating or any kind of romantic relationship. 

2. No kissing for me, I don't even like it when my family kisses me on the forehead.

3. Other, sometimes I feel strongly about my gender, sometimes I don't. 

4. No libido here. 

5. Very much sex averse and repulsed.

6. Nudity repulsed, people look so much better with their clothes on. 

7. Other, I fall in-between sensual and not sensual, since I'm demi-sensual. 

8. I do feel aesthetic attraction, but only to fictional characters and people I don't know. 

9. Not attracted to anyone (I'm assuming this question is talking about sexual and romantic attraction). 

10. Pets, but no children. 

[hexingkinase]

1: Would love a QPR but am not seeking any partnership right now

2: Pecks on the face, lips or forehead. Though in the right mood I enjoy kissing too. 

3: Don't feel too strongly about it.

4: I have a weak libido, I just ignore it

5: Somewhere between sex-averse and neutral/indifferent. I've never had sex, don't care if I never do and feel revolted by the idea of someone being sexually attracted to me. But I don't care what other people do, can enjoy sex in media (as long as it's not over the top). Every once in a while I wonder if I ever had the right connection to someone then *maybe* I'd try, though its far from a priority or need for me to be fulfilled in a relationship.

6: Nudity-neutral. It's a human body with human parts.

7: Definitely sensual, I want hugs and cuddles

8: I do experience aesthetic attraction

9: Mostly homoromantic? I've given up on trying to define it lol

10: Pets are a must. Still sorting out how I feel about children; mostly no because of pregnancy. But if I had a partner who already had a child, I could see myself being a parent that way.

[everywhere and nowhere]

OK, so maybe my responses too.

1. Not interested. I have come to the conclusion that I'm too introverted for relationships. I just love the company of texts of culture more than the company of people. I only tolerate the latter in small doses and I basically spend most of my time doing the former.

2. I have never had a kiss other than of the "familial" kind. I doubt that I might enjoy it, but I'm also unlikely to try.

3. Closest to option 2, I think. I definitely identify with my gender in a non-standard way. I feel that what is presented as supposedly essential for the experience of being a woman is completely inaccessible to me as an asexual person who is also sex-averse, has no relationship experience, doesn't reproduce or intend to and actively dislikes all those women's beauty and clothing rituals because I don't want to be perceived as a potential sex object. But, nevertheless, I do indentify as a woman through feminism, and this is what makes my gender matter to me after all: I feel like I receive an unspoken message from the society, that if I fail at "being a Real Woman" on so many levels, I supposedly shouldn't identify as one. This is what gives my gender identification a sense of defiance: I am a woman because I know that I'm a woman, and not because I fulfill the criteria arbitrarily set by other people.

(From a book: "But now it's late 20th century, national identity has already crystallised, and level of education has advanced enough that we should finally accept internal identification as the only criterion of nationality, and reject so-called objective criteria as dangerous. I am Polish (Slovak, Ukrainian), because I identify as such, not because I fulfill the criteria of being part of a nation, set by someone else. I am this and not someone else, because this is my sovereign decision which I do not intend to explain.")

4. I have a bit of libido.

5. Absolutely sex-averse and proud to accept myself. I don't want to have sex with anyone, ever, under any circumstances.

6. Absolutely nudity-averse and proud to accept myself. I am terrified of being seen naked and I am not obligated to treat it as something "wrong", as a disorder which I should want to "fix". I don't want to, I want to live my life as a nudity-averse person which never exposes myself to anyone.

Actually, even despite living alone, I'm uncomfortable with being naked in any room other than my bathroom. I just don't like nudity. Even in the summer I only expose my head, neck (and even that often not fully - due to my allergy I prefer shirts with a collar, to avoid direct contact of jewellery with my skin) and forearms.

7. Not very much. When I'm meeting femily or friends, very often there's no physical contact involved at all. I just don't feel a need for it. I can tolerate a hug, occasionally I want it, but I'm quite averse to skin-on-skin contact.

8. Option 3. OK, Currently I have very little libido again and I like it, but generally I can find people explicitly sexually attractive and yet explicitly don't want to have sexual contact with anyone regardless of whether I consider them attractive. I don't know why should there be any contradiction about it.

9. I have stopped identifying with any romantic orientation. I feel that it kinda misses the point if I anyway don't intend to be in relationships, because I don't even know how do people do it, and I feel that a relationship would seriously overstep my comfort zone.

10. Neither children nor pets. I'm just not a pet person. I respect animals, I do think it's wrong to eat them, for example. I also actively like some animals, I'm a big cat maniac since early childhood and I have very childish reactions to the sight and sound of little big cats (for example the squealing of a lion cub immediately sends me into "cuteness overload" ). But I just don't want any animals around. I'm allergic to a lot of them. I don't want the responsibility. Even if it seems contradictory, I'm both a messy person (I hate cleaning up) and rather germaphobic, and also for this reason I wouldn't be comfortable with keeping pets. And, my introvertism absolutely extends to non-human living company (it doesn't extend to non-living company such as books). Really, why is not wanting to keep pets perceived as so weird and in need of an explanation?

As for children, I read (personally) two books explaining reproduction to a (slightly older) children audience when I was five years old, and they freaked me out so much that I immediately decided: NO WAY I'd let my poor body endure such things. I'm absolutely sex-averse, tokophobic, mortally terrified of a certain medical specialisation due to my nudity aversion, uninterested in having children also for non-physical reasons (such as my introvertism), and, on top of that, also someone who definitely shouldn't have children as an autistic person who sucks at "being an adult". So it's only a good thing that it's something I never wanted anyway.

[marieatsplants]

It's entertaining responding to this as a demisexual in a relationship, because I effectively answered as if I were allo with two big asterisks: everything literally only applies to my boyfriend, and I still don't find other people 'hot', unless they remind me of him.

 

If I'd taken this poll a year ago the responses would be VERY different, lol!