Sprout Seedly Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 I don't fit into lesbianism, not am I straight. I'm not sure if I'm biromantic or panromantic. I've seen word going around that bisexual means attraction to all genders, and words like pansexual and omnisexual is just used to describe preference or lack of preference. Even heard someone say if you aren't attracted to nonbinary people, then your transphobic (mind you this was in one of those carrds)! I'm very certain I like women, and men, but I'm not sure about non-binary people. In the past I used to think I could love anyone regardless of gender, but now I'm not sure. This also applies to my sexuality, but that's another post for another day. I tend to have crushes on more male characters and celebrities, even finding them hot. I've fantasized about men and women sexually and romantically. I became infatuated (?) with someone who was non-binary, and even found genderfluid people cute (maybe in a dateable sense? I'm not really sure?, and one of my exes is a demigirl. I've dated different genders, eventually finding out I'm not actually attracted to to most of them. I'm more of a personality type person when it comes to dating. If someone has a good personality, and I have a good emotional bond with them or know more about them then it's fine. I can't tell if there's a preference. There might be. As for sexuality, I've only experienced sexual attraction once before, and now again to my girlfriend. I haven't felt sexual attraction to people of other genders, before or yet at least. Except finding a male kpop idol hot, but idk if that counts. Most of my sexual dreams, desires, and fantasies revolve around men. Though recently I thought to myself that I don't care about one's body, or anything, I'd still love them sexually as well as romantically. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah-Sylvia Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 if gender matters then maybe biromantic fits better. That's the label I use myself because gender does make a difference even if I could theoretically love any gender identity (the persons) romantically. Some people consider panromantic to be sort of gender-blind when it comes to attraction/ romantic love. Someone can still have preferences in any case though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olallieberry Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 1 hour ago, Sprout Seedly said: bisexual means attraction to all genders We can think of it more like, “at least two.” 1 hour ago, Sprout Seedly said: words like pansexual and omnisexual is just used to describe preference or lack of preference Generally, these are understood to mean “attraction to any gender” or to “all genders” as a (possibly artificial) distinction against “bisexual,” which some people with some agendas will say rules out certain genders. I am not a fan of that kind of projection. Speaking for myself, I could be and have been attracted to a variety of non-cisgendered people and I don’t choose to identify as pan or omni. “Bi” is working just fine for me. 1 hour ago, Sprout Seedly said: Even heard someone say if you aren't attracted to nonbinary people, then your transphobic That’s completely asinine. Maybe it’s transphobic to be attracted to a NB person and insist that they are a male or a female, but is a man who isn’t attracted to men a homophobe? Is a lesbian a heterophobe? This is the kind of thing which is what makes me resist identifying as something “more inclusive” than bisexual. Inclusive my ass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sprout Seedly Posted April 15 Author Share Posted April 15 1 hour ago, Olallieberry said: We can think of it more like, “at least two.” Generally, these are understood to mean “attraction to any gender” or to “all genders” as a (possibly artificial) distinction against “bisexual,” which some people with some agendas will say rules out certain genders. I am not a fan of that kind of projection. Speaking for myself, I could be and have been attracted to a variety of non-cisgendered people and I don’t choose to identify as pan or omni. “Bi” is working just fine for me. That’s completely asinine. Maybe it’s transphobic to be attracted to a NB person and insist that they are a male or a female, but is a man who isn’t attracted to men a homophobe? Is a lesbian a heterophobe? This is the kind of thing which is what makes me resist identifying as something “more inclusive” than bisexual. Inclusive my ass Those comments really confused and infuriated me, tbh. You're definitely right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
everywhere and nowhere Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 3 hours ago, Sprout Seedly said: Even heard someone say if you aren't attracted to nonbinary people, then your transphobic When I read stuff like this, or about the infamous "cotton ceiling", I get paranoid and start to think that there are transphobes pretending to be trans in order to place the whole community in a bad light. Certainly there has been a precedent: I've heard about a male terf who pretended to be trans and made himself a dating profile, all in order to make people, who could consider him a representative trans woman, think that all trans women are pathetic. Nasty. But when I read this kind of outlandish claims, I get the same impression: as if transphobes were sneaking into trans communities to make the most extreme claims and thus create an impression than trans people are radicals who want to destroy the right to choose an appropriate partner. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philip027 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 My spouse has thought of themself as biromantic, because they could experience attraction toward people of their gender, and people of other genders -- two separate gender groups. Effectively, that would be panromantic, but they never felt it necessary to use a term other than biromantic. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olallieberry Posted April 16 Share Posted April 16 1 hour ago, Philip027 said: My spouse has thought of themself as biromantic, because they could experience attraction toward people of their gender, and people of other genders -- two separate gender groups I counted them, and the math adds up, that does make two, all right! 1 hour ago, Philip027 said: they never felt it necessary to use a term other than biromantic I've never seen someone make it look necessary for them to identify as pan for any reason other than something which looked "smug" to me. People can identify as pan and that's just fine to me, but I've never seen someone talk about "why" without them coming off as just thinking they're "better than bisexual." Their allegation that "the difference is we're gender blind and bi's are not gender blind" sounds exactly like those smug white people who would have you believe "I don't even see another person's color." The omnis seem to be mercifully silent about all of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah-Sylvia Posted April 16 Share Posted April 16 7 hours ago, Olallieberry said: I counted them, and the math adds up, that does make two, all right! I've never seen someone make it look necessary for them to identify as pan for any reason other than something which looked "smug" to me. People can identify as pan and that's just fine to me, but I've never seen someone talk about "why" without them coming off as just thinking they're "better than bisexual." Their allegation that "the difference is we're gender blind and bi's are not gender blind" sounds exactly like those smug white people who would have you believe "I don't even see another person's color." The omnis seem to be mercifully silent about all of this. I find it weird for you to say that. There's plenty of pan people who just use it because it fits their orientaiton, including those who genuinely don't care what gender someone has when it comes to who they like. If anything I would say you're really stereotyping in the worst way here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olallieberry Posted April 16 Share Posted April 16 11 hours ago, Sarah-Sylvia said: I find it weird for you to say that. There's plenty of pan people who just use it because it fits their orientaiton, including those who genuinely don't care what gender someone has when it comes to who they like. If anything I would say you're really stereotyping in the worst way here. I didn’t say “they all say this,” there certainly are pan people who just own their own identity and don’t project anything onto anyone else of some other elected label. But there are some who do, and they’re the ones I’m talking about, and I’m pointing out that people who do this are smug. I am talking about a behavior, not an identity. But if I have to invent a #notallpans hashtag in order to defend pans from pans, then here goes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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