kelico Posted September 19 Share Posted September 19 Ok, so it's been aaaaaaaaaaaaages since I've created a thread, let alone one asking for help on my identity...but here I am. I've been questioning my romantic orientation and sexuality for a little while now...it's confused me beyond belief. But I think I'm starting to admit to myself that I may be fictoromantic. The thing is...is that on the aro-spec? Or if not, is it possible to be purely fictoromantic but aromantic when it comes to IRL/attainable people? I've identified as aromantic for a long time now because I know that IRL romantic attraction is not there, but ever since I was a kid, I've had crushes (that felt romantic) on fictional characters. I've just tried to push that away...thinking that it would make me not aro or something? I don't know. It's also the fact that these are NOT real people I'm attracted to...and that is still heavily judged by others. I think I'm rambling. I guess I'd just like some clarification on being ficto but also being aro? Thanks, friends. : ) 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted September 19 Share Posted September 19 Hi Yes you can be both. Typically because the ficto labels are mainly used to say that someone is 'only' romantically or sexually interested in fictional characters, it is on the aro/ace spectrums, but some have used it a bit differently too, though it's really something you can easily use more than one label for (as both aro and ficto) if you want to emphasize both.. or also not mention the ficto part even if you know it. Depends how you feel about it. Do you ever daydream about romance with fictional characters? just curious, and only if you feel like sharing :D. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mackenzie Holiday Posted September 19 Share Posted September 19 It sounds like you're worried that these identities could be mutually exclusive and that you might have to pick just one, which is a really tough place to be. To me, it makes perfect sense how being ficto doesn't make you any less aro and how being aro doesn't make you any less ficto. I don't think you should have to choose between the two when both your experiences of romantic feelings toward fictional characters and aromanticism IRL are a part of you. If you experience both, I think you should have both! The important thing is that you're able to accept yourself and all the different feelings and experiences you have without feeling like you have to push any of it away. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted September 19 Share Posted September 19 2 hours ago, kelico said: is it possible to be purely fictoromantic but aromantic when it comes to IRL/attainable people? yup 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mult Posted Tuesday at 09:09 AM Share Posted Tuesday at 09:09 AM Fictional characters don't exist, so they aren't people or a gender/sex that you're attracted to. You're personal romantic fantasies about fiction doesn't impact your romantic attraction to other real people. Sexuality and romantic attraction is about your attraction/desire/whatever people want to call it to other people/genders/sexes. So no, your attraction to fictional characters doesn't mean you can't be aromantic. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted Tuesday at 12:56 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 12:56 PM Fictosexual/romantic to me is its own thing separate from orientation. Within this ficto paradigm can have an entire orientation within itself. Im not ficto myself but I’ve created an entire world that I can receive some pleasure from. I don’t have attractions to my own creations, but it’s rather dint to do. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted Tuesday at 07:06 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 07:06 PM Thank you @Janus the Fox @Mult @binary suns @Mackenzie Holiday @Sarah-Sylvia ❤️❤️❤️ I was really nervous about posting because I honestly haven't posted for help in ages, and this has been a personal thing to me...something I've kept private. So yeah, thank you so much for all of your answers!! Really greatly appreciate them. : )) @Sarah-Sylvia Yes, I do daydream/have fantasies involving fictional characters. I don't daydream about real people...like being romantic/intimate with them...only fictional. And it's always confused me I guess. But it seems I'm not alone...I've always thought this made me weird. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted Tuesday at 07:26 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 07:26 PM @kelicoThat's interesting, and no you're not alone I've seen even more others on the site who feel the same :). Personally my feelings (romantic) transfer between fantasy and irl, in some ways anyway, but I find it interesting that it can feel very different to some on the aro spectrum. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
eggs_n_juice Posted Thursday at 06:01 AM Share Posted Thursday at 06:01 AM I think you're 100% valid, and I feel the same way! Actually, the most sincere and genuine, long-term romantic feelings I've had have been for one fictional character in particular. So I feel demiromantic-asexual with a strong fictosexual lean, I think. Good to know I'm not the only one in that realm, haha 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.