Enkai Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 I'm in a neutral camp here. I don't think sex in and of itself is a bad thing, and trying to suggest that sexuals remain celibate is ridiculous. I do however, think it is something that shouldn't be treated as lightly as it is by society, as it seems that it has a tendency to cause a lot of problems in people's relationships. Perhaps it just comes from my point-of-view as an asexual, but I fail to see why it should be such a huge obsession as well. I do think that it is good to keep it within marriage/commitment as self-control is a good skill to have and the two involved are less likely to be hurt if/when the sexual attraction wears off. However, I can see how that can cause issues as well, if two people rush into marriage not recognizing they're desperate to get in bed with each other. I do my best not to judge as I don't know people's hearts. *shrugs* There's just a lot of potential stances you can take on the topic. As I said, I don't think sex is a bad thing, I just don't think it should be glorified as the end-all of human existence such as it is. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Revenge of Rain Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 I actually disagree that it's treated lightly. If it were there wouldn't be the emotional problems so many have. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Enkai Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Lightly probably wasn't the best choice of words. Society takes sex quite seriously in that it's incredibly focused on it and being able to have any sort of close relationship is almost expected to have sex involved (at least that's the impression I've gotten). What's taken lightly are the implications of it. People jump into bed with each other without any thought for the emotional issues that may arise. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tool1989 Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Shrugs shoulders. I'll do it to satisfy a partner but I prefer cuddles. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
funaladanaly Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I thought most asexuals thought that. I know I do. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Amcan Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 I'm feeling mroe confident the more I see this thread. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
141822 Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Count me in. It's nice to see others who feel the same way. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Freija Posted October 14, 2007 Share Posted October 14, 2007 So any other asexuals think sexuals should be free to have sex and asexuals should be be free to not have sex? Absolutely. Live and let live. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Fosco Posted October 14, 2007 Share Posted October 14, 2007 I don't have any problem with anyone having sex - if thats what they want to do. Asexual people should be free to not have sex - if thats what they want to do. Although I know if I went to my GP I would most likely get some sort of 'treatment' Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Amcan Posted October 27, 2007 Author Share Posted October 27, 2007 *bump* Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ghosts Posted October 27, 2007 Share Posted October 27, 2007 I don't think I posted in here- so yes! Why should I care if a sexual person wants to have sex? Sex is not a bad thing. I find it enjoyable, personally. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
alicaurusrex Posted October 27, 2007 Share Posted October 27, 2007 I think sex is great if both parties are enjoying it, which doesn't generally apply to me and my relationships as I just don't really get much, if anything, out of it. I used to feel selfish and guilty for declining sex with my partner/s, but now I know there are others out there like me, I am excited to have a sexually equal relationship one day! I don't even really have a problem with people who have casual consenting sex - it is their lives, and it is natural (and good for you!) after all. I do think that it has been made into too big a deal in modern life - along with all sorts of things - being rich, Christmas gifts, having nice stuff... sex is this 'requirement' that is made out to be much more important than it should be. It is a nice, normal, natural thing but it's not the be all and end all. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bbctv Posted October 28, 2007 Share Posted October 28, 2007 i'm about the same. it doesn't bother me that people like sex, it's okay for them, just wouldn't work for me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lekzýs Posted October 28, 2007 Share Posted October 28, 2007 Hm, I mostly agree with you - having sex is perfectly normal for sexuals, and I see no reason to stop them or anything - it would be unfair beyond words. If they enjoy it, then good for them. But I'd really like it if they kept it private and away from me - being a slightly repulsed-A I do not wish to hear about it. As for asexuals being accepted for not having sex, of course I think that. I just can't see it happening though - obviously there are plenty, perhaps a majority, of sexuals who would accept us if made aware, but there'll always be those who don't. And society as a whole doesn't help, I don't think, what with portraying sex and something everyone wants to do and all. Many asexuals have suffered due to pressure, put-downs, and cluelessness from sexuals. So there's a tendency to want to hit back, methinks. Yeah, I do agree with that - as someone who's pretty much been excluded by male sexuals since puberty, I certainly have a chip on my shoulder with the narrow-mindedness of some. I don't care if they have sex though, so I would never call myself an anti-sexual or anything; and I can sort of see why they might think like they do. After all, I can't comprehend why they'd want to have sex. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Amcan Posted October 28, 2007 Author Share Posted October 28, 2007 After all, I can't comprehend why they'd want to have sex. And sexuals can't comprehend you don't want sex. Works both ways. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OwlSaint Posted October 28, 2007 Share Posted October 28, 2007 *raises glass* To people doing whatever makes them happy, So long as they respect the needs, desires, and consent of whom they do it with. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
QueenOfSwords Posted October 30, 2007 Share Posted October 30, 2007 *joins OwlSaint in a drink* Here here; an excellent sentiment. QoS Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Amcan Posted November 4, 2007 Author Share Posted November 4, 2007 *bumps* Quote Link to post Share on other sites
QueenOfSwords Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 *bumps back* :) QoS Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Amcan Posted November 6, 2007 Author Share Posted November 6, 2007 And again! I feel this topic should keep current becuase there are loads of asexuals as tis thread shows who honestly do not mind others having sex. Just FYI newbies. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Idedalus Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 I would agree that sex could be a very positive thing for those who enjoy it, and I don't mind it. I think what I dislike or just don't understand is when it is not part of a loving relationship, or when it gets confused with love. You can love without sex, as some threads I seen here have talked about. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
emmarainbow Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 I, also, do not mind sex, nor do I mind others having it. :D Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dame du Lac Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 At this point we should all have sex-on-the-beach! (The cocktail, obviously ) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Amcan Posted November 9, 2007 Author Share Posted November 9, 2007 Ooo got a recipe? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cijay Posted November 9, 2007 Share Posted November 9, 2007 zoes ken - it was and is now corrected :) And I agree Lonepiper. Oh...it was? Doesn't change my answer because I think sex for asexuals is fine, too! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
andrew_w Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 I'm in a neutral camp here. I don't think sex in and of itself is a bad thing, and trying to suggest that sexuals remain celibate is ridiculous. I do however, think it is something that shouldn't be treated as lightly as it is by society, as it seems that it has a tendency to cause a lot of problems in people's relationships. Perhaps it just comes from my point-of-view as an asexual, but I fail to see why it should be such a huge obsession as well.I do think that it is good to keep it within marriage/commitment as self-control is a good skill to have and the two involved are less likely to be hurt if/when the sexual attraction wears off. However, I can see how that can cause issues as well, if two people rush into marriage not recognizing they're desperate to get in bed with each other. I do my best not to judge as I don't know people's hearts. *shrugs* There's just a lot of potential stances you can take on the topic. As I said, I don't think sex is a bad thing, I just don't think it should be glorified as the end-all of human existence such as it is. Agreed. I am definitely not antisexual (although I definitely wouldn't want to be sexual, and I think that the way I am is the best way to be for me). I do think that sex's place is in a commited relationship, though. edit: grammatical correction Quote Link to post Share on other sites
complications Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 I'm fine with other people doing what they want, and probably more people should be, because if we accept others they're more likely to accept us. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HiMe Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 I don't think sex is a bad thing, I just don't think it should be glorified as the end-all of human existence such as it is. Agreed. Both the sexuality, and other personal decisions, while it does not cause pain and respects different positions, it is not anything bad; inadequate are the extrem positions that they attack to others. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Amcan Posted November 10, 2007 Author Share Posted November 10, 2007 zoes ken - it was and is now corrected :) And I agree Lonepiper. Oh...it was? Doesn't change my answer because I think sex for asexuals is fine, too! I admit I think so too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest edward gorey's daughter Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Hey Amcam, thanks for making this thread. (and thanks for being one of the people to greet me on the Welcome board) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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