ei-hvað Posted September 17 Share Posted September 17 (edited) Category: Blog(s) Author: Grace Reed Title 1: Trust but verify, or "sometimes the internet just makes shit up" Title 2: Bambisexuals, part II Date: May 8 and 9. 2024 Link to part I Link to part II I recently finished reading Sherronda J. Brown's Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on our Sex-Obsessed Culture. In the penultimate chapter, "Histories", they go over the history of asexuality in one timeline from the 19th century to the modern day. One segment there sparked my interest. It was about the first mention of bambi-sexuality from 1989, which is defined as "physical interactions which are more about touching, kissing and caressing than around genital sexuality", and is a type of asexual identity. I found this interesting, as this describes how me and my ace partner interact with each other sensually. We love cuddles and spending time in bed, we just don't have sex. However, upon looking for more information on the term, including on AVEN, most mentions seemed to talk about "bambi-lesbians", which describes a similar thing but as a lesbian identity. This doesn't fit me and my partner as we are hetero, so I continued searching and found those two blog posts by the historian and lawyer Grace Reed. They are published earlier in 2024, and discuss how this type of (a)sexual identity was essentially mischaracterized in the early 2010's as a lesbian identity, stemming from a misunderstanding, and further how it really started as an insult in the male gay space. I think it is a rather useful term to describe asexuals who are also sensual and enjoy deep cuddling outside of sex, and I hope it can be decoupled from being a singularly lesbian identity (though of course gay couples can be bambi-sexuals). Edited September 17 by ei-hvað 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olallieberry Posted September 17 Share Posted September 17 I find the whole "bambi" terminology to be infantilizing to people and to the non-sexual behaviors discussed. I mean, I personally have a stake in this, so I'm not some sexually-oriented cishet rando projecting defensive outrage onto others. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ei-hvað Posted September 17 Author Share Posted September 17 32 minutes ago, Olallieberry said: I find the whole "bambi" terminology to be infantilizing to people and to the non-sexual behaviors discussed. I mean, I personally have a stake in this, so I'm not some sexually-oriented cishet rando projecting defensive outrage onto others. That's fair enough, and as detailed in the blog posts, it was meant to be offensive at first (an insult against gay men who were seen as too vanilla). However, my partner has called me "Bambi" since we got together, so I find it sweet. It isn't a very academic term, that's for sure. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah-Sylvia Posted September 17 Share Posted September 17 I much rather say I'm sensual. I don't particular like the label, and don't really think of it as a sexuality, at least in my case. And I think considering how far back the word comes from, back when everything was thought in terms of 'sexuality', it feels a little outdated when we use the split attraction model. But hitory can still be interesting to some. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muledeer Posted September 17 Share Posted September 17 What a relief to read the OP and learn that bambisexuality does not involve baby deer. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philip027 Posted September 17 Share Posted September 17 39 minutes ago, Muledeer said: What a relief to read the OP and learn that bambisexuality does not involve baby deer. It doesn't matter if it does or not. It's what absolutely everyone is going to think anyway when they hear this term. 🙄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olallieberry Posted September 17 Share Posted September 17 3 hours ago, Muledeer said: What a relief to read the OP and learn that bambisexuality does not involve baby deer. No, but it's named for one, which is why it's so skeezy. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picklethewickle Posted September 18 Share Posted September 18 3 hours ago, Muledeer said: What a relief to read the OP and learn that bambisexuality does not involve baby deer. Having read how the name came to be, it makes me a bit sad to think that people will skip symbolic thinking in favour of literal thinking, even if the symbolism comes from pop culture that isn't even all the relevant anymore. (Plus the literal thinking is gross. I could have gone my life without being handed that thought, thank you very much.) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
binary suns Posted September 18 Share Posted September 18 bi bam I don't use the term because it sounds to me like the person will have sex and just likes touching that isn't sex related to be exciting 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thylacine Posted September 18 Share Posted September 18 5 hours ago, Olallieberry said: I find the whole "bambi" terminology to be infantilizing to people and to the non-sexual behaviors discussed. Good point, actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thylacine Posted September 18 Share Posted September 18 4 hours ago, Muledeer said: What a relief to read the OP and learn that bambisexuality does not involve baby deer. Yeah, I thought it was about forest critters myself ... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thylacine Posted September 18 Share Posted September 18 6 hours ago, ei-hvað said: I recently finished reading Sherronda J. Brown's Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on our Sex-Obsessed Culture. In the penultimate chapter, "Histories", they go over the history of asexuality in one timeline from the 19th century to the modern day. Sounds interesting; would like to read this some day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilihierax Posted September 18 Share Posted September 18 9 hours ago, Sarah-Sylvia said: I much rather say I'm sensual. What I was thinking too. Surely 'bambi-sexual' is what we now simply call 'asexual with sensual attraction' 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frameshift07 Posted September 18 Share Posted September 18 The name "bambi-sexual" is just confusing because the 'bambi' prefix carrying the 'ace' isn't obvious. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mult Posted September 18 Share Posted September 18 When I see "bambi", "bambino" or "bambina" comes to mind which is Italian for child or baby. Actually I'm pretty sure Bambi the deer was named after bambino in Italian. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luftschlosseule Posted September 18 Share Posted September 18 Hearing this term for the first time, I agree that it sounds infantilising. If you're using it to describe yourself or a loved one who is fine with it, okay. But if put on other people things could get iffy really fast. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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