Is it normal for people to get nervous/giddy around and about other people even when the feeling isnt romantic??

[randomthrowaway969]

Im trying to figure out if Im Aromantic right now and I just wanna ask if it's normal for people to get nervous or have 'butterflies' in their stomach around people even if the feeling is Platonic, I know Ive gotten nervous about asking people to be their friends and Ive felt similarly about Lushes before (just instead with wanting to be friends it's wanting physical touch) so I think you can?? Idk

[Ceebs]

I've had that feeling in platonic situations a handful of times, and since I'm both romantic and sexual, I can easily tell when I'm not feeling anything that falls under those categories and it's entirely platonic. So yeah, it can definitely be normal for some -- and not for others. I discussed this once with my partner (also sexual and romantic) and he's said he's never really had that feeling in a platonic sense. And I imagine some romantic aces probably don't get that in platonic situations either. It's just an individual thing.

[Olallieberry]

Sounds like regular old anxiety to me. Fear of rejection isn't only a trait of romantic interactions.

[Ceebs]

It might not always be about fear of rejection, though. It could just be excitement and admiration. I've had it with people I just super duper like a lot and maybe look up to. One person I can think of where I've felt that way was my cousin, another was a friend who's 30 years older than I am and I see him kind of in a fatherly/mentor sort of way. I had it with a music teacher at school I really liked when I was a teenager, too. None of those situations were remotely romantic or sexual, of course. I can just get excited about connecting with someone.

[randomthrowaway969]

GAH THANK YOU BOTH sorry I can't respond as quickly as I want to (timer) but I do genuinely feel happy that people are responding to this since it helps a LOT. I was also looking at people asking the same/similar questions and from what Im getting at the difference between romantic attraction and non romantic attraction is just intent, which I don't think I had? It was just "Oh I want to cuddle them so that must MEAN Im infatuated with them and want to bear their children??!?1111". I also heard of Aros who have 'symptoms' of being romantically in love but not actually being well- in love. Makes sense looking back on it now knowing how I honestly didn't really care how and just wanted to be emotionally/physically close to them, but not exactly recognizing there were other ways to do that.

[Noctus]

I get this ..Mix of what feels like anxiety and excitement, especially if its a topic I happen to really like ..But then I can sort of talk someones ears off and not really catch if they rather move to a different topic which I guess can be a bit much for some! I wouldnt doubt it really. When I use to draw regularly there was an artist I knew, he did tattoos and really wanted me to go in that route and he would go on and on about art in the same way that I can about many things, I guess its just being passionate about something in that sense? I dunno. Maybe its not the same and my rambling more than likely didnt help much.

[Hurta]

57 minutes ago, randomthrowaway969 said:

It was just "Oh I want to cuddle them so that must MEAN Im infatuated with them and want to bear their children??!?1111"

You didn't have to go reading my mind like that, LOL

 

I always refrain from commenting on threads about romantic attraction because I don't know if I feel it or not because wtf even is romance, but in this case I believe I can tell you: I have also felt this before, with platonic relationships. I even called a friend a crush at some point, but it definitely wasn't, because when she got a boyfriend I was just like "Cool!!!" and went on with my life, still wanting our relationship to stay as it was.

[Squirrel Combat]

I can get nervous around ANYONE if I'm standing near them with nothing to do.

[Frodo.]

Yeah, for me it can totally just mean I'm worried about looking like a complete idiot around someone who I respect and look up to! 😅

Or, excitement about being in the company of someone like that.  Like getting excited about seeing your favourite band in concert for the first time, for example. 

 

Does not have to mean sexual or romantic feelings

[binary suns]

4 hours ago, randomthrowaway969 said:

Im trying to figure out if Im Aromantic right now and I just wanna ask if it's normal for people to get nervous or have 'butterflies' in their stomach around people even if the feeling is Platonic, 

some people can get this way, while for others it's romantic, and others doesn't get this experience at all, and stuff idk

 

I don't experience this at all. for me, I mostly feel alterous attraction that is partially romantic but otherwise in between platonic and romantic. idk how to explain it well. But I've had a crush recently on someone, and how I knew it was romantic was that I was thinking and experiencing romantic thoughts and desires. but of course, some people it's not that obvious. 

 

but generally speaking, if you want to be a friend then it's platonic. if romance isn't what you're after, it's platonic.

[DarkStormyKnight]

Yeah this has totally happened to me! I definitely used to mistake it for romantic attraction when I was younger because there is so much focus on the "butterflies in the stomach" type of thing. Turns out that I'm just anxious around certain people. (And also explains why I kept thinking I had a crush on certain authority figures in my life, which could have led to really not great situations.)