Allosexual support groups?

[PonderingOnTheNet]

Does anyone know of any support groups for allosexuals in an asexual relationship?

 

I have so many questions and so many thoughts to work my way through after discovering my wife of 16 years is asexual...  This message board, is great, but it does come at message board speeds.  I'm wondering if there are any groups of people who share my experiences and questions where we can converse in real time.

[Sarah-Sylvia]

@PonderingOnTheNet You asked in the right section of the forum, maybe there are some sexual people who know of a discord server you could chat live in, though I haven't heard of any. But I encourage to make use of the forum too, having the time to think and write what you want to know, as well as for responses, has its own benefit. Hope something can help <3.

[uhtred]

I don't know of any support groups, but the topic is discussed at length on this board by people in this situation.    Long story short, there are often not a lot of good options. The asexual person is unlikely to want sex, the sexual person unlikely to stop needing it to be happy. Pretty much leaves
compromise - if the gap isn't too large

sex outside of marriage - if both are OK with that

ending the relationship.

Continue with one or both people unhappy.

 

[blaigorn]

I was also looking for this and settled on the forums, as I didn’t find any group like that. I’ve considered starting a Discord group, but I’m not sure it would have traction. If there’s enough interest I could potentially create one (or if anyone knows any, do tell). As @Sarah-Sylvia said there are advantages on a longer form medium. But I also feel a more real time community of support could be valuable, even if just to share a little of our day to day frustrations 

[Olallieberry]

4 hours ago, PonderingOnTheNet said:

This message board, is great, but it does come at message board speeds

In my opinion, that’s OK. Because, the issues we’re working through take time to resolve. Speaking for myself, if I was experiencing something so pressing that I couldn’t abide anything longer than real-time interactions, that would probably be a situation which just needed to end.

 

Welcome, we’re here when you want to talk.

[Hermione_Ch]

That’s definitely a tough spot to be in, especially after so many years together. I haven’t come across many support groups for allosexuals in asexual relationships, but the forums can be a good place to connect with people who get it.

[PonderingOnTheNet]

3 hours ago, blaigorn said:

I was also looking for this and settled on the forums, as I didn’t find any group like that. I’ve considered starting a Discord group, but I’m not sure it would have traction. If there’s enough interest I could potentially create one (or if anyone knows any, do tell). As @Sarah-Sylvia said there are advantages on a longer form medium. But I also feel a more real time community of support could be valuable, even if just to share a little of our day to day frustrations 

I would be interested in a discord channel.  I'd even help administer it, too.

 

[Liara]

I don’t know any other place like aven to talk about mixed-relationships. I think a lot of sexual people concerned by this topic usually break up and find a more compatible partner…

[blaigorn]

I’ll set a Discord group today and we’ll see how it evolves. Just want to make sure I set up roles and rules appropriately to make sure it’s a safe, inclusive and supportive space.

[blaigorn]

Here's a link to the brand new Allo/Ace Relationship Support Discord: https://discord.gg/5HkwdJ2PZP

 

Again, the goal is just to have a more free flowing, conversational and informal space as a complement to these forums. I still believe these forums to contain the most well thought, valuable documentation of experiences that I found. I hope the Discord server mirrors the empathy, positiveness and (sometimes hard) truths found here, in a different medium. I've also included spaces for Ace people, if there's interest on them joining, but for now the focus is on the area I can provide help. Let's see how it takes off.

 

Note: I've read through the ToS and didn't see any mention on prohibiting advertising of external communities. If I did miss that I apologize and feel free to delete this message (or ask me to delete it).