Goonie Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 there are times when I think it's not ok for it... ie someone just getting out of surgery and expecting them to have it...but that could just be me... *venting a bit* Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Raker Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 I don't mind what people do as long as they don't do it anywhere near me lol. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ewok Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 I have in the past liked some kinds sex, I just don't believe love=sex. I'm conflicted sometimes because I'm somewhat repulsed by it, but sometimes it feels good. I would rather have a relationship where sex is minimal or not present at all, however (Maybe some parasexual stuff would work instead? I have no clue). I get a little depressed when I find out how people equate love with sex, and feel that a relationship isn't successful because I don't feel as they do. One thing I don't think sexual people quite understand is that I don't associate love with sex, or aesthetic attraction with sex and that I can go months and years without it and not really care one way or another. The second someone equates sexual intimacy with the only way a relationship will grow, I recoil. A lot. I understand the logic behind that, but it makes me bummed that the one thing that is the least important to me in a relationship is so important to them so I tend to draw back, and kind of fear any further intimacy. That's what happened in my most recent relationship, and we are now friends. I prefer friends. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Raker Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Parasexual? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ewok Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Parasexual? Haa! Apparently I got my words mixed up. I meant other ways of gaining pleasure that don't involve sex, really. And not the sexual reproduction of fungi. But that is cool, too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BaronTheCat Posted March 2, 2008 Share Posted March 2, 2008 So any other asexuals think sexuals should be free to have sex and asexuals should be be free to not have sex? I join all the others wo say yes :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BleedingThrough Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 So any other asexuals think sexuals should be free to have sex and asexuals should be be free to not have sex? I join all the others wo say yes :) Me too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Angelica Soprano Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 So any other asexuals think sexuals should be free to have sex and asexuals should be be free to not have sex? Yes, my mother is alike the Catherine Tate grandma character, and everyone else except herself, is a disgusting pervert! (I call her Darth!) Strangely, when I tell her I have no interest whatsoever in it, or even talking about it, as she does, - I'm the weird one! (There is the slight matter of her being married three times too) So, I conclude that like many in life, it's a case of do as I say, and not as I do! I have no problems with any gender combination and their sexuallity or what they want to get up to, as long as I don't have to participate, or watch it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
XdarkmusicianX Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Definitely! Asexuals have the right to not engage in intercourse as much as sexuals have the right to have sex. Sex isn't love; it is only one form of expressing it. While sexuals feel the need to express themselves that way, asexuals find other ways to show that special someone how much they mean to them :D Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Silestra Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Certainly they should, anything else is a kind of bigotry. I play in Second Life, and my sexual education has definitely been broadened there! I've learned quite a bit about BDSM and the whole sub/dom thing, and at first I found it really creepy, but as I talked to some of them, I realised that with most of them its entirely consensual, and no one has to do anything they don't want to. So, live and let live. Not been here in a long time, I'd forgotten how much of a relief it is to be somewhere people don't think I'm weird, (not that I go around trumpeting the fact that I'm A, but you know what I mean! :D ) Silestra Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wolf X Omega Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 I don't care that other people are having sex, as long as they're not doing it with me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
genwiz314 Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I totally agree. I mean, most of the things I read about and actually write have some sort of sexual context. I've always thought sex should be for those who want to have sex. I'll raise the glass if I can put chocolate milk in it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Shockwave Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 So any other asexuals think sexuals should be free to have sex and asexuals should be be free to not have sex? *raises hand* I also think sexuals should be free to not have sex and asexuals should be free to have sex. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
goldenlady Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I certainly can't knock sex,...after all its how we all became to be. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member21883 Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 ... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
allikay Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 me- if they don't judge me i don't judge them.... most of my friends are sexual and enjoy it so i figure- whatever. as long as i don't have to see or hear them i'm fine with it :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DavidG Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 So any other asexuals think sexuals should be free to have sex and asexuals should be be free to not have sex?Yep. :) I don't really see how anything else could make sense. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PrairieGhost Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I thought this thread was going to be about something else entirely when I read the title, and it boggled my mind to think that there are actually people who expect others to repress THEIR natural urges just because we don't have them, or at least don't have them to the extent that a sexual does. I also think it's just as unreasonable for straights to tell gays they HAVE to participate in heterosexual relationships, regardless of their own desires. It's just silly, unreasonable, and even cruel to expect another human being ignore their most basic instincts just because it makes you uncomfortable... I do think our society is a little crazy about sex, and that goes back to the Puritan influences of the past, which thoroughly quashed any suggestion of sexuality to the best of their ability. As a result, our culture has become like a teenager that has only just discovered sex, and just like a teenager, our society goes overboard and pushes it to extremes, obsesses over it and flaunts it every chance it gets. Only when we grow out of this mentality that it is something secret and forbidden (and therefore we MUST have it!) will our culture be able to be mature about sex. The problem with our sex-obsessed society is not that sexuals need to be repressed more, but rather, that they ought to be repressed less. The United States--a nation founded on freedom of speech--is one of the most heavily censored countries in the world, ranking close to the very nations we condemn for their oppressive attitudes towards their people. Sex-ed classes are restructured to tell only half-truths and only offer abstinence as a birth-control method, while completely ignoring the original purpose of the curriculum. As a result, children grow up with skewed perceptions of sex and sexuality, and are forced to explore it on their own without guidance, leading them into all sorts of tangled dramas and disasters. They continue to grow up with this mindset that sex is something forbidden and amazing, and so they fixate on it wherever, and whenever, possible, creating the sex-obsessed culture we see today. Am I disgusted by sexuals having sex? Absolutely not. I'm not even all that bothered by the sex in movies or advertising--I don't usually find it very appealing, but it doesn't drive me out of the room, either. A sex scene in a movie is no more bothersome to me than any of the other little habits of Hollywood--I find it far more annoying when they blatantly ignore historical facts or the laws of physics than when they sneak in a little pseudo-porn. Perhaps it's because of my upbringing--my father always kept his videos and magazines out in the open where I could see them, and I got the "talk" when I was only five, so sex was never a big mystery to me. When my father taught sex-ed, I watched "The Miracle of Life" with him, and I always understood from an early age that it was a natural urge that could be expressed in a healthy, productive way--not the sin-laden, forbidden fruit others came to see it as. Perhaps it is just because I am a borderline asexual--I do have occasional urges, albeit it rare--but I'm not even all that put off with the idea of having sex myself. I am more than happy to interact with my boyfriend on that level, because even though I don't feel driven to do it the way he does, I know it makes him happy, and it doesn't bother me to do it for him. I think, actually, that understanding my asexuality allowed me to be sexual with him, because I was no longer waiting for when I was "in the mood", and was able to offer him gratification for the pure and simple fact that I love him that much, and he makes me that comfortable. It is to me, just another way to show him how much I love him, just as he shows me he loves me in ways that he knows matter to me. I'm rambling, so I'm going to wrap it up there. Sorry to go on like that! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dame du Lac Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 That was a great post PrairieGhost! I find the idea that so many young Americans' "sex" education consists of being told to be abstinent quite shocking in the 21st century. Sex IS natural and normal and most people are going to want to do it, albeit in varying amounts. The sooner the world comes to terms with this the better. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PrairieGhost Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 That was a great post PrairieGhost! I find the idea that so many young Americans' "sex" education consists of being told to be abstinent quite shocking in the 21st century. Sex IS natural and normal and most people are going to want to do it, albeit in varying amounts. The sooner the world comes to terms with this the better. Aw, shucks... thanks. :3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bbctv Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 That was a great post PrairieGhost! I find the idea that so many young Americans' "sex" education consists of being told to be abstinent quite shocking in the 21st century. Sex IS natural and normal and most people are going to want to do it, albeit in varying amounts. The sooner the world comes to terms with this the better. especially ridiculous since abstinence- even by the most puritanical- is supposed to be adhered to only until marriage- well, don't they need to know for FUTURE USE? plus, schools are for facts, not propaganda. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PrairieGhost Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 That was a great post PrairieGhost! I find the idea that so many young Americans' "sex" education consists of being told to be abstinent quite shocking in the 21st century. Sex IS natural and normal and most people are going to want to do it, albeit in varying amounts. The sooner the world comes to terms with this the better. especially ridiculous since abstinence- even by the most puritanical- is supposed to be adhered to only until marriage- well, don't they need to know for FUTURE USE? plus, schools are for facts, not propaganda. I agree, it's very sad, but more and more personal beliefs and religious politics infiltrate the public school system. I live in the first state to ever ban testing on evolution >_>; All because the state school board had their own, religious agenda to push. The sad thing is, a lot of the people in this state didn't see what the big deal was. In there minds, so long as it's Christian propaganda being pushed--or what they perceive as Christian propaganda--they will just accept it, because they honestly believe it's the good and right thing to do. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Goonie Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 What the whole abstinence deal is making young adults unaware of what resources they have available...That and trying to control the youth of today through shame and guilt trips. What those in charge aren't realizing is most of these kids see straight through their propaganda. Sex ed at my school was stupid. We spent a day doing the "cup of water and we shall see who gets aids after you mix yours with someone elses and then make sure that both of you have half at the end" We were supposed to "do it" with a certain amount of people and if, when finished and the treatment was added and the water turned a color, then you had hiv. They tried giving me the cup with the original HIV virus (as their were two) but I passed it back. Something about murky water when the rest was clear set up red flags. Needless to say I hunted down those who didn't have any murky looking water. The lesson learned? Nothing to do with sex...avoid murky water - and how stupid did they think I am ;) Anyway speaking of resources missed, they never told us that we have health clinics here that do a sliding scale fee. They never informed us of the various forms of birth control. They never discussed what the different STDs do...Just that sex is bad. Everything else comes from word of mouth of young adults looking stuff up on the net. So I know this is listed as undetermined...but it reminds me of what they are trying to teach kids today. Clicky! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
! Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 There's nothing wrong with sex ^_^ Awsome song by Garbage that reminded me of this topic. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ban Posted April 3, 2008 Share Posted April 3, 2008 Is it wrong to have a phobia-like fear of sex and label myself asexual? I would like to be able to say it doesn't bother me, but it does, unavoidably so. So I guess I'll be practically the only naysayer here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hallucigenia Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Is it wrong to have a phobia-like fear of sex and label myself asexual? I would like to be able to say it doesn't bother me, but it does, unavoidably so. So I guess I'll be practically the only naysayer here. It is not wrong. There are many kinds of asexuals and some are repulsed by sex. If your fear of sex is so strong that it interferes with your quality of life, then it might be worthwhile talking to a therapist about it. There are some good behavioral therapies that exists for phobias (it is possibly the only mental disorder for which there exists a treatment that actually works). Getting rid of your fear of sex would not necessarily make you sexual; it could just make you more comfortable with being asexual in a predominantly sexual world. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kumquat Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Why shouldn't they be free to have sex? I'm also left handed, and I have no problem with right handed people writing with their right hand! Surely, if someone had a problem with people having sex, then they would be anti-sexual, rather than asexual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rathalos69 Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 I agree too. (I'm very new here, just started today, needed the reinforcement of a community, my own mom doesn't think I'm asexual, and everyone else says "wait til you meet 'the one', your feelings will change") Anyway, it's sad that I accept when people have sex, I even talk to girls who started talking to me just to talk dirty (I don't know why) and now we're great friends. But, nobody makes the effort to understand me! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
-Minus- Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 All sexuals can have as much sex as they want, as long as I'm not involved. Since it is as natural for them to have sex, as it is for me to not have sex, I don't see why I should any problems with them having sex. I'm just waiting for the day all the sexuals I know will understand and see this the way I do. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
petersmith Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 what the? Why would people have a problem with mutual, informed consentual sex? It's like militant vegetarians who flip out if someone at the table has a steak. Speaking as a strict vegetarian, I hate those people. Make me look bad. I am also a vegetarian and I have never met one of those people who flips out if there is meat AROUND them. However, I get treated like one all the time. People always go, "Do you mind if I order a burger?" I say, "I don't know, are you going to get some in my mouth? ...Then no." Similarly I have no problem with sexual people. Good for you! However, I do sort of have a problem with it being shoved in my face through popular culture all the time. It's part of the reason that I spent my teens pressing myself to be "normal". I don't know. It's your life, do what you wanna do. -Ali Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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